Only now does it occur to me... THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU'RE DEAD

Only now does it occur to me... that even in a movie where he's in a wheelchair,

Note the wig.

Christopher Walken manages to shoehorn in... a dance sequence!


Granted, it's via a short-lived flashback, but boy oh boy does the man love to dance.

In all, THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU'RE DEAD is sort of a mediocre "Guys Doing a Job" crime movie, injected with 90s indie quirkiness and a slightly out-of-place existential tone.  Clearly, the Weinsteins were trying to capture some Tarantino-ish lightning in a bottle once again, but it doesn't quite take.   However, the Guys Doing the Job are a terrific ensemble, as Andy Garcia assembles a team that includes trailer trash William Forsythe, sporting rainbow-colored tattoos and looking like his character from STONE COLD:

Christopher Lloyd as a crabby porno theater projectionist who's always complaining about how he just "lost a toe!":

Treat Williams as a psychotic ex-boxer and current funeral home employee who trains using corpses as punching bags:


and Bill Nunn, shot from low angles like his character Radio Raheem from DO THE RIGHT THING:

Bill Nunn in Denver...

...and Bed-Stuy.

Plus, we got Fairuza Balk as a streetwalker

doing that same sassy/punk/smartass thing she does in almost every 90s movie, but that's why we love her.

And closing it out over here is Steve Buscemi as "Mister Shhh," the master hitman––

 

who feels more like a character from a Rodriguez film instead of this one, but I s'pose that's fine, too. 

In all, a 90s curiosity that's far from essential viewing––but it does function as a tremendous repository of bizarre and brilliant acting choices.

Film Review: MISSION TO MARS (2000, Brian de Palma)

Stars: 1 of 5.
Running Time: 114 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Gary Sinise, Tim Robbins, Don Cheadle, Connie Nielsen, Kim Delaney, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Jim & John Thomas (the writers of PREDATOR, PREDATOR 2, and...WILD WILD WEST; MISSION TO MARS effectively buried their careers for good), Ennio Morricone.
Tag-line: "Let there be life."
Best one-liner(s): "The genetic difference between men and apes is only three percent. But that three percent gave us Einstein, Mozart-" "...Jack The Ripper."
Hip, shortened, promotional abbreviation: M2M. "Hey, man, remember that summer ID4 came out? That was a good one." "Yeah, but it couldn't compare to the spring M2M came out, or even the summer of M:I-2. But it was definitely better than the winter of AVP2."

A 1999 letter retrieved from the Buena Vista department of records:

Dear Mr. De Palma,

We're pleased to say that we're greenlighting your picture, giving you a budget of 90 million, and packing it with A-list stars. We strongly believe that there is a market for a new 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY updated with a little APOLLO 13 flavor and sprinkled with a touch of SPACECAMP. I also must say that I agree with your comments about the ending. I concur that we should show the alien as much as possible.

This was the biggest flaw in 2001. We didn't get to see any aliens. But we can't blame Kubrick too much, he didn't really have access to all of this wondrous CGI.

Also regarding the ending: though the script specifies that the creation of life on Earth and subsequent fast-forwarded evolution sequence should be shown visually, we both know that that would be a mistake. We should have the astronauts narrating it, and explaining everything that is shown. This will be majestically beautiful, and I doubt there will be a dry eye in the house. If there still is, we should have the astronaut hold hands with the alien and that will take care of even the staunchest, most resolute, and emotionally barricaded viewers.


I think it's safe to say that it will be child's play to make this better than Kubrick's frankly outdated 2001. If all else fails, keep showing the alien. I have faith in our CGI and your masterful directorial faculties.

Love,
Buena Vista/Touchstone Pictures


-Sean Gill