Showing posts with label Tilda Swinton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tilda Swinton. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Only now does it occur to me... HAIL, CAESAR! (2016)

Only now does it occur to me... that the Coen Brothers must be closet HIGHLANDER fans. Why else would they cast Clancy "The Kurgan" Brown:

and Christopher "Connor 'The Highlander' MacLeod" Lambert:

in the same film? (aside from the fact that they're both great, and wield a mean broadsword).  With Sean Connery retired, I suppose my only complaint is that Michael Ironside didn't make the cut.

Regardless, this film does not in fact revolve around HIGHLANDER sequel/prequel fan-fictions, though from the standpoint of a character-actor fan, it has much to offer. Amid the pastiche of Busby Berkeley and Vincente Minnelli-style musical numbers, there are wonderful bits by Robert Picardo as a finicky, test audience rabbi:

Fisher Stevens (who really knows how to make an entrance) as a furtive, blacklisted screenwriter:

Tilda Swinton in dual roles as twin-sister gossip columnists:

and Dolph Lundgren as the silhouette of a Russian submarine captain:

(since it's the 1950s,  I can't tell if he's Ivan Drago's father, or the father of his henchman from A VIEW TO A KILL). 

Sure, it's no BARTON FINK, but I enjoyed it.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Only now does it occur to me... THE BEACH

Only now does it occur to me... that you're probably thinking THE BEACH is an unusual pick for my Halloween Countdown.  However, I think that if we begin tossing words around like "(Entitled Hippie) Horror Beach Party" or "Jungle Faux-hemian Cult," or "Man-Eats-Shark, Shark-Eats-Man Attack," you might begin to see what I mean.  In any event, the fascists over at 20th Century Fox wouldn't let me upload a YouTube video entitled "Leonardo DiCaprio's Master's Class in Acting, Volume 1: THE BEACH," even though it was extremely educational and a benefit to society at large.  Instead, you'll have to settle for some screen captures and my vivid descriptions, sans context.

SEE!  DiCaprio leap out from behind a palm frond and hiss at a doomed woman with the ferocity of a rabid mongoose:



HISSSSSSSSSSSSS-HCCCCCAHHH!


BEHOLD! DiCaprio enunciating bizarre and inappropriate syllables while he explains that
 
"As for climbing down there, that is just an...
...ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOLE...
SUG-GEST-TION!"

BEAR WITNESS! To DiCaprio channeling his existential ennui (less like LORD OF THE FLIES and more like "BORED OF THE FLIES" amirite?) into believing he's living a low-rent 1990s arcade game,
complete with bad video-pixelation and a generic "jungle danger" concept,

although we do get to watch a giant, face-huggin' spider go to town on DiCaprio's head,

till it's GAME OVER, man!
I for one, welcome THE BEACH into the horror canon.



2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Film Review: THE LIMITS OF CONTROL (2009, Jim Jarmusch)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 116 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Isaach De Bankolé, John Hurt, Tilda Swinton, Paz de la Huerta, Gael García Bernal, Bill Murray. Cinematography by Christopher Doyle.
Tag-line: "For every way in, there is another way out."
Best one-liner: "The Sufi say each one of us is a planet spinning in ecstasy. But I say each one of us is a set of shifting molecules, spinning in ecstasy."

Jim Jarmusch is a master filmmaker. I love his deadpan humor, his visual style, his strange, earnest slapstick. But THE LIMITS OF CONTROL is not a good movie. I feel as if I can speak with authority because I've made the same mistake: You're on vacation with friends who happen to be actors and you happen to have your camera, so you start shooting. “God, it looks great! I'll write a scene or two as I go along. Here, stand in front of this neat building and brood.” Next thing you know- BAM- you've got a movie, right? Not really. This has the trappings of a cool 60's Eurocrime film, but that's all it's got.

Christopher Doyle's visuals are crisply elegant- deep blues, fiery reds, beautiful countryside, and angled modern architecture.


Isaach De Bankolé is a man on a mission. He always orders two espressos in separate cups.

He exchanges matchbooks and cryptic, quasi-existential banter with brilliant actors who were probably just in the neighborhood that day and Jim was like 'Hey, you want to do a scene?'

It’s punctuated by Isaach staring at the cityscape, doing tai chi, and visiting museums. The scenes of Isaach gazing at artwork just make you wish you were watching Bronson in THE MECHANIC, where scenes of him scrutinizing Bosch were bookended by that rare beast called a 'narrative.'

In DOWN BY LAW, Jim's coup was to not show the specifics of the jailbreak- we have characters in prison, then they're on the lam. The movie is about the characters, not the tunneling, the subterfuge, the act of breaking out. But here, there's not even character- there's empty words, blank stares, an issue of Italian Vogue come to life- a parody (?) of an art film. Jim realizes this and he accordingly ups the T&A ante, but, sorry, no sale.

There's a lot of name-dropping, too- names like Welles, Kaurismäki, Tarkovsky, Hitchcock. Yup, we know those names. Yeah, I've seen STALKER. We're both pretty smart for knowing those names and having seen STALKER, don't you think? For those who say it’s a blank slate meant to be read through the critical lens of your choice, I say it's better if viewed as the live-action version of CARMEN SANDIEGO, with Tilda Swinton as Carmen,

Bill Murray as The Chief,

Is Bill Murray working for ACME or V.I.L.E.?

and John Hurt as Baron Grinnit.

John Hurt answers some questions regarding his theft of the Sphinx. Click on the pic for a larger view.


I’d have to be drunker than Chris Doyle to recommend this. Two stars.

-Sean Gill