Only now does it occur to me... BLOWN AWAY (1994)

Only now does it occur to me... I can show you what you need to know about Stephen Hopkins' BLOWN AWAY better than I can tell you. In short, it's a delirious slice of mid-90s madness, as if PATRIOT GAMES and SPEED were ground together into mélange of Jeff Bridges running in vain toward slo-mo explosions, the absolute worst Irish accents ever put to film, and a sensibility that screams "Bruckheimer," though no Bruckheimers were involved in this project. It was ahead of its time.

But first, a few clips, with very little context.

The first, I call: "Forest Whitaker Fails to Notice an Extremely Conspicuous Tommy Lee Jones."

Here, Forest is jogging up a Boston staircase and is so zoned out to the beautiful strains of U2 that he does not notice Tommy Lee Jones––in the busiest Jesus t-shirt ever worn––taping him with a camcorder from six inches away.

The second, I call: "Tommy Lee Jones Is Suspiciously Protective of His Crab Bag."


Here, he simultaneously creeps out and amuses Suzy Amis, who has never seen crab puppet theater performed on a public beach.

The final clip, I call: "Tommy Lee Jones Drunken Dance Mania."

While in some ways this is of a piece with "Ed Harris Dance Mania in CREEPSHOW," the intent is more along the lines of "Ted Levine/'Goodbye Horses' in SILENCE OF THE LAMBS." I have excised the footage of Jeff Bridges wandering around the cobwebb'd periphery of Jones' lair in this clip because it did not involve Tommy Lee Jones drunkenly rocking out to, yes, the exact same U2 song that Forest Whitaker was listening to in Clip #1.

I believe I have now informed you of all you need to know about BLOWN AWAY, and you may carry on.

Film Review: EYES OF LAURA MARS (1978, Irvin Kershner)

Stars: 3.5 of 5.

Running Time: 104 minutes.

Notable Cast or Crew:  Faye Dunaway (NETWORK, BONNIE & CLYDE), Tommy Lee Jones (ROLLING THUNDER, THE PARK IS MINE!), Raul Julia (THE ADDAMS FAMILY, STREET FIGHTER THE MOVIE), Rene Auberjonois (MCCABE AND MRS. MILLER, THE LITTLE MERMAID), Brad Dourif (CHILD'S PLAY, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST), Darlanne Fluegel (BULLETPROOF, TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A.).  Written by John Carpenter and David Zelag Goodman (STRAW DOGS, LOGAN'S RUN), based on a story by John Carpenter.  Produced by Jon Peters (AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, BATMAN, BATMAN RETURNS).  Cinematography by Victor J. Kemper (DOG DAY AFTERNOON, PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE).  Edited by Michael Kahn (RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, JURASSIC PARK, TRUCK TURNER).  Featuring a soundtrack with selections by Barbara Streisand, Odyssey, KC & the Sunshine Band, Heatwave, and the Michael Zager Band.

Tag-line:  "You can't always believe what you see..."

Best one-liner:  "I'M COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL!"

In familiar, darkened alleyway:

"How about a New York City disco horror-thriller set in the world of high fashion, from the director of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and written by John Carpenter?"
–"Where do I sign up?!"
"Not so fast, buddy.  It's not quite as good as it sounds."
–"Aw, nuts."
"Well, don't despair, either– it strikes a middle ground."
–"So is it like a proto- HALLOWEEN?"
"Not really.  Carpy and 'Kersh (and co-writer David Zelag Goodman) have definitely taken a page from the giallo playbook on this one.  It's got some psychic phenomena, POV weirdness, and a lot of dreamy, Fulci/early Argento-esque setpieces.  It's got a bit of a sleaze factor to it that's very Eurotrash in flavor– or maybe that's just the 1970s."

–"Didn't you say "disco" earlier?"
"Hell yes, I did– this movie has caught a fever: disco fever.  It's the good old days, the popped collar and flared pants days, the studio 54 days, the gold lamé and mountains of cocaine days, the days when a pop song would have a radio edit that was three minutes, and then a full version that lasts for three hours, packed with harpsichord and oboe solos and all sorts of extraneous material."
–"You're exaggerating."
"Well, maybe, but the definite highlights of this film are the morbid high-fashion montage scenes, set to endless versions of classy disco classics like 'Let's All Chant (Your Body, My Body, Everybody Work Your Body)' by the Michael Zager Band and '(Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty' by KC & the Sunshine Band–


which is to say hilariously insane 70s decadence intercut with supernatural danger and car wrecks and models wearing fanny packs and smacking each other with fur coats."

–"Whuttttt?!"
"Well, let me back up a little bit. Let me give you the background. Our hero is Faye Dunaway, who plays 'Laura Mars,' and she's definitely on the cusp of the mind-blowing melodramatic overselling of the MOMMIE DEAREST era.

She's a high-fashion photographer who's known for her macabre and controversial portraiture

but she's been having visions of her friends being murdered– murders that actually end up happening! Then she's confronted by the police with the fact that her photographs eerily mirror actual crime scenes that have been kept from the public."

–"Sounds kinda like a typical giallo.  So whodunit?"
"Like I'm going to tell you, bub.  But let's look at the rogue's gallery of supporting players.  We got a super-young Raul Julia as her drunken ex-husband and a born screw-up,

we got a delightfully intense Tommy Lee Jones as the detective helping to protect her (and a part-time shag-carpet love interest),

we got Rene Auberjonois (who I always just call Rene Aubergy-bergy-wah) as her delightfully fey manager, rocking well-coiffed 70s hair,

we even got Darlanne Flugel as a model-friend of Laura's,

an actress who later carved out a niche as "the female" throughout a ton of great testosterone-soaked 80s action flicks like BULLETPROOF and RUNNING SCARED and LOCKUP and TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A."
–"That's cool.  I likes me some Darlanne Flug–"
"I'm not finished yet.  Last, and definitely not least, we got Brad Dourif."

–"Hot damn!"
"Yeah, he plays Laura's chauffeur, and as you can see, he has a hard time keeping his eyes on the road.

At one point, he says 'You tryin' to take me to fuckin' Bellevue or what?' and it's kind of amazing because there's definitely a touch of Billy Bibbit from ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST to his performance here."
–"Looks like he's givin' it his all."
"Dourif never gives anything less.  Then, we even got Babs Streisand– sort of.  She sings the title theme without ever appearing in the film, which was a first for her.  It's because she was initially going to play Laura Mars.  She dropped out when it got too 'kinky,' which is to say, 'not kinky at all.'"
–"Well, what's the verdict?  Now I'm just confused."
"On the whole, it's not quite a lost Carpy gem, but kind of a classier precursor to Lucio Fulci's New York Trilogy (ZOMBIE, NEW YORK RIPPER, MANHATTAN BABY).  And hey– that's alright with me.  It's also allegedly the basis by which Lucas hired 'Kersh to do THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, so you might even call it the impetus for the best STAR WARS movie.  Three and a half stars."

–Sean Gill

Film Review: BLACK MOON RISING (1986, Harley Cokliss)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 100 minutes.
Tag-line: "From the mind of John Carpenter comes the towering adventure that thunders across Los Angeles and explodes 30 stories above it!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Hamilton, William Sanderson (DEADWOOD, BLADE RUNNER), Don Keith Opper (CRITTERS), Keenan Wynn (ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST), Robert Vaughn (THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN), Bubba Smith (STROKER ACE, POLICE ACADEMY), Richard Jaeckel (DAY OF THE ANIMALS, THE DIRTY DOZEN, and his character's name here is "Earl Windom"– sound familiar, TWIN PEAKS fans?), Nick Cassavetes (FACE/OFF). Music by Lalo Schifrin, written and produced by John Carpenter.
Special note: Despite the video cover saying 'Cannon Films' this was actually a New World Picture, distributed in England on video by Cannon, so it's not actually a Cannon Film.


BLACK MOON RISING is a high-tech thrill ride.




And by that I mean it has lots of lasers, red and black binders, wood paneling, key cards, tinted windows, exclusive parking decks, terminals showing green text on black, and did I mention 'super cars.' The 80's was probably the decade where regular people had the biggest interest in 'super cars.'

And I use the term pretty broadly to reference pretty much everything from KNIGHT RIDER to BACK TO THE FUTURE to BUCKAROO BANZAI to THE WRAITH. I gotta say BLACK MOON RISING's super car, the "Black Moon," kinda comes across as phoning it in. It looks pretty schweet, but I'm not even exactly sure what made it "super." I guess it ran on alternative fuels or something.

Anyway, this film comes courtesy of writer/producer John Carpenter, and frequently has the feel of perhaps a TV pilot based on the Snake Plissken robbery/arrest deleted scene from ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. But, lucky for us, even Carpenter's outtakes and off days are still better than average, so we get a pretty solid flick. We got Lalo Schifrin trying his best to emulate a Carpenter soundtrack (as John was too busy with BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA); Linda Hamilton in some gigantic, crazy wigs;

a perpetually grizzled Tommy Lee Jones as our asshole hero;


the line "I'm gettin' too old for this;" Bubba Smith (POLICE ACADEMY, STROKER ACE) rocking out a mind-blowing 'stache and exuding badassery;

an obligatory spaghetti western style beating of our hero; and awesome bit parts by William Sanderson (BLADE RUNNER), Don Keith Opper (CRITTERS series), douchebag corporate villain Robert Vaughn (THE DELTA FORCE)
and bushy-'stached Keenan Wynn (POINT BLANK).

So it all adds up to yet another enjoyable film from post-Corman New World Pictures (who in the 80's brought us HOUSE, THE STUFF, HEATHERS, HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN, DEAD HEAT, and scads of others). So, in the name of all things high-tech, I must C:\BLACK MOON RISING> assign '4 Stars'... or something like that.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: ROLLING THUNDER (1977, John Flynn)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Written by Paul Schrader and Heywood Gould. Starring William Devane, Tommy Lee Jones, Dabney Coleman, Linda Haynes, cinematography by Jordan Cronenweth (ALTERED STATES, BLADE RUNNER).
Tag-lines: "Major Charles Rane Is Coming Home To War!"
Best one-liner: "Listen Cliff, I hope you don't mind my saying this but I'd sure appreciate it if you didn't call my kid a runt."
Viewed: 8/8/09 at the Anthology Film Archive in NYC as part of a series of unavailable gritty 70's pictures chosen by Bill Lustig (MANIAC!, VIGILANTE, MANIAC COP).

This is not a simple revenge movie, an exploitation picture, nor is it a 'Nam vets gone wild flick. It's an art film- a powerful examination of frustration, memory, and endless brutality. Written by Paul Schrader (and Heywood Gould), the film centers on Schrader's lifelong fascination: in a society that ceaselessly pendulates between stagnancy and violence, how does the individual come to grips with the pain of living? With one's fists? One's guns? One's hook?

ROLLING THUNDER is TAXI DRIVER, BLUE COLLAR, and a touch of MISHIMA wrapped in one, taut package, full of moody natural lighting and potent chiaroscuro visuals (by BLADE RUNNER cinematographer Jordan Cronenweth). And who better to do the packaging than director John Flynn (THE OUTFIT), whose gritty, efficient storytelling and no-nonsense style perfectly suit the film and its themes?

Shielding himself behind mirrored aviator glasses, Charles Rane (William Devane, in one of the best performances of the 70s) is a burned-out husk brimming with Nitroglycerin: he's dead inside and knows it, but he wants to find his place, wants to put on a smile, wants to jam together the puzzle pieces that just don't fit no matter how hard he tries to force them.


A series of events occur, beginning with his homecoming (to a throng of well-wishers whose applause is as vacant as Rane's soul) and ending with the business end of a garbage disposal. Suddenly there are no more choices to be made, and the path has been set out. It's one he's followed before, and now its as simple as "I'll just get my gear."

Johnny Vohden (Tommy Lee Jones in a scary-good role) joins his former Major's quest with obedience and relief, having been equally unable to readjust (with a hilariously unaware, blathering family). It all plays out with a striking lack of standard Hollywood 'emotion' and is so intensely matter-of-fact that it lends itself as frequently to bouts of uncomfortable laughter as it does to recoils of mind-numbing horror. A criminally unavailable American masterpiece.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: UNDER SIEGE (1992, Andrew Davis)

Stars: 3.5 of 5.
Running Time: 103 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Director Andrew Davis (THE FUGITIVE, CODE OF SILENCE, ABOVE THE LAW), Gary Busey, Steven Seagal, Tommy Lee Jones.
Tag-lines: "It's not a job...It's an Adventure! "
Best one-liner: "This little piggy went to market... This little piggy stayed home... And this little piggy... oh, mama... oh, mama... went wee, wee, wee, WEEEEEEEEE...! ALL THE WAY HOME!" [Tommy Lee Jones air-guitars to "The Star-Spangled Banner" as the missile takes off]

As I've said before, the 90's were all about remaking movies and putting them on a boat. Why? Because boats appeal to our vapid 90s sense of fun. Or tragedy. Cause if you need to wipe the slate clean, you can always sink the boat, and that's always high drama. So WHAT ABOUT BOB? becomes CAPTAIN RON, SPEED becomes SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL, LOVE STORY becomes TITANIC, THE ROAD WARRIOR becomes WATERWORLD, and DIE HARD becomes... UNDER SIEGE. And UNDER SIEGE would just be another low caliber DIE HARD rip-off were it not for two key elements: Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey.


More on them in a minute. Now, I'm not opposed to Steven Seagal as a rule, but he just hasn't won me over in the way that, say, Chuck Norris or Carl Weathers have. Maybe that's a character flaw on my part, but it's something we're all just going to have to live with.

Seagal's bland. He may be an asskicker, but he's got the charisma of a dead fish (which I guess is the appeal). Toss Busey and Jones into the mix and it's another story entirely.

Tommy Lee Jones is wearing a studded leather jacket and acting only slightly more restrained than he is as "Two-Face" in BATMAN FOREVER. He calls himself 'the Roadrunner' and says "Mee-meep." Gary Busey is in drag, dancing, and smoking a cigar.

I guarantee you that he personally requested to be in drag. (The pilot episode of I'M WITH BUSEY sheds some light on this.)

He says things like "OutstAInding," "Do I look like I need a psychological evaluation?" and spits in Seagal's soup. This is still not a riveting movie, per se, but Busey and Jones push it over the edge into definite likability. Three and a half stars.

-Sean Gill

Television Review: THE PARK IS MINE! (1986, Steven Hilliard Stern)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 102 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Tommy Lee Jones, Yaphet Kotto (FREDDY'S DEAD, ALIEN, BONE), Peter Dvorsky (VIDEODROME), Helen Shaver (THE OSTERMAN WEEKEND, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR), Carl Marotte (MY BLOODY VALENTINE), Lawrence Dane (DOUBLE JEOPARDY, BEAR ISLAND), and a soundtrack by Tangerine Dream (RISKY BUSINESS, FIRESTARTER, SORCERER, THIEF, THE KEEP).
Tag-lines: "For 72 hours, Central's Park's about to become...Private Property."
Best one-liners: "Those sick sons-of-bitches! They're sending in the Viet Cong to get me!

Holy shit! I didn't know they made TV movies this good ever, much less in 1986! Now, right off the bat, THE PARK IS MINE! gets your attention. It's title isn't even much of a title. It's not even a request. It's a demand.

Now as far as angry 'Nam vet movies, go there are only two categories, and the categories are these: "Totally awesome" (EYE OF THE TIGER, CUTTER'S WAY, FIRST BLOOD) and "Fleshburn" (FLESHBURN). THE PARK IS MINE! falls squarely into the "Totally awesome" category, and for several key reasons. Here are the top ten:

#1. No need for a set-up.

A lesser movie would have taken the premise- "Nam vet takes control of Central Park for 72 hours in order to protest Nam vet treatment" and wasted like 45 minutes with Tommy Lee Jones thinking about doing it, putting his laborious plans into motion, deciding whether or not he should really go through with it, etc. THE PARK IS MINE! is having none of that. Right off the bat- WHAM- we start off with a suicide in a mental hospital. Then- WHAM- Tommy Lee Jones is reading the suicide note of his incarcerated Nam vet buddy- who had a plan to take over Central Park, but knew he couldn't go through with it. He's planted the real bombs, the fake bombs, the booby traps, the barbed wire, the AK-47s- everything Tommy needs- already. So Tommy Lee Jones just has to read the note, take like 5-10 minutes to decide whether or not to do it, and then we're underway, cause everything's immaculately planned.

The only drawback to this is perhaps that we missed out on a kick-ass montage sequence set to some rockin' 80's tunes of Tommy Lee Jones planting all this stuff, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make in the name of fast-paced narrative flow.

#2. Tangerine Dream.

Tangerine Dream turns in one of their all-time best scores here. Gently pulsating Euro-rhythms? Check. A hazy, dreamlike atmosphere? Check. Evocative 80's metropolitan sounds? Check. An ever-so-gradual build in intensity that perfectly compliments the suspense? Check, check, and double-check. The soundtrack is perfect. And this is a TV movie. Stick that in your craw.

#3. Yaphet Kotto.

He's been eaten by the Alien. He's beaten the shit out Freddy Kruger with a ball bat. He's dropped grenades from a cropduster while blasting James Brown in order to help out Gary Busey. He's run alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger on futuristic gladiatorial TV. He's played Othello. He's worked with Paul Schrader, Larry Cohen, and Rod Serling. He's played a Bond villain. He's even been on MURDER, SHE WROTE. And, you know what? You probably don't even know who he is, you sorry sonofabitch. Well, maybe you do. I'm sorry I called you a sonofabitch.

Well, regardless, Kotto here is the classic beleaguered cop who begrudingly begins to respect/earn the respect of the supposed madman he's supposed to be shutting down. Kinda like Tommy Lee Jones in THE FUGITIVE, Vincent Gardenia in DEATH WISH, or Robert Ryan in THE WILD BUNCH. Cliched as it is, I've always like that kind of plot development, and here is no exception. Plus, Yaphet Kotto is a serious badass.

#4. Classic anti-'THE MAN' sentiment.

Even though Tommy Lee Jones hasn't hurt anyone, they say "We got caught with our pants down, and my ass gets cold in the breeze." That's right. A bunch of stuffed-shirt pencil-necked bastards who've never had their buddies ripped apart by shrapnel before their eyes wanna tell Tommy Lee Jones to go fuck himself. They're gonna lie to him, try and snipe him when he's talkin' to his wife, make under-the-table deals, distort the facts, and be all-around goddamned piss-heads.

At their fore is Canadian Peter Dvorsky (Harlan from VIDEODROME) as "Dix," perhaps the greatest frustratingly realistic "evil nerd" character actor ever.

#5. Tommy Lee Jones harshly intoning, "Get nekkid."



#6. Tommy Lee Jones' actual demands.

He's not in it for revenge, or money, or terror, or political demands. He just wants everyone to take a moment to think about their lives. Yeah, that's right. "There's a lotta people like me in this city. Who don't feel any control over their lives." He's making radio broadcasts about his philosophies, and listing crimes and injustices that have been swept under the collective carpet. "Think about how you treat people, and how you want to be treated."

He's like the Gandhi of action heroes.

#7. "I'm from Queens, and, eh... I'm all for de guy."


#8. A televised interview with an old lady who's just like the smarmy old lady in THE RUNNING MAN, and this a year before THE RUNNING MAN.


#9. THE PARK IS MINE! T-shirts.

Yeah, and I totally want one.

#10. Mercenaries?!

Mercenaries, the most vile outsourcing of all. Yeah, when it all comes down to brass tacks, the corrupt officials of the city would rather send in ex-Viet Cong and Eurotrash mercenaries to eliminate Tommy Lee Jones, rather than let him peacefully retain control of the Park for his last 24 hours.

Damn! Lemme know how that works out for you, mercenaries. This really pushes the film past that final, wonderful point of ridiculousness. It's the point where you check the video box again to make sure it wasn't made by Italians. Then there's a moment of pride when you realize that North Americans, too, are sometimes capable of spit-take inducing, unhinged cinematic madness. And it's this final element is what truly cements the film's status as a classic. A perfect movie. Basically, the only thing missing is Donald Pleasence. Donald Pleasence would be so 'at home' in this movie, that words can't even explain it. But that's forgivable, cause it's possible he was too busy appearing in every single other 80's movie.

Five, glorious, shining stars.

-Sean Gill