First Milestone

Why is it we struggle with recognizing our own achievements? When my pants are loose I automatically assume they've stretched out. Yesterday while out walking I noticed how easy it felt. I also assumed it was because I must not be exerting much effort. Why is it so difficult to believe in ourselves? Well, I am going to change that and celebrate each step! My pants are loose because my body is changing! My walk is getting easier because I am in better shape and I am now down 20 lbs! I am on the right track and I am motivated to keep it up and kick it up a notch! I am 20 pounds closer to goal!

Cahokia Mounds

We have had a beautiful fall! It has been unseasonably warm and I love being able to spend time outdoors. We decided to take advantage of the weather and spend the weekend in St. Louis since there are so many great things to do. We decided to first pass through St. Louis into Illinois and explore the Cahokia Mounds. Who knew that this was the largest man-made earthen mound in the North American continent! The museum was fascinating! Gabi had to stop and read and look at each item. Our favorite display was the glassed in indian village you could walk through. It was very realistic and we were in awe when we were in the theater watching the movie about the history and at the end the screen raised and the village scene was on the other side! It was beautifully done! We sure got our exercise! We climbed the hundreds of stairs to the top of Monk's Mound. We agreed that it was the perfect time of year for this trip as we worked up a sweat walking to the top! After leaving the mounds we decided to stop at a local flea market! I felt like I was back in Guadalajara, Mexico! Lots of cool Mexican art, leather boots, soccer jerseys, and Spanish. I got to use my Spanish and chatted with one of the vendors and bought a soda. We then made a stop at the Mexican grocery store where they had pan y aguas frescas! It was awesome! We ended the day with a stop at the Mall for a little shopping and dinner at Olive Garden! What a great weekend!

A Collection of School Portraits

Well, it is that time of year again! Gabi brought home her school pictures last week and I had to get them scrapped! I started this mini album when she was in kindergarten and I am enjoying looking back through the years and seeing how much she has grown! Here's the album!

School Portraits Title Page
by Senora_x
Scrapbook.com

Kindergarten
by Senora_x
Scrapbook.com

First Grade
by Senora_x
Scrapbook.com

Second Grade
by Senora_x
Scrapbook.com

Peach Tree Farm

Gabi and I took a trip to Peach Tree Farm today and had the best day! We got to enjoy the sunshine as we strolled through pumpkin patches and fields of sunflowers! It was gorgeous. We went for a hayride, got to play with bunnies, and feed the goats! The highlight of the day for Gabi was having her face painted for the first time and for me it was having a beautiful backdrop to take lots of photos! I'll leave you with a few of my favorites from the day!

Homemade Chocolate Chip Cookies

I don't know what it is about fall but it puts me in the mood to bake! I have been craving my homemade chocolate chip cookies and apple pie. We were out of chocolate chips this weekend and Gabi has been so disappointed. After school today she asked if we could stop by Subway and pick up some cookies because if there was cookie that could compete with mine it would probably be Subway's! So instead I decided we'd come home and bake up some cookies together! That made her day! She was so excited! So I thought I'd offer up a plate of cookies to my cyber friends as well! Enjoy!

Weigh In

I seem to have hit a plateau for the last few weeks so this morning I was happy to finally see a 1 pound loss for a total loss of 16 pounds! It is time to kick it back into high gear. I've been suffering from allergies this past week and let it keep me from exercising. I went to the doctor today though and we had a nice conversation. He looked up the results of some recent blood work I had done and everything came out great! It was a relief to know all of my blood counts and thyroid were within normal range. My blood pressure has been up a little but he wasn't concerned and just encouraged me to continue eating healthy and exercise! Homecoming is over and school is starting to settle into a routine. I need to make the time to exercise daily! I won't make excuses. I hate exercising and I am very inconsistent in working out. But today I'm home from work early so it is off to hit the treadmill and make good use of those few extra hours of solitude I have today!

I'm at a Crosswords

I feel like my life has come to a fork in the road and it is time that I actually make a decision instead of sitting back and waiting for someone else to make that decision for me. The problem is I don't know which way to go! I am truly torn. There are benefits and drawbacks to both paths and of course it is always easier to stay on the path I'm used to traveling versus one that would require me to pave my own way. I have been married 11 years and I know that no marriage is perfect and it requires a lot of work. I agreed to try marriage counseling this summer but I feel like it has just postponed the inevitable. The counselor tried to make him see that he was not making his family a priority and that my concerns with his behavior were valid. But like always he rationalizes everything! I always thought he had OCD tendencies but I'm starting to worry that he may be manic depressive. Less than a year ago he went to his family all stressed out that we were living paycheck to paycheck. He was working around the clock and obsessed with money. His family sat down, listened to him explain our finances and tried to explain to him that we were fine. He never told me about this meeting and continued to work obsessively until he actually worked about 22 hours in one day without so much as a phone call home to let me know he would be out all night! When I broke down one day at a family dinner they told me that they had talked to him about his behavior and he didn't like what they had to say and he hadn't spoke to them since. Of course he wasn't attending this family dinner because he was working on the weekend as usual!

Well, fast forward to today. In the last month he has gone out and bought new furniture for our house without consulting me, a new car, finally put a deck on our house, and is talking about investing in a brand new $20,000 tractor! I thought he said we had no money!! We both work salaried jobs and make decent money. We have separate accounts and are more like roommates than husband and wife. I write him a check for half the property payment each month. He does pay the utilities but I've always paid for the cable and internet because he feels those are wants and not necessities and he doesn't spend money frivolously! He has also made it known for our 11 years of marriage that my bills are my bills and has not helped pay a cent towards my college loans. I put myself through college and I do have a hefty $25,000 in student loans but it is that degree that has provided me with the job I have! Many of my coworkers have qualified for an income based repayment plan for their loans in which they pay less than $100 a month and after 10 years the remaining balance would be forgiven. I tried to apply but because I'm married our joint income qualifies me for a $500 payment which if I were able to make that kind of payment I'd have my loan paid off anyways! So I do struggle to make it month to month! I pay him half the mortgage, I buy groceries 2 weeks out of the month, I pay for my student loans, I buy our daughter clothes and I struggle! If I were single I think I could handle the finances alone better than what I'm having to pay now. I also am starting to think I don't really know this man I married. He never talks to me about anything. He refuses to own a cell phone so I can never get a hold of him in an emergency. He doesn't have email or facebook and has always acted like he didn't even know how to use one. However, we were recently invited to a BBQ by one of his friends from work. They were telling stories and talking about other coworkers that all the wives seemed to know about. I didn't! At home he is all serious and nags me that I'm too laid back and don't take things seriously enough. When I asked him about the stories his reply is he doesn't bring work home. But when you work with someone 12 hours a day they are not just work. These are his friends. They were also talking about how he'd swipe their cell phones and leave pics on their phones or send texts from the computer! He has always stated that the reason he didn't own a phone was because he didn't know how to use it! He has never texted me either! Honestly, I do not know this man anymore and it is like he leads a double life! I have to do something I just wish I knew what that something was?!