Wo-wa

Last Saturday when the little girls were at our house Elise kept asking, "Wo-wa go?"  She'd look so perplexed and extend her little arms out, palms up. She was wondering where are family friend, Laura, was.







We invite Laura to our Sunday Night Family Dinners (yep, these dinners are so special, I use capital letters) because we've enveloped her into our family. She has a lovely family and is most definitely not lacking in that way. They live out of state, though, so we like to be her family-away-from-family.


We don't want her to be lonely, plus, she just fits in and we enjoy her so much. I think Elise believes that she lives here.

Anyway, today is Laura's birthday! Happy Day to you, Laura!

We actually celebrated her day on Sunday by going out to eat together. Except that Elise wasn't feeling well, it was a nice evening.

Eric told us that Cordelia spent a good deal of time planning her outfit for the party. She was quite beautiful!


We have only cell phone photos to share, but they are better than none at all.

Anyway, we just want to say Happy Birthday to our friend and pseudo family member, Laura.

Hope your day is wonderful!

A Healing Purpose?

(This photo has nothing to do with this post.  I just liked it.  

The painting in the background is by my talented mother.)

Last week at work I re-met a lady whom I'd met last year while working at hospice.  Last week she was just accompanying someone who was in for a colonoscopy.  Last year she was at the bedside of a young woman who had suffered a sudden event and was sent from the emergency room to our hospice home.  Over the course of a few days she'd gone from independent living to being on her death bed.  I was with her and her family as she breathed her last.  I was the one who said those sad words, "Time of death...."

At the surgical center where I now work I am finding that I often meet people from my past jobs.  I guess that isn't surprising as this is not a metropolis.  Working at hospice I often got to know patients and family members over an extended period of time.  Even further back, as a chemotherapy nurse, I developed friendships with patients and their families that often spanned a number of months or even years.  Actually, that was one of my favorite parts about those jobs.  Many of those patients gave more to me than I ever gave to them.

My concern, now, is the effect seeing me has on the survivors.  I am seeing them at a time when they are likely a bit nervous as they are coming to our center for a procedure.  They are vulnerable.  Then, in I walk.  Does it give them comfort to have someone they already know enter their room?  Maybe.  I am happy to see them and greet them with joy, but I know that the sight of me represents painful memories as well.  That doesn't make me happy but it is what it is.

As I thought about this, wondering how I could make it easier on my current patients, I realized I may be looking at it all wrong.  Maybe these meetings are a time when I'm supposed to offer something of a healing presence.  Do you suppose that I can say or do something that helps them through their grief?  Maybe just knowing that I remember their loved one, cared about their loved one, sometimes even still mourn their loss myself could be healing for them.  I don't know.

Yesterday a patient came in who was a family member to one of my previous patients... a nurse herself who became a friend and mentor to me, even as I cared for her.  I gave her chemotherapy over the course of several years.  I loved her!  When I saw her family member, I knew they would know me.  My friend/patient had kept my photograph on her refrigerator and had included me in some of her family events.  Since her death, though, I'd only seen her family a few times.

I prayed before I entered his room.  I wanted to help him face his procedure.  I did NOT want to cause him pain.  So, I went in smiling.  We hugged.  We talked.  I tried to pay attention to what he might need to hear.  Finally, I felt he needed to hear me say some of what she had meant to me.  I told him how I still go to her grave site sometimes to pray.  I told him I still think of her.  I still miss her.

THEN, we moved on.  We talked of his life now, four years after his loss.  We talked of his family.  We talked of the future.  I think it was good.  I realized then, that maybe these meetings could be more than just painful reminders to people.  Maybe they could have a healing purpose.  Maybe that healing is for me, as well as for them.  I don't know.  

"Grandpa, You're My Friend Boy!"

Maria and Eric and our beautiful granddaughters, Elise and Cordelia, came over last night.  We love that we have the opportunity to be around our granddaughters as much as we do!

Not long ago, while visiting at my Mom's a few hours away, Cordelia got two of her teenage cousins to play with her, directing them on a dinosaur hunt.  Not long after that I found a bag of little dinosaurs and sparked an idea.  I bought the dinosaurs so that we could start a new tradition at our house.  You guessed it, Cordelia goes dinosaur hunting.  Now, Cordy is a vegan so I want to make it very clear that when she hunts dinosaurs, it is not with a bow and arrow or a gun.  It is just about the hunt... just finding them.

So, this is how it works.  We all take turns, as directed by Cordy, either hiding the little dinosaurs or hunting for them later.  This is repeated over and over.... and over some more.  She really, really enjoys this game!  Mike got a little creative with his hiding...

Maria held Elise, who I think is anxiously awaiting the day she can join in.

A few members of the family were more interested in the football game than the dinosaur hunt.

  

I won't be naming any names, though.     

Mike is such a patient and fun grandpa.

I heard Cordelia say, "Grandpa, you're my friend boy!"

New Job Day!

I have been kind of quiet about my career swerve since mentioning that I resigned my position at Hospice.  I've been feeling like a quitter.  The last two weeks, after I gave my resignation, have been rather brutal.  I'm not talking about the patients. I love, love working with hospice patients!  I also enjoyed working with some very wonderful co-workers.  The long hours (sometimes 14 or even more) and the increasing patient load were just a bit much for me.  OK, they were a LOT much for me.    I don't know if it is because I have Crohn's that I seem to get more worn out but I'm going to use that excuse.

Anyway, it is time that I look forward.  I will be working at a surgical center.  I will not be working the long shifts.  I will be home on week-ends.  I will get to start a lot of IV's (yes, don't be scare of me but I do like starting IV's), and I will get to calm and reassure people.  I have a dear friend who already works there and I look forward to working with her again.  She speaks highly of the other personnel there so I know I am going to meet more friends along the way.  I will have a lot to learn but it will be great!

Here's to new beginnings!

Celebrating our Starter Child

Today marks one of the top most important days in my life.  Our first baby, Maria, was born on this day!  I love remembering how I felt as I saw her for the first time.  Meeting this little person that was a mixture of me and Mike was such a remarkable experience!

Maria was an active baby, a precocious toddler and an advanced child.  I once told Mike that she was like a little adult just trying to pretend to be a child so as to fit in with the other children.  She's always been inquisitive and concerned about the world around her.  She was such a joy to raise!

Maria is a wife and mother herself now.  She's an artist a writer and a teacher.  She's creative and kind and beautiful and loyal and forgiving and honest and she's my friend.  She adores her  brothers, laughs at her Dad's jokes and always makes me feel special.  She's funny and knows how to let loose and be silly.  She has deep compassion.

Although she was our starter child, we must have done something right because she turned out to be someone who makes us so very proud.  I hope she knows that.

I thank God for this lovely woman in my life, my daughter.

My Work Daughter

Yesterday I had a lovely morning visiting with my daughter and my "work daughter".

I work from home now but for quite some time I was working at an oncology clinic. 

I really enjoyed working with that patient population, although I hadn't meant to be an oncology nurse...that's a story for another day.

At the clinic, I worked with some really, really great co-workers.  I developed relationships that sustained me through some pretty rough days, friendships that I still value today.  One of those relationships was especially unexpected.

My first summer at the clinic an unfortunate chain of events occurred one week that left me as the ONLY full-time nurse working in an area that needed a minimum of 3 nurses.  A nurse practitioner came to help part of the time, but she wasn't used to working in that area and she had her own responsibilities that she kept having to go do as well.

I was frantic!

It was that week that a new nurse came to work there.

She was in her early 20's and as desperate as I was for help, I admit that I was disappointed to see such a young face arrive.  I'd hoped for someone more experienced, preferably someone with chemotherapy experience.  

Well, as they say, don't judge a book by its cover!

Her name is Kerry and as it turned out, she was like an angel sent from heaven that week.  All I had to do was show her something one time and she was able to remember it.  She was also incredible at taking the initiative and noticing things that needed done without even being told.  She was fearless!  That is not easy when you are thrown into a new situation, especially one as busy as that! 

I'm a middle-aged woman.  It feels weird to even write that because in my head I've not yet grasped that whole middle-aged thing.  Nevertheless, there it is.

This young nurse, Kerry, became one of my best friends.  We don't really have that much in common, I suppose, but somehow we just clicked.  I really came to admire her for her spunk, her intelligence and her nurse's heart.  I also felt very protective of her. 

I worried when Kerry had to face the reality of enduring the death of patients.  We would often get very close to our patients, which was great, but it made a loss all the more painful.  She was so young to have to withstand this heartache so frequently.  One day we were talking about that.  We are both people of faith and I made some comment about when we get to heaven we will know a lot of people.  Kerry was quiet for a moment and then smiled a little smile and said, "Yeah, we'll be the popular girls!"  I knew then she also possessed a quiet strength well beyond her years.

Somewhere along the way, after hearing me speak of "Kerry this" and "Kerry that", my own daughter (who is actually older than Kerry) said that Kerry was like my "work daughter".  It was kind of funny and we often referred to her as that from then on.  Kerry has a lovely mother who is my age.  She's close to her mom and had no "mom void" to fill.  I also have a relationship with my daughter that is beyond anything I ever imaged.  I had no void to fill either.  But nevertheless, a small part of our friendship probably is a bit like mother and daughter.  However it is defined, thinking of Kerry  makes me smile.

One day recently, Kerry asked if I could try to crochet a hat for her baby daughter.  She wanted it to have the look of an owl.  I wasn't sure that I could do it but gave it a try.  Since that day, Maria and I have made many, many hats to sell either on our shop site or at craft fairs or to any shop that wants to carry them.  We are having so much fun making these hats,  making them up as we go.  I thank Kerry for getting us started!

Yesterday Kerry and her two kids came by and posed for me with their new hats.

Shane as a bear.

Shane as a very serious bear.

Riley, probably wondering why this lady

is making her wear a hot hat on a warm August day!

Eternal God, before Your Throne

Eternal God, before your throne we bend,

Your grace to seek, your holy name to bless;

Our grateful hearts in humble praise ascend

To you whose ways are truth and righteousness.

With all the host of heaven we adore

Your matchless holy love forevermore!

Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior and our friend,

Whom angels praise before the throne on high:

How vast your love, to love us to the end

And on the cruel cross to bleed and die!

O blest Redeemer, hear your children pray;

O Lamb of God, take all our sins away!

O Holy Spirit, truth and peace divine,

Descend to us in all your saving pow'r,

And kindle flames of love and faith to shine

Within our yearning hearts this sacred hour!

Make plain the Father's will, the Savior's love,

And fit us all to dwell with you above.

Text:  Ernest E. Ryden,, born 1886

Tune: Carl W. Landahl, 1908-1961

Maria - My Daughter, My Friend

Maria Rose was our starter child and today we are celebrating her.  She is named after Mike's Grandma Maria and my Grandma Rose.  Mike's grandma was Norwegian and we used her pronounciation for the name so it is pronounced like Mariah. 

I should have been posting this on April 2 but Maria was 16 days late folks!  I'm sure that had something to do with her 9 lb. 2 oz. birth weight.  She was also 22 1/2" long!  I kind of felt like we missed her infancy as she was born wanting to get on with it!  She seemed to think she could walk right out of the womb!  She hated being treated like a baby and wanted upright at all times.  She was walking several steps by  7 months and anywhere she wanted by 8 months.  She potty-trained early, talked early and a lot, and pretty much just set an advanced pace for herself throughout her early life.

Even as a little kid, Maria always seemed to be older than she was.  I once commented to Mike, while we watched her with other children, that she seemed to be a little adult trying to pretend she was a child! 

Already as a child Maria was pretty insightful as well.  Once, when she was about 3rd grade, we were visiting at the home of one of my friends.  My friend had a teenage daughter who was getting pretty sassy to her Mom and I watched Maria really taking it all in.  On the way home Maria discussed it and declared her disgust at the girl's behavior.  She ended saying, "I hope I never act like that to you, Mom!"  Then a bit later, "But if I do, will you just remember that it is a stage I am going through?"

Maria was a fun child to raise!  She learned things quickly, had in inquisitive mind and a let-me-try-it spirit.   She's always had a love of laughter and a good sense of humor.  OK, some of her jokes were pretty bad but I just blame that on her father.  She can't be held accountable for what genetics did to her!  And as she points out, she went through some awkward phases...again, genetics, but I'm not saying which side.

Not only did we get the joy of parenting Maria, we have loved watching her come into her own as an adult.  She is very good at being married, truly giving and supportive of Eric, as he is for her.  And as a mother, I've never seen anyone so tender.  It is truly a beautiful thing to watch her with her own daughter.

I'm just trying to say that I am so very grateful for the gift Maria has been to our family.  Words seem kind of inadequate so let me just show you...

(photo by James Strate - used without permission, hope you don't mind, Jim!)

(This photo by E.K. Wimmer,also used without permission but I'm sure he would've given permission had I asked.)

(Another photo stolen outright from E.K. Wimmer.)

(OK, so I used this E.K. Wimmer without permission as well.  We gave him our daughter, though, so I doubt he will press charges.  I'm pretty sure he won't.  I really don't think he will...)

This daughter of our's has been and continues to be such a joy to us.

The truth is, sometimes I look at her and just marvel at her beauty, inside and out.

Happy Birthday to My Daughter, My Friend!