Reggie and the Full Effect - Greatest Hits '84-'87 (1999)

To start, I'd like to share the crooked path that I took last night to listening to Greatest Hits '84-'87 for the first time in a number of years: A contestant named Suzanne Goldlust, who I'm arbitrarily routing for, wins Jeopardy! (I'm a few episodes behind) → Start singing "Susanne" by Weezer → Go to the kitchen to make brownies, listen to "Susanne" → "I Just Threw Out the Love of My Dreams" → Return of the Rentals → "Holiday" by the Get Up Kids → Greatest Hits '84-'87.

I was 17, a junior in high school, and had been dating this girl for over a year -- which in high school relationship time is practically a lifetime -- when she cheated on me, then dumped me before school, in the rain, on her birthday. After a couple weeks of me crying, writing terrible poetry, and generally moping around, my Mom took me to Record and Tape Traders and told me she'd buy me a CD of my choice, hoping to cheer me up. I had heard some of Greatest Hits '84-'87, and even though my initial reaction had been to hate it, when I saw it on the shelf, it called to me.

Friends, this record completely turned me around. It didn't just speak to my broken heart, my insecurities, and my profound teenage yearning: it translated them into the biggest, brightest, catchiest hooks I'd ever heard. (Kinda like that line about cocaine in Walk Hard: "It turns all your bad feelings into good feelings!") The language, which clearly was simplistic by design -- all "girl"s and "boy"s and "you"s and "heart"s and "never"s and "run away"s -- made it even more potent, as did the rich, shimmering synths, which sounded lifted directly from "Friends of P". Plus there were a bunch of dumb, fun sketches. I became obsessed, and played it over and over at home and in my friends' cars, as we all came to memorize and sing along to every goddamn word. Thus began our emo phases.

Some less personal background info for those who don't already know: Reggie and the Full Effect is the emo-power pop solo project of James Dewees, who played in Coalesce (that's him on drums), the Get Up Kids, and a bunch of other bands. Greatest Hits '84-'87 is, obviously, a joke name, as it was recorded in 1998 with two other Get Up Kids, then released the following year. It's the project's first album. Dewees is punker, cooler, and nicer than you. This record usually sounds cloying/grating to new listeners, and I get it. It's still my heart.

P.S. Thanks everyone for all the kind words on my last post. It truly means a lot to me, even coming from (sometimes anonymous) strangers on the internet.

Track listing:

1. Drunk Guy at the Get Up Kids Show

2. Girl, Why'd You Run Away?

3. Fiona Apple Can Kiss My Black Ass

4. What's Wrong?

5. Props to the Queen of Pop A.K.A. Keep on Climbin' That Velvet Rope Baby

6. Your Girlfriends Hate Me

7. Megan Is My Friend to the Max

8. My Dad - Happy Chickens (Kirksta Party-to-Go Mix)

9. Another Runaway Song

10. Drunk Guy Talks Chemicals to Us at the Get Up Kids Show

11. Your Boyfriend Hates Me

12. Pick Up the Phone Master P

13. Where's Your Heart?

14. Get to the Choppa

15. Better for You

16. Everything's Okay

17. Just a Reminder

18. Brandi's Birthday Song

So long

I finally figured out what was wrong

You should also listen to:

that dog. - Totally Crushed Out! (1995)

Tony Molina - Dissed and Dismissed (2013)

The Smoking Popes - Get Fired (1993)

Brilliant first album by one of the most distinctive pop punk bands to ever grace our dumb world. The Smoking Popes never really fit the pop punk label, as their vocalist has a somewhat arch, sarcastic croon akin to that of Morrissey, and their dynamic, rough-around-the-edges songs have more in common with bands like Dinosaur Jr. than Green Day. This is probably why I never dug them back in the day, and have only learned to love them over the past few years as a jaded middle-aged crank.

Track listing:

1. Let's Hear It for Love

2. That's Where I Come In

3. Let Them Die

4. Double Fisted Love

5. Don't Be Afraid

6. Can't Find It

7. Off My Mind

8. Not That Kind of Girlfriend

9. Days Just Wave Goodbye

Let's hear it for letting someone totally ruin your life

You'd probably also enjoy:

Sloan - Smeared (1993)

The Muffs - Alert Today Alive Tomorrow (1999)

The Muffs - Alert Today Alive Tomorrow (1999)

Previously on OPIUM HUM:
The Muffs - Happy Birthday to Me (1997)

RIP to Kim Shattuck, one of the greatest songwriters ever to grace the world of pop punk. Here's The Muffs' excellent, bittersweet fourth album, in which they largely stick to their established sound while branching out juuuust a bit -- there are a couple of ballads, and "Dear Liar Love Me" is pretty fucking weird. Thanks for all the great music, Kim.

Track listing:
1. I Wish That I Could Be You
2. Silly People
3. Another Ugly Face
4. Prettier Than Me
5. Clown
6. Your Kiss
7. Numb
8. I'm Not Around
9. Blow Your Mind
10. Room with No View
11. Dear Liar Love Me
12. In
13. Jack Champagne

Until you hate you will never know what love is
Until that day you will never feel a thing

You should also hear:

The Queers -
Love Songs for the Retarded (1993)

Matthew Sweet -
Kimi Ga Suki (Raifu) (2003)

The Muffs - Happy Birthday to Me (1997)

Pretty much perfect SoCal power-pop-punk. Simple, old-school rock 'n' roll chord progressions shot through with thick alt rock guitars and punk energy, and carried by vocalist Kim Shattuck's gravelly yet sugary-sweet delivery. Think a snottier Weezer, circa Blue Album. It kinda seems like someone with good taste at Reprise tried really hard to make The Muffs famous -- I first heard them on the Angus soundtrack, they were also featured in Clueless and a few others -- but the world just wasn't ready, I guess.

Track listing:
1. Crush Me
2. That Awful Man
3. Honeymoon
4. All Blue Baby
5. My Crazy Afternoon
6. Is It All Okay?
7. Pennywhore
8. Outer Space
9. I'm a Dick
10. Nothing
11. Where Only I Could Go
12. Upside Down
13. You and Your Parrot
14. Keep Holding Me
15. The Best Time Around / New Jazz Daddy-O [hidden track]

And I will read your mind instead
And I could tell you that you are very dead

You'd probably also dig:

The Queers -
Love Songs for the Retarded (1993)

that dog. -
Totally Crushed Out! (1995)

The Queers - Love Songs for the Retarded (1993)

Keeping the high school favorites train rolling with some of the greatest, catchiest pop-punk ever made. I'll admit that, as a grown-ass man, some of the un-PC shit makes me cringe a little, but if punk's not about starting an offensively-named band and playing songs called "I Hate Everything" and "I Can't Stop Farting", I don't know what it's about. Plus, "Fuck the World" and "Debra Jean" belong in the pop-punk hall of fame.

Track listing:
1. You're Tripping
2. Ursula Finally Has Tits
3. I Hate Everything
4. Teenage Bonehead
5. Fuck the World
6. I Can't Stop Farting
7. Feeling Groovy
8. Debra Jean
9. Hi Mom, It's Me!
10. Noodlebrain
11. I Can't Stand You
12. Night of the Livid Queers
13. Granola-Head
14. I Won't Be
15. Monster Zero
16. Daydreaming

Well, I was walking down the street
With my head held high
Thinking everything was alright
When a big fat bird came and shit on my head

Also listen to:

Alice Donut -
Bucketfulls of Sickness and Horror in
an Otherwise Meaningless Life (1989)

Tony Molina -
Dissed and Dismissed (2013)

Crusades - Perhaps You Deliver This Judgement with Greater Fear Than I Receive It (2013)

Dark Canadian pop punk. Sorrowful, minor-key arrangements that build to genuinely catchy, memorable choruses and a few straight-up metal leads. Top it off with full, warm production, and we're looking at one of the very few pop punk albums to catch my attention since high school.

Track listing:
1. Exordium
2. The Torchbearer
3. The Signs of the Times
4. The Shadow of Ideas
5. The Incantations
6. The Transport of Intrepid Souls
7. The Heroic Frenzies
8. The Expulsion
9. The Art of Memory
10. Exitus

Malice

Give these a listen, too:

The Fits - You're Nothing,
You're Nowhere (1982)

Royal Headache -
Royal Headache (2011)