Look at the Bright Side

I've mentioned a few times lately how busy work has been lately. 
Busy as in 12 - 16 hour days nearly every day.
Busy as in weekends being worked
Busy as in most my spending money is still accounted for (usually its 2/3rds gone by this time each month) 

Mike keeps telling me to be positive and hopefully things will slow down soon.  So I've been trying to look on the bright side of things - here are a few blessings I can account for over the last few months
- An old developer wearing a superman cape rehired to come save me from this mess we're in!(He's not really wearing a cape, but in my head he is)
- My mom who spends lots of time with my kids each week - feels good to know I'm leaving them in her hands.
- A brother who buys me lunch and closes the door to my office to let me cry when I suffer a little breakdown.
- A dad who comes through the secret back door of my office each morning to check on me.
- A sister who drops everything to come tend for me at a moments notice
- And mostly - a husband who has stepped up beyond belief the last few months.  He's stayed home from work so I could go in, come home from work early, let me cry (which I rarely do until this last month) and hugs me, offers development advise and help to make my life easier. Has become MR. MOM and does EVERYTHING for the boys these days.  He came home tonight and CLEANED the wreck of my house.  Brings home dinner and plays with the kids. 

As I finished up an evening of work I walked into my room to find my three guys laying in bed, all with their ipads in hand (yes they all 3 have one) playing a lego game (its like a slot machine).  All looking to see what the other had gotten and trying to beat each other. 

When times get tough I try to remember this:

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The Important Things...

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I can't believe its been 20 days since my last post.  This month has been a rough month.  My work has gotten extremely busy and there has been no time to do anything else.  My house is a wreck, my kids don't know who I am anymore, and my sewing room - well that's a whole other story - there are probably cobwebs steaming the room by now. 

I had to travel for work this week - I spent the week before at work - literally - one shift was a full 24 hour shift, going on about 40 hours with no sleep.  I went in early, stayed late and came home with my laptop attached to me.  Mike said one morning as I was getting ready - with the laptop sitting on the bathroom counter "I can't wait for the next week to be over". 

It has been warm here and as I left town the trees were starting to bud and blossom.  By the time I came home at 1am this morning I could see the streets lined with white blossoms - the trees have all bloomed in a few short days.

Mike informed me this morning that Sam no longer says "I do" but now says "yes" when you ask him a yes/no question.  It made me sad this morning as he said yes to me because in a few days he has grown up.  He talks clearer, he has turned into Jake's shadow and is growing up. 

Today I worked from home as I have been gone all week.  Whit, Marta, and Benj came over for lunch and it was so fun to watch the 3 boys play together.  Sam would come running inside and grab me to follow him out and push him on the swing.  An hour later he did the same thing to get the tball equipment out, an hour later we jumped on the trampoline.  We laid on the tramp for a minute and he pointed at the sun, told me the sky was blue and clouds were white.  We played ring around the trampoline and I'm gonna get you.

Mike has turned into Disneyland dad - cleaning the house, taking care of the kids trying to relieve any stress he can for me. 

After the last few weeks I have to sit back and think of what is really important.  Not work or the money it brings in.  But the family I have at home.  The changes my little ones make each day and the idea that they won't be small forever.  The wonderful husband and best friend I have at home.  The help and support I get from my family.  The important things in life are what make it all worth while.

The Quilt Store and the Liquor Store

Ever had one of those days?  Yesterday was a rough day .... I feel a pattern here.

I work from home on Thursdays - and it is turning out to be a challenge.  Sam had recently decided he doesn't like his crib.  As in SCREAMING hysterically anytime you walk into his room when its close to nap time or bed time.  If I lay him in his crib with his bottle and blankets he starts screaming and throws everything out of the crib.  I leave him to cry it out - yet he doesn't ever stop crying.  HOURS could pass.  HOURs I tell you!  He gets louder with time - he never lays down to fall asleep.  Just stands there screaming. 

Anyways - yesterday in an effort to get him to sleep so I could get some work done we went for a ride.  My thoughts were to run a quick errand and hit the quilt store.  I need a bella solid white charm pack.  So we drove out to Material Girls - they didn't have any - so I continued onward to Pine Needles at Gardner Village.  All the while - Sam was WIDE AWAKE in the back seat.  Mind you - I was in sweats - Jake was dressed, but had chocolate all over his sleeves (he uses his sleeves as a napkin) and Sam was in his pjs and no shoes.  (We don't get dressed on Thursdays).  I was thinking by the time I got to Pine Needles he'd be sound asleep - I already had the charm packs on hold - I could pull right up front, run in and buy them leaving the kids in the car.  Which of course didn't happen.  Jake had to pee, Sam was wide awake - so we all hit the village running.  I'm sure people looked at me like I was an unfit mother.  Kids not dressed, no shoes for Sam, no makeup for mom...it was a pretty picture. 

I got the charm packs, got the kids in the car and sat there thinking - I need to start drinking.  The liquor store was going to be my next stop.  What else can a mom do?  I'm overwhelmed with mothering the kids, cleaning my house (or not cleaning my house in my case), clothes piling up to be folded, a full time job, a quilting job on the side, and actually taking a minute for me?  (which I'm using to blog instead of sew).  I mean drinking has got to be my only alternative right?  So the quilt store and the liquor store...it was going to be my next stop.  We drove around the parking lot and I saw the bakery....cookies, eclairs - oh a coke in a can.... so I ran in and loaded up (do you think I'm an emotional eater??? ummmm something to think about).  I had a coke and an eclair.  Jake and Sam had some honey boys, I even picked up a maple bar for Mike.  We were all happy - so I guess I could forget about the liquor store.  My need for coke and eclairs saved me from becoming a drunken mom.  Who knew emotional eating could save us all? 

BTW - Jake fell asleep on the way home - SAM not so much....HELP ME!!!

Morning People

My sister-in-law Melanie and I (Happy Birthday Mel!) have been TRYING to be morning people.  We both are not -- AT ALL.  But with me carrying around my baby weight (can I still call it that 14 months after giving birth?) and Mel wanting to get back to her pre baby body (she's dang close) we have attempted to hit a 5:45 AM Jazzercise class.  Yes Jazzercise!  Let's just say its a struggle for both of us. 

What amazes me is all the people at the gym at this time - everyday!  I wonder how they do it?  I know I'm not the only mom with kids tha don't sleep through the night.  I'm not the only mom who has to sneak out of my own bed so I don't wake up the 1 year old sleeping next to me.  I know I'm not the only mom who stays up late working on projects. (Or am I?)  So how come I can't get my butt out of bed every morning?  How do these people do this daily? 

I have to say - I felt like a real mom since beginning my early morning adventure.  Went to workout, came home and jumped in bed with a sleeping Jake to wake him up for his first day of school.  We snuggled and talked for a bit, before making a warm breakfast of eggs and bacon.  We than took our time getting ready for school, watch a cartoon or two, and went off to school happy.  Isn't it odd that I didn't feel like a mom until I was up making breakfast for my kid to go to school?  I think I've been a mom all along, but something about sending my kid to school made it more official.  Odd I know. 

Jazzercise classes may come and go - but I do think starting my day off with a little workout and a happy kid off to school might be the way to go about this life I'm leading.  I can't guarantee that I'll wake up happy, or that I won't need a nap by noon, but I'm gonna try to keep this workout a live!  I may even one day become a morning person.....but probably not.