Film Review: FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM (1987, Jeff Burr)

AKA: THE OFFSPRING.
Stars: 3.5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Clu Gulager, Miriam Byrd-Nethery, Vincent Price, Terry Kiser, Lawrence Tierney (SILVER BULLET, RESERVOIR DOGS), Susan Tyrrell (BIG-TOP PEE-WEE, TAPEHEADS).
Tag-lines: "Fear......Times Four."
Best one-liner: "One thing I've learned, my dear, is that one is never too old for nightmares. "

"Welcome... to... Oldfield...eckk..." Wow. All is not right in the little hamlet of Oldfield, Tennessee, and what should clue you in is that its denizens include the legendary Vincent Price, a couple of members of the Gulager clan, Lawrence Tierney, and Terry Kiser (Bernie from WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S). But this film, from STEPFATHER II director and Gulager family friend Jeff Burr, is closer in character to an anthology of depressing O. Henry stories than TALES FROM THE CRYPT. And my nearly four-star rating is probably a bit misleading since it garners some extra stars from Clu and Vincent, and they're hardly in it. But I'm gonna go ahead and focus on the parts of the film they are in, cause, by gum, they're the best parts. Vincent functions here as Debbie Harry from TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE, if you will. He's just there for the frame story, which is kinda weak, and he's pretty decrepit, but goddammit, he's still VINCENT, and he's always amazing.


So let's get on to the meat of things, the segment which showcases the demented Gulagers, Clu and his wife Miriam Byrd-Nethery.

Their performances as elderly siblings are heartbreaking, and dripping with pathos: Clu the sad old man who pines for a young woman so much that he kills her and rapes the corpse, and Miriam the sad old woman who is in love with and demands to be frequently bathed by her brother. Instead of being delightfully demented or totally twisted, this piece is agonizing, somber, and it makes you feel kind of dirty.

It's art, to be sure, but damned if I could watch it again. And the Gulagers are so 'effin good that you empathize with each one to an absurd degree.

By the time Clu offs his sister, and the demon baby from the necrophilia session returns with a bone to pick, the rest of the movie doesn't matter.

This is all you need to know: the Gulagers are brilliant, and Price is still a legend. RIP Vincent and Miriam. Clu continues to appear with family members in totally whacked out films (most recently, the FEAST series).

-Sean Gill

Film Review: LEATHERFACE: TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 3 (1990, Jeff Burr)

Stars: 2 of 5.
Running Time: 85 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Ken Foree (DAWN OF THE DEAD, FROM BEYOND, THE WANDERERS), Miriam Byrd-Nethery (Clu Gulager's wife and star of SUMMER HEAT, DEADLY GAME, FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM), Viggo Mortensen (APPALOOSA, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, CRIMSON TIDE), Tom Everett (AIR FORCE ONE, DIE HARD 2, EERIE INDIANA), Duane Whitaker (Maynard in PULP FICTION, THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, HOBGOBLINS).
Tag-lines: "There's Roadkill All Over Texas." AND "The most controversial horror film ever is finally here." Ummm, not quite.
Best one-liner(s): "I like liver."

I'd like to preface this by saying that I respect director Jeff Burr (FROM A WHISPER TO A SCREAM, STEPFATHER II) as a person, and as a friend and promoter of the Gulager family, but LEATHERFACE: TCM III is an unadulterated mess- particularly in the wake of Hooper's initial TEXAS CHAINSAW masterpiece and his own uniquely-crafted Gran Guignol follow-up. Blandness and mediocrity rule the day here. They didn't even film it in Texas. It plays out like a vague remake of Part I, but eagerly subverts everything that made Part I work. Just because you smudge dirt on the face of a TJ Maxx model doesn't mean they can suddenly play "Texas Hillbilly Cannibal."


Chilling.

The Sawyer family home is not dingy, terrifying, or filled with big filthy chickens in tiny cages– instead, it looks like it could be featured in Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

Kinda looks like it could be in a gated community. Perhaps in a cul-de-sac?

Most of the cast is embarrassed and uncomfortable using words like "y'all," "ain't," and "darkie." Viggo Mortensen and Miriam Byrd-Nethery (R.I.P.) rise above the muck to deliver nuanced performances, but that doesn't change the fact that 'terrifying country bumpkin' Viggo has frosted blonde highlights and carefully blowdried hair.

I think I forgot to mention that Viggo's in partial drag sometimes, too. But instead of being scary, it's kind of whimsical, like SOME LIKE IT HOT or VICTOR/VICTORIA.

I guess Leatherface does some mean stylin' on the side. Speaking of Leatherface, it's almost like they had no concept of the character: here, he's basically just Frankenstein with a chainsaw. Oh, and he drives a car, listens to heavy metal, and plays with a child's computer.


Chilling.

It would have been better to just go the completely ridiculous route, like LEATHERFACE TAKES MANHATTAN or LEATHERFACE IN SPACE, rather than just limply rehash the original with groan-mustering elements. At least Ken Foree (Peter in DAWN OF THE DEAD, FROM BEYOND) is likable as a survivalist hero.

Ken Foree is a likable guy.

Overall, though, I can only give this two stars, and it earns both of them from the solid performances of some select actors.


Miriam Byrd-Nethery is a real trouper. You don't get to be Clu Gulager's wife by half-assing things.

My advice is to just pretend that Part II was the final installment of the series, and leave it at that.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: STEPFATHER II: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY (1989, Jeff Burr)

Stars: 4 of 5. Running Time: 93 minutes. Notable Cast or Crew: Terry O'Quinn, Miriam Byrd-Nethery, Meg Foster, Jonathan Brandis, Caroline Williams. Tag-line: " Tonight - Daddy's Coming Home - To Slice Up More Than Just The Cake!" Best one-liner(s): "I think it's time I cracked out this bottle–" [CRASH] AND "Well, my last house had a basement workshop... I like to work with my hands."

"MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY! MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY!" All Terry O'Quinn wants is a nice family, that's all he wants. I totally believe him, too. Each time he tries to make it work, they just keep disappointing him. If only they would just be the perfect family, just GIVE a little, instead of TAKE and TAKE and TAKE and TAKE, then Terry wouldn't have to murder them and start over. Make no mistake, the Stepfather is meant as the protagonist and the hero of these films. It was topical for the time, too. Lots of divorces, lots of remarriages, lots of stepfathers. And you know what, these stepfathers were getting the short end of the stick. They weren't getting a fresh start or a perfect family, they were getting a lot of smartass snot-nosed teens, sniffling and saying stuff like 'You're not my REAL dad!' And how are you supposed to deal with that? Well, watch the movie and find out.


This time around, Terry is trying to hook up with Meg Foster, sometimes known as "the evil chick from THEY LIVE." (It also features a rare appearance by Miriam Byrd-Nethery, legend in her own right and wife of Clu Gulager.) Anyway, a snot-nosed kid, a dippy ex-husband, a nosey neighbor later, and guess what happens. Yeah, the perfect family turned out to be a bunch of backstabbing a-holes.

They don't deserve you, Terry O'Quinn. Just pack up and walk away. I swear, there's gotta be a perfect family out there somewhere for you...