Film Review: SLEEPWALKERS (1992, Mick Garris)

Stars: 3.2 of 5.
Running Time: 91 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Brian Krause (RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON), Mädchen Amick (TWIN PEAKS, MY OWN WORST ENEMY), Alice Krige (TWILIGHT OF THE ICE NYMPHS, BARFLY), Ron Perlman (HELLBOY, IN THE NAME OF THE ROSE), Glenn Shadix (HEATHERS, BEETLEJUICE), Mark Hamill (VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED, BODY BAGS). Cameos by Stephen King, Clive Barker, Tobe Hooper, Joe Dante, John Landis.
Tag-line: "They feast on your fear - and it's dinner time." That sounds about right.
Best one-liner: (stabs policeman in the ear with a pencil) "Cop-kabob!" Wowww.

Full of the silly, sloppy storytelling that typifies the collaborations between Mick Garris and Stephen King, SLEEPWALKERS still manages to be a pretty enjoyable experience. This thing is no SILVER BULLET or CREEPSHOW, but it's leaps and bounds above the (Garris) TV movies of THE STAND or THE SHINING. The plot is kind of a CAT PEOPLE/DRACULA mash-up involving incest, virgin sacrifice, morphing automobiles, powers of invisibility, and teenage romance. And we've got King taking that whole 50's Americana thing a bit too far, as always.


Gotta love the cat family portrait.

In the tradition of "General" from CAT'S EYE, we've got a damned likable housecat performance courtesy of "Sparks," who plays "Clovis."

"Sparks" is pretty solid, but he's nowhere near the thespian that "General" was in CAT'S EYE. I'm serious. Rewatch CAT'S EYE and tell me I'm wrong.


But the number one thing that makes this movie work is a little lady named Mädchen Amick (Shelly from TWIN PEAKS).

Her first appearance involves a really spazzy, impromptu, solo dance number worthy of Elaine Benes;

and, throughout the film, she exudes sheer pathos and an adorable magnetism. Generally, in a film of this kind, you couldn't give two shits about the damsel in distress- but here, Amick outshines both the colorful villains and bumpkin-style character actors- a true feat. There's bit parts by Ron Perlman (an a-hole state trooper), Mark Hamill (a stupefied cop),

Hamill + 'stache.

Glenn Shadix (a smug schoolteacher), and Stephen King (doing that whole yokel routine again).

Clive Barker doesn't have the heart to tell Stephen King that, though he's seen CREEPSHOW seven times, he's always fast-forwarded through the segment starring King as the plant-infected hillbilly.


Tobe Hooper comes face to face with what he might look like if he shaved the beard- and he's not sure he likes it.

There's a slew of horror cameos (Barker, Hooper, Dante, etc.), an overload of really cheap 'loud noise' scare stingers, perhaps the first (and last?) Mr. Pibb product placement, and an avenging army of pissed off cats.

Then there's the one-liners. Yeah, there are a lot, and boy, are they bad:

"I don't think you're getting into the spirit of this- why don't you think of yourself... AS LUNCH!"

Where things start to get iffy.

Then there's, "People should learn to keep their hands to themselves...HERE'S YOURS!"

And finally, after a corn cob impaling: "No vegetables- no dessert... those are the rules."

That's not even a one-liner! Plus, he ATE his vegetables!

Ah, well. Three stars.

-Sean Gill


2009 Halloween Countdown OVERFLOW

1. [•REC] (2007, Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)
2. THE MANITOU (1978, William Girdler)
3. SLEEPWALKERS (1992, Mick Garris)
4.
...

Television Review: MY OWN WORST ENEMY (2008, Jason Smilovic)

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is a dark week for Slater enthusiasts and followers of the Slater Factor alike, as some sniveling, cigar-smoking wanna-be hotshot down at NBC has canceled MY OWN WORST ENEMY with one swift, vicious stroke of the pen, thus reducing the Slater Factor to its lowest point in recent memory. Let's hope it doesn't send him on another two-year bender.

I wrote the following review before news of this catastrophe reached my ears, so forgive my misplaced, childish optimism.

So it's MEMENTO meets TRUE LIES meets... the Slater factor?! Yeah, you heard me right. The SLATER FACTOR. In my reviews and in my life, I do a fair amount of pontificating on "the Slater factor." Let me break it down for you: the Slater factor is when Christian Slater gets a little nutty.

In this promotional photo, the depth and poignancy of Slater's dual personalities is wonderfully illustrated by his artful reflection in the car's hood.

He turns on the Nicholson voice, he tosses around one-liners and eyebrows with reckless abandon: in short, the man starts acting like the lunatic he was born to be. It's the Slater of HEATHERS and KUFFS, the Slater who got arrested for leading cops on a car chase and assaulting them with his boots (1989), taking a gun on a plane (1994), biting a cop on the belly (1997), and drunken assgrabbing (2005). Anyway, my point is this: the show's premise revolves around the Slater factor. His character has two personalities: nice guy family man Henry Spivey and psychopathic secret agent Edward Albright, aka the Slater factor (also note they're the first names of Jekyll and Hyde, respectively). As the pilot began, I was slightly disappointed. It was trudging a tedious middle ground between bad BOURNE IDENTITY knockoff and straight-to-video Steven Segal flick. But then, as the switches between personalities began to intensify and the show's premise became more concrete, the Slater factor was allowed to shine. By the end of the pilot, the communication scenes between personalities were clever, well-done, and I daresay had at least a crumb of emotional pull. And that is because Slater is a fine actor. The show's creators have pulled a brilliant narrative coup- spotlight the Slater factor by creating an anti-Slater factor. Play them off of each other. Poof! Genius. Plus we got Madchen Amick from TWIN PEAKS as the missus. So, I'll be watchin' the rest of the season. And when I'm not, I'm gonna be sittin' at home. In the dark. Thinkin' about the Slater factor.

-Sean Gill