Only now does it occur to me... KAMIKAZE 1989 (1982)

Only now does it occur to me... that I would ever see German auteur Rainer Werner Fassbinder (BERLIN ALEXANDERPLATZ, THE MARRIAGE OF MARIA BRAUN) running around in a leopard-print suit (well, lurching around, rather) and solving crimes as a hardboiled detective in somebody else's (Wolf Gremm's) queer cyberpunk thriller.

It bears mentioning that Fassbinder died at 37 of a drug overdose, little more than a month before this film was released (and at Wolf Gremm's apartment). One can tell watching this film that he is near death; he stumbles around in a daze, punctuated by episodes of rage and childlike impotence; generally, he's as corpulent and unhealthy-looking as Orson Welles in TOUCH OF EVIL.

It's been years since he could pull off the mesh-shirt/kimono combo

I have a lot of personally complicated feelings about Fassbinder and his death––in the sanitized, arthouse-fan-service version, he's a mad genius/enfant terrible who worked himself to death by making three to four feature films a year and who picked up a drug habit because it allowed him to make even more films. In this narrative, he's the living embodiment of the Lao Tzu quote about "the flame that burns twice as bright" burning half as long. In the version supported by those who knew him personally, he was more like something between a schoolyard bully, an angry toddler, and a cult leader, abusing the actors in his troupe and the people close to him with sadistic abandon. For me, this does not diminish the quality of his incredible films, but forces me to reckon with his personality whenever I engage with those films. It also makes me wonder if, here, at the end, his character invades the personal space of everyone around him because he is directed to, or if he is just being a dick.

Does he throw tantrums––like smashing the buttons on apartment buzzers––because it is a character trait of "Polizeileutnant Jansen," or a character trait of Fassbinder himself?


Seriously, like 10% of this movie is him furiously smashing buttons:

There's a rogue's gallery of Fassbinder regulars throughout, including Günther Kaufmann (WHITY, IN A YEAR WITH THIRTEEN MOONS) and Brigitte Mira (ALI: FEAR EATS THE SOUL, MOTHER KÜSTERS GOES TO HEAVEN):

and the whole thing functions mostly as an insane New-Wave fashion show (which is something I would never complain about):


Just another day at the office



Yep, that's Franco Nero 



Yep, that's a Superman phone



Yep, that's a modified football jersey on a futuristic housewife wearing New Wave swimwear


Yep, that guy is just carrying around a broken toilet

On the whole, it's as if BLADE RUNNER were a queer German art film channeling THE APPLE:

I'm pretty sure the nurse behind this man is wearing a giant BIM mark

except with a dreamy electronic score by Tangerine Dream's own Edgar Froese instead of sci-fi disco, but that's neither here nor there. Perhaps appropriately, the film ends with Fassbinder humping an image of Neil Armstrong and touching himself while listening to the audio of Nixon debriefing Armstrong after the moon landing.

This is literally how the movie ends, and it's Fassbinder's (unknowing?) ultimate farewell to the world of film.

Somehow, it seems appropriate: masturbatory, strange, histrionic, and sad.

Film Review: KEOMA (1976, Enzo G. Castellari)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 105 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Franco Nero (Nero is legendary: he's worked with Fassbinder, Bunuel, Castellari, and John Huston; he's played Jesus, Valentino, Versace, Django, and Lancelot!), Woody Strode (ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST, SPARTACUS, THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE), William Berger (VON RYAN'S EXPRESS, DJANGO 2), De Angelis (soundtrack, THE LAST SHARK), Donald O'Brian (TROLL 3: QUEST FOR THE MIGHTY SWORD, INGLORIOUS BASTARDS, John Frankenheimer's THE TRAIN).
Tag-lines: None!
Best one-liner: "The world keeps going around and around. So you always end up in the same place."

Along with Sergio Corbucci's THE GREAT SILENCE, KEOMA is probably the best of the non-Leone spaghetti westerns. Enzo G. Castellari's not a mere rip-off artist; he's a true disciple of Leone's films (and of Peckinpah's), and he brings many more elements to the table: like EL TOPO, this western is mystical, philosophical, and vaguely psychedelic; like Argento's contributions to ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (and his best giallos), the myriad flashbacks have a hazy, magical quality to them that is distinctly Italian; and, unlike most second-tier spaghettis, KEOMA's characters talk about their feelings (!) and the film possesses real emotional stakes.

I shit you not; the line being spoken right here is "You never gave us the affection you gave to him... And we were your real sons!"

In the midst of all of this is a barechested, grimy, hairy, and grizzled Franco Nero- his intense blue eyes and severe demeanor anchoring the film's disparate elements.


I hear a lot of complaining about the De Angelis soundtrack, but it has a purpose- it's a primal ballad, full of vocal shrieks and screeches that may not always be pleasing to the ear, but they certainly go a long way toward forming the bleak, savage atmosphere. Castellari's visual sense is at its peak in this film:

we're entreated to the POV of a target as it's shot at- large holes of light tearing themselves out of the screen;

the POV of Keoma's hand as he counts off the bad guys he's about to gun down;

and majestic slow motion as men are shot, punched, and thrown by the hair, their bodies plummeting into mud-entrenched puddles and engulfed by wisps of dust and sand.

There's a few classic Castellari moments, like the line "Ya overgrown papoose!" and more odd Italian references and depictions of gratuitous pissing (see also: TROLL 2, MONSTER DOG, etc.), but for the most part, this is a very serious film.


Classic obligatory Italian pissing scene. The man pictured above literally begins pissing on command onto Woody Strode's boots.


And check out this guy! (Joshua Sinclair.) Smug assholes abound in Castellari flicks.


But toss in the stern pathos of Woody Strode (pictured above), the complex family dynamics between biological and adopted sons, and a genuine thoughtfulness throughout (which is so rare in a film of this type), and KEOMA is truly a classic. Viva Castellari!

-Sean Gill

Film Review: ENTER THE NINJA (1981, Menahem Golan)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 101 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Franco Nero (CAMELOT, TRISTANA, DIE HARD 2, KEOMA), Susan George (STRAW DOGS, DIRTY MARY CRAZY LARRY, MANDINGO), Sho Kosugi (NINE DEATHS OF THE NINJA, BLIND FURY, THE BAD NEWS BEARS GO TO JAPAN), Christopher George (THE SHOOTIST, EL DORADO, DAY OF THE ANIMALS), Alex Courtney (AND THE BAND PLAYED ON, LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR), cinematography by David Gurfinkel (OVER THE TOP, THE APPLE, SALSA), and a cameo by Michael Dudikoff!
Tag-lines: "Warriors of a lost martial art! Hired assassins ...human killing machines!"
Best one-liner: " I want a ninja. Find me a ninja. I want Lander's land!"

The words 'Cannon Films,' 'Golan,' 'Globus,' and 'Ninja' indicate one thing, and one thing only: supreme awesomeness. They usually involve land-developer villains, bad dubbing, lots of slow motion whooshing sound effects, spit-take inducing dialogue, and the moral of the story is usually that 'you can't fight a ninja without another ninja.' All of this is gold, and Menahem Golan (THE APPLE, OVER THE TOP) is a veritable 80's King Midas. The film begins with ten minutes of sheer ninja action (and no dialogue- but this ain't ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST).

When the big unveiling comes, and we finally see the face of the newly anointed ninja...it's a sweaty white guy with a bad hangover?!

Wait...is that Franco NERO?! And indeed it is. Nero is legendary: he's worked with Fassbinder, Bunuel, Castellari, and John Huston; he's played Jesus, Valentino, Versace, Django, and Lancelot! At first I thought he was phoning it in, but if he hasn't won you over by the half-way mark, you really shouldn't be watching these kinds of movies anyway.

"This is the Ninja symbol for mastery of time and space."

It really is!



Ohhh, it was just a fake head!

There's Nero versus 500 guys with tight jeans; dudes are impaled with benches; Sho Kosugi looks real pissy;

Christopher George chews scenery like its his job (and it is);

and there's a baddie named The Hook ("When he had both hands, he was a real sonofabitch. Now hes a lot worse.").



Nero to Hook: 'Hang around, I'll be back.'

Cockfighting is presented as good, clean fun ("Sir, would you like me to set up a cockfight for your guest?") and the soundtrack is very FRIDAY THE 13TH with crazed strings, some 'nee nee jaa jaa' whispers (like THE OCTAGON!), and a 'wah-wah-wah wuhhh' trumpet thrown in for flavor.

I think they used up their smacked in the nuts quota for like 12 movies here- there's hooks, fists, feet, knees, billyclubs, etc. all making serious contact with balls in extreme closeup. And, I gotta say, the ole 'ninja hiding the tree above you' trick NEVER gets old.


The vague misogyny of Cannon Films never gets old, either!

All of this ends with the best freeze frame since HOOPER.

I could go on, but I think you should really just see it for yourself.

Oh, and of course, there's this:

Five (ninja) stars.

-Sean Gill