Only now does it occur to me... SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (1991)

Only now does it occur to me... that SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY tries to do for drinking fountains what PSYCHO did for showers!

To illustrate my point, here are a few screen captures from two separate scenes in the film, both featuring the delightfully psychopathic Irish character actor Patrick Bergin (PATRIOT GAMES, LAWNMOWER MAN 2), of whom I had never taken particular notice.  My mistake.  This guy is fantastic.





He's fully and incredibly committed to his scary fountain slurping. Those are, I dare say, Eric Roberts levels of commitment.  In one scene, he screams "LAURA!  LAURA! LAURA!" over and over, probably thirty times, each time as impassioned as the first.

There's another drinking fountain scene with Julia Roberts in raggedy drag, unaware that (her stalker ex-husband) Bergin is in line behind her.


Immediately thereafter, the drinking fountain (who by now is, for all intents and purposes, a character in the film) takes revenge by squirting Bergin in the eye.

Whereupon he reacts with appropriate menace.

Scary stuff!  In case you were wondering what all this is about, SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY (directed by Joseph Ruben, who did THE STEPFATHER) is one of those early 1990s "domestic thrillers" that were so ubiquitous to the period (see also: MALICE, PACIFIC HEIGHTS, PRESUMED INNOCENT, PAST MIDNIGHT, BITTER MOON, THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE, CONSENTING ADULTS, etc., etc.).

Julia Roberts plays a bored yuppie housewife who is not merely bored, but in fact the captive of her terrifying OCD yuppie husband (Bergin) who is equal measures "violent Bret Easton Ellis character" and "militant neat freak."  Here he is discovering a slightly misaligned bathroom towel.  (Spoiler alert: it was Julia's fault!)




There's a surprisingly solid Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack in here too, but mostly SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY is a vehicle for Bergin to glower into the distance with a deranged expression.

This deranged expression.

Honestly, I only rented this movie because I was hoping for some "schmacting" flourishes from Julia Roberts (in the vein of THE PELICAN BRIEF) but the truth is she puts in a solid turn.  Instead, I ended up one Bergin the richer!

Only now does it occur to me... THE PELICAN BRIEF

Only now does it occur to me...  that you must repeatedly watch the following clip, apropos of nothing:

As far as 90s John Grisham movies with all-star casts go, I don't rate this one as highly as THE FIRM or THE CLIENT, but it's a nice Southern-Fried Hitchcock-style thriller (not to be confused with Crawdad-Lickin' Southern-Fried Sleaze-O-Rama, unfortunately) with a solid James Horner score and nice bit parts from the likes of John Lithgow, Anthony Heald, William Atherton, and Stanley Tucci.  Carry on.

Only now does it occur to me... PRETTY WOMAN

Only now does it occur to me... that PRETTY WOMAN is a remake of... CROCODILE DUNDEE!

Okay, so here goes:  wealthy, New York professional (exec Richard Gere in PRETTY WOMAN, reporter Linda Kozlowski in CROCODILE DUNDEE) who works a job they existentially-but-not-yet-consciously dislike thanks to a controlling father (Gere's dad left him the company-buying business in PRETTY WOMAN, Kozlowski's dad owns Newsday in DUNDEE) travels a great distance (L.A. in PRETTY WOMAN, Australia in DUNDEE) to meet a charming-yet-seedy underdog (back alley sex worker Julia Roberts in PRETTY WOMAN, outback madman Paul Hogan in DUNDEE) whose services they hire out for a sum ($3,000 in PRETTY WOMAN, $2,500 in DUNDEE), and after a week of awkward interactions with elitist yuppies, they fall in love, nearly break up due to a misunderstanding, and then get back together, cemented by a grand romantic gesture on the part of the New York professional.


 
 

But wait, there's more:  here are the TOP 3 INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC SIMILARITIES BETWEEN PRETTY WOMAN AND CROCODILE DUNDEE ASIDE FROM THE PLOT, THE CHARACTERS, AND EVERYTHING ELSE I ALREADY DESCRIBED:

#3.  While put up in a fancy hotel by the New York professional, the charming-yet-seedy underdogs both see fit to watch reruns of I LOVE LUCY.

 
 

#2.  Then, the charming-yet-seedy underdog takes a luxurious bubble bath, and sings aloud, only to be discovered by their New York professional who finds the behavior to be extraordinarily endearing.

#1.  Finally, and most incredibly, both films present a pair of friendly streetwalkers who

 (nevermind that it's a bit part in DUNDEE and our main characters in PRETTY WOMAN)

lead us to an alleyway confrontation with low-level pimps


I really want you to take note of the skateboard switchblade.... which might I add is not a knife, because THAT is a knife.

that ends with our hero being rescued by his chaffeur/sidekick.

Reginald VelJohnson in DUNDEE.

 

 R. Darrell Hunter in PRETTY WOMAN.

That's what I call pretty fuckin' specific.  Therefore, I believe my case is closed, and from this point forward, instead of referring to PRETTY WOMAN as "a benchmark for 90's romantic comedy," "the Julie Roberts sex worker movie," or "obligatory date night viewing," we can now refer to it by its proper title:  "the American remake of CROCODILE DUNDEE."

Only now does it occur to me... CONSPIRACY THEORY

Only now does it occur to me...  that CONSPIRACY THEORY is one of the best documentaries of the 1990s.

It presents a complicated portrait of its subject, Mel Gibson, who, between films, supplements his income by working as a cabbie in New York City and peddling conspiracy theories to anyone who'll listen.  It explains how it was traces of government mind control conditioning that led to his mastery of the crazy-eye in the LETHAL WEAPON series (and beyond)
 

And how he used the art of collage to mend his wounded mind.
 
In its torture scenes  (this documentary contains not one, but two lengthy Gibson torture scenes!), it reveals the reasons behind Gibson's life-long obsession with sadomasochism (LETHAL WEAPON 1-4, RANSOM, PAYBACK, BRAVEHEART, THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, et al.)
 
 The 'ole scotch tape on the eyeballs maneuver 

and in its capturing of the paranoid mindset, it shows that there are truly sinister cabals everywhere,

mostly of the sort that cause Gibson to wander out of a hospital and pop up, unannounced, in the backseat of your automobile.

In closing, it certainly ranks high among other Joel Silver-produced documentaries– such as the story of cryogenically frozen supercop John Spartan (as explored in DEMOLITION MAN), the quirky study of a musically inclined cat burglar (in HUDSON HAWK), and the exploits of a brassy bouncer who tames dirty bars (in ROAD HOUSE).