accepting still..

This space, without question, is my favourite room in our home, especially in autumn.  The warm sun streams through the windows, inviting me to sit and encouraging me to be still.  The balcony, although in need of a little attention, is quiet and private, and I can hear the kids playing below in the yard.

Yesterday was mother's day.  Mine started at 2:30am with a sick little boy having fevers and nightmares, another being woken by the commotion and spilling an entire bottle of water in his bed, moving him into the spare room, stripping bed covers, soothing and dosing the other with panadol and just as I get back into bed myself the baby wakes.  Motherhood.  It's exhausting and demanding, challenging our patience and pushing us to our limits, all the while filling our hearts to overflow.     

Somehow over time, I have conjured up great expectations of this day.  I suppose its hard not to with so much attention drawn to it, like everything, you get caught up in the commercialism and swept away by ideals. Truthfully, if it was just another sunday and not a nominated day of celebration, I think I might have considered it close to perfect, with my mothers day stall spoils, a visit to the market in the morning and a peaceful day at home after a rough night. But for some reason, while sitting up there in that gorgeous sunshine, I spent the entire day anticipating. Needing more, expecting more, feeling I hadn't done enough and should have made an effort to have been here or there or anywhere!

It wasn't until later when I realised how precious that time was.  Time to sit and be still, what a gift. Everyone was happily doing their thing, absorbed in play, no one coming up and asking for anything, nothing at all. An easier day I could not have asked for.

In fact all that was really missing was sharing a cup of tea and a chat with my own mum, but it will be just a few more days before I can do that, and she'll be here, and I can't wait.

Life is busy, and a mother's work never ends.  Perhaps the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and our family is time to be still.

home..

this little guy came home after a week at nan and pops.  He loves it there, they all do, but it's been super hot with 40 plus temperatures everyday and I think he is just worn out.

after dinner last night we took a wander down to the beach in the breeze, jumped some waves and cooled our core.  Watching him tentatively step into the water was pure joy.  The smile on his face, the sheer delight at jumping each little wave as they rolled into shore, happy squeals as though it was his first visit to the sea...there's no place like home.

the everyday..

we've been watching family movies of the boys when they were just tiny, and it's been like fuel for my heart and soul.

watching these, mostly insignificant, everyday moments in time has reminded me of the importance of keeping this blog.  I've struggled to find anything much to write about here of late, a purpose, an interest.

Sometimes theres been just so much to share that it's been too overwhelming and I've not known where to begin, so I didn't.  I thought perhaps I'd grown out of being here.  Instagram is quick and easy and I'm forever on there posting pictures of random things, but it's this space that holds so much of our life, so much of the incidental every day as well as milestones and special events.

so I've found my motivation in the everyday.  I've missed being here regularly, and although I'm not yet certain of what I'll be posting or how often, or even if anyone other than my gang and I will read it, I know I want to keep it going and I'm hoping I'll find a new groove..

at our place...

*garden bread recipe compliments of Kate

last week was a week of soaring emotions, both irrational and justified,

a week of making the most of opportunities to get out into that fresh crisp ocean air, collecting treasures and playing make believe

a week of trying new things, learning new skills and playing with the new camera

a week of making and gifting and naps in the middle of the day

of fuelling our bodies with good nutritious food and baking lots of tasty treats

a week of immense pride in our big boys amazing talent for writing, and a growing personality that seems destined for the stage

a week of de-cluttering, buying fresh flowers, dinner guests and the odd tantrum

of nursing sick boys in the middle of the night, and sipping on good old fashioned cold remedies

and a week of decompressing and looking very much forward to Spring...

enjoying the 'now'..guilt free at that!

We've a lot going on at the moment.  Lots of things to plan, decisions to make, big changes for our little family are underway.  When the time comes things are going to ramp up a whole lot, and at least initially, there won't be so much time to just 'be'.  So for now, I'm going to make the most of the calm before the storm, I'm taking things just a bit easier, and being particularly 'kind' to myself..

Everyday, I get busy, get everything sorted and in order around here, washing up to date, after school snacks and dinner prepared, house tidied, bags packed for swimming, basketball or whatever activity awaits us for the afternoon.

After all that, and before school pick up time, the day is mine.  I am taking myself out, going for walks, the occasional treat at favourite places, pottering, crocheting, I even managed a nana nap yesterday!  I'm doing this, finally after all this time, guilt free.  Isn't that astounding! Guilt free, I suppose, because I know what lies ahead, so I'm telling myself I deserve this time and one day it'll be a distant foggy memory that I want to be sure I thoroughly enjoyed.

One thing taking up the majority of this time is the re-kindled, and mildly obsessive love of take pictures. Photography has always been a joy, and blogging has been a great excuse to get camera happy again over the years.  I'm loving taking pictures of random moments, and really noticing what surrounds me.  To be honest, I frantically get all the necessary chores of the day done as quickly as possible so I can just get out there to wander, and explore!  There's not a day goes by that I don't take pictures.  There is something so incredibly satisfying about it at the end of the day, a sense of achievement and complete fulfillment.

our week..via instagram

there's always a tree to be climbed..

a teddy's birthday party to be had..

a visit to Bells Beach, the calmest seas I've ever seen there.. 

the JOY of roadside stalls, to stop & shop for dinner..

crocheting for the masses..

layering up, it's what I love most about the cooler months.. 

and settling in after busy days...

I hope your week has been a great one.  Hubby's back at work & its time for me to re-establish routines again.  So far, so good.  Funny how you can start to miss the busy..x

today..

today I'm exhausted, lacking in sleep, lacking in motivation.  Feeling a little bit claustrophobic with all the 'stuff' around here.  In cupboards, on benches, oh God, the SHED!  I can feel a garage sale coming on, in fact at this point I could just open the gate, pop up some balloons with a sign that says 'TAKE IT!" take it all..

I've lots of things I should be doing, there's always a list a mile long.  Some things are more important than others, some things are just things I'd like to do...

The little guy has been 'difficult' at nighttime. Waking most nights for the last couple of weeks needing something, anything, a night light on, a night light off, a fan on, a fan off, water, it's too quiet, the crickets are too noisy, he needs his lego guy on the bed ready for morning, anything!  He's never been a great sleeper, I'm sure this will change..eventually.  But today, hubby & I are both exhausted.

Today I'm going to tidy up, I feel better when things are tidy.  I'm going to make myself something.  I'd like to make a skirt, I have one in my head, but I'm not going to shop for the fabric today, so a scarf maybe. That's it, that's all I'm doing today.  Hubby's bringing home a movie & some wine, we'll sort something out for dinner, I'm sure the freezer is full of leftovers especially for days just like this.

Looking forward to the weekend, and hopefully a good nights sleep will have me re-energised & ready to trim that hedge outside before it lifts the roof off the deck!

a HOT weekend..

I spent time this weekend capturing the light around our place at different times of day.. 

I got a bit camera happy, carried away & having fun with Instagram.. 

it was stinking hot & the garden was in need of some attention..

loads of silverbeet made a gorgeous spanakopita, those tomatoes are going into tonight's pasta..

we spent the day at the beach on Saturday, but I've no pictures to show for it, we were in the water the entire time we were there.. 

then late yesterday the weather turned, dark clouds gradually took over the sky, an eerie smell of fire smoke filled the air, always unsettling, but it blew over fairly soon & according to the news, it was all under control.

It was our 12th wedding anniversary yesterday.  We had plans to go out to a local cafe for lunch, sip chilled wine while watching the kids play on the beach, but we didn't do any of that, in fact after some gardening, getting uniforms & work shirts ready for the week, we all parked it on the couch or in cushion cubbies, stayed in the cool & watched Dennis the Menace & Ice Age.  Sometimes it's just nice to do nothing... 

celebrate..

4o!!

The day has arrived, the night has been and gone.  I have been truly spoiled by beautiful friends & family, and feel very, very grateful indeed..

everything looked fabulous at night time too, with fairy lights & candles in abundance twinkling all around.

Today I am grateful for celebrations...

fairy lights

candles

perfect warm weather

sangria

paella

champagne

cake

chocolate covered strawberries

ice creams

gorgeous people

great music

dancing shoes

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