Only now does it occur to me... THE NEW KIDS (1985)

Only now does it occur to me... that Sean S. Cunningham has more up his sleeve than merely dead camp counselors, rip-offs of THE ABYSS, or haunted house movies with CHEERS cast members. No, he's an, um, sophisticated filmmaker capable of crafting an elegant revenge-drama/thriller/'80s bully movie. Allow me to present: the six most remarkable things about Sean S. Cunningham's THE NEW KIDS. 

#1. He chooses to begin with a workout/strength-training montage set to the sultry tunes of Lalo Schifrin. 

 

A bold move, because it's the sort of thing that usually occurs at the end of a movie's second act, right before the heavyweight champion bout or whatever. You'll note that we're looking at FULL HOUSE's Lori Laughlin, there on the left (and on the far right is Shannon Presby, essentially a poor man's Michael Biehn, who is playing her brother). In the center is their dad, played by

#2. Tom mutherluvin' Atkins, of "John Carpenter/LETHAL WEAPON/NIGHT OF THE CREEPS/everything good in this world" fame.

Don't get too excited, though, because he's not long for this world. That's right––General Tom Atkins gets a heart-stringy farewell

 

before being killed, offscreen, in a car accident. The now-orphaned siblings leave to live with their sketchy uncle at his dilapidated creepy Christmas theme park in the middle of nowhere. As transplants in a small southern town, they have now become the eponymous... "new kids."

#3. James Spader. When I heard James Spader played a bully in a film called THE NEW KIDS, I assumed that it was set at a Bret Easton Ellis yuppie/boarding school/douchebag academy.  I was picturing LESS THAN ZERO, I guess.

Nope, here he has a spotty southern accent, a subpar dye job, a car on cement blocks in his yard, and spends his free time tormenting new kids and taking potshots at pesky varmints. As everyone knows, '80s Spader is the Platonic ideal of "bully," though, so obviously he really turns it up to eleven. You could even say his entire performance is the embodiment of the moment in Tim Burton's BATMAN when Michael Keaton says, "You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!"

And was there any question that his character would be a cokehead?

This is a very subtle movie, is what I'm saying.

So Spader and his bully gang launch a campaign of terror against the new kids, at one point even killing their beloved pet bunny in a moment that is very proto-FATAL ATTRACTION. As a part of this campaign, the movie must reckon with

#4. Toxic masculinity. So Spader's gang o' yuppies-attempting-Southern-accents is meant to be sexually inappropriate in their interactions with Lori Laughlin. Because this was the same decade that brought us plenty of sexual misconduct and outright assault packaged as the acceptable teenage experience (i.e., SIXTEEN CANDLES, PORKY'S, REVENGE OF THE NERDS, et al.), this meant that they really had to overplay it to signify that these were Bad Guys. Because, for instance, almost every '80s teen movie had a scene where a guy asked out a girl and refused take "no" for an answer––and often was rewarded and lauded for his persistence––how could THE NEW KIDS possibly demonstrate an example of said behavior being "bad?" Well, this particular member of Spader's gang begins with dogfight invitations,

moves on to hair-licking,

and quickly escalates with death threats.

Here's how they differentiate Spader's stalking from, say, John Cusack's in SAY ANYTHING:




The only real difference between these scenes and the ones from, perhaps, a John Hughes film, is of degree.

#5. Eric Stoltz. As the "ginger nerd" who romances Lori Laughlin and attempts to save her from a gang of would-be rapists at a school dance, this sort of affords us a glimpse of what it would have been like to see Eric Stoltz play Marty McFly in BACK TO THE FUTURE.

Though I count myself a Stoltz fan, I absolutely think Zemeckis made the right call in replacing him with Michael J. Fox––Stoltz has a sweet, hangdog vibe that doesn't quite match the likability Fox projects so effortlessly. I imagine a Stoltz BACK TO THE FUTURE would have been a slower burn, with its Oedipal scenarios turned excruciatingly awkward. It would probably have a cult following, but I really don't think it would have been the epochal sort of classic that it remains today.

Anyway, that's just rank speculation. So here's a screengrab of Stoltz falling victim to "the ol' crouch n' shove."


#6. Finally, you know what, this gets its own slot: James Spader lighting the stream on a gas pump and turning it into a makeshift flamethrower for purposes of trying to murder Aunt Becky.



That about sums it up, ladies and gentlemen. THE NEW KIDS.

Film Review: CHARLEY VARRICK (1973, Don Siegel)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 111 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Walter Matthau (CHARADE, THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE), Joe Don Baker (WALKING TALL, MITCHELL), John Vernon (SAVAGE STREETS, DIRTY HARRY), Andy Robinson (DIRTY HARRY, HELLRAISER), Sheree North (THE OUTFIT, THE SHOOTIST), Norman Fell (THE GRADUATE, THE KILLERS), Felicia Farr (KOTCH, 3:10 TO YUMA), Craig R. Baxley (also did the stunts and directed ACTION JACKSON and many episodes of THE A-TEAM). Music by Lalo Schifrin (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE, DIRTY HARRY, THE MANITOU). Written by Dean Riesner (DIRTY HARRY, PLAY MISTY FOR ME, FATAL BEAUTY) and Howard Rodman (COOGAN'S BLUFF, MADIGAN), and adapted from the novel THE LOOTERS by John Reese.
Tag-line: "When he runs out of dumb luck he always has genius to fall back on!"
Best one-liner: "Sooner or later, you're gonna tell me everything you know. So why not save yourself a great deal of pain, tell me now."

Don Siegel is the man. And CHARLEY VARRICK just might be his amoral, cutthroat masterpiece. THE KILLERS' hitmen protagonists, DIRTY HARRY's mildly fascist sensibilities, and COOGAN'S BLUFF's hateful 'tude toward the Love Generation were just pit stops on the way.

The late 60's and early 70's were chock full of gritty flicks like this; take-no-prisoners crime films populated by brutal, pistol-whippin', lady-slappin' sons-o-bitches: THE OUTFIT (with VARRICK co-stars Sheree North and Joe Don Baker), POINT BLANK, Bava's KIDNAPPED, PRIME CUT, THE MECHANIC, MEAN STREETS, GET CARTER, THE YAKUZA...I could go on.


Walter Matthau, as 'Charley Varrick,' is a gum-chewing, calculating, mercenary thief. His gang kills cops like some people check their watch, and they're willing to risk it all for a measley couple of grand from a local bank in Buttfuck, New Mexico. The only problem is it just happened to be a mob front, and they've ended up with three-quarters of a million dollars.

(But was it truly coincidence? See if you can determine the answer from Charley's unceasingly indifferent gaze.) But he's not a maniac. Far from it. He's perhaps the most rational being on the planet- completely committed to creating a plan that will ensure his survival during the certainly impending shitstorm. Said storm involves a totally dickish, crooked bank exec (John Vernon, who's played some of the best a-holes of all time):

a blundering gang member (played by Andy Robinson, the simperlingly psychotic 'Scorpio Killer' from DIRTY HARRY):

and the equally amoral but far more vicious "Molly" (Joe Don Baker), who is without a doubt the inspiration for Cormac McCarthy's killing machine, "Anton Chigurh":

(A lot here seems like the direct inspiration for NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.) In fact, this film so openly flouts Hollywood rules and convention, that, as you watch it, you can literally feel its reverberations on American cinema through the years since. Tarantino, the Coen brothers, Christopher Nolan (THE DARK KNIGHT's clown-masked bank theft of mob money opening pays homage), and many others -some openly, and some not- have dug deep into the many layers of VARRICK and extracted little bits here and there for their own purposes. But it’s such an epic, cynical tour-de-force, that no amount of depths-trolling can deaden its punch-in-the-guts impact (or the fact that the finale astonishingly involves a '67 Chrysler Imperial versus a biplane).

Five stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 103 minutes.
Tag-line: "They hunted each other as enemies...they tormented each other as savages...they faced each other as men!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Lee Marvin. Toshiro Mifune. Music by Lalo Schifrin. Cinematography by Conrad L. Hall (COOL HAND LUKE, FAT CITY, TEQUILA SUNRISE).

Summer's coming up, so I'd like to devote at least a portion of the following few months to terrific "Summer Movies." For my purposes, a "summer movie" doesn't necessarily have to be actually set in the summer, though films which are incredibly evocative of the season itself warrant special consideration. On the whole, these are films best seen on hot, muggy nights when you're sprawled on the couch before an oscillating fan (because when you turn on the air conditioner it blows a circuit), sipping on an ice cold Yuengling, and perhaps accompanied by a sleazy super-nacho platter. Movies of this genre which I've already covered include HEARTBREAK RIDGE, BULLETPROOF, DEATH WISH III, EXTREME PREJUDICE, MR. MAJESTYK, THE LAST SHARK, and countless others. They can and will include everything from BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA to EYE OF THE TIGER to THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI to anything and everything featuring Clint Eastwood and/or an orangutan.

For those who haven't seen today's film, I don't wish to reveal too much about it, so I'll tiptoe around the plot itself. With HELL IN THE PACIFIC, Boorman shines at the two things he does best: portraying ordinary men in extraordinary survival situations, and working with Lee Marvin. As far as I'm concerned, this Boorman, the maker of POINT BLANK and DELIVERANCE, is the only true Boorman. The maker of ZARDOZ and EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC is somebody else entirely (and he genuinely apologized for them on the commentary tracks of those films, so, you're off the hook, John, and a bigger man than most).

The phrase 'tour-de-force performance' gets bandied about fairly often, and with an even greater frequency on films with two-person casts or those of a survival nature, so it should come as no surprise that I'm going to label what Marvin and Mifune do here as a tour-de-force. It's an excellent choice of actors, as Marvin and Mifune represent for their respective countries a very dignified, mature, in-control persona that can spin into unhinged rage or laid back joviality in a mere instant. They can effortlessly exude vulnerability and menace- an entire gamut of complex emotions- and often they express them simultaneously, a feat which only the rare actor can accomplish with such subtlety and elegance.


And you believe it. There is nothing in this film that will strain your suspension of disbelief. Everything is natural, REAL. It's remarkably visceral; you can almost taste the briny sting of the sea water, feel the sun relentlessly beating down on their backs, the sweat, the parched lips, the hoarse throats.


Boorman immerses us in this world, and very gradually transitions the narrative from start to finish– for its primal rages and thrashing survivalism, this is a very, very graceful film, filled to the brim with the stylistic touches and unorthodox editing choices that made POINT BLANK brilliant and transformed the outlooks of next generation filmmakers like Steven Soderbergh. A masterpiece, an allegory, and a tale of two men's attempts at survival. And make sure you watch the alternate ending, it's far superior and more consistent in tone with the rest of the film.

-Sean Gill

Junta Juleil's Summer '10 Movie Series
1. HELL IN THE PACIFIC (1968, John Boorman)
2. ...

Film Review: THE MANITOU (1978, William Girdler)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 104 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Tony Curtis (SOME LIKE IT HOT, SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS), Michael Ansara (IT'S ALIVE, THE OUTER LIMITS: SOLDIER- the basis for THE TERMINATOR), Susan Strasberg (THE DELTA FORCE, PICNIC), Stella Stevens (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE, CHAINED HEAT), Jon Cedar (CAPRICORN ONE, FOXY BROWN), Ann Southern (FOOTLIGHT PARADE, A LETTER TO THREE WIVES), Burgess Meredith (ROCKY, THE TWILIGHT ZONE). Music by Lalo Schifrin.
Tag-line: "Evil does not die... It waits to be re-born!"
Best one-liner: "Gichi Manitou? Harry, you don't call Gichi Manitou. He...." –"Oh, yeah, well he's going to get a person to person call from me....collect!"

Not everyone is ready to just dash headlong into this freaky beast.

But I'm here to tell you that studies have found THE MANITOU to be non-habit-forming and completely safe when used as directed. Side effects may include a more enlightened view of the universe. Also, the forces of the Manitou apparently counteract the effects of Alka-Seltzer (there is actually a scene devoted to this). So let's take this nice and easy, in steps:

#1. Faux-psychic Tony Curtis ends a session with an old biddy.

As soon as she leaves, he flings off his druid robes, removes his fake 'stache, pumps up the power on some thumping disco, and exquisitely sips from a wine glass filled with Coors.

Click on the pictures for a larger view.



So damn satisfying.

#2. Susan Strasberg nonchalantly describes the GIGANTIC, terrifying, fetus-encasing tumor on her neck-

"Ohhhh, I guess I've had it about 3 days...it kind of moves sometimes...4 or 5 times a day...feels kinda like someone turning over in bed..."

So nonchalant. Your pappy Lee taught ya well.

#3. Burgess Meredith mutters and mumbles and improvises and holy shit- it's like watching one of the great jam bands play a set- except instead of the Allmans riffin' on a groove, it's Burgess Meredith jammin' with the English language!


#4. Bogart said "the whole world is 3 drinks behind." Well, the entire cast of THE MANITOU is about 3 'ludes AHEAD, and consequently have a tough time differentiating between 'mind-numbing shock' and 'complete boredom.'

This is how I react when I see a giant Native American head made of tar slowly rising out of the dining room table.

#5. By the time we get to the denouem- JOHNNNN SINGING ROCK!

Medicine man!

A totally ripped, naked Native American dwarf fighting naked, bedridden Strasberg with laser fingers IN SPACE!!



Typewriters! Lizard fantasies! More lasers!

HALLUCINATORY LIZARD....THAT BITES!

Giant vagina in the sky shooting asteroids! Fireballs! A rehash of 2001's trippy finale!

"PANAH WITCHY SALATU! PANAH WITCHY SALATU! PANAH WITCHY SALATU!!!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Whew. Let me catch my breath. This thing makes ROBOT JOX look like a Merchant/Ivory production. I'm speechless. Just, uh... Um, make sure you've truly readied your mind and body before you give this a spin. Now I'm doin' the six-gin stumble. Need to lie down for a minute. Yes...

-Sean Gill


2009 Halloween Countdown OVERFLOW

1. [•REC] (2007, Jaume Balagueró & Paco Plaza)
2. THE MANITOU (1978, William Girdler)
3.
...