Only now does it occur to me... DOWN PERISCOPE

Only now does it occur to me... that DOWN PERISCOPE may possess the lowest ratio of "overall quality in comparison to amount of Great character actors" from any comparable film.

I think most of us think of DOWN PERISCOPE as the moment in the 90s where our nation's thirst for the "submarine movie" peaked, having enjoyed THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER, CRIMSON TIDE, THE ABYSS... before beholding the Rob Schneider version.
 
 The Rob Schneider version.

Conversely, you may also think of this as "the time Kelsey Grammer put out the feelers to see what his post-'Frasier Crane' stock might be worth."
 
If we were to examine DOWN PERISCOPE through that lens, I think we'd find that it is not typical of his actual post-FRASIER output:  clearly he's found his new niche acting against type in the third installments of modern action franchises (X-MEN III: THE LAST STAND, THE EXPENDABLES 3).

Anyway, I've digressed from my original point, which is that DOWN PERISCOPE is indeed terrible, but that it contains performances by some of our finest character actors.  There's a certain cognitive dissonance that expresses itself when you're watching Rip Torn:

William H. Macy:

Bruce Dern:

and Harry Dean Stanton:

doing their best to deliver peabrained jokes about bird shit and penis tattoos.  Whew.

Film Review: FLASHPOINT (1984, William Tannen)

Stars: 4.2 of 5.
Running Time: 94 minutes.
Tag-line: "A wrecked jeep.... A skeleton.... A rifle... $800,000 dollars in cash..."
Notable Cast or Crew: Treat Williams (DEAD HEAT, HAIR, PRINCE OF THE CITY), Kris Kristofferson (LONE STAR, BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA, PAYBACK), Rip Torn (EXTREME PREJUDICE, WILD 90), Kurtwood Smith (ROBOCOP, RAMBO III, THAT 70's SHOW), Kevin Conway (The 90's OUTER LIMITS, F.I.S.T.), Miguel Ferrer (Albert on TWIN PEAKS, ROBOCOP), and Jean Smart (PROJECT X, DESIGNING WOMEN). Music by Tangerine Dream. Written by the underrated Dennis Shryack and Michael Butler (CODE OF SILENCE, PALE RIDER, FIFTY/FIFTY) and based on the novel by George La Foutaine, Sr.
Best exchange: "Like my Daddy always said, 'If you can't get out of it, get into it.'" –"I thought your daddy used to say, 'If you can't fix it, fuck it.'" "He said that, too."

FLASHPOINT is a little known 80's gem from director William Tannen (Chuck Norris' HERO AND THE TERROR and Larry Cohen's DEADLY ILLUSION- not to be confused with F/X 2: THE DEADLY ART OF ILLUSION), who manages to toe the odd line between the sensibilities of Sam Peckinpah and Oliver Stone. I'll be careful not to disclose too much about the plot itself, but suffice it to say that two border patrol agents make a discovery in the desert (see the tag-line) which may or may not bring with it some overwhelming repercussions.


Frequently touted only as a JFK conspiracy flick, the film has significantly less to do with the assassination's cover-up than it does with the powers of the (capital S) System encroaching on the rights of its unwilling subjects. It has an anti-technology slant, to be sure, but only so far as in it is against technology's hijacking by the powers that be for use as, shall we say, a blunt instrument (our heroes frequently feign walkie-talkie malfunction to fleetingly slow the System's bureaucratic juggernaut, which threatens to replace them with robotic sensors).

Meet your replacement.

Orwell tells us "if [we] want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever..."

Well, who's moving to prevent that? In FLASHPOINT, its guys like the 'Nam vet Kris Kristofferson, who'd ordinarily like nothing more than to remain beneath the System's radar:

the intrepid Treat Williams, who believes that inner righteousness will see the storm through:

and the irascible Rip Torn, a sheriff (much like his character in 1987's EXTREME PREJUDICE; he even says the line "The only thing worse than a politician is a child molester," which he would use again with élan) whose hillbilly aphorisms and preference for sour mash disguise a tremendous understanding of the sheer scope of the System's various wheels and gears.

Representing the System is the reptilian Kurtwood Smith, a flag-pin wearin' creep who literally thanks God every day for drugs, murder, and subversion- the general pretenses for said boot stamping.

That oily devil.

Tangerine Dream supplies one of their best, ethereally pulsating scores (on par with RISKY BUSINESS and THE PARK IS MINE!); there's excellent bit parts by Kevin Conway and an always-snarky Miguel Ferrer:

Miguel Ferrer prepares to unleash a blistering remark that will both delight and appall.

there's a certain amount of levity and buddy-bonding:

("Which one you want?" "-The mean one." "You're a sick man."), and it all adds up to an understated thriller that's well worth your while. It's not action-packed by any means, but the payoffs are well-earned and quite satisfying. I'd even say that the mood of the picture has resonated onward and has certainly influenced films such as WHITE SANDS and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. A touch over four stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: EXTREME PREJUDICE (1987, Walter Hill)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 104 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Written by John Milius, Fred Rexer, Deric Washburn, and Harry Kleiner. Starring Nick Nolte, Powers Boothe, Rip Torn, Michael Ironside (TOTAL RECALL, SCANNERS), William Forsythe (PATTY HEARST, THE ROCK), Clancy Brown (HIGHLANDER, LOST), Matt Mulhern (BILOXI BLUES), Larry B. Scott (THE KARATE KID, IRON EAGLE, the gay nerd in REVENGE OF THE NERDS), Dan Tullis Jr. (UNDER THE GUN, MARRIED WITH CHILDREN), Tiny Lister (BEVERLY HILLS COP II, 9 1/2 NINJAS), Mickey Jones (Bob Dylan's drummer), Maria Conchita Alonso.
Tag-lines: "An army of forgotten heroes, all officially dead. They live for combat. Now they've met the wrong man."
Best one-liner: "Música! and make it sweet, goddammit, or I'll shoot the band!"

Before you stick this thing in your player, I want you to mark out an 8 foot radius around your TV set. Then I want you to make sure there's nothing in that zone that you wouldn't mind having 40 gallons of testosterone poured over. EXTREME PREJUDICE has been proven to make wombs shrivel and has turned the frilliest of ladies quite husky; it makes men stumble, confused, into the street with a mysterious desire to chomp on cigars and arm wrestle. It's robust, potent, severe, and is completely safe when used as directed.

It's about men staring at men staring at men.

The ensemble cast possesses a dangerous volatility that borders on the atomic:

we got Powers Boothe crushing scorpions with his bare hands and calling people "shitheel,"


we got quasi-hick Bill Forsythe skewering rats on a hunting knife,


we got Michael Ironside correcting us in our misconception that the scariest face to ever wear a nylon stocking was Willem Dafoe's in WILD AT HEART,

Well, I guess this question's still up in the air.

we got Rip Torn as a drawlin' sheriff spoutin' aphorisms like "the only thing worse than a politician is a child molester,"

we got Clancy Brown as a man so stern that I think he's the original form in Plato's cave for "No Nonsense,"


and we got Nick Nolte as a Ranger whose tolerance for "bureaucratic fatasses fluffin' their duff" is- that's right- ZERO.

And the only woman of any note, Maria Conchita Alonso, is HOT. And I mean that quite literally: she's kept well-steamed, sweaty, and safely objectified for the duration via contrivances such as showers and non-air conditioned bars.

Everyone in this movie is sweaty.

She's one of those women who wants to "talk" with her man, Nolte. Talk?! Screw that. He doesn't even know what that means. Writer John Milius' reactionary political views are at first offensive, then charming, and finally just 'stand back and let the gringos kill each other.' Limbs are blown off, bombs are hidden in cute little rabbits, and the inspiration for BULLETPROOF has never been more apparent (adding more fuel to the Busey/Nolte fire). Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out, and give this thing five stars.

-Sean Gill