Only now does it occur to me... THE MUPPET SHOW 1x01

Only now does it occur to me... that an obscure image in the first-ever produced episode of THE MUPPET SHOW (1x01, hosted by dancer Juliet Prowse in January 1976) seems to have inspired the poster image of the now (unfairly) obscure 1984 educational drama, TEACHERS.

The poster for TEACHERS:

The image in question, whereupon Fozzie Bear and Rowlf the Dog handle an apple bomb:

I really have nothing else to say, except maybe "How 'bout that?"

Only now does it occur to me... BLUE CHIPS

Only now does it occur to me...  that BLUE CHIPS is all about setting new standards.  One is the O'Neal/O'Neill standard:  never before or since have Shaquille and Ed put aside their spelling differences and graced the screen together.
Then, there's Nick Nolte, setting a new standard for how we "storm out of a room."  Before BLUE CHIPS, we only had "slamming the door," "dropping the mic," and "throwing your drink in someone's face" at our disposal.  Nick Nolte boldly adds "wreaking havoc on a water cooler" to the list.  I know I'll never storm out of a room the same way again!


 
 
 
 

Only now does it occur to me... CANNERY ROW

Only now does it occur to me...  that if you've been wondering all this time what a Nick Nolte Indiana Jones would have looked like (Nolte notably passed on the roles of Han Solo in STAR WARS and Jones in RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK), then you need look no further than this freeze frame from the John Steinbeck adaptation, CANNERY ROW:

As for the film itself, despite nice turns from Nolte, Debra Winger, and M. Emmett Walsh, it fails to capture the ever-amusing humanism of the novel (and its sequel SWEET THURSDAY) ...and is fairly unwatchable.

Film Review: CAPE FEAR (1991, Martin Scorsese)

Stars: 4 of 5.

Running Time: 128 minutes.

Notable Cast or Crew:  Nick Nolte (EXTREME PREJUDICE, FAREWELL TO THE KING), Jessica Lange (THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE '81, TITUS), Robert De Niro (RAGING BULL, THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE), Joe Don Baker (THE OUTFIT, THE NATURAL, WALKING TALL), Juliette Lewis (FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, STRANGE DAYS), Illeana Douglas (GOODFELLAS, GHOST WORLD), and Fred Dalton Thompson (real-life failed presidential candidate, THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER).  Cameo appearances by Robert Mitchum, Gregory Peck, and Martin Balsam (PSYCHO, DEATH WISH 3).  New screenplay by Wesley Strick (ARACHNOPHOBIA, WOLF).  Cinematography by Freddie Francis (THE ELEPHANT MAN, DUNE).  Non-original music by Bernard Herrmann.  Herrmann score adapted by Elmer Bernstein (THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN, THE TEN COMMANDMENTS, GHOSTBUSTERS). Credits sequence by Saul Bass.  Uncredited executive produced by Steven Spielberg and Frank Marshall. 

Tag-line: "There is nothing in the dark that isn't in the light.  Except fear.  Cape Fear."  (emphasis added)

Best one-liner:  "Counselor!"

Alright, folks.  CAPE FEAR '91 has kind of a bad reputation.  Now, Scorsese went all out:  I think he thought this was going to be his "Hitchcock" film.  He even updated the Bernard Herrmann soundtrack and had Saul Bass (!) do the credits sequence.

As it turns out, it ain't Hitchcock, but let me put it in perspective.  You know that clichéd high school yearbook quote, "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars?"  I think a slightly modified version of that can apply here.  I surmise:  "Shoot for Hitchcock('s moon-shaped belly), even if you miss, you'll land among the De Palmas."  And that's exactly what this feels like– a mid-range De Palma film!  And there are much worse things to be– because I happen to love mid-range De Palma (BODY DOUBLE, DRESSED TO KILL, RAISING CAIN, etc.) .

So without further adieu, and though I do prefer the original, here are seven quick reasons why CAPE FEAR '91 is a place worth visiting:

#1.  The inverse cameos.  CAPE FEAR '91 brings back three of the principals from CAPE FEAR '62, and in strange bizarro versions.
 
First, we have 'ol Rumple Eyes himself, Bob Mitchum, helping the Nick Nolte character protect himself from De Niro's version of the original Mitchum role.  Whew.


Then, we have Gregory Peck as an apparently evil version of Atticus Finch, defending De Niro from Nick Nolte's version of the original Peck role.  Damn!

Finally, we have Martin Balsam playing the judge who sides with De Niro, because he hates "vigilante justice."  Now, I know that's not true– given that I've seen him mow down legions of gang members with WWII-era machine gun in DEATH WISH 3.

#2.  Joe Don Baker drinking a combination of Pepto-Bismol and Jim Beam for the duration of the film.

If that doesn't warm your heart, then I personally forbid you from ever again watching a Joe Don Baker movie.

#3.  De Niro makin' creepy phone calls in gravity boots. 

Because... 1991.

#4.  The "clinging to the underbelly of a rapidly moving vehicle for several hours" plot twist, which feels EXACTLY like something that'd be in a De Palma film. 
  

#5.  Ditto on "murderous De Niro in drag."
 
It's really one of those strange performances where you can't quite tell if he's phoning it in or not.  There's often a fine line between "bad" acting and "genius" acting (see: the career of Steve Railsback, for example), and I kinda can't tell if this is a performance of nuanced intensity, or if it's a practical joke on the audience.  Either way, I love it.

#6.  Continuing in this vein:  in 1991, nearly one hundred years of motion picture history culminated in the subtle beauty of Robert De Niro singing a line of Tiffany's "I Think We're Alone Now"

while offering a joint to orthodonitia-encrusted teenage Juliette Lewis:

Truly fantastic.

#7.  Nick Nolte crazy-face!

I've discussed this in-depth before, but there are few things more frighteningly exhilarating than seeing a crazy-faced Nick Nolte in his native habitat.

SWEET DREAMS, KIDDIES!


P.S.  It always struck me as bizarre that the theatrical poster's placement (see above) of the torn photo and De Niro's creepy gaze build a subliminal image of a keyhole, especially since I can't recall keyholes being relevant to the plot whatsoever.  Thoughts?

–Sean Gill

Film Review: 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 96 minutes.
Tag-line: "When a tough cop has a cool convict as a partner and 48 hrs to catch a killer, a lot of funny things can happen in . . . 48 HRS."
Notable Cast or Crew: Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, James Remar (QUIET COOL, THE WARRIORS), Brion James (BLADE RUNNER, RED HEAT), Peter Jason (THEY LIVE, JOHNNY HANDSOME), Chris Mulkey (QUIET COOL, TWIN PEAKS), Annette O' Toole (CAT PEOPLE, STEPHEN KING'S IT), David Patrick Kelly (THE WARRIORS, TWIN PEAKS, COMMANDO), Frank McRae (RED DAWN, LOCK UP), Ola Ray (Female lead in the THRILLER music video), Marcelino Sánchez (THE WARRIORS, HILL STREET BLUES).
Best one-liner: "Who GIVES a goddamn what YOU like? You're just a crook on a weekend pass! You're not even a goddamn NAME anymore! You're just a spearchucker with a number stencilled on the back of his prison fatigues! And I'm through fuckin' around. You tell me the truth or you're gonna get the living shit beat outta you." (said by Nick Nolte)

Often cited as as the first of the buddy cop films– a label which I find contentious, given that films like BUSTING and FREEBIE AND THE BEAN were being released almost a decade earlier– 48 HRS. is nonetheless a fine entry into the genre. It began life as an idea from producer Lawrence Gordon (PREDATOR, DIE HARD), who wanted to make a film which involved a time limit (48 hours), a kidnapping, and a cop temporarily springing a convict to aid in the investigation. The concept underwent several iterations with additions made by Roger Spottiswoode (TURNER & HOOCH), Larry Gross (STREETS OF FIRE, TRUE CRIME), Steven E. de Souza (DIE HARD, COMMANDO, HUDSON HAWK), and Walter Hill himself. The end result is a little STRAY DOG here, a little COOL HAND LUKE there, and a proper sprinkling of THE FRENCH CONNECTION and DIRTY HARRY. Initial casting would have placed Clint Eastwood and Richard Pryor in the lead roles, which I'm guessing could have made this film something like BLUE COLLAR meets EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE, and I can't decide whether or not that would be brilliant or a train wreck. But the cast which Judith Holstra (who also cast such great ensemble pieces as EXTREME PREJUDICE and RENT-A-COP) finally put together is one of the best in 80's action cinema: Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, James Remar, Brion James, Sonny Landham, Frank McRae, Peter Jason, and David Patrick Kelly, to name a few.

Now the plot's fairly by-the-numbers, the action scenes and chase setpieces are far from being the best in Hill's filmography, and Brion James spends the movie stuck behind a desk

Brion James a good guy behind a desk- really?!

-so why does 48 HRS. still stand apart from the pack? Well, allow me to try and explain:

#1. James Remar is fucking insane.

To play our villain, the recently escaped jailbird Albert Ganz, James Remar deprived himself of sleep to nail that crazy-eyed, paranoid, 'walking dead' look. And by God does he succeed.


Whether watching cartoons, jostling innocents, wandering around anxiously in a tank top, or gunning down cops as his mouth contorts in all of its gap-toothed-gaping-maw glory– Remar is spooky-good.

Also, he wears a crucifix earring:

And I'm pretty sure he had a real piercing- see also: HOMEBODIES.


#2. 'Non compos mentis' is Latin for Sonny Landham.

He's been a porn star, a Kentucky politician, a proponent of genocide against Arabs, and is so goddamned nuts that he needed a bodyguard on the set of PREDATOR to protect Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse Ventura, and Carl Weathers... from HIM. Look at him cackling with that hunting knife. Is that acting? I'm not sure we can say for sure. But in the context of 48 HRS., as James Remar's number two, this hate-mongering psychopath is just what the doctor ordered. Also, his character is named Billy– is he the same character from PREDATOR, but in an alternate universe?

#3. Which brings me to... David Patrick Kelly... as Luther?!

He's come a long way since "War-ree-yoors...COME OUT AND PLAY-YEE-YAY!," but I guess he survived and was reborn as a cheap punk under the thumb of Ajax who apparently made it to the west coast as well. Preposterous WARRIORS conjecture aside: David Patrick Kelly really dives into the role and it fits quite well into his rogue's gallery of diminutive sleazes that he's played over the years.

And as a side note, I really need to pick up his album one of these days.


#4. Nick Nolte clobbering the shit out of David Patrick Kelly, and possibly for real.



You get the feeling that DPK is a real trouper and was probably injured for real what with the amount of slamming into pavement and car doors and all-around manhandling and neck-twisting that occurs within this scene. (But I'm sure that he was so committed that he didn't even complain.)

#5. Nick Nolte always wakes up with a hangover even when he hasn't had a drop to drink. Except for those 40 beers and a bottle of vermouth and oh dear God how did it come to that.


#6. James Horner's score. Horner (COMMANDO, ALIENS, WILLOW, AVATAR, THE NEW WORLD, TITANIC) has done his fair share of big budget actioners, and he certainly doesn't disappoint. But this leads me to an anecdote. Lately- and I'm not too proud to admit this– I've been doing a fair amount of listening to the COMMANDO (1985) soundtrack. It's kind of the superlative action soundtrack. Heavy brass, oppressive reverb-heavy kettle drums, nasty synthesized zithers, and some tropical flutes and steel drums for that Latin American flavor. On top of all this is a wailin' sax worthy of John Lurie which interjects breezy, squawkin' grooves with some amount of frequency. There's even some sentimental strings in there, too (for Alyssa Milano's character- I think her name was "Chenny"). Annyway, the point of my story is that every element that makes up the COMMANDO soundtrack makes sense- Latin American flourishes, a tropical vibe, an underscoring of father/daughter schmaltz. Now it had been some time since I had seen 48 HRS., so you can imagine my surprise to find that it basically has the exact same soundtrack as COMMANDO, give or take a few transpositions and subtle melodic shifts! I'll bet he thought no one would notice his self-plagiarization- but at least it makes thematic sense in the revisit. A fine action soundtrack (on both occasions).

#7. Ric Waite's hazy cinematography.


Ric Waite (RED DAWN, COBRA, OUT FOR JUSTICE) generally injects just the proper amount of creative lighting effects to make his images pop without overwhelming the bare-knuckled, no-frills stories they usually accompany. He knows the genres and directors that he works with well (from Milius to Hill to Flynn to Cosmatos), and he knows he ain't workin' with Bertolucci, Antonioni, or Ken Russell. His work on 48 HRS. can be described as 'evocatively smoggy.' You feel the grime and the haze and the heat of California as washed-out daytime earth tones are replaced at night by neon and twirling police flashers. It's a vivid imagining, and you really feel the stifling sense of what it must be to exist beneath the sweaty, grubby belly of the Golden State. Hollywood, of course has a rich history of depicting this sort of thing, and it can be seen in everything from John A. Alonzo's work on CHINATOWN (1974) to Robby Müller's on TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (1985) and beyond.

#8. The delightfully brutish way with which Nolte pronounces the word "bullshit." It's like it takes on a life of its own.

"BULLLLLSHIT."

See also: Nolte's exclamation "My ass bleeds for ya!" and his assertion "You been dickin' me around since we started this turd hunt."

#9. A bit part by Chris Mulkey (Hank Jennings on TWIN PEAKS) as a patrolman.

I wonder if he and Remar became buddies, because he shows up again in QUIET COOL.

#10. Eddie Murphy's notorious starmaking scene in the redneck bar.

It's hyped up to no end, but it's still a great scene. And it's refreshing to see the raw talent of Murphy, years before he became intoxicated by his own self-importance. He tosses off lines like "Sit your country ass down, man!" with aplomb, and we suspend our disbelief that Murphy could singlehandedly rough up an entire bar of brawny (presumably racist) yokels because he commands– no, demands the viewer's attention, so much so, that you exist purely in the moment with him. You're caught up in the sheer masterpiece of bullshit that his character is constructing, and it's a joy to watch.

(And watch for John Carpenter-favorite Peter Jason as the back-talkin' hayseed bartender.)

Four stars.

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. KUFFS (1992, Bruce A. Evans)
3. THE OUTFIT (1973, John Flynn)

4. FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY (1981, Eddie Nicart)

5. A*P*E (1976, Paul Leder)

6. BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)
7. HIS KIND OF WOMAN (1951, John Farrow)
8. HIGH SCHOOL U.S.A. (1983, Rod Amateau)
9. DR. JEKYLL AND MS. HYDE (1995, David Price)
10. MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL (1997, Clint Eastwood)
11. 1990: BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
12. FALLING DOWN (1993, Joel Schumacher)
13. TOURIST TRAP (1979, David Schmoeller)
14. THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973, Richard Lester)
15. BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
16. TOP GUN (1986, Tony Scott)
17. 48 HRS. (1982, Walter Hill)
18. ...

Film Review: FAREWELL TO THE KING (1989, John Milius)

Stars: 3.7 of 5.
Running Time: 117 minutes.
Tag-line: "In the midst of war, one man vanished into the jungle, and emerged as king."
Notable Cast or Crew: Nick Nolte, Frank McRae (RED DAWN, 48 HRS.), James Fox (PERFORMANCE, PATRIOT GAMES), Nigel Havers (EMPIRE OF THE SUN, A PASSAGE TO INDIA), Gerry Lopez (CONAN THE BARBARIAN), Aki Aleong (KUFFS, THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG), Marilyn Tokuda (ALL OF ME, XANADU). Based on the novel by Pierre Schoendoerffer (THE ANDERSON PLATOON). Music by Basil Poledouris (ROBOCOP, CONAN THE BARBARIAN).
Best one-liner: "No one moves very far out of line. When you're young you think you're blazing a trail. When you grow older, you realize you're beating a path."

Men carried by the waves. Breakers dwarf their vessel, toss them to and fro like a child's toy. One could say that the winds of war have delivered them to this point, but their final destination depends on the whimsies of that fickle, briny deity known as The Sea.

The sole survivor of a Pacific shipwreck and subsequent massacre by the Japanese, Nick Nolte's 'Learoyd' wanders the dark and hostile rainforest. He is a man, disintegrated. On the outside, raging in the ocean and surrounding lands, is manmade chaos- The Second World War. On the inside is anxiety and despair, further aroused by natural chaos- the untamed jungle. He renounces his connection to his so-called civilization and throws away his pistol. Soon thereafter, he is captured by the indigenous people, 'reified,' and reborn.

On the verge of execution, Nolte's intricate tattoos prove serendipitous, and not long afterward, he is crowned their king. He builds a life for himself, and for his people. It is a genuine way of life, something Hemingway might refer to as "afición."

The jungle no longer teaches Herzogian lessons of darkness, but rather poses Hemingway-esque opportunities for redemption and transcendence- a way to recapture an authentic existence. Before long, the British and the Japanese rudely trespass upon Nolte's idyll, and each actively desires something from him: The British- cooperation and corruption; The Japanese- death.

"I quit your world," says Nolte- but the High Command, the politicians, and the bean-counters haven't quit Nolte, and so long as he draws breath and can hold a weapon, he's useful to the war effort. There's wheeling and dealing; Nolte wants guarantees, and he doesn't want his people bulldozed and redacted from the impending final reports and postscripts of the Second World War. James Fox is Colonel Ferguson, a man flummoxed by and dismissive of Nolte's 'peculiar' requests.

Nigel Havers is Captain Fairbourne, a man who begins to see Nolte's point-of-view, though he never truly graps the idea of an authentic existence- it's already been tainted by the war before he arrives (or, more accurately, just as he arrives).

John Bennett Perry plays Douglas MacArthur, another of Milius' "great men of history" who waft through his films, often portrayed as idealized, patriotic spirits, more abstractions than men. "History is written by unusual men, some who become kings, and some who make no more mark than a stone thrown into the ocean"- MacArthur, as channeled by Milius, is initially sympathetic to Nolte's cause.

But he still doesn't understand. The very way that these men exist brands them as incapable of understanding, because it is inauthentic.

War's about as discerning as the swells of the ocean, and, naturally, Nolte is sucked into the breathless void of bayonet-chopping, machete-stabbing, shotgun-blasting combat.

It is here, and not in the initial world-quitting, that Nolte embraces the hideous animal within. That pure black chaos from the deep which is as alien to the transformed Nolte as the "prim and proper" bureaucracy of destruction. To watch him do it is remarkable and terrifying.




In a way, FAREWELL TO THE KING might be John Milius' most John Hustonian flick, combining the culture shocks and "adventure" of THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING with the 'aw shucks' benevolence with which Walter Huston's character becomes a full-time medicine man in THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE. Milius was a longtime admirer of Huston, and even had the opportunity to write for him (THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN) and direct him (THE WIND AND THE LION).

Despite all of this, I cannot label FAREWELL TO THE KING as a masterpiece. Milius is an excellent writer and director, but he cannot wring the realness from his situations that someone like Huston (or Herzog) can. Another problem is the score by Basil Poledouris. I very much appreciate his work in films like CONAN THE BARBARIAN and ROBOCOP, but here, when the narrative stakes are a little higher, it comes across as oddball Oscar bait. Sometimes the music made me feel like I was watching DANCES WITH WOLVES when I should have felt like I was watching AGUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD. This was also a problem for me in RED DAWN. Something like Arnold swinging a battle-axe in CONAN THE BARBARIAN is not a sacred image, it's a pedestrian one. And it's one which benefits from sweeping music. I'm not reachin' for the hanky when I see Arnold swinging the axe to Basil's majestic strains, but I'm grinning and sippin' my Schlitz and having a heckuva time. In FAREWELL TO THE KING, I see Nolte replaced by the primeval beast which resides in the pit of mankind's deepest fears. This is a powerful image. This image speaks for itself. When sumptuous strings interrupt this image, they are as profane as the British army which so brutally barges in on Nolte's Shangri-La.

Nearly four stars, but not the quite the tour de force it could have been.

-Sean Gill