R.I.P., Lou Gossett, Jr.

Very sorry to hear that we lost Lou Gossett, Jr., who I've loved in everything from A RAISIN IN THE SUN to WATCHMEN. 

 

On this blog, I've had things to say about Gossett films like FIREWALKER, ENEMY MINE (one of his best!), JAWS 3-D, THE PRINCIPAL, and BLUE CHIPS. 

Quite often I wrote something along the lines of "Lou Gossett, Jr. deserves better," but he brought his all to these films, whether they were genuine Oscar bait, low budget genre flicks, absurdist Cannon Films, or A-list actioners. R.I.P.

Film Review: JAWS 3-D (1983, Joe Alves)

Stars: 2.5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Tag-line: "ALL NEW!  The third dimension is terror.  ALL NEW!"

Notable Cast or Crew: Dennis Quaid (THE RIGHT STUFF, THE BIG EASY, ENEMY MINE), Bess Armstrong (MY SO-CALLED LIFE, HIGH ROAD TO CHINA), Lou Gossett Jr. (AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN, ENEMY MINE, IRON EAGLE), Lea Thompson (BACK TO THE FUTURE, CAROLINE IN THE CITY), John Putch (THE SURE THING, MEN AT WORK), Simon MacCorkindale (THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER, FALCON CREST).  Written by Carl Gottlieb (JAWS, THE JERK) and Richard Matheson (many episodes of THE TWILIGHT ZONE, THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN), Guerdon Trueblood (THE SAVAGE BEES, TARANTULAS: THE DEADLY CARGO), and Michael Kane (SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT II, SOUTHERN COMFORT).  Music by Alan Parker (WHAT'S EATING GILBERT GRAPE, AMERICAN GOTHIC) with "Shark Theme" by John Williams.

Best One-liner: "You're talkin' about some damn shark's MOTHER?!"

JAWS 3-D does not bode well from the outset.  Our first three-dimensional image, about one minute into the proceedings, is that of a decapitated, rotating, and still-jabbering fish head.  So this is how it's going to be, eh?

It was directed by first-and-last-time director Joe Alves, a former Spielberg production designer (JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND) who rather conspicuously never returned to the Spielberg fold post JAWS 3-D.

Loosely inspired by 1955's REVENGE OF THE CREATURE (whereupon the Creature from the Black Lagoon escapes and wreaks havoc on an aquarium), JAWS 3-D sees a baby Great White Shark wander into a Sea World and die in captivity, drawing the ire of its monstrously-sized mother who proceeds to wreak havoc on Sea World.  Obviously, Roy Scheider is not involved (he later said, "Mephistopheles... couldn't talk me into JAWS 3"), though Dennis Quaid and John Putch play his grown-up sons, the Brody boys.

I sorta think Putch (on the left) should've been Crispin Glover.

Amity (the Massachusetts locale of the first two films) gets a brief shout-out,

and occasionally Alan Parker weaves John Williams' iconic theme into his score,

but for the most part, this is a generic "shark attack" movie with as much to do with the first JAWS as ersatz Italian rip-offs like THE LAST SHARK.  Though ostensibly penned in collaboration by JAWS' original screenwriter Carl Gottlieb (who, it must be said, also wrote DOCTOR DETROIT) and Richard Matheson (mastermind novelist and screenwriter who brought us everything from the finest TWILIGHT ZONE episodes to books like I AM LEGEND, SOMEWHERE IN TIME, and WHAT DREAMS MAY COME), the original draft was supposedly butchered by uncredited script doctors and meddling studio execs.  Though many an author has made this claim after discovering a stinker on their hands, in this instance I'm inclined to believe them.

I also am somewhat puzzled by Sea World's wholehearted involvement, as they allow their park to host monster mayhem and severed limbs and assorted jaws-chompin'.  I suppose the Sea World employees are depicted as heroically selfless, and technically no patrons are eaten, but from my experience, it seems like some corporate lawyer would have tried to shut this down even if management okayed it.  There's plenty of shameless, promotional Sea World kitsch to go around, though:


We'll always have BLACKFISH, though.  (Seriously, you should watch BLACKFISH.)

I went into JAWS 3-D imagining that it would be tawdry, brutal, and nonstop shark-attackery, and on several occasions it lives up to this idea––for instance, when a formation of water skiers are victimized by Jaws, mid-show:





And this.  It can't all be this:
and while portions of the film (like the above) are pretty spectacular, much of it is comparatively lifeless, especially when it turns into a low-rent POSEIDON ADVENTURE mid-way through with a handful of patrons trapped in an underwater tunnel.

Without Shelly Winters and Gene Hackman, this is pretty pointless.  (Or without Rutger Hauer and Steve Guttenberg!)

That about sums it up.  But I don't want to leave you on a down note––on to my seven favorite things about JAWS 3-DEEEEEEE!

#7.  This man's t-shirt:

It says "LET A GARGOYLE SIT ON YOUR FACE."  While this probably refers to Gargoyle™ brand sunglasses (if true, what an ill-considered corporate slogan), I'm going to take it to mean something vaguely and frighteningly sexual, involving the 'ole "satanic sculpture salad-toss." 

#6.  This glorious and film-concluding freeze frame:

The celebratory dolphins have been clumsily matted in, so as to affect a third dimension.  It is plainly ridiculous, and I wholeheartedly approve.

#5.  This New Wave barmaid:

She's appears in more than one scene, but only once does she wear this wonderfully 1983 pink headbandin' ensemble.  If it weren't for the little things like this, the whole affair would feel very 70s.

#4.  Lea Thompson's sexy-crazy-eye.

In this, her feature film debut, she plays a character named "Bukowski" and is intended as a love interest for the younger Brody brother.  She appears in your typical 'bikini babe' scenes and she punctuates her performance with pervasive crazy-eye.  I applaud this acting choice as it lends a oddly dangerous tension to otherwise banal scenes of romance, though longed for a twist ending where there was in fact no shark at all, but Lea Thompson murdering everyone while wearing a shark costume.  This could have been the FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART 5: A NEW BEGINNING of the JAWS series.  Alas.

#3.  The 3-D.  I watched this in 2-D, but it's extremely apparent each time a three-dimensional effect is offered to the viewer.  It is not quite as nutty as FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III, with its flying severed eyeballs and yo-yos in da face, but it has the aforementioned fish heads, floating severed arms:

hypodermic needles squirting yellow liquid in our eye:

The golden shower you didn't know you needed.

and the coup de grâce of, quite literally, JAWS 3-D:

More on this in a moment.


#2.  The sad, long journey of Oscar-winner Lou Gossett, Jr.

Poor Lou Gossett, Jr.  He just wanted to enjoy a nice beverage and bask in the glory of his Academy Award for AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN.  But I can see the future, Lou.  I'm looking into my crystal glass.  I see that you have an outrageous amount of acting ability, and yet I see...  I see four IRON EAGLES.  I see a FIREWALKER.  I see a straight-to-video LEFT BEHIND sequel.  Get out!  Escape JAWS 3-D before it's too late!!  Aieee!!!

The first time we see Lou, he's looking at a pyramid of water skiers through a pair of binoculars.


He lowers them, and we are privy to the following expression:

He knows.  He knows.  And it's too late.

In any event, Gossett is permitted to voice his disdain at one point, and using words from the script:

Don't talk to Lou Gossett about some damn shark's mother. 

You kept your dignity, Lou.  Hold your head high!  (Also, this film begins what should have been one of the great partnerships––Gossett and Quaid––who would wow us in '85 with the often overlooked sci-fi masterpiece, ENEMY MINE.)

#1.  The Sublime and Glorious Death of Jaws 3 (D).

'Nuff said.  Two and a half stars.  This may be controversial, but I say it's slightly better than JAWS 2, though not quite as delightfully nonsensical and trainwreck-worthy as JAWS 4: THE REVENGE.  Obviously, none of these sequels should be uttered within the same breath as their progenitor.

–Sean Gill

Only now does it occur to me... BLUE CHIPS

Only now does it occur to me...  that BLUE CHIPS is all about setting new standards.  One is the O'Neal/O'Neill standard:  never before or since have Shaquille and Ed put aside their spelling differences and graced the screen together.
Then, there's Nick Nolte, setting a new standard for how we "storm out of a room."  Before BLUE CHIPS, we only had "slamming the door," "dropping the mic," and "throwing your drink in someone's face" at our disposal.  Nick Nolte boldly adds "wreaking havoc on a water cooler" to the list.  I know I'll never storm out of a room the same way again!


 
 
 
 

Only now does it occur to me... ENEMY MINE

Only now does it occur to me...  that ENEMY MINE is one of the great, largely unsung 1980s science fiction flicks.

Let me give you the rundown– as a kind of brilliant combination of ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS and THE DEFIANT ONES, ENEMY MINE has got all the requirements for solid 80s sci-fi:

#1.  Critters.


Courtesy of the creature shop of FX legend Chris Walas (GREMLINS, THE FLY, DRAGONSLAYER, ARACHNOPHOBIA, SCANNERS).  Pictured above is a kind of Sarlaac-y thing that nearly devours Dennis Quaid, but Walas' finest work is on the Draconians, the lead alien species in the film

(demonstrated here by the always fantastic Lou Gossett, Jr.), whose pulsating nodules and detailed reptilian skin is a testament to the genius of practical effects and the patience of actors.

Also, as more Draconians appear throughout the film, I realized that the species was obviously a trial run for Walas' work on the Mugwumps six years later in David Cronenberg's NAKED LUNCH:



#2.  Heart.

Though marketed to a younger, thrill-seeking demographic, ENEMY MINE is a thoughtful rumination on a number of subjects, including racial and religious tolerance, the rigidity of gender roles, war profiteering, and institutionalized hate.  Like Peterson's prior THE NEVERENDING STORY– which trumpeted the power of imagination in a period of rank consumerism– ENEMY MINE has a big heart, and it's in the right place, too.  I was about to ask why this film isn't more widely known, and I think I just answered my own question.

#3. Dennis Quaid with a beard.

Like Kurt Russell, he's one of the rare actors who fits his beard like a glove.  Which just gave me the wild thought that this could have easily worked as a Kurt Russell vehicle with Keith David as the Draconian.

#4.  Brion James.

 'Cause it's just not a sci-fi actioner without him.  Playing a savage slaver/bandit kingpin, he's directly responsible for more than 90% of the crazy-eye in ENEMY MINE.


 James menaces Dennis Quaid.

Above, he's even 'replicating' (pun intended, I suppose) the pose and delivery of the famous "Wake up, time to die" scene in BLADE RUNNER:

James menaces Harrison Ford.

And though this film is more intellectual than the usual mainstream genre fare, it still manages to embrace the subtle joys of, say, Brion James dangling a child from a cyberpunky catwalk above a stream of lava, or whatever.

Also, Brion James probably should have been in TERMINATOR 2.

 Anyway, I suppose my point is this:  come for the social commentary, stay for the Brion James.

Film Review: THE PRINCIPAL (1987, Christopher Cain)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 109 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Directed by Christopher Cain (YOUNG GUNS, THE NEXT KARATE KID). Starring James Belushi, Michael Wright (STREAMERS, THE WANDERERS), Lou Gossett, Jr. (FIREWALKER, IRON EAGLE, JAWS 3-D), Rae Dawn Chong (TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE, HIGHBALL), Esai Morales (FREEJACK, LA BAMBA).
Tag-line: "Rick Latimer had nothing to lose...until he was given the one job nobody else dared take."
Best one-liner: "Lighten up! Have some courage. Brave it through a little bit. Knives only hurt if they go through you. Urine only smells if you don't clean it up. Come on!"

Once there was this guy, this teacher (James Belushi), who possessed a steadfast resolve, an ironclad constitution, and a giant ball bat. Sometimes he would get so worked up about the state of things that he would destroy a Porsche or go to a bar before it opened, stack a bunch of rocks glasses into a pyramid, and knock 'em down in frustration.

He's also the kind of guy who'd ride a motorcycle down a school hallway if the situation called for it.

Anyway, this teacher screwed up one time too many, so the the smartass powers that be decided to promote him to principal at Brandel High.

For those not familiar, Brandel is that high school where the faculty (including gutsy waif Rae Dawn Chong)

is held in the grip of terror by a gang of 30-year old kids with fringe jackets and Lionel Ritchie mullets. Belushi's retort: "NO MORE."

He commences to whip the students into a frenzy, say things like "They're gonna like you in prison, Victor, you might even get a surprise up that wise little ass of yours," and breaks up a drug deal by driving by on his motorcycle with his ball bat and smashing their Coors Lights and their crack baggies (in that order). He teams up with the head of security, Lou Gossett, Jr.

(who had tempered the hubris of an Oscar win with the embarrassment of JAWS 3-D and FIREWALKER), and they raise holy hell in the name of literacy, straight-talk, and NO MORE. In short, this movie is terrific.

Now, there are a few nagging questions here:

#1. If the students are not afraid of committing rape, robbery, and murder, then why do they show up to class? (See: CLASS OF 1984, THE SUBSTITUTE, et al.)

#2. How is it possible that Golan and Globus had nothing to do with this production?

Perhaps a villainous Jheri curl link between Michael Wright here and Mario van Peebles in EXTERMINATOR 2?

And #3. Why isn't this movie called "El Principal?" (The name the Cholo mechanics respectfully airbrush on Belushi's hawg and helmet). Well, THE PRINCIPAL doesn't care. And by extension, I don't either. My only regret is that they never made one of these flicks starring Bob Mitchum. But this is a solid (and surprisingly serious, at times) entry in the genre. Four stars.

-Sean Gill