Hello my bloggy friends!

I don't understand all the technical blah, blah, blahs behind this move, but if you're seeing this, it hasn't reached your screen yet. Keep checking back for a big surprise!

Oh, and just to make sure I don't lose any comments in the move, comments have been closed on my posts here. Please come back and comment on my new site. I want to make sure ya'll make the move with me!

Hi sweet sisters. If you are visiting from the Proverbs 31 "Encouragement for Today" Devotion, I'm glad you're here. Please leave your prayer requests by clicking on 'post a comment' below and following the prompts.

I consider it a great honor to pray for you.

This week we've been talking about raw emotions. If you'd like to catch up on those posts after leaving your prayer requests, you can do so by clicking on the titles here:

Raw Emotions

One Good Choice

Pause, pause, pause

We've been having some great discussions this week. I love reading your comments. I have a little system set up so as you leave your comments each day, they show up on my phone. I read and appreciate every single one.

You have no idea how much joy this bloggy community brings me! I absolutely love processing life with you. I pray it is a blessing to you as well.

And because you bloggy friends are so special, I've decided to do something really fun next week. It's going to be a week like no other here in this little corner of cyber world.

You don't want to miss it!

And, it might be really cool to tell some of your friends as well. You know those friends who get glassy eyed when you talk of your love for blogs? Yeah. Even they will have fun here next week! Just tell them to go to www.LysaTerKeurst.com and they'll thank you and hug you and help you do your laundry next week.

Okay, maybe not. But you never know.

For those of you who subscribe to my blog and get it via email each day, you'll want to hop over to my actual site (www.LysaTerKeurst.com) to join in the fun.

Oh and one more cool thing.... can you keep a secret? Lean in close.

You might not have to wait until Monday for the fun to begin.

You might find your first surprise by popping over here this weekend.

Now, leave your prayer request, don't forget to go buy Dad a card and a tie before next Sunday, and come back to visit real soon. Sorry if that totally sounded bossy. I am just so excited.

Happy Day.

Yesterday I started a story about Brooke. Just in case you missed it, I'll go back and catch you up a bit...

A few days ago I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.

The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.

Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."

You would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.

Her reaction frustrated me.

Mentally, I started ticking off in my brain everything I'd done for that child that very morning. With each item on the very long list I felt my heart getting more and more revved up. This all happened in nano-seconds which is what makes these raw emotions so tough.

My emotional heart moves faster than my rational mind.

That's why I must pause-pause-pause before my mouth speaks. I have to redirect the place from which my words will come. If they come from my fast moving, revved up, irrational, heart- I will react out of my feelings in the moment.

If however, they come from my more rational mind- I can see things more clearly and react more appropriately.

So, I wisely chose in this situation to pause. And that's when I could see very clearly what was really bothering me in this situation. Ungratefulness is a huge trigger for me.

I'm all about giving, loving, and serving until someone pulls the ungrateful card on me and wham! My tame emotions become raw in an instant.

Since that was the real problem here, I was able to calmly address this with a logical consequence, "Brooke, I'm asking you to take this plate up to the trashcan and throw it away. If you choose not to do this, there will be a consequence. This afternoon you will need me to do something for you. And if you say no to me now, you are begging me to say no to you this afternoon."

I won't tell you she was suddenly all smiles and giggles. But, she did throw the paper plate away. And even if she hadn't, I was empowered by having a logical consequence to speak loudly so I didn't have to.

Now, I wish this had been the way I reacted the rest of day to other situations in my home. We have a lot of kids so we have a lot of situations.

I didn't remember to pause other times. That's where God's grace steps in and reminds me old habits sometimes die hard.

I can't do this on my own. I have to keep asking God for His super natural strength to invade my very wild heart.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever," (Psalm 73:26).

How are you doing sweet sister? What are you learning? Do you have any verses that are particularly helpful in taming your raw emotions?

One last note... Holly is excited to announce, her husband Dan has a job and they don't have to move! And do you know what's really amazing? The day their severance pay from his old job runs out is the day his new job is scheduled to begin. Praise the Lord!

Thank you for your honest and vulnerable comments from yesterday's post on raw emotions. Obviously, this strikes a pretty universal chord for us women. Isn't it nice to know we're not alone? But isn't it also sad how defeating and discouraging this is for so many of us?


I really wish learning to tame our raw emotions could come in three easy steps. Be mild. Don't yell. Exert self-control.


Sounds nice.


But learning to navigate raw emotions isn't a step by step process. For me, it's more like pealing back the layers of an onion and honestly dealing with whatever I find. If I find ugly there, I have to see it for what it is, call it what it is, and make the choice to progress or regress.


Opportunities to progress or regress don't come in tidy times of complete rationality. They come in the midst of hard situations.


Patience is birthed through situations that beg us to be impatient. Gentleness is birthed in situations that beg us to be angry. Courage is birthed through situations that beg us to be afraid.


Each time we feel a raw emotion coming to the surface it's an opportunity to either fall back into patterns that make us wallow in guilt or choose more wisely and make progress.

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil," (Ephesians 4: 26-27).


There are three things that jump out to me with these verses. First, it's not wrong for me to feel a raw emotion- in this case anger. Remember when I talked last week about feelings being indicators but not dictators? I think this verse reiterates that perfectly. It is possible to feel a raw emotion but not let it carry me to a place of full blown craziness.


Secondly, the sun going down on your anger part reminds me the most healthy way to deal with a raw emotion is to not let it fester. There is absolutely a place to walk away and cool down when we feel all tangled up inside. But, raw emotions deferred too long will ferment into bitterness, resentment, and magnified raw emotions. Basically, they rot and everyone can smell their stink.


Lastly, the 'give the devil no opportunity part.' This is the part of this verse that really grabbed my collar and in the best way got all in my face. When I let my emotions carry me to a place of wild responses, it's like I hand the devil the key to my heart and say, "Come on in and ransack all I hold dear. You can't take up permanent residence here but feel free to stay a while and smear my pastel world with the darkness of shame, guilt, and condemnation."


This visual makes me shutter.


And it makes me hyper aware that I don't just fall willy nilly into hard situations. Satan often schemes me to a place where raw emotions feel so enticing I want to give in and hand him that key.


In a logical moment I wouldn't give Satan the time of day. But let those raw emotions start churning, pulling me into irrationality and it's sad what kind of opportunities I freely afford him.


But sisters, let me sprinkle some hope around this morning. Today is a new day. And just because we've been making some stinky choices in the past while feeling like a slave to those raw emotions- we can change! We are only one choice away from freedom. So, let's make the choice today to progress instead of regress.


Yesterday I drove Brooke to school. On the way she ate her gourmet breakfast handmade by the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries- 2 slices of buttered toast. One piece of which was an end piece.


The bane of my child's existence is a piece of bread with the crust still attached. So, you can imagine the sheer happiness she felt when one whole piece of her toast was nothing but crust. Absolute joy.


Anyhow, after she picked and licked and chewed little pieces from the center, her plate was full of crumbs. Crumbs that I didn't want all over my already nasty vehicle. So, as we pulled to the front of the school I simply said, "Brooke, please carry your paper plate of crumbs with you and throw it away."


Y'all... you would have thought I just sprouted six clueless heads and told the child to take a ten pound sack of trash with her. She wanted no part of carrying a paper plate of crumbs up to the front of her school.


I'll tell you the rest of the story tomorrow.

But, I made the choice to progress past my typical response and it was good.


Okay sisters, make some progress today and come back and tell me about it. Remember, one good choice ---- it starts with just one good choice!

Raw emotions; those feelings we hide from others but spew on those we love the most.

I've spent my life trying to keep my raw emotions in check. I'm a Christian woman who loves Jesus and her family passionately but can get thrown for a loop emotionally and show it.

Not to the world at large mind you. Oh no, I'm patient and loving and extraordinarily kind to the grocery clerk, the UPS delivery woman, and even the sometimes snippy clerk at the returns counter who doesn't appreciate my inability to keep receipts. They get my best.

It's the people I absolutely love the most that sometimes get my worst. I hate that.

And it's usually the smallest, dumbest things that set me off and send me into a tizzy. One of my kids forgetting to do the dishes last night though I reminded them 3 times before I went to bed. My husband saying something with a slight edge and quickness to his voice. One of my teenagers taking too long to run an errand and not answering their cell phone when I call over and over.

These are those things that make my heart race and spark something raw and ugly to spew out of my lips. The same lips that give tender kisses and get lost in praising God on Sunday mornings. The same lips that say I love you a thousand times. Yes, those same lips that then get swept away in chaotic feelings and go to bed in tears asking, "God why do I sometimes act the way I acted today? Please help me. Please forgive me."

I have to think I'm not alone in struggling with feeling like I'm quite simply coming unglued at times. Not all the time. That's what makes this complicated. I can go long stretches of time where I finally feel like I've mastered my emotions and my heart tilts back to an even keel.

But then out of the blue some circumstance bangs its fist down on my little glue bottle and ugly, sticky gunk shoots out on someone I love. And the sad thing about me coming unglued is inevitably, it sticks things on them I never intended.

That's why I think it's high time to stand up and honestly tackle this issue that can't be solely blamed on hormones. Sure hormones play a part in this but they can't be my excuse. The Bible promises it is possible for God's girls to practice self-control.

And I can't find the escape clause where self control is possible except in times of hormonal flux. Trust me, I've looked.

But as I looked, I did find hope that God doesn't want me to be a slave to my raw emotions. As a matter of fact, I've gained some confidence it is actually possible to boss them around a bit. Tangled inside my anger, anxiety and other emotions that beg my heart to betray the woman I want to be, is a glorious hope.

That's what I want to chat about this week.

So, I have some questions for you:

* Do you ever struggle with raw emotions?

* Which raw emotions trip you up sometimes?

Before we get into today's post, I had to giggle this morning when reading my Bible. Holly asked if I would spend a few weeks reading through Deuteronomy with her. So, this morning I was in chapter 3 when God clearly says, "The Lord has given this land to you to take possession of it."

Anyone who read yesterday's post will understand why this made me giggle.


I genuinely appreciated every comment and bit of advice from yesterday! Thank you.


Today we are talking about conflict resolution. You know the joy of having a little 'situation' with someone that needs to be talked out and worked through.


Lovely.


Many of us want with all our might to avoid conflict. I love how many of you honestly admitted that. I completely understand.


Conflict is messy, emotional, raw, and frustrating.


We think we're right and can't for the life of us understand why this other person doesn't see that! But then there's this thread of caution tugging at our heart reminding us there's always two sides to every story. Always.


Bummer.


Recently, the Lord taught me a powerful lesson about conflict.


Last week, I had a meeting with my staff at the Proverbs office. I don't often go into the office because with traveling to speak on the weekends, it's better for me to work from home during the week. Anyhow, I walked in and saw my staff had made a wise choice to make better use of my office by letting others use it.


We talked about this in the past but something about seeing it in person made me pause and feel sad.


The rational part of my brain could see that this was good.


The emotional part of my heart struggled.


When I went home that day, I had a choice to make. I could get all caught up in the emotion and make this a much bigger deal than it needed to be or I could sit with Jesus and ask for a better perspective.


Often I've chosen the emotional route. And honey let me tell you, that's an exhausting road for sure. As I female I've traveled and will travel this road again. It's part of my DNA and my PMS. But for this situation some rare rationality was tugging me to just sit with Jesus and seek wisdom.


As I sat, the Lord whispered into my heart a question, "What do you really want?"


"I want to pout and explain my feelings and pout some more."


But that wasn't really true. That's how I felt but that's not what I wanted. There's a big difference between those two. Identifying that difference would lead to a solution. And in the end, a good solution should always be the goal when tackling conflict.

Feelings should be indicators not dictators. They can indicate there are some emotions to process but not dictate how we act and react in a situation.


I wanted an office at home. A real office. Not a kitchen table with piles of stuff here and there. But an organized space to call my own.


Seeing that clearly helped me cut through the emotion and focus on a solution. I called my office manager and told her I was thinking of setting up an office in my house. She was incredibly supportive and told me when I was ready I could either have my furniture from the Proverbs office or the ministry would help me purchase some.


No tangled feelings. No big issue. Just a great solution where everyone is happy.


Now, I realize this is a small situation compared to many others we'll face. But I think there's something to this process of thinking past the emotion and identifying what we really want.


At least if we know what we're after, we won't get lost in a tidy pool of feelings along the way.


What do you think?

There's a little drama going on in the TerKeurst's household and I'll be honest it's wearing me slap out.

You see we have this bonus room that has basically been a dump all catch all space for way too long. Anyone who had something they didn't want to get rid of but couldn't figure out where to put it, dumped it in this room.

It's that room.

You know the one you conveniently leave off the tour of your home. The one you sigh every time you walk by it. The one for which you wish the HGTV reality show would show up and magically transform.

We've often told the kids, "You clean it, you claim it."

What a deal right?

If they would get in there and clean it all out, they could claim the room for the kid's hang out space they've been dreaming of for years.

Well, all that changed last week when I got a little bee in my bonnet.

I'm not sure what struck me but I woke up, decided the stuff had held that room hostage long enough, and started working like mad. I decided to clean it and claim it. The room would become my office! Yes!

I was beyond thrilled at the potential.

That is until the kids came home and burst my bubble with their extreme protests. They couldn't see the beautifully cleaned out room. They couldn't appreciate the labor of their sweaty mom who'd worked like field mule hauling stuff away that day. They couldn't see progress.

All they saw was their room being snatched away.

The room that had sat for 3 years waiting to be cleaned and claimed by said children--- but never was.

See? Drama.

So, this week I want to talk about healthy ways to process conflict.

I've got some suggestions and Biblical answers to this 'joy' called conflict.

But for today, what are some of your best conflict resolution ideas? Let's chat it up!

Proverbs 2:10, "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul."