Holy Moses - Finished with the Dogs (1987)

Previously on OPIUM HUM:
Holy Moses - Walpurgisnight (1986)

Classic German thrash. Tight, ripping, and weird. The German thrash scene in the 80s was unmatched, and Finished with the Dogs is one of the best albums it produced. And thanks everyone for your thoughts re: modern thrash. Looks like I'm finally gonna have to check out Vektor.

Track listing:
1. Finished with the Dogs
2. Current of Death
3. Criminal Assault
4. In the Slaughterhouse
5. Fortress of Desperation
6. Six Fat Women
7. Corroded Dreams
8. Life's Destroyer
9. Rest in Pain
10. Military Service

On that prickly cactus there
Two mosquitos makin' love
In the heat, a man in sight
His teeth are shining - they kiss his heinie

You should also listen to:

Assassin -
Interstellar Experience (1988)

Grinder -
Dawn for the Living (1988)

White Zombie - Make Them Die Slowly (1989)

Previously on OPIUM HUM:
White Zombie - Gods on Voodoo Moon (1985) Pig Heaven (1986) Psycho Head Blowout (1986) + God of Thunder (1989)

White Zombie's second full-length, the Bill Laswell-produced Make Them Die Slowly was, as they say, a transitional record. It splits the difference between Soul-Crusher's noise-sludge trash-art and La Sexorcisto's psychedelic groove metal, landing in territory that didn't really make anyone happy -- including White Zombie, who were dissatisfied with it before it even came out. Except for a 13-year-old me, of course, who bought the cassette under the false assumption that it contained the song I'd heard on the radio, then nonetheless listened to it on repeat all summer.

Track listing:
1. Demon Speed
2. Disaster Blaster
3. Murderworld
4. Revenge
5. Acid Flesh
6. Power Hungry
7. Godslayer

Doomsday for all the beautiful people

You might also enjoy:

Fudge Tunnel -
Hate Songs in E Minor (1991)

Therapy? -
Suicide Pact - You First (1999)

Original Sin - Sin Will Find You Out (1987)

Satanic, femme-powered speed/thrash metal. By the time you read this, I will be on a houseboat on Lake Shasta, getting hammered and hopefully blaring this record or one like it.

Track listing:
1. Conjuration of the Watcher
2. The Curse
3. To the Devil a Daughter
4. A Slice of Finger (Instrumental)
5. Bitches from Hell
6. The Succubus
7. Pandora's Box
8. Thunder War (Instrumental)
9. Enchantress of Death
10. Disease Bombs

A demon seed enters a womb of corruption
Breeding a satanic spell
A sickening concussion, a newborn eruption
A demon, a terror from hell

You'd also like:

Kat -
Metal and Hell (1986)

Exorcist -
Nightmare Theatre (1986)

Post Mortem - Coroners Office (1986)

Raw, sloppy US thrash. Elements of crossover, speed metal, and even a touch of doom. For all of your morbid moshing needs.

Track listing:
1. Armies of the Dead
2. Waiting for the Funeral
3. Ready to Die
4. No Time
5. Concealed
6. (It Was) Just a Thought
7. Syncopated Jazz
8. Soupy Sales
9. Coroners Office
10. Death to the Masses
11. I Want to Die
12. Run Amok

Putrid gasterous juices amongst the bloody bowels
Carving choice selections and licking off the towel

You'll also like:

Kat -
Metal and Hell (1986)

Gehennah -
Hardrocker (1995)

Grinder - Dawn for the Living (1988)

Kickass German thrash. Very few frills, even less dynamics, hella riffs, killer solos.

Track listing:
1. Obsession
2. Dawn for the Living
3. Sinners Exile
4. Magician
5. Frenzied Hatred
6. Dying Flesh
7. Delirium
8. Traitor
9. F.O.A.D.

A bit more violent
A lot more mean

You should also listen to:

Whiplash -
Ticket to Mayhem (1987)

Forbidden -
Forbidden Evil (1988)

Holy Moses - Walpurgisnight (1986)

Raw, ass-kicking German speed/thrash. As you can tell from that amazing artwork Walpurgisnight is a demo -- most of which got re-recorded for their first proper album -- but that def doesn't stop it from being one of my favorite releases from the band's over 35 years (!) worth of music.

Track listing:
1. Intro
2. Walpurgisnight
3. Burning Rest
4. Torches for Hire
5. Queen of Siam
6. Death Bells
7. Heavy Metal

High priestess sinks the knife into your guts

If you like this, give these a spin:

Exorcist -
Nightmare Theatre (1986)

Kat -
Metal and Hell (1986)

Whiplash - Ticket to Mayhem (1987)

I'm back from Christmas land. Bummer. But here's some killer US thrash/speed metal. Ticket to Mayhem steers clear of anything political or otherwise un-fun, in favor of pure, riff-tastic, solo-packed, headbang-inducing, mindless violence.

Track listing:
1. Perpetual Warfare
2. Walk the Plank
3. Last Nail in the Coffin
4. Drowning in Torment
5. Burning of Atlanta
6. Eternal Eyes
7. Snake Pit
8. Spiral of Violence
9. Respect the Death
10. Perpetual Warfare

Thousands will die
And there's no telling why

You'll also wanna hear:

Kat -
Metal and Hell (1986)

Razor -
Open Hostility (1991)

Kat - Metal and Hell (1986)

Classic debut of headbanging, nad-pumping, Satanic metal from one of Poland's finest exports. If you don't like this, you're just pretending to like metal and you should leave the hall immediately.

Track listing:
1. Metal and Hell
2. Killer
3. Time of Revenge
4. Devil's House, Part I
5. (You Got Me) Vampire
6. Devil's Child
7. Black Hosts
8. Oracle
9. Devil's House, Part III
10. 666

Truth is black metal

More for your nads:

Exorcist -
Nightmare Theatre (1986)

Tyrant -
Too Late to Pray (1987)

Exorcist - Nightmare Theatre (1986)

Occult speed metal with proto-black metal tendencies. Yup, it's a lot like Venom. It's campy, the solos are fucking bananas, the vocals are badass and multifaceted, and there's some sort of overarching story about witchcraft going on. There's a bit of a mid-album lag, but stick around for "Lucifer's Lament". For some reason -- possibly the album cover -- this record always makes me want to watch Return of the Living Dead.

Track listing:
1. Black Mass
2. The Invocation
3. Burn Offerings
4. The Hex
5. Possessed
6. Call for the Exorcist
7. Death by Bewitchment
8. The Trial
9. Execution of the Witches
10. Consuming Flames of Redemption
11. Megawatt Mayhem
12. Riding to Hell
13. Queen of the Dead
14. Lucifer's Lament
15. The Banishment

Do you wanna paaaaaaaaartay!?