Film Review: DEATH WARRANT (1990, Deran Sarafian)

Stars: 4 of 5.

Running Time: 89 minutes.

Tag-line: "He loves a good fight."

Notable Cast or Crew: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Cynthia Gibb (SHORT CIRCUIT 2, YOUNGBLOOD), Robert Guillaume (BENSON, BIG FISH), George Dickerson (Laura Dern's dad from BLUE VELVET, DEATH WISH 4), Art LaFleur (COBRA, FIELD OF DREAMS), Joshua John Miller (TEEN WITCH, NEAR DARK), Abdul Salaam El Razzac (GLORY, TERMINATOR 2), Larry Hankin (ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ, HOME ALONE), Al Leong (DIE HARD, LETHAL WEAPON, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA), and Patrick Kilpatrick (LAST MAN STANDING, ERASER).  Written by David S. Goyer (THE DARK KNIGHT, BLADE, BATMAN BEGINS).  Produced by Mark DiSalle (KICKBOXER, BLOODSPORT) and Andrew G. La Marca (ROBOCOP 3, TIMEBOMB).  Directed by Deran Sarafian (ALIEN PREDATOR, INTERZONE, TERMINAL VELOCITY).  Cinematography by Russell Carpenter (CRITTERS 2, TRUE LIES, Oscar-winner for TITANIC).

Best One-liner:  "I don't pay... I don't punk!"

DEATH WARRANT holds the wonderful distinction of being a "lost" Cannon Film.  "Lost" not in that it was ever missing– only in that though Cannon actually produced it, it doesn't have this wonderful beacon of light shining the way to its first reel:

The way I understand it, it was written and shot as "DUSTED" from a script by USC student David S. Goyer (who went on to write the BLADE series and co-write the Nolan BATMAN movies), but post-production, Cannon underwent its first bankruptcy and split up the Go-Go boys (which led to the whole Yoram Globus' LAMBADA vs. Menahem Golan's THE FORBIDDEN DANCE IS LAMBADA fiasco) and MGM ended up with most of the Cannon library.  (Golan took over the 21st Century Film Corporation from 1990-1996 and Globus limped along with a scaled-back version of Cannon Films till 1994.)  Whew.

To make a long story short, the completed DUSTED was left in the hands of MGM's distribution wing who changed the title to DEATH WARRANT, and the rest is history.  So I guess you could say Cannon Films is DEATH WARRANT's common law husband–  only because Golan and Globus weren't able to put that beautiful Cannon ring on DEATH WARRANT's dainty finger and make an honest woman of her.

 Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.

Now that you know DEATH WARRANT is actually a Cannon Film in disguise, it will make a little more sense that it seems to be a loose, prison-set reimagining of COBRA, with elements of CYBORG, RUNAWAY TRAIN, and MURPHY'S LAW thrown in for good measure.  It's sort of an artsy affair, too, featuring a lot of nice lighting and well-framed shots, courtesy of future Oscar-winning DP Russell Carpenter.


Here, JCVD is "Louis Burke," a happy-go-lucky French Canadian cop ("This is L.A., not Canada– we have procedures here!") hot on the trail of the indestructible "Sandman" (Patrick Kilpatrick), a madman who commands a criminal army.  If you think that sounds exactly like Stallone's "Marion 'Cobra' Cobretti" seeking the superhuman "Night Slasher" (Brian Thompson) and his axe-wielding brigade in COBRA, you'd be exactly right.  But let me ask you:  did COBRA have a scene where Cobra and the Night Slasher almost kissed?

See?  Totally different movie.

 As if it wasn't 'COBRA enough' already, the film also co-stars Art LaFleur as an abusive prison guard:

 whom you may recognize as Stallone's crusty Captain in COBRA, among other roles.

Anyway, the film diverges somewhat from COBRA when JCVD goes undercover in prison ("You're from Quebec, no one will recognize you!") to investigate a totally separate case that involves prisoners being mysteriously murdered for their body parts.  Helping on the case is Cynthia Gibb (SHORT CIRCUIT 2, YOUNGBLOOD)
 
who fills in for the JCVD trope of a no-nonsense, spunky female reporter (here, a no-nonsense, spunky cop).

JCVD gets some obligatory "naked solitary confinement" in there:

(What is this, the prison from DEMOLITION MAN?)

and everything seems to be going fine, but, of course, the line "You're from Quebec, no one will recognize you" doesn't always hold up, and...  enter, Sandman!  (Cue obligatory JCVD/Christ torture scene– as seen in every single other Van Damme film.)

 

JCVD has a big showdown with the Sandman, there's a prison riot, and then the film conveniently forgets about three or four plotlines (including the body-part-stealing mystery that he infiltrated the prison to solve in the first place) and the "Big Bad" who we never suspected appears to get away with his crimes scot free because we were all distracted by how awesome JCVD's climactic fight with the Sandman was.

and the flaming Jean-Claude crazy face– that's sort of distracting, too.

So that's the film in a nutshell– now on to the minutiae I so adore:


#1.  Jazz-Casual Van Damme.

In one of his first scenes, JCVD appears at the police station with a spring in his step.  It's character development time, and they need to establish that he's a free n' loose n' bushy-tailed kinda guy who saunters around to jazzy MIDI tracks and is all hugs and high-fives and handshakes.  Who needs to be the life of the party when you're the life of the office?  I have chronicled the beauty of this moment in a clip I have entitled "JCVD starts his day nice n' breezy."

If I had one wish, it would be that I could wake up every morning feeling like THAT (and to that music).

#2.  Joshua John Miller.  Son of Father Karras from THE EXORCIST (Jason Miller) and sometimes known as "that weird kid from the 80s" from his appearances in TEEN WITCH, RIVER'S EDGE, NEAR DARK, CLASS OF 1999, and HALLOWEEN III. 

Here he plays the "hacker kid" archetype (do we blame WARGAMES for this?) who assists Cynthia Gibb in her prison research.  He gets to be smarmy and nerdy and hits on an older woman, so there's that.

#3.  George Dickerson.

Best known (to me) for playing Laura Dern's father in BLUE VELVET, George Dickerson was already a Cannon alumnus (he's in DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN), and he excels at playing benevolent authority figures with a little something "off."  I can't tell if that extra something is added by an unintentional streak of 'bad acting' or if it's evidence of subtle genius at play.  Either way, the end result is the same:  George Dickerson is terrific.

#4.  Frightening Sandman One-Liners.

Anything and everything you would expect is here, from "Time to go to sleep!"  to "Bring me a dream, Burke.... BRING ME A DREAM!"  You'll be reciting this stuff for weeks.

#5. Jean-Claude don't pay– and he don't punk!

Ah, Day 1 of prison.   JCVD's new roomie– played by poor man's David Patrick Kelly and pleather vest aficionado Conrad Dunn– tells him to get on his knees and give him a beej–

but being a street smart kind of guy, JCVD manhandles him and explains:

"I don't pay... I don't punk."  To which the new roomie replies:  "I was just jerkin' you around– you don't have to be a hairball about it."  God Bless Cannon Films.

#6.  The magical prison-basement drag-queen underworld ("You gotta cover your ass down here– literally!"), which totally recalls the "descent into the Kumite underworld" sequence in BLOODSPORT.  I swear it's intentional.

Past the chiffon curtains, there's a kind of improbable "anything goes" zone, where there's free and easy access to makeup and costume jewelry and vanity mirrors and headshot photographers and the like.

The domain is ruled by the pimp king "Priest" (brilliant character actor Abdul Salaam El Razzac) who, like Gary Oldman in TRUE ROMANCE, is a little terrifying and likable at the same time.  He's pictured here, between the bored-lookin' gal on the left and the Rick James-inspired courtesan on the right.

With intensity and eventual pathos, he carves his own niche out of DEATH WARRANT and turns it into the Abdul Salaam El Razzac Acting Workshop.  Nice job!

#7.  So there's no Danny Trejo.  Which I think is actually a violation of the "Danny Trejo Must Appear in Every Movie Where There's a Scene in a Prison" Act of 1985, signed into law by President Reagan.  But, thanks to a loophole in the "If There's Action of Any Kind, There's Al Leong" Amendment to the Constitution, we at least get Al in there.

Nice to see you, Al.  Now go fight Van Damme- he's got a hold of a mop handle!

#8.  Barbel fight.  The fights get pretty creative in DEATH WARRANT.  And frankly, two dudes trying to kill each other with free weights grabs the attention

(and Jean-Claude gets out of this unfortunate barbel-to-the-throat predicament by... grabbin' some nuts).

#9.  Also, broken lightbulb knife fight.

"Time to bleeeeed!"  This should be fairly self-explanatory, but that doesn't make it any less fantastic.

#10.  No splits.  Damn!  

Sure, JCVD gets plenty of kick-blasting opportunities for leg extension

but never actually does one of his trademark splits.  The sad thing is, there's a scene where JCVD hides from prison guards atop an ventilation shaft which was clearly tailor-made for an acrobatic JCVD split.

 See?

Ah, well.  Still, I gotta give this thing four stars.

–Sean Gill

Film Review: NEAR DARK (1987, Kathryn Bigelow)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 94 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Directed by Kathryn Bigelow (THE LOVELESS, THE HURT LOCKER, POINT BREAK). Written by Bigelow and Eric Red (THE HITCHER, BODY PARTS). Music by Tangerine Dream. Starring Adrian Pasdar (SOLARBABIES, TOP GUN), Jenny Wright (PINK FLOYD'S THE WALL; I, MADMAN), Lance Henriksen (ALIENS, THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM), Bill Paxton (TRUE LIES, ALIENS), Tim Thomerson (DOLLMAN, TRANCERS), Joshua John Miller (TEEN WITCH, RIVER'S EDGE). Cinematography by Adam Greenberg (THE TERMINATOR, 10 TO MIDNIGHT, 3 MEN AND A BABY).
Tag-line: "Killing you would be easy, they'd rather terrify you...forever."
Best one-liner: "Caleb, those people back there, they wasn't normal. Normal folks, they don't spit out bullets when you shoot 'em, no sir." (Later paraphrased in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN.)

I'm sure a fair amount of you have seen NEAR DARK. For those who haven't, it's a two-fisted, shit-kickin' vampire Western that sort of combines all of my favorite things about THE LOST BOYS, Carpenter's VAMPIRES, and POINT BREAK. It slits your throat with a sharpened spur, sears your skin, and explodes in a grotesque display of vampiric immolation. Now, with that in mind, take a gander at the DVD re-release cover:

Sweet God- my worst fears realized- NEAR DARK appropriated by the lily-livered aficionados of TWILIGHT, CGI, and unbridled airbrushing! But it doesn't matter– here's nine reasons why, even if it's remade and/or commandeered by these knuckleheads, NEAR DARK will still live on as an 80's genre classic:

#1. The vampires' mode of travel: a beat-up, nasty old Recreational Vehicle.

There's no sugar-coating their nomadic, hand-to-fang, poverty-stricken existence. They cruise around in a pedophile-mobile with blacked-out windows cause they've got no other choice. No Gothic mansions, no Ann Ricey-TWILIGHTY-romanticized shenanigans- it's a daily struggle for survival that's closer to Buñuel's LAND WITHOUT BREAD or Marc Singer's DARK DAYS than some TRUE BLOOD wankfest. And the RV says it all.

#2. Hey, look, it's a James LeGros cameo!

If you can't appreciate the simple joy of an unexpected LeGros appearance, maybe you don't deserve to enjoy NEAR DARK. And Bigelow even spares him in the midst of a vampire rampage, thus continuing to prove my theory that anybody and everybody worth their salt has a soft spot for LeGros.

#3. The Tangerine Dream score. While on the whole it's not one of their very best scores (like their work on THIEF, FLASHPOINT, or THE PARK IS MINE), certain tracks- like "Bus Station"- possess a certain, fleeting atmospheric quality, like an entrancing invitation to a dangerous fairy-tale world. In short, it's the kind of music that, even though it's looping endlessly on the DVD menu, oddly, it doesn't bother you. In fact, you're looking for an excuse not to start the movie, cause you'd kind of like to listen to Tangerine Dream for just a little longer if ya don't mind.

#4. Tim Thomerson. Undervalued. Underused. Under-recognized.

And here in the kind of mainstream, stalwart, square-jawed, all-American farmer role he should have been booking more often. He's likeable, believable, and deserves to be a household name. And not just in Charles Band's household. Perhaps I exaggerate, but come on, let's hear it for Thomerson.

#5. Bill Paxton is loopier than a corkscrew.

I think that the critical acclaim for a show such as BIG LOVE has made the world, to some
extent, forget that Paxton made his name as one of the zaniest hombres this side of the Marx Brothers.

"I hate 'em when they ain't been shaved!" he laments (as he slurps the blood from an unkempt, hirsute biker). He dances, he prances, he lacerates necks with a sharpened spur. He blows air kisses, blows people away with a six-gun, and shouts "Bullseye!" afterwards. Why a vampire would need to resort to firearms is anybody's guess, but Paxton makes it so you don't really care so long as he keeps twirlin' em and verbalizin' his smart-assed remarks.

Something to ponder: are these the same pleather pants that reappear in BOXING HELENA?

"Finger-lickin' good!" he declares after a particularly fiendish bout of blood-drinking.

Bravo, Paxton. Bravo.

#6. Joshua John Miller. AKA 'The Creepy Kid from RIVER'S EDGE and TEEN WITCH. Other than David Bennent, I'm unsure I can think of anyone more qualified to play the role of 'irascible, centuries old vampire trapped in a child's body.'

#7. Adam Greenberg's cinematography.

Bigelow- via her then-paramour, James Cameron- had already got her hands on Paxton and Henriksen, so why not raid his DP, as well? Bigelow, originally a painter, has always been able to extract striking images from her cinematographers, and the magnificent visuals here are dusty, weather-beaten, and severe. And since I already mentioned that Bigelow was a painter, I'll also mention that her first studio was in an Off-Track Betting building. That's what NEAR DARK is, in a nutshell. Crude yet painterly visions transmitted directly from the scrap-paper and cigarette-butt strewn floors of an OTB. Print that in the paper.

#8. The way the vamps burn.

More like the spontaneous combustion of a back-alley wino than a poetic end to an aristocratic villain, the slow-motion searing and flaying of skin and the blackening of their shabby, smoldering rags makes for quite a memorable, mesmerizing visual despite the grotesquery, even though I'm not sure if grotesquery is, in fact, a real word.

#9. Lance Henriksen.

Gaunt, heavily scarred, possessing a wicked rat-tail, and at one point explaining that he's a Civil War veteran ("I fought for the South. We lost."), Henriksen is, as always, scary good. "Your skin is as soft as a preacher's belly," he can be heard to declare with the sort of impassive malevolence that defines his performance. His character, Jesse Hooker, is a sort of 'bottom line' kinda guy. He's not evil per se (although, uh, it is insinuated that he set the Great Chicago Fire of 1871), he just happens to look out for number one in such a way that he leaves a trail of massacred innocents and general sleazy vampire wreckage in his wake, wherever he goes, whenever he goes. He also cheekily spits up the bullets he's been shot with and uses them to taunt his adversaries.

Lance Henriksen: certainly deserving a place in the vampire hall-of-fame.

Four stars.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: HALLOWEEN III- SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982, Tommy Lee Wallace)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 98 minutes.
Tag-line: "..and now the earth will run with blood again!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Tom Atkins (THE FOG, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, LETHAL WEAPON), Dan O'Herlihy (TWIN PEAKS SEASON 2, ROBOCOP), Stacey Nelkin (THE JERK TOO, BULLETS OVER BROADWAY), Michael Currie (THE DEAD POOL, DEAD & BURIED), Ralph Strait (THE BEASTMASTER), Joshua John Miller (TEEN WITCH, RIVER'S EDGE), Essex Smith (CUTTER'S WAY, STIR CRAZY), and a vocal cameo by Jamie Lee Curtis. Music by John Carpenter and Alan Howarth. Produced by John Carpenter, Debra Hill, and Moustapha Akkad. Cinematography by Dean Cundey (THE THING, JURASSIC PARK). Special Effects by Jon G. Belyeu (EXTERMINATOR 2, THE GOONIES, TANGO & CASH).
Best one-liner: "I do love a good joke and this is the best ever: a joke on the children."

Judging this movie as a legitimate sequel to HALLOWEEN would be like judging FRANKENFISH as a sequel to JAWS. That being said, HALLOWEEN III is a surprisingly enjoyable dollop of Carpenter-Lite. Though collaborator Tommy Lee Wallace is credited as writer/director, even the non-fan can see Carpenter all over the place here. Now, I don't mean to presume anything about Mr. Wallace's authorship of the film, but, let's look at the facts- Carpenter produced. Carpenter did the music. Carpenter did an uncredited rewrite of the script. The cast and crew are populated with Carpenter cronies (and was even directed by one), including cinematographer Dean Cundey, who had already worked alongside Carpenter on five separate occasions. As such, calling this a "Carpenter film" is not exactly a stretch, and I'd go as far as to say it's essential viewing for not only Carpenter fans, but fans of 80's horror in general.

In terms of the backlash, clearly it revolves around the lack of Michael Myers; and, if you believe the urban legends, it resulted in crazed fans attacking the screen and demanding refunds, the likes of which hadn't been seen since the day Buñuel and Dali unveiled UN CHIEN ANDALOU. But you can't really blame Carpenter for trying to shake things up- he was disillusioned by the looming shadow of sequelitis, and, instead of endless riffs on the same, already tired, in fact, deceased (Michael Myers) motif, he envisioned a series of films which he could outsource/return to when he pleased, the only common link being that they took place on Halloween. Unfortunately, this didn't quite work out for him– HALLOWEEN III was a critical and financial failure. But allow me to present to you now twelve reasons why HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH is worth watching:

#1. Carpy's synthesized scare-twangs. Used to great effect in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, there's so many of them here, it's as if a 5-year old hopped-up on smack was let loose at the sound board during post. The word 'insane' doesn't even begin to describe it.

#2. The theft of Stonehenge, pixelated pumpkin graphics, black-gloved killers, eye-gouging, skull-crushing, and a man setting himself on fire. And all in the first 15 minutes! No, this wasn't made by Italians. And, believe me, the lunacy is by no means confined to the first quarter-hour:





And I like the way he wipes those gloves on the curtains.

#3. Babe magnet Tom Atkins.

In Carpenter films (i.e. this, THE FOG), eligible young ladies are drawn to Mr. Atkins like moths to a flame.


They fight being consumed with desire for his sheer perfection, but in the end, they fall like so many waifish, smitten dominoes. Umm....what?! Not to knock Tom Atkins. I mean, I like Tom Atkins. I like him A LOT. But I don't think he should reside in Plato's cave as the quintessence of the male specimen. Atkins even gets a bare ass shot here. I have two words for you, Carpy: 'MAN CRUSH?'

#4. Tom Atkins' alcoholism. Tom Atkins plays Dr. Challis, an alcoholic... I guess. I suppose he probably drinks too much, but it's not exactly a textbook case Evidently the novelization delves deeper into his dipsomania, but I've yet to read it for myself. In lieu of nuanced characterization, however, HALLOWEEN III offers a few brilliant surface elements which would seem to suggest problem drinking. For example, characters say lines like "Sierra Mesa still makin' you drink your ass off?," he requires a sixer of Miller High Life before leaving for a road trip:

Then, despite still having the sixer, upon arriving in Santa Mira, he expresses his intentions to obtain more alcohol before it gets too late (for the record, it's like 5:00 PM):

And then later, after having obtained said hooch, he sighs with disdain when a homeless man inquires whether or not he could have a sip from his bottle:


#5. And why not- in a trifecta of sheer Tom Atkins panache: the way that he emotes.


And we're not talking 'bad acting' or 'poor directing' or any of that jazz. It's a return to a more demonstrative mode of expression, and I like it. (See also: the original TWILIGHT ZONE series.)

#6. Finally a movie that villainizes the Irish as a race. And I love that in their evil little Irish town, it's just a lot of nondescript buildings with freshly painted signs that say things like "Shamrock Savings Bank" or "Dublin Inn."




Let the Irish lilts commence!

#7. In the tradition of police state announcements in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK (Debra Hill) and the automated chess game in THE THING (Adrienne Barbeau), Carpy gives Jamie Lee Curtis a voice cameo as the dystopian voice of Santa Mira which encourages its residents to follow the curfew and restrict their activities to indoors after dark.


#8. The villain's motive- he really just wants Halloween to be taken SERIOUSLY again. Well, this movie is certainly the perfect vehicle for that sentiment.

ZAPPPP!

#9. Dan O'Herlihy. Maybe you remember him as the 'Old Man' in ROBOCOP, 'Grig' in THE LAST STARFIGHTER, or as 'Andrew Packard' on TWIN PEAKS. He's an unbridled, intense, exquisite Irishman and one of the best character actors of the 1980's.

When he reads a line, he's not doing it for a paycheck, or just to get to the next, more important line– his eloquence is in the moment, and as such, he lives for every last fiendish syllable.

As the final act of HALLOWEEN III slides into James Bond territory, he carefully takes us from point A to B to C with spiffy menace and practical jokery. It's solid stuff.


#10. Dean Cundey's genius cinematography. The man is talented. And even as a Carpenter apologist par excellence, I would say that he submits imagery that perhaps outshines the material, channeling a little Tonino Delli Colli here and a little Dick Bush there, to great effect.



It's fantastic.

#11. The Silver Shamrock TV ads.

You could make a drinking game of this at your own risk. Regardless, they're cloyingly asinine, set to the tune of "London Bridge is Falling Down," and, depending on how you choose to count 'em, play between 15 and 20 times throughout! Some things you just gotta see for yourself.

They even drive Tom Atkins to drink:




#12. The abrupt, nutty, 100% Carpenter-style finale that's extremely and apocalyptically satisfying.


-Sean Gill