What if you wake up one day and realize that you have a stalker?
Haha. What a dramatic intro. Ok, maybe not a ‘stalker’ in the true sense of the word but what’s the closest-next-best-equivalent? I can only describe it as stalker-ish. Real hardcore stalkers probably stalk because they’re obsessed with a person or they have crazy erotic dreams about that person at night or they’re even plotting to kill someone! Celebrities have stalkers. But do normal-ordinary-kosong human beings like us have stalkers? Oh, you would be surprised.
(By the way this is not a personal experience, I’m just sharing my friend’s plight. When it’s me, it’s me. When it’s not, it’s not) I think a friend of mine has a stalker. Or at least, a stalker-ish ‘friend’. To begin with, she’s not even a ‘friend’. She’s just my friend’s partner’s ex. Let’s call her K. So they made friends. I’m not sure who initiated the move but they made friends lah basically. And then comes the mother of all modern-time evil, facebook. At first, it was subtle. But after a while, it became so obvious, so irritating, so suffocating that almost everyone (but the stalker) realized it! What happened? Well, first, K commented incessantly on my friend’s page. An occasional comment here and there would be totally normal but this person, commented on every.single.thing. Status jangan cakap lah, the minute my friend changed her status, K will comment and her comment is not just a one liner, it’s a whole paragraph sampai kena tekan Read More. Every single time without fail. And you know how sometimes in FB you do quizzes or play games and you get to publish your results? She will comment on that too. And a big chunk of the comments would be a COMPARISON or to put it bluntly, to show-off. For example, I said something about eating sushi. That person went Ohh I just had sushi yesterday at yadayada it’s so delicious it’s so expensive. Whoever cares? This is just a simple example. Then comes the photo albums. The moment my friend uploaded her photos, the comments would come pouring in on every single picture. And don’t worry, commentary semua cukup. It’s not weird if you’re best friends or genuine friends but if you’re not really ‘friends’, why bother?
Shifting a little from our topic above, is there really a need to compete? With anyone? When I was in Uni, my friends and I compete with each other all the time for exams. We would study together and help each other understand the subject better but when it comes to the exams, it’s just you and your answer booklet. And we wanted to know our friends’ results and who fared better, who scored highest and etc. But we don’t hate that person. We are competitive yes but it’s a healthy kinda competition. It’s the kind of competitiveness that will drive you to do better in your studies. That’s a good kind of competition. But I’m seeing and hearing a new, worrying trend where people (girls especially) compete on almost everything else in life. For example, if X just threw a birthday bash last month, Y (yang tak pernah buat birthday party) will have her own birthday bash this month too, only on a larger scale. This includes everything, theme, doorgifts, decorations etc. And nowadays it’s not just birthday parties, it’s baby showers, aqiqah, hen nite, engagement, wedding, everything. Or even if you’re not bothered by what others are doing, some ‘bad influence’ in your life would say things like “ehh have you seen Miss X’s aqiqah? Theme dia floating in the sky, everything was floating..what’s yours like? What’s the doorgift? What’s the theme?”. And let’s not even start on other things such as shoes, bags, jewelleries. Designer bags, nothing less. Of course who would say no to luxurious things but what kind of satisfaction do you get if you were to buy things ‘just because somebody else’ got one too? I would suggest that in whatever you do, whatever item you decide to buy, you have to buy it because you really want it and not for the sake of ‘keeping up’ or competing with anybody. After all, most of the time that somebody tu oblivious pun yang you’re silently competing with her. Set your own standard. Everybody has his or her limit.
Another thing is getting your partners to buy things for you. I know people would say “it’s my business lah if my partner wants to buy me things, you’re just jealous”. It’s totally okay if he can afford it and he’s the kind who loves to lavish you with things. But when you start assuming that everybody else is like you, it’s just not cool man! Some people have a notion that that we can’t afford to buy things just because we don’t have a rich man by our side. Hello, welcome to the modern world. Nowadays, women work for a living and we have our own money to spend, thanks. I would never ask my fiancé to buy me things unless he volunteers. In fact, I have never asked him for anything throughout our years together. If I want something, I’ll just get it myself. I’m sure many women out there are like that too so stop being stereotypical.
And then comes my wedding preparation. I’ve done my paperwork. So that’s a huge chunk of ‘problem’ off my shoulders. It’s not as difficult as how some people claim it to be. Mine was quite smooth and I finished it all in a day. And then comes everything else. The cards are here. Hmm..so many things to do. It’s a little tiring isnt’ it? And yet at the end of the day, you know it will all be worth it. I know it’s worth it because our love deserves nothing less than perfection. That’s how I look at it. It’s not about wanting to outdo anybody, it’s not a competition. For me, it’s about celebrating the love that we’ve sowed for almost five years, it’s about celebrating our ups and downs, it’s about celebrating the fact that after all that we’ve been through, we will become one. It’s pure, it’s precious and it’s sincere. I want only the best to reflect my love for him. Yes, it is a reflection of how much I treasure what we have. And that is all. Personally, I think if you have a ‘couldn’t care less’ attitude about your big day, then it somehow shows how you don’t treat your relationship as something special or something that is worthy of your time and attention. Itu je.
Sumpah this is such a long entry. Hahaha.