Things I hate about Cyprus

Right...here it is. I'll try to keep the rant to a minimum. (Following on from 'Things I love...')

1) Class mobility

Especially in the countryside, where an up-to-recently peasant class has quickly transformed into a middle class. Nothing wrong with that, I hear you say. However, the problem is that what makes the hitherto peasants middle class are simply more material possessions. No cultural/spiritual progress has taken place, and in a way, this is much worse, as at least the peasantry had an organic relationship with the land. Its children have 4x4 BMW's and houses with two kitchens (a Cypriot first?). Our grandmothers raised 7 children while working in the fields. Their grandchildren employ Vietnamese servants and hire limos for their children's birthdays (this last one I was told, never witnessed, thankfully).

2) Racism, xenophobia, a swing to the right

The direct consequence of the Cypriots' newfound affluence and material cornucopia is a certain insecurity and fear of losing their prized possessions. Enter fear of: gypsies, foreigners, asylum seekers, the EU, Greece. Add to that the perennial fear of Turks, Brits and Americans and society is shaping up nicely for ghetto-ing its 'lesser' members. Even people who used to be left-wing-and still pretend to be-have developed right-wing, xenophobic ideas (sorry Omonoia fans, the Che Guevara t-shirt is simply not enough)

3) Land for sale

The same people who fear foreigners are more than happy to reap the benefits of globalisation and the EU. Example: what was until recently a rural landscape was largely carved up by 'developers' who built huge complexes of villas for the well-off Brits and Russians who fancy a house in the sun. This is all built and supported by Sri Lankan and Syrian builders, Vietnamese au pairs and servants, Ukranian, Belarussian sex slaves, Bulgarian farm hands, Polish hotel workers and so on. On top of that, people are xenophobic, because the people who do the dirty jobs for pittance are visible. Have cake/eat cake? That is the question. My dream is that one day we will tear down villas with our bare hands in order to plant potatoes again in order to survive. I can dream, right?

4) Individualistic realism/Realistic individualism

The fact that most people are looking after no. 1 without consideration for anyone else. Driving through Frenaros, I saw a car parked on a pavement (common practice). The problem was that a lady on a wheelchair had to get into the road to get through. Fucking barbaric. The examples are endless.

5) Being cosy: bad for reunification

Many Greek Cypriots find the current political situation rather cosy, and would secretly prefer it to remain like this or even be formalised with two independent states. The reason, product of years of brainwashing and material insecurity, is a lack of interest in living with the Turkish Cypriots. I suspect the latter don't feel very differently.

6) The obliteration of farming

The EU told us to stop growing things and buy them from other countries. So now we have Argentinian oranges, whereas in the years before 1974 Famagusta hosted an orange festival. And farmers gave their land to 'developers'.

7) The complete politicisation of heritage

See number 8 here. The Turkish-Cypriot Department of Antiquities will simply not put a padlock on this beautiful medieval Armenian church, just because it's not their heritage (their words). Medieval heritage, especially Frankish and Venetian, is simply not highlighted, in case someone thinks the island is not thoroughly Greek/Turkish.

8) Inadequate or non-existent public transport

The only people who walk in Cyprus are tourists and the previously-mentioned foreign workers. They often die on the streets, as there are many areas without proper pavements. People drive everywhere, no matter the distance.

9) The Greek-ification of Greek-Cypriot TV

By this I mean that our newsreaders, sports commentators and advert producers feel that they have to imitate Greek as spoken in Athens, even suppressing the Cypriots' ability to pronounce harder sounds so that they sound more 'Greek'. It sounds just stupid, as if forcing everyone in the UK to sound like the Queen. Fuck that. Be natural. We are Cypriots.

Things I love about Cyprus

Every time I go back to Cyprus for holidays (and to see family) I have to readjust to life there, even if it's just for a few days. It goes without saying that the differences with the UK are fairly sharp. Some things I have to revert to, some others are totally new. However, I always find things I love, new and old, discovered and re-discovered. And of course, things I absolutely hate. Here we'll deal with the nice things, because they matter more.

1) The light

You forget how brightly the sun shines. The photographs are easily over-exposed, and everything is awash with sunlight

2) The sunsets

Sunsets in Cyprus are exceptional. The sun shines red, illuminating the barley fields and painting purple the few clouds that always seem to appear above Pentadaktylos, the northern mountain range.

3) The smell of the evening dew on the freshly-harvested barley fields

Sorry, I can't possibly describe this. I guess you'll just have to travel there

4) The fact that fresh and locally produced fruit and veg are (still) easily available

Despite the best efforts of Carrefour and Alpha Mega with their Peruvian grapes and Kenyan onions

5) The beaches

But then again, I'm biased...

6) People's attitude to children

People don't disapprove and tut whenever you take your toddler to a restaurant or a museum like they do in the UK. People in Cyprus love children, and it's very relaxing. Brits, especially older people (shockingly, as they should know better) always show their disapproval with this expression they make, the one where they look at you and quickly turn away. I've had this in restaurants and also places like National Trust properties. In addition, in Cyprus people don't believe in the whole 'strict routine for children' nonsense. Nobody forces their kids to sleep at 6pm.

7) The fact that you can (still) escape

Despite its small size, Cyprus still has some beautiful, undiscovered spots which I cannot reveal here. All the 'development' couldn't ruin the countryside. And it's all within an hour's drive.

8) The history

I am stunned by it every time. The Cypriots' (both Greek and Turkish) fixation with their respective Hellenistic/Byzantine and Ottoman 'pasts' means that the island's huge medieval, Frankish and Venetian heritage is largely unexplored, under-promoted and relatively hard to find. And when you do find it, it is simply spectacular. Limassol Castle houses one of the best museums (in terms of content rather than presentation) of 'Crusader Cyprus'. Famagusta, due to decades of political limbo and neglect, is a rough diamond half buried in the sand (as the name Ammochostos suggests). The old town was one of the richest cities in Christendom in the 14th century and it shows. Its Gothic architecture and Venetian ruins are simply impossible to fathom. And yet we're fixated with Hellenistic...

Did I mention the smell of the dew on the freshly-harvested barley fields? OK then...

See also: things I hate...

William Bligh-The Mutiny on Board H.M.S. Bounty

A 3,600 Mile Voyage in an Open Boat

Just finished reading William Bligh's account of the mutiny on the Bounty. This is of course a famous episode in maritime history, one immortalised by Hollywood on more than one occasion (1916, 1935 with Clark Gable, 1962 with the legendary Brando and 1984 with Gibson/Hopkins). Although Hollywood tends to over-dramatise events and romanticise its characters, the narrative itself is nothing short of breath-taking.

The story goes as follows: In December 1787 William Bligh, a former companion of Captain Cook, set out with his crew on The Bounty from Spithead for Tahiti, where they were to procure bread fruit trees which they hoped to introduce them to the colonies in the West Indies. Their initial intention was to round Cape Horn into the Pacific and sail to Tahiti from there. However, strong winds in the area prevented them from making any progress, and after persevering for a whole month off the southern tip of South America, it was decided that they sail to Tahiti by heading in the opposite direction, south of Africa, through the Indian Ocean and from there to the Pacific.

This approach was more successful, and in October 1788 they reached 'Otaheite' as Tahiti was known at the time. The ship and crew spent five months there, collecting a total of 1,015 breadfruit plants. Most of the crew lived ashore and became accustomed to local life. Many of the men formed relationships with local women and became 'embedded' in life there. Master's Mate and Acting Lieutenant Fletcher Christian married Maimiti, a Tahitian woman. Some men even had themselves tattooed in native fashion.

All this led to disaster. The ship departed from Tahiti on 4 April 1789, and on the 28th of the same month a mutiny broke out near the Friendly Islands (known as Tonga Islands today), 1,300 miles west of Tahiti. Bligh's cabin was invaded during the night by some of the crew, who forced him and 18 of the crew who remained loyal to him into a launch, an 23-foot open boat with a sail. They were given limited supplies of water, bread, meat and rum. Strict rationing of these supplies was necessary if they were to survive the journey. Bligh issued only a quarter of a pint of water per day, plus an ounce of bread (which was getting increasingly mouldy). They first stopped at the island of Tofoa in order to gather further supplies, where natives attacked them and killed John Norton, who was stoned to death. Bligh decided that they had to make the journey to Timor by making as few stops for supplies as possible.

In a remarkable feat of seamanship and navigation,Bligh led the boat on a 47-day voyage to Timor in the Dutch East Indies, equipped only with a sextant and a pocket watch, with no charts or compass. He recorded the distance as 3,618 nautical miles (6710 km). He was chased by cannibals in what is now known as Bligh Water, Fiji, and passed through the difficult Torres Strait along the way, and landed in Kupang, Timor on June 14. Shortly after the launch reached Timor, the cook and botanist died. Three other crewmen died in the coming months.Lieutenant Bligh returned to Britain and reported the mutiny to the Admiralty on 15 March 1790.

This is an amazing example of human ability, endurance and determination. The odds were firmly stacked against Bligh and his companions. Bligh managed to navigate his way precisely where he wanted to, armed with only basic tools. Through inclement weather, malnutrition and the threat from native canoes, he managed to deliver his men to safety. After days of heavy rain, the men could no more bear to wear the soaked clothes. They took them off, washed them in sea water and wrung them, something that gave them temporary reilief. The hardships of the journey were too much for some who died in Kupang and Timor. The majority, however, were able to reach Britain safely. Bligh's account is not only valuable for the details of the impossible journey to Timor. It is also filled with good detail on life in Tahiti, the local customs and life, depicted lovingly by Bligh, who had also formed connections to local chiefs and their families.

Apart from being a useful source for the historian, Bligh's account is also a fascinating tale.

Below is the trailer for the 1962 film. I laughed at the "Tahiti...a land that has always represented escape from civilization". How pre-political correctness. Enjoy.