Giving ~ Day 8

In the green leaves, I see the past. I see the lush shades of summer.
In the yellow leaf, I see the present. I see the dazzling hues of autumn.
In the empty stem, I see the future. I see the barren tones of winter.

In this one glimpse I feel the now...

Breath comes, and I surrender. In that {often} elusive determination, to live in the moment, I find power in this moment. I find power in the notion that every now includes the past and teases the future. It's not to be denied or ignored, feared or hidden. It just is. 



From this morning's journal:

Give Away: Judgement. Criticism. Skepticism. There will be so much coming at us today with all the election stuff.... I give away all the negative noise - not the outside noise that I can't control, but the inside/reaction noise that I can choose to let go.

Give Access: Today I need to let in sadness. I give myself permission to sit for a while with the darker emotions that are swirling.

Give Thanks: Today I'm thankful for learning. Such a gift that we can be forever growing and becoming. Such a gift!

Giving ~ Day 7

Falling

Fluttering

Dangling

Carried on the wind

Caught

Cradled

I love finding the leaves and pine needles and bitty branches

all mixing it up

and changing partners

in the woodsy dance

that is autumn.

From this morning's journal;

Give Away: Routine resistance. I'm not a lover of routine. The good discipline and habits that come from routine can elude me because I resist the repetitive. Today I give away all notions of procrastination. If I've decided to do it, I will do it. No 'not now' or 'tomorrow' or 'later' ... just gonna do it.

Give Access: The to-do's. Monday-list-day! I have information gathering to do - learning and deciding and deciphering. Mind open, pen and paper ready. Today I give access to the lists!

Give Thanks: Light. I am thankful for the day light - the blue skies and lingering, colorful leaves that are aglow. I give thanks for this sunshine-filled day!

Joining Tamar and Lisa

Giving ~ Day 6

reflect on your present blessings

of which every man has many

not on your past misfortunes

of which all men have some

Charles Dickens

From this morning's journal:

Give Away: I'm back to fear - fear, confusion, sadness...confusion. Really, that's it. Confusion. Not knowing what to wish for, pray for, hope for. Faced with a loved one's illness and circumstances that are beyond my control - well, it leaves me feeling powerless, weighed down and...mostly...confused. Today I give away the need for answers.

Give Access: Today I open my heart to positive memories. And to the soothing nature of the warmth that accompanies them.

Give Thanks: Today I give thanks for health. For rest and lemony water and fresh air...and the health I enjoy.

Linking to

My Sunday Photo

Giving ~ Day 5

“Here on the pulse of this new day

You may have the grace to look up and out

And into your sister's eyes,

Into your brother's face, your country

And say simply

Very simply

With hope

Good morning.”

Maya Angelou

From this morning's journal:

Give Away: I have already lost the battle with frustration once today - let out a small scream over something so very minor. There's lots to get done today - both mundane and creative things. Today I give away frustration and stress. Each little gnarly chunk of it.

Give Access: Today I give access to breath. I will remember and remind myself to breathe!!

Give Thanks: Today I give thanks for projects. Projects and productivity. How wonder-full it is to have a home to care for and a creative endeavor to prepare for!

Sharing my Little 

Backyard Critter with

Eileen

Giving ~ Day 4

My current favorite song won Song of the Year at the CMA music awards this week. It's the Tim McGraw hit, "Humble and Kind," that was written by Lori McKenna. In many ways the song is quite simple ~ sweet, melodic, pure...and gentle. Oh, so gentle. So it came as no surprise when I learned that a mother had written it, in one sitting, as a prayer to and for her children.  So personal. Such a chunk of her heart out there for all the world to hear. Take that kind of raw, soul-gripping honesty and combine it with McGraw's vision ... a vision that says the whole.wide.world. might want to quiet down and learn from these words ... well, you touch a few {gajillion} people ... me included.

One of the lines of the song ~ Don't take for granted the love this life gives you ~ was running through my mind as I stood for a few minutes by the edge of this pond. Just the notion of not taking things - anything - for granted is food for a whole lot of thought. The colors, the reflections...the tableau that is the changing of the seasons....blessing upon blessing. Add to that thoughts about the love that this life gives me ~ not has given me or might possible give me ~ but GIVES me. Today. Now. In the moment. Each moment. It is always TRUE that I am well loved. Thoroughly and completely and safely and genuinely loved.

That notion? Well that cures just about everything.

From this morning's journal:

Give Away: Perfect love casts out/drives out fear. Today I give away the fear of rejection. The thoughts of not measuring up. Or not being enough. Oh how this fear haunts me...lurks in every shadow of my being. Today I give away the fear of rejection.

Give Access: Light. The sky is blue. The sun light plays with me as it casts shadows across my family room floor. The yellows and reds that remain on my back yard trees are glowing this morning. Today I let in the light. I lift my eyes, I am warmed and I seek views and words and ideas that are full of light.

Give Thanks: Today I give thanks for all the love this life gives me.

Linking to

Weekend Reflections

Giving ~ Day 3

"I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be. Martha said to me, very quietly: There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost.
The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.”

Martha Graham to Agnes De Mille

Don't you love it when positive, life-affirming thoughts appear on your Facebook feed? Yesterday morning this quote was among the first to appear to me...and I have to say that it both stirred me and stuck with me through the day. {Thanks, Sean}

I confess that, in this era of self-promotion, I tend to be an if-you-build-it-they-will-come kinda gal. The notion of openness ~ of tuning out the noise and tuning into my inner voice ~ resonates deeply. things get confusing from there ... Because when I put myself 'out there' the insecurities take over. I begin to ask if anything that I say or do or write or create is needed in the vast, roaring ocean of ALL that is available from ALL over the world and ALL sorts of people ... when that question, the question of my worth or value, becomes louder than the urges, the notions, the beautiful ideas that motivate me ... when that bully that calls herself "comparison" taunts me in the schoolyard ... well, then I retreat. I sit back. I hold back. And I atrophy just a tiny bit. 

Yesterday's walk in the woods reminded me, yet again, of that often quoted notion that leaves grow old so beautifully. Their aging is so full of light and color! The older I get, the more I'm inspire by this vision of aging! And, though the leaves create a glorious scene when dancing together, it is ~ perhaps ~ each unique, individual leaf that most captures my attention. 

So, I will blog and write and post and photograph and open my home and craft ~ because this is how my energy most fully expresses itself. I will keep myself open...and I might even try to believe in myself.



From this morning's journal:

Give Away: Today I listen for the word "should" ~ and with each should I give away the notion of obligation and take a moment to question myself. Is there a way to turn the "should" into a choice, the "must dos" into opportunities? Some shoulds might be able to be discarded ... I imagine most are simply calling for a mind change. A perspective change. Today I give away the thought that anything in my life is a "have to."

Give Access: Today I give myself access to rest. Early to bed. My body told me first thing this morning that it was craving more rest. I will listen.

Give Thanks: Today I am grateful for healing. Emotional and physical healing. I'm grateful for the caregivers ~ for those who inspire physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual growth. I am grateful for healing.

Joining Tamar and Kat

Giving ~ Day 1

Layers.

That's always the word that comes to me when the light does its thing and brings a wooded path to life. Depth. And layers. Not fixed layers, like we find in a rock formation. Or an onion. But movable, translucent, and often mysterious layers. Light gives way to shadow, colors fade and flourish...and textures shift from leaf, to needle to branch to sky.... Layers.

Though my husband cautions me against the use of the words 'always' and 'never' ... I believe I can say that I always connect to the gratitude that lives in my heart when I walk in the woods. The outside-world and inside-brain noise that dims the voice of my heart falls away, and my true heart song fills the air. As the layers of the forest engulf me, my outer layers seem to peel away ... and I'm left to wander with the quiet me. The secure me. The contented and, yes, grateful me.

As the fluttering New England leaves lead me through this letting go season, I'm planning to share bits of my journaling here each day this month. I've chosen three phrases: Give Away, Give Access and Give Thanks. My hope is that, as I focus on these thoughts daily, layers will peel away ... old patterns will be discarded and new insights will shine their light on less frequently traveled pathways.

From this morning:

Give Away: Fear hides. Fear disguises itself as many, many other things. Busyness scares me - not because I won't rise to the occasion and get stuff done...but because I know I can so easily fall back into my default pattern of self last. And self last means that self-care gets the short end of the stick. Today I give away the thought that I haven't really changed. I let go of the fear that building more productivity into my life will compromise my health and wellness choices.

Give Access: The air is cool - no, crisp. Frost covers the ground. The sky is clear. I think "sharp" and "sharpen" - I'm energized. Aware. Senses are alert - awakened. Today is for lists. Pad and pen at the ready. Today I give access to ideas.

Give Thanks: My body is changing. My almost 56 year old body is growing stronger. Today I "feel" the results of the last few years. It's one thing to know it - to know behavior has changed - it's another thing to FEEL the strengthening. Today I am grateful for my body. And that's huge. I can probably count on one hand the times I've felt that in my life - not 'made myself think it' but just FELT it. And today is one of those days. Today I give thanks for this beautiful ol' body of mine.

Linking to

Wednesdays Around the World