I've gone to the dogs! (with Charmaine Clancy)

Celebrate the release of Charmaine Clancy's new book and win prizes!

Dognapped? A dog show detective mystery featuring Kitty and her mischievous miniature schnauzer, Spade. In this adventure, they unravel the mystery of the missing dog -- simply lost, or something more sinister?

A lost dog

A stolen dog

A mysterious will

It all equals murder!

Meet twelve-year-old Kitty, friendless bookworm and amateur sleuth. All Kitty wants is to gain her mother’s attention, spend time with her miniature schnauzer Spade, and avoid Miss Perfect, Jessica Jones. 

Kitty’s world turns upside down when she finds a lost dog, and she needs Jessica’s help to find the owner, hunt down a dognapper, and solve a murder.

Introducing Kitty Walker and her mischievous dog Spade in the first Dog Show Detective Mystery.

Dognapped? is a mystery novel perfect for curious girls aged 10-12yrs. There are funny and cute canine characters, but also an element of danger! 

To celebrate the release of Dognapped?, the author, Charmaine Clancy (author of the popular kids' horror novel, My Zombie Dog), is giving away a Kindle Fire! (Kindle Paperwhite if winner resides outside the US - Amazon won't ship the Fire to non-US countries). That's not all, one lucky runner-up will receive a $25 Amazon gift voucher!

There are two ways to enter:

1. Purchase your copy of Dognapped?, then fill in the entry form below. You'll be asked for your receipt number from Amazon (it will be on the receipt Amazon email you - keep a copy of your receipt as proof of purchase if you win). Dognapped? will be FREE May 22nd and 23rd, and yes you can still enter if you downloaded your copy FREE! 

or

2. Blog about this competition or about Dognapped? (you can review, talk about or interview) then fill in the entry form below. You will be asked for your blog post link in the entry form. If you'd like to review the book, Charmaine will send you a free review copy, simply email: charmaineclancy@gmail.com. 

If you blog and purchase the book, then yes, you get two entries.

Too easy! This competition runs from now until 7 July 2013.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Winners!

Oh, happy day! I am pleased to announce the winners of my Triplicity celebration and contest.

I'll begin with the skills portion of the contest. This was a fun one to judge, though I think I may have pulled a muscle busting a gut too many times.

The World's Worst Metaphors and Similes winners are (in alpha order by author):

Kayeleen Hamblin of Kayeleen's Creation Corner

The water fell like the tinkling of a grown man with bladder incontinence.

PK Hrezo of My Fiction Addiction

He persistence was like that of a dog returning time and again with a slobbery rope toy no one wants to play with.

Janet Johnson of Musings of a Children's Writer

His suitcase was as heavy as Grandma's pudding and twice as tasty.


Okay, funny gals, you may choose any one of the following:
~a 10-page detailed critique
~10 pages of copy editing
~an editorial overview of up to 50 pages, outlining areas for growth
~a character naming consultation. I'll help you research and find/create up to three character names, any genre.

Please drop me a line at laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com to arrange your prize of my time/expertise.


And now for the lucky one, the winner of a $30 Amazon gift certificate!

Who do you suppose came up as my random drawing winner?

. . .

Wait for it...


Who will get an Amazon shopping spree?


Who, oh, who?

Seriously, who?

Are you tingling with anticipation yet?


How cruel can I be?


Tell us already!


Okay, okay, don't get violent, friends.

According to RANDOM.ORG,

who so efficiently scrambled my long, long list of entrants,

the winner is...

Jenna Wallace!
of Writing in the Dreamstate

Congrats, Jenna! Drop me a line at laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com with your preferred e-mail address and I'll arrange delivery of your $30 Amazon.com gift certificate. Happy shopping!

Don't forget to come back tomorrow for Thestral Thursday. That's right, it's another issue of our Hogwarts underground newspaper, the Thestral Gazette. The lovely Lisa Galek of Read. Write. Repeat. will bring us a batch of juicy school gossip gathered by her alter ego, Belicia Babble.

Which of the winning similes struck you as funniest? Why?

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More time to win and guest post

Guest post interview
The lovely Yat Yee Chong interviewed me over on her blog--my very first interview! Find out about what I've been reading and my secret fantasy of being a jazz musician. You can check it out HERE.

Triplicity continues
I'm extending the deadline to enter my Triplicity drawing and contest, in celebration of reaching 333 followers. You now have until next Tuesday, June 7, to enter.

Drawing
I'm giving away a $30 amazon gift certificate to one lucky entrant (U.S. only). You just have to leave a comment here, or on the original post. Additional entries are given as follows:

+5 Existing follower
+3 New follower
+2 Tweet contest
+2 Link contest on your blog sidebar
+5 Blog about the contest
+10 Pose an "Ask-the-editor" question on grammar, punctuation, critiquing
+1 Calculate your total number of entries

Microfiction contest
Groan-worthy similes and metaphors
Send up to three entries of original, groan-worthy metaphors or similes, just a sentence each, via e-mail as inline text to laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com.

A few examples:
~Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
~It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
~His cover was blown like a man with a neat comb-over turning a windy corner.
~Her eyes were the mesmerizing green of a moldy cucumber liquefying in the vegetable drawer.

Open to international contestants.

Prizes (winners may chose any one):
~a 10-page detailed critique
~10 pages of copy editing
~an editorial overview of up to 50 pages, outlining areas for growth
~a character naming consultation. I'll help you research and find/create up to three character names, any genre.

How would you have answered Yat Yee's question: "how would you want your work to be characterized--first three words that pop into your mind?"

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In case you missed it...

I'm holding an awesome contest!

Sign up for the random drawing to win a $30 Amazon gift card. Earn extra entries for blogging, tweets and asking me editing questions. Feel free to grab this nifty button I made and use it in your sidebar.

An optional part 2: Send me your most groan-worthy metaphors and similes for a chance to win critiques, editing help or a character naming consult.

Click HERE to see all the details and to enter!

I've recently noticed a big drop off in comments and hits on Thursdays and Fridays. Is this a new trend? I'm wondering if I need to rethink my posting schedule.

What's your habit? Do you look at blogs only on Mon.-Wed.?

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Triplicity celebration and contest

I have a quirky love for pattern and symmetry, thus the blogging milestones I chose to celebrate were 111, an "Eleventy one" celebration and 202, my "Too, oh, too Cool" contest.

I'm nearing another such symmetrical milestone--333 followers, so you know what that means. It's time for another celebration with fun and, of course, PRIZES!

My Triplicity celebration and contest is a two-parter--one part skills-based (international), the other, luck-based (US only). You may enter one part of the contest or both, depending on your residency.

Part 1: World's worst metaphors and similes contest
Send up to three entries of original, groan-worthy metaphors or similes (no plagiarism, please) via e-mail as inline text to laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com. For some examples, see my recent blogfest post. This contest is open to international contestants.

The deadline to enter is Tuesday, May 31, 5 p.m. Eastern.

Three top winners will be chosen. Each may chose any one of the following prizes:
~a 10-page detailed critique
~10 pages of copy editing
~an editorial overview of up to 50 pages, outlining areas for growth
~a character naming consultation. I'll help you research and find/create up to three character names, any genre.

Part 2: Prize Drawing
I will be giving away a $30 Amazon gift certificate to one lucky winner (U.S. residents only, please).

To enter, you must leave a comment to this post.

Bonus entries will be given as follows:
+5 Existing follower
+3 New follower as of 5/19
+2 Tweet contest
+2 Link contest on your blog sidebar
+5 Blog about the contest
+10 Pose an "Ask-the-editor" question on grammar, punctuation, critiquing
+1 Calculate your total number of entries

Contest closes Tuesday, May 31, 5 p.m. Eastern.

Come back tomorrow for your weekly dose of Harry Potter hilarity, The Thestral Gazette, featuring celebrity gossip from the wizarding world by guest reporter Melissa Sarno!

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Austen-inspired story contest: please vote!

The Republic of Pemberley site is holding a short story contest, "Jane Austen Made Me Do It." Click HERE to read the stories and vote for your top three favorites.

One might question whether this is a popularity contest or a skill-based one. Perhaps it's a bit of both, so I really wanted to draw your attention to the entry by the talented Jenna Wallace, who was one of my writing contest winners last year. Her story is #74 "Intent and Intensity." It's a clever and really well-written updating of Sense and Sensibility.

Swing on by before 2/28 and give our blogger pal your support! Her work definitely deserves it.

What do you think of updated classics?

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Guest posting at My Poetry and Prose Place

I've been selected as one of Angela Felsted's Poets of the Month after placing in her poetry contest. Today she posted my poem "Moving On" at My Poetry and Prose Place. I'll be doing another guest post on 2/21 and a second poem, "Graham at St. Stephens" will be featured on 2/28. If you get a chance, swing on by to say hello.

I fell hard for poetry while taking a contemporary poetry course as an undergrad. The prof began the class by lining us around the perimeter of the room and having us shout random portions of Allen Ginsberg's "Howl" at one another. This was a universe away from the precious ponderings of Wordsworth and a game changer for me creatively. Many scenarios I would've previously thought unpoetical became grist for the mill--my janitorial work-study job, memories of Dad slaughtering chickens, a weedy patch in a slum--because truth is beautiful, no matter where you find it.

The pieces I entered in Angela's contest are both built from my novel notes--pieces of backstory that never made it into the book. I'll be posting tomorrow (my regular day) about getting more mileage from your character studies.

What authors have been game-changers for your creatively? Have you ever found a beautiful truth in an ugly place?

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Win Amazon gift cards!

The Alliterative Allomorph Jessica Bell, everyone's favorite Aussie ex-pat, is having a big, shiny giveaway of amazon.com gift cards. This one's open to international entries--good thing since Jessica lives in Greece.

Click HERE to learn more and enter. Go check it out!

And don't you love her theme?

What little things do you want to celebrate?

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Austen fans--giveaway at Read. Write. Repeat.

Lisa Galek, a fellow YA writer, is giving away a copy of the YA historical novel I Was Jane Austen's Best Friend by Cora Harrison over at Read. Write. Repeat. Click HERE to find out more and enter to win.

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Giveaway winner!

Thanks to all who entered my drawing to win the easy reader Adventures of the Poodle Posse: Creepy Tails.

I entered your names in random.org and let it choose my lucky winner (so easy; why haven't I used this site sooner??)

Drumroll, please....raditta, taditta, raditta, taditta

And the winner is:

Charity Bradford!

Congratulations, Charity. Please send me your postal address to laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com. I'll make haste to ship it to you!

How was your weekend, friends?

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Halloween giveaway

Just in time for Halloween, I'll be giving away a copy of Adventures of the Poodle Posse: Creepy Tails.

This adorable easy reader includes an illustrated story about the Poodle Posse's trick-or-treat adventures, plus Halloween activities and recipes--great holiday fun for you and the kids. It's a project I copy edited, written by one of my critique partners, Chrysa Smith. You can learn more about her poodle stories for kids at The Well Bred Book.

To enter the drawing, you must be a follower and comment below. Tweet this post for an extra entry (let me know in your comment that you did so).

I'll announce the winner on Monday, October 25.

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Too, oh too cool contest

The happy day has arrived! In celebration of reaching 202 followers, I'm hosting a "Too, oh too cool" prize drawing that you, dear readers, helped design.

I'll be giving away three separate prizes--unisex cool stuff (so please enter, gentlemen!). This is open to international entrants, though only US residents are eligible for the gift card.

Drawing prizes

1) Gift card: $15 Staples card for stocking up on printer paper, note cards and other necessities.

2) Totebag: Harry Potter inspired "expecto patronem" tote for keeping the dementors out of your latest haul from the library.

3) Goodies to inspire you
Mousepad (or use as XXL coaster for your drinks): "The alchemy of writing consists of imagination, drive and discipline. Have these and the rest is a forgone conclusion." (See image HERE.)

Keychain: "Writers Write" with vintage typewriter (See image HERE.)

Magnet: "Read, seek, imagine..." (image at left)





To enter, you must leave a comment to this post.

Bonus entries will be given as follows:
+5 Existing follower
+3 New follower as of 9/7
+2 Tweet contest
+5 Link contest on your blog sidebar
+10 Pose an "Ask-the-editor" question on grammar, punctuation, critiquing
+1 Indicate whether you are US or international
+1 Calculate your total number of entries

Contest is now CLOSED

Winners will be announced Thursday, September 23.

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Poll help and call for questions

I'm still collecting votes about my upcoming 202 followers contest. Once you fill out the widget at the top of the page and click "VOTE," it should give you poll results as a slide show after a 5-10 second delay. If you're having trouble using the thing (this might be a PC vs. Mac issue), you can also fill out the widget HERE (or so say the fine widget-creating folks at GlowDay).

I thought it might be helpful to clarify some of the possible answers also, since the widget limited the number of characters I could use.

Here's some clarification on question 3, "How should I select winners?"

1. Random drawing of followers
You do nothing. New followers each have one entry, existing followers have two.

2. Draw based on entries
You get extra chances to win by tweeting and linking on your blog.

3. Writing contest
You write something, I judge it. If this appeals, you can tell me more of what you'd like to submit in question 4.

4. Both 1 and 3
A two-part contest with multiple prizes, like I did with the Eleventy-one Contest. There'd be a random drawing based on luck, writing component based on skill.

5. Both 2 and 3
Again, a two-part contest with multiple prizes. Part one would be a drawing of the luckiest horn-tooter, part two, the most skilled writer.

Hope that makes sense!

Do you have other questions about this, or about grammar/usage? I'd love to do more "Editor-on-Call" posts, so don't be shy!

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Too, oh too cool

Well, friends, I've reached another blog milestone--202 followers. Those who've been following a while know of my geeky love of symmetry, as evidenced in my Eleventy-one followers contest and the Whoops! Blogfest held on 2/22.

My last contest had both a luck component (random drawing) and a skill component (writing contest), but no horn-tooting component (points for tweeting and blog sidebars and the like). Would I have 600 followers by now if I'd done that back in March? No idea. I've never attempted horn-tooting. I just do my thing here and hope it's useful to someone.

I'm feeling a little conflicted about how to run this celebration, so I thought I'd democratize and let you all tell me what you'd like. I'll be collecting responses to the questionnaire in the widget above until Friday midnight eastern time.

Tell me about your experiences with blog contests--hosting and participating. What do you love? What do you hate?

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Eleventy-one Winner: Grand Prize

Welcome to the final day of my Eleventy-one awards program, celebrating my 111 followers (plus quite a few more) and their wonderful writing. Day by day, you've had a chance to see different approaches to persuasive dialogue in action. Today I reveal the top prize winner!

As in the previous days, I provide a short commentary after the winning entry that includes take-home tips to try in your own work. Today's winner, as you'll see, shows us how negotiation can be complex, yet still FUN. There are some great techniques to see here, and try at home!

Without further ado, my grand prize winner is...

Janet Johnson!

Janet won a fifteen-page critique. You can read Janet's winning novel excerpt from The Other Prince HERE.

(My publishing copyright arrangement with winners was a one-time short term use. All rights reverted to the respective authors after one week.)

====================

What I noticed immediately is how natural Janet's dialogue sounds. I found I could read this aloud in two distinct voices without any effort, just based on the word choices and cadence. I feel Bob's somewhat whiny petulance, and yet I like this guy from the beginning. He's insightful and witty about his predicament and really humble. Briann exudes a no-nonsense approach to life, and yet she, too, is insightful and a good listener to boot.

Some of the details tell us we're in a fantasy setting, but the lingo here is lighter and more contemporary feeling. It's fantasy that doesn't take itself too seriously, very like Rowling in tone. That's a plus as far as I'm concerned, because I can't read much of the "forsooth, my lord," sort high fantasy nowadays without snickering. But I digress....

Janet's piece is a persuasion you'll see in almost every genre--creation of an alliance. I learned a lot about what goes into trust-building by studying what she does here.

Trust surely comes when one feels understood and heard. Notice how Briann draws Bob out, getting him to talk about his specific fears. I love how she pulls up a bucket and sits. It's a nonverbal cue that says "I'm available, I'm invested, talk to me." She asks questions initially, but doesn't interrogate. As he opens up more, she simply reflects what he's saying to show that she's processing, taking it in.

She waits to press him to action, first by teasing, then by offering a solution. Because she has heard him out and because of the earlier teasing, he doesn't get angry at her suggestion. He instead shifts the conversation's tone to a humor sparring. It's a way of getting back onto familiar territory. Bob's more comfortable with his self-deprecating side than with the guy Briann suggests he might be. That, my friends, is some solid characterization. Go and do likewise!

Briann knows just which buttons to push to get Bob to agree to her plan. It's an interesting mix of attack, shaming, name-calling, plus compliments, reassuring, and even exposing inner self. Janet grabs many tools from the negotiation toolbox and works them to great effect in a very small space. It impressed me greatly.

What totally kicked me in the throat here, though, was Bob's inner thoughts near the end of the scene. He's sensed that not only does he have a plan for dealing with his problem, but that his relationship with Briann has subtly shifted. Or at least he's aware that he wishes it would. He reads back meaning into what just transpired and hopes intensely for just a moment, caught up in the dream of being that guy, the one Briann sees in him. That guy that Briann could love. Then...THUD, he's back to being humble old Bob. Wow. I've just seen the larger story arc play out in his head in just a handful of words. Nice. Very nice.

Technically, I think the piece would be just as effective with fewer dialogue tags. Feel free to weigh in about that in the comments.

What do you appreciate about Janet's winning entry? Which of her techniques do you want to try in your own work?

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Eleventy-one Winner: first runner-up

Welcome to day three of my Eleventy-one awards program, celebrating my 111 followers (plus quite a few more!) and their wonderful writing. Day by day, you'll have a chance to see different approaches to persuasive dialogue in action. As your ever-analytical host, I provide a short commentary after each winning entry that includes take-home tips to try in your own work.

Without further ado, my first runner-up winner is...

Victoria Dixon!

Victoria won You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen.

You can read Victoria's winning novel excerpt from Mourn Their Courage HERE.

(My publishing copyright arrangement with winners was a one-time short term use. All rights reverted to the respective authors after one week.)
===================

Elegant. That word sums up this delicious bit of tense dialogue. What makes it so is Victoria's use of milieu and balance.

By milieu, I mean more than just setting. Victoria draws on the larger cultural mores of her Asian setting--how the characters dress, move, gesture, emote, establish hierarchy and express intimacy is formed by a larger culture. That culture pours meaning into the deepness of a bow. Power plays in this environment happen with the flicker of an eyebrow. Friendship is given or withdrawn in the inches between to two people on a bench. In this rigid social structure, so much deep conflict is expressed in the slightest gesture or inflection or turn of phrase.

The words these two men say to one another seem, on the surface, rather bureaucratic and even dull. But the tension ripples nonetheless. How does Victoria do that? She interprets the data through Xiongli's thoughts. His interpretations guide us so we know what to make of Wu. In the West, we might see a look in the eyes as honest, a confident stride as ease. Not in this culture. These things make Xiongli uneasy. We quickly pick up that Wu's manners mark him as cocky--a force to be reckoned with.

If your writing involves any kind of world-building, whether it's a contemporary non-Western culture, an historic culture or a futuristic non-earth world, you need to establish milieu. Victoria demonstrates an important aspect of how you present the particulars of your milieu: use of a protagonist interpreter guide. Without Xiongli's hints about how to understand every gesture, this piece would have quickly become incoherent.

Victoria also balances three narrative elements very well: dialogue, action and inner thoughts/emotions. The dialogue takes on greater weight because the movement through the scene and Xiongli's reactions work alongside to heighten tension. While no actual fighting takes place, there is a constant threat of violence, from seeing a face "covered with scars," to "guards...within sword range" to a dagger clutched inside a sleeve. The constant reading of nonverbal cues also puts us on edge. We quickly realize this meeting is more than two men talking--these are representatives of two large powers, with the ability to back up any threat made.

I think I was most wowed by the insertion of Wu's fish feeding in this scene. This gesture that seems innocuous is anything but. It's a delay and diversion tactic on one hand, and a show of power on the other. It makes Wu appear calm, unruffled by this government heavy. And yet Xiongli's description of "gasping" fish and "waiting mouths" undergirds the impression that Wu holds power over his guild and can call upon them when necessary.

In the midst of all these small gestures, these men exchange threats and negotiate a way for the empire to capture an enemy that Wu's guild has been traitorously harboring. The give and take is so very diplomatic and coldly calculating, you can picture how the enemy Zhang will be brought to justice--in a swift, stealthy ambush. Chilling and powerful and incredibly page turning!

What do you appreciate about Victoria's winning entry? Which of her techniques do you want to try in your own work?

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Eleventy-one Winner: second runner-up

Welcome to day two of my Eleventy-one awards program, celebrating my 111 followers and their wonderful writing. Day by day, you'll have a chance to see different approaches to persuasive dialogue in action. As your ever-analytical host, I provide a short commentary after each winning entry that includes take-home tips to try in your own work.

Without further ado, my second runner-up winner is...

Tricia O'Brien!

Tricia won an eight-page critique. You can read Tricia's winning story excerpt from
"Princess Charming" HERE.

(My publishing copyright arrangement with winners was a one-time short term use. All rights reverted to the respective authors after one week.)
=========================

Tricia's use of detail and description is important for cluing you in that this isn't a contemporary setting, but a fairy-tale-esque one. But she doesn't belabor the point. There are just enough "telling details" for the reader to sense the wealth, pomp and especially the MCs discomfort. The contrast of Charming's colloquial inner voice with the formality of the situation shows us she's being forced into a defensive position.

Looking for a way to make your antagonist more formidable? Have him force a meeting somewhere he is comfortable and in control and your protagonist is disadvantaged and out of her comfort zone.

The way father and daughter attempt to chip away at one another is clever indeed. King Ormond presses again and again by calling upon lofty themes of destiny and duty and calling. Charming refuses to play the game on his terms. She acts at her "maximum capacity" (as James Frey calls it in How to Write a D**n Good Novel) and uses every skill in her arsenal to defend herself. Charming's feistiness is what makes this piece sing. Nothing irritates me more as a reader than the helpless wimp who capitulates without putting up any resistance. Even Jesus wrestled with God in Gethsemane about facing the cross. Give your characters a spine, please!

Charming openly defies the king, first by questioning the validity of his interpretation. Seeing that her mother is sympathetic (and a potential ally), she highlights the personal risk she'd face on this quest. In doing so, she's shifted the ground under the king. He can stick with his line of argument, but he risks losing the queen's goodwill.

When you find your characters' arguments becoming a little too predictable or boring, consider following Tricia's lead. Add a third party witness who isn't actively taking sides and see how it can add complexity and alter the techniques your characters use to try to get their way.

The more the king tries to boss and bully, notice how Charming emphasizes her own unfitness. Her hope is to gain advantage in her cause by showing herself weak. This kind of move might seem counter-intuitive, but it's effecting and real. It tells you a lot about what kind of girl she is--quick-witted and self-deprecating and likely to approach problems creatively.

Once her father stops bullying and instead appeals to her uniqueness, he reclaims the superior position of sympathy. She must take on the quest because no one else can--and people are counting on her. To continue to defy at this point will no longer earn Charming any sympathy from the queen or the courtiers. Her options for escape are cut off. She capitulates.

What do you appreciate about Tricia's winning entry? Which of her techniques do you want to try in your own work?

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Eleventy-one Winner: third runner up

The happy day has arrived to begin announcing the winners of my Eleventy-one Celebration Writing Contest, in honor of making 111 blogging friends.

Contest entrants submitted a short piece, 700 words or less, that was dialogue-driven and displayed and instance of characters negotiating or persuading. I've selected four winners out of the thirteen entries: a grand prize and three runners up. Winners were selected based on how well they followed the prompt. Here are the questions I asked when evaluating each piece:

~Does each character have a clear point of view and emotional pulse?

~How skillfully does the persuader work his or her tools of persuasion?

~Does the persuaded character convincingly defend his or her ground before capitulating?

~Is the story coherent and smooth?

~Is the dialogue paced well for the situation?

~Does each character have a distinct voice?

As I post each winning entry over the next four days, I plan to include a short commentary afterward with some analysis and take-home tips to try in your own work.

Without further ado, my third runner-up winner is...

Jenna Wallace!

Jenna won The Scene Book: A Primer for the Fiction Writer by Sandra Scofield.

You can read Jenna's winning novel excerpt from The Shadow Scribe HERE.

(My publishing copyright arrangement with winners was a one-time short term use. All rights reverted to the respective authors after one week.)
========================

I really like the economy of this interaction between MC Lara and Isobel. We pick up pretty quickly that they're in a restaurant without getting bogged down in excessive description. Just a few well-placed cues like pointing with food and the waitress interrupting. The setting is somewhat incidental, but not irrelevant--being in a public place puts certain constraints on how heated a conversation can become.

Jenna uses almost no dialogue tags, the "she said, I said" sort of thing. Instead, she makes each character's voice unique enough you can quickly distinguish each speaker. Isobel's speech is more formal and nuanced, while Lara's is colloquial and straight forward. A few actions sprinkled in keep us anchored.

This act of persuasion is very light-touch. Isobel builds her case in little increments, always starting from points of agreement with Lara, then pressing against Lara's areas of resistance with questions. This is an excellent way to shape a negotiation.

When Lara presses back, note how Isobel tries to appear nonchalant, as if she's willing to back down, when in fact she's just dodging a blow. Lara's internal thoughts show where and how the persuasion is working. Nice, huh?

I think Jenna's most compelling technique here is drawing in an off-stage character and building an alliance against him. She's subtly moved the line of conflict. Not longer is it Isobel vs. Lara, but Isobel and Lara vs. David.

What do you appreciate about Jenna's winning entry? Which of her techniques do you want to try in your own work?

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Deadline approaching and Easter miracles

The deadline is fast approaching (tomorrow!) to submit your entry to my Eleventy-one Celebration Writing Contest in honor of making 111 blog friends. (For my new readers, the celebration has a hobbit theme built around the amazing age Bilbo celebrates in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring.)

Let's start with the tantalizing treasure to be won:

Grand Prize
A 15-page critique OR copy editing
From a professional editor with 14 years' experience and a masters degree in journalism

Runner-up prizes (3 total):

An 8-page critique OR copy editing

The Scene Book: A Primer for the Ficition Writer by Sandra Scofield
Scofield's primer on the basic building block of fiction--the scene--is the one resource that took my writing to the next level. It's like an MFA course in travel size. It covers everything you need to know to build solid scenes that flow logically and artfully build and release tension.


You Just Don't Understand: Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen
If you ever want to write the opposite-sex POV, this is an invaluable resource for understanding the differences between how men and women talk. Tannen is a linguist who studied gender communication styles and does an in-depth analysis. It's a fascinating book written for a general audience that will improve your writing AND your relationships.

What do you need to do to capture such fabulous prizes?

Contest rules:
1. Submit a piece of original fiction (not previously published), up to 700 words. It can be flash fiction or a scene from an existing WIP that works as a stand-alone scene. It may be any genre except erotica or horror. And please refrain from using R-rated language.

Your scene or story must be dialogue-driven and show an instance of negotiation (give-and-take conflict) and persuasion, like the post-party scene in Fellowship of the Ring in which Gandalf convinces Bilbo to leave the ring of power in the Shire (pp. 41-43). You can read an excerpt HERE. (This is meant to illustrate the type of scene, not the style. You don't have to mimic Tolkien.)

2. Include your name, e-mail and postal addresses with your submission.

3. By submitting to the Eleventy-one contest, you give me permission to publish your winning entry on Laurel's Leaves. Payment for this publication is stipulated above. (The editor in me had to include that legal stuff. If you have concerns about rights being granted, drop me an e-mail.)

4. Send your submission via e-mail as inline text to laurels (dot) leaves (at) gmail (dot) com.

5. The deadline to submit is Sunday, April 4, midnight EDT (eastern daylight time).

Many thanks to all of you. I look forward to the prize drawing and reading your amazing dialogue scenes!

Easter miracles
As many of you know, I have a fantastic teen alpha reader who's part of my church youth group and has been cheering me on since 2006. She graduates this spring and will be heading off to college in the fall. I'd already begun grieving her loss as I edited her college application essays around Christmas time, because all but one of her top school choices were far-flung.

At the Good Friday service yesterday, I got amazing news: she's decided to attend a great Ivy-League school right here in Philly--University of Pennsylvania! As I hugged her and cried happy tears, I said, "I was willing to let you go, but I'm just so happy for me that you're staying!"

I also recently got a very exciting incentive to push hard to complete revisions: one of those out-of-nowhere this-must-be-divine-intervention things. I can't say any more about it now. But watch out, chapters 10 and 11--you will be getting a hard thrashing! And chapters 12-20 will continue their strict weight-loss regimen that I've been attending to this week.

Have a joyful Easter, friends!

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Will write for prizes

Great minds think alike? Sarah at Fallen Formulates Fiction is also holding a writing contest to celebrate hitting a followers milestone. Choose from a list of six writing prompts, write a flash fiction piece (up to 750 words) and submit it by Friday, March 26 for a chance to win some pretty fabulous prizes. Read about the details HERE.

If you need a little more lead time, my Eleventy-one Followers Celebration Writing Contest has a deadline of Sunday, April 4. Submit a dialogue-driven piece, up to 700 words, that involves negotiation and persuasion. Novel excerpts are fine, if they can stand alone. The genre and content is up to you. I only ask that you keep it clean: Please no erotica, horror or R-rated language. I'm giving away critiques or copy editing (I edit professionally for a scholarly journal), as well as some pretty awesome books. Click HERE for more details.

And don't forget my microfiction challenge! It's a fun way to join the ranks of the published!

Are you considering my contest, but feel a little low on ideas? Would some writing prompts help get the juices flowing?

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