Film Review: FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 85 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: James Lorinz (STREET TRASH), Beverly Bonner (BASKET CASE), Patty Mullen (DOOM ASYLUM, former Penthouse Pet), Shirley Stoler (THE HONEYMOON KILLERS, SEVEN BEAUTIES), Louise Lasser (BANANAS, TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN).
Tag-line: "Some assembly required."
Best one-liner: "This crack shit's killin' 'em already!"

Frank Henenlotter is fast becoming one of my favorite horror auteurs. Somehow the exact median between John Waters and David Cronenberg; his films are garish, demented, and full of ramshackle, sleazy fun.

We've got another nerdy out-of-towner with a wad of cash (as in BASKET CASE), hitting the fleabag motels of Times Square with a result that, shall we say, is ‘less than fully human.’ This film is absolutely ludicrous, and in all the best ways- in 'Hohokus, NJ,' Dr. Jeffrey Franken's (James Lorinz) beloved meets with a lawnmower mishap, and, to quote the investigators, "Parts of her are missing...it's hard to be real specific." Franken heads immediately to the seedy side of the Big Apple to collect some 'parts' from the local ladies of the night, and the end result is slightly different than what he imagined...

We've got Louise Lasser as Franken's raspy Mom, an arm-wrasslin' Shirley Stoler as 'Spike' the diesel dyke bartender, Franken pouring Beaujolais into the mouth of his darling's decapitated head, a musclebound pimp named Zorro who brands his hookers with a 'Z,'

great use of 80's lightning effects, and a cameo from Beverly Bonner (Casey from BASKET CASE) as a proponent of legalized prostitution. Perhaps my favorite part is the fact that EVERY hooker is addicted to crack, and that Franken develops a 'SuperCrack' to quickly OD them and get the parts he needs.

The inevitable rationalization is that 'this crack's killin' em already,' and when the baggie is revealed, the workin' girls’ catfight over the crack is truly mind-blowing.


Worth the price of admission alone, though, is seeing our Frankenhooker (Patty Mullen), dressed in a shock of purple, contorting her face, and wearing Frankenstein lift shoes.

She actually succeeds in turning “Got any money?" and "Wanna date?” into catchphrases (which were evidently part of the original gimmicky talking VHS!). Something feels wrong about labeling this a masterpiece, but I gotta go ahead and do it anyway. Five stars!

-Sean Gill

2009 Halloween Countdown

31. PROM NIGHT (1980, Paul Lynch)
30. PHENOMENA (1985, Dario Argento)
29. HOUSE OF WAX (1953, André de Toth)
28. SILENT RAGE (1982, Michael Miller)
27. BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
26. THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983, Douglas McKeown)
25. PELTS (2006, Dario Argento)
24. ANGEL HEART (1987, Alan Parker)
23. KILLER WORKOUT (1986, David A. Prior)
22. FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE (1991, Rachel Talalay)
21. THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES (1971, Robert Fuest)
20. FRANKENHOOKER (1990, Frank Henenlotter)
19.
...

Film Review: STREET TRASH (1987, J. Michael Muro)

Stars: 4.5 of 5.
Running Time: 102 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: James Lorinz (FRANKENHOOKER), Vic Noto, Bil Chepil, Mike Lackey, Jane Arakawa, Tony Darrow (GOODFELLAS). Written by Roy Frumkes.
Tag-line: "Things in New York are about to go down the toilet..."
Best one-liner: "I don't need this. I already got trouble with my kids, my wife, my business, my secretary, the bums... the runaways, the roaches, prickly heat, and a homo dog. This just ain't my day."

STREET TRASH is a greasy, fat man pinning you down in a cracked, faux-leather chair as he tries to pleasure himself. It's a police van full of shabby hookers. It's one tough cop beating a dude within an inch of his life, then vomiting on him. It's a bum drinking some toxic hooch and dissolving into a candy-colored volcano as he (literally) flushes himself down the toilet.

It's a homeless man stuffing raw chicken into his Hazmat pants as he shoplifts your local C-Town.

It's gang rape, necrophilia, and a game of 'monkey in the middle' with some castrated genitalia. All of this is accompanied by gentle clarinet-heavy jazz and honkytonk piano that'd be at home in a Woody Allen credits sequence. Written by THE SUBSTITUTE scribe and DAWN OF THE DEAD zombie Roy Frumkes and directed by Steadicam-maven J. Michael Muro, STREET TRASH is visually magnificent, and has the careening, off-kilter energy of a wild sprint down a squalid alleyway. To pin it down as "about" something- like a case of noxious, hobo-dissolving Viper liquor- would be doing it a disservice.

It's a meandering, slice of (psychotic) life from the most unsavory, dilapidated side of Greenpoint, Brooklyn (where I used to live!). It's almost as if Vittorio de Sica (THE BICYCLE THIEF, UMBERTO D) made a Troma film. Consequently, it's way fucking better than any Troma film, which has earned J. Michael Muro the bitter honor of "Troma's most hated director" according to Lloyd Kaufman. This would be like Ted V. Mikels saying that Russ Meyer is his 'most hated director' or Bruno Mattei saying that Dario Argento is his 'most hated.' I mean, come on.



The acting, by a cast of mostly non-professionals, is sometimes masterful, sometimes hideous, but never less than memorable. There's a brief, hilarious role (as 'the Doorman') by the smarmy James Lorinz (Dr. Franken in FRANKENHOOKER); a terrifying turn by Vic Noto as the femur-wielding Bronson;

and a terrific, likable tough guy played by real-life cop Bill Chepil. This is the stuff that underground cinema dreams are made of, and it ends on a truly appropriate WTF moment. And stay for the end credits, which feature a mind-blowing song (sung in character!) by a sleazy mafioso (Tony Darrow). For similar cheap n' gritty thrills, see: DEADBEAT AT DAWN, BASKET CASE, and THE DRILLER KILLER.

-Sean Gill

BONUS: Make your very own bottle of Tenafly Viper! (click on the picture for a larger view)