Those Darn Cookies

Cookies have never made me cry.

Oh, I've cried many rivers of tears over food and dieting and, well, food. But never specifically over cookies. When I have cravings, they're more along the lines of pizza/chips/cheese/bread. You know, the salty cravings. But cookies? Never shed a tear for them.

Yesterday I was in the grocery store. I wasn't in a hurry ~ just enjoying some time thinking about fixing my son some of his favorites and putting together a goodie bag for him as he moved into his new apartment. He's got a great new roommate and a new place in Boston, and I'm so happy for him! It's been a long time coming. He's endured the post-collegiate-have-to-live-at-home-if-I'm-gonna-pay-back-my-student-loan phase very well. And he's handled it all so responsibly. He's earned this freedom! Literally.

So, there I was in the grocery store, filling my cart, trying to remember all the ingredients I'd need for his beloved mac-n-cheese and his adored shepherd's pie. And I thought, "Oh, I know! I should also find his favorite cookies to send with him. That would make him happy!" Off I went to the cookie aisle. Sure enough, there they were. His mint chocolate Milanos. As I reached out to grab them and put them in my cart, I got all choked up. Seriously choked up. Then the tears started flowing. Right there in the cookie aisle. In the middle of Market Basket, the memories came flooding back. All the grocery trips that we've taken together...from little guy riding in the carriage, to young man keeping me company.....uh-oh, hear come those darn tears again!

I'm telling you - this motherhood thing never ceases to surprise me. And fill me. And empty me completely! It's a wonder how we manage to feel exuberantly happy, profoundly proud, achingly nostalgic and just plain sad all in the same moment. But if you're a mom, I know you know exactly what I'm talking about! I just hope, for your sake, that it doesn't all catch up with you in the middle of Market Basket.

Cause as of yesterday afternoon, I can no longer say that cookies have never made me cry.

Joining Mama Kat Writer's Workshop and Little Things Thursday

Good. Random. Fun. {week 17}

The very best thing about last week?

Two angels

{otherwise known as my children}

spent the day with me and the Ikea directions

and assembled my scrapbook room furniture!!

Over the weekend I began to fill up the storage space and get set up.

This is good!

Oh. So. Good.

Workshops begin again on Wednesday!!

In the random category,

I've discovered an iced beverage that I really {really} like at Starbucks.

Shaken Iced Passion Tango Tea.

Unsweetened.

For someone who doesn't do dairy.

Or sugar.

Or much caffeine...

It's tough to find a "fun" beverage!

I'm being told, from numerous sources, that this drink is just brewed herbal tea over ice.

Since I'm enjoying it so much,

I'm choosing to believe my sources...

Yesterday was a gorgeous spring day here in New England.

So I set out to have some fun and find a new walking trail.

You see here the entrance to the "Salem Town Forest"

and a few miles of trails,

some of which border Shadow Pond.

Lovely, right?

What started so well

turned into a bit of a crazy afternoon.

You see...I got a bit lost in the woods.

I think that when I got to this point, where the trail seems to ignore this rock wall,

I should have turned around.

Let me just say that there is A WHOLE LOT of wooded acreage out here that doesn't belong to the town. 

Or, if it does, it doesn't officially connect to the marked walking trails.

Sadly, I had wandered awfully far before I realized I wasn't where I was supposed to be.

Let's just say...

if it was alone time I was looking for, I got plenty of it before I found my way back to where I belonged.

Yup. Well over an hour just me, the pines and the birds.

Note to self: next time, bring a trail map.

Joining Tamar for

The Good. The Random. The Fun.

{Good Random Fun} Weeks 6-8

Well....it's been a few weeks.

I haven't updated on Mondays because, well, honestly I've been exhausted as I've begun each of the last few weeks. I'm pretty tired today too. To keep it real, today began with a mini-melt down. But, I'm getting ahead of myself!

In the midst of all the house hunting, the last few weeks have been full of some very, very fun things!

There was a formal dinner, a hotel stay, a few unplanned lunches with some good friends and a wine tasting party! My 'baby' boy turned 26 - whew! And some of our dearest friends came in from out of town for a visit. Throw house hunting into the mix and we've been much busier than we normally are! So... lots of fun.

In the random department, I still feel like the fact that we seriously considered buying an antique house with a 6500 square foot barn on the property one of the more random events of recent years! Here's one last photo of said property....it's kind of like "say yes to the dress" - it's fun to show you the pictures of the house we DIDN'T choose! Builds up the suspense for the grand {eventual} unveiling of the house that will become our home.

Also in the random department, one of the things I will miss about our current house, is the window at the top of the stairs that greets me each chilly morning with the most lovely frost patterns on her panes...I have loved every feathery moment of this artistry!

As far as good things? Well...the lean and mean organization purge continues. I am seriously enjoying cleaning out EVERY nook and cranny of our current abode as we prepare to move forward.

Yesterday I finished sorting/filing/paring down my photos. Felt just great to have this tedious, time consuming project completed!

With all that said - back to my mini-melt-down. We're putting an offer in on a house today. It's a first step, and who knows if this is the real "IT" ... but this is all starting to get real, and the emotions of leaving one chapter and beginning another are starting to really hit me. So...this morning was a loopy roller coaster ride in my heart and brain! Not, I feel certain, the last before this is all said and done.
Winter has sent us some beautiful, snowy days, and some unseasonably warm, sunny ones.... hmmm....the weather seems to be a bit like my emotions ~ all over the place!!

In spite of all of this craziness, the sun continues to rise and set. Family and friends are well.
And for the abundance of it all, I must say, I am oh so very grateful.

Joining Tamar for Good Random Fun

and

Judith for Mosaic Monday

Saturday

Saturday was a GOOD day...

There were horses,

and newly-discovered, very old horse stables,

and estate walls with big iron gates.

And there was a woodpecker!

It was a day filled with many RANDOM flower sightings...

Flowers in the air.

And flowers in the garden.

Very colorful flowers in the garden.

There were flowers on the bushes.

And flowers in the fields.

Acres and acres of wildflowers and fields.

So, what was the FUN part of Saturday you ask?

Well,

my son took the day off work to hang with his mom.

My choice.

Whatever we wanted to do.

So I took him to a new favorite spot

{Maudslay State Park, Newburyport, MA}

and we walked and talked for hours.

Yes,

Saturday was a very good day.

Joining Tamar for

The Good. The Random. The Fun.

Don't Blink!

In the blink of an eye
these two young men have grown, flown and shown
each other
that they are not just fair weather friends.

In the blink of an eye
the gangly pre-teens,
proud of their morning meet-ups
and independent treks to middle school,
have morphed into bearded, muscled and competent young men.
Young men glad for that day off from work so they can
meet up
on the golf course.

Together they've survived
break outs and heart break;
known burn out and had money to burn.
There have been hang outs, bail outs and even a falling out...
or two.

But at the end of the day...
at the end of yesterday,
there they were...
still hanging out.
And cooking out.
    {feeding me instead of being fed by me!}
And though smokes, scotch, and steak tips have replaced the
skinned knees, secrets and sodas of years gone by....

The smiles remain.
The friendship remains.
They don't know yet what this mother's heart knows...
They have held on to the best of themselves and
to the best of each other...
and they have no clue that it's all happened
in just the blink of an eye.

Linking up with

Little Things Thursday

and

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Six Word Fridays ~ Limit

Seems there's no limit to the

treasures in the Parisian photo vault!

Here's my little seven year old,

always the Nike wearer, on the

banks of the Seine. He may

not live in Paris these days,

but you'll never catch him without

a Nike shoe or a wristwatch!

Please join in the Friday fun!

Caption a photo, share a poem

or tell a story. Just remember,

only six words in each line!

Linking up {late} with KIM for

Little Things Thursday

Motherhood

Every mother knows. Once a mama, always a mama. It doesn't matter how old they get or how far away they roam. It doesn't matter if they're getting on your nerves or handing you a bouquet of freshly picked weeds. It just doesn't matter. There is nothing that ever lessens the hold they have on our heart. No amount of foot stomping or teen-aged shenanigans or strong arming or keep out signs or 'I hate yous' ... there's just nothing that will ever make us not a mama once we've become one.

My son was sick yesterday. His twenty-five year old self was spiking an awful fever and was just laid-out-on-the-couch miserable. And I had to laugh at myself. I felt so bad for the kid - two days off from work, and he had to be feeling so awful that he didn't even want to watch TV. I laugh at myself because I, like you, hate it when their lives hit bumps. I find myself wishing for a magic wand that could just make all their "suffering" disappear. My worst mama moments have been those moments when there's just nothing I can do. When I can't reduce their fever, or pay their over-due bill, or stop the other kid from being mean to them... Yesterday, I just wanted to make him "all better."

And yesterday I was reminded that his bad day was, in fact, still a day. A day in his life. And that I still have him. Even if I can't fix the hard stuff, I can help him to get through it. Even without a magic wand, I get to walk with him, laugh with him, cry with him....and yes, even suffer with him. Because I still have him.

Yesterday, a college friend of mine, had to face the sixth anniversary of her son's death. As I watched my son sleeping under the warmth of the afternoon sun, it wasn't hard to realize what I'd really do if I had a magic wand. Yesterday, I wouldn't have used the wand to put an end to the annoying fever that was stealing pleasure from a young man who wanted to enjoy his day off. No. Yesterday I would have waved my wand for another mama. For a mother who has taught me, through her grief, that not even the death of a child will make us not a mama once we've become one.

Yesterday, I wish I could have waved a wand and given her one more day of temperature taking. One more opportunity to nag the boy and get him to drink his fluids. One more afternoon to watch him sleep on the couch. One more miserable, awful, feverish, fitful, wonderful day with her boy.

Linking up with

Mama Kat's 

Writer's Workshop

and Kim for

Little Things Thursday

Snow, snow and more snow!

Clear skies are good.

Trudging through the snow and getting some exercise is good.

Fresh air and sunshine are oh so good!

The combination of sea gulls and snow still seems to me to be incredibly random.

I see this every year ~ you think I'd be used to it by now.

But it still just cracks me up!

The weekend forecast was for a "wintry mix" of snow, sleet, ice and even rain.

So we were all warned to clear our roofs.

Being the model citizens that we are

we sent our son to the roof of the garage...the roof of the house had pretty much blown clear.

Some of us might view this as work.

But this kid,

who has loved climbing to high places all his life,

thought this was fun!

His dad thought talking to him through the second floor window was fun.

The fun part for me?

The photo ops, of course!!

Joining Tamar for

The Good. The Random. The Fun.

Snow Daze

I'm not gonna lie.

I love all this snow.

I understand it's been hard on the roads, schools, city budgets and many psyches...

but I love it.

I think it's good that our world has to slow down a bit.

It's beautiful to watch and walk in and wonder about.

And it's only been three weeks...but we are buried in a frosted, thick coat of the white stuff.

Buried until sometime in March, I'm sure!

In the midst of all the snow

we celebrated Valentines day

and my "baby's" 25th birthday.

Nothing random here...I got my favorite roses and my boy got his favorite foods.

I didn't feel so great over the weekend, but we had some fun in spite of me...

This guy - my handsome valentine - did lots of shoveling.

Glad he had the help of the birthday boy.

My view...from the couch.

I know,

easier to love this snow from the warmth of my home.

Wish I'd had more walking time...

and even some fun shoveling time...

but I'm sure I'll get my turn when I feel better!

Joining Tamar for 

The Good. The Random. The Fun