Film Review: THE STONE KILLER (1973, Michael Winner)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 95 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Charles Bronson, Martin Balsam (PSYCHO, DEATH WISH 3), Paul Koslo (ROBOT JOX, MR. MAJESTYK), Norman Fell (THE GRADUATE, THE KILLERS, BULLITT), Jack Colvin (CHILD'S PLAY, ROOSTER COGBURN), David Sheiner (BLUE THUNDER, THE ODD COUPLE), John Ritter. Music by Roy Budd (Don Siegel's THE BLACK WINDMILL, GET CARTER). Presented by Dino de Laurentiis.
Tag-line: "Take away his badge and he'd top the Ten Most Wanted list!"
Best one-liner: Cop #1: "What hit him?!" Bronson: "A complete state of death."

Now I can't say that THE STONE KILLER is top-shelf Bronson, but there's enough kickass action and total bizarre-itude to make it more than worthy of an intense discussion. Now this was the third of six collaborations between Bronson and English director Michael Winner (CHATO'S LAND, THE MECHANIC, DEATH WISH 1, 2, & 3), and at this point, it's fascinating to examine the recurring tropes that would typify their work. More on that later. Here, Bronson plays Detective Lou Torrey, an Italian-American crime-stomper. I love that his name is Lou. He's supposed to be Italian, but he mispronounces "Guido" as "Gee-do" at least a dozen times.

Cop #1: "He's got a big gun."
Bronson: "....And a small future."

THE STONE KILLER begins with a scene that feels very DIRTY HARRY-inspired, down to Roy Budd's rip-off Lalo Schifrin score. In fact, let's talk about the score for a second. It's full of schweet grooves and mewing keyboards that recall Schifrin, but then it occasionally is full of despondent Euro-Crime melancholy (at the request of Dino de Laurentiis?). And every once in a while, some serious horn sections come out of nowhere to have out their say. These trumpets are quite literally blurting out interjections that are so sudden, you may find yourself enjoying a spit-take. It's quite an experience. Anyway, back to the opening scene. Bronson is pursuing an underage suspect up a stairwell (there are a lot of stairwells in this movie). He follows him onto a fire escape, where the kid pulls a gun and Bronson blows him away. The kid flies back and awkwardly lands, hanging by his legs, on the fire escape.

For whatever reason, the producing/marketing team thought that this was the film's most evocative image, and centered their ad campaign around it. (See poster.) Anyway, Bronson has to turn in his NYPD badge (the kid pulled a gun on him in front of witnesses, so I'm not sure why), and he hightails it to the west coast where he quickly becomes a member of the LAPD. [And as with most 70's L.A. crime movies, it's all about cars as big as battleships and tuff lookin' dudes in wool suits walking around on sun-beaten pavement.] Bronson's new boss is perennial TV actor Norman Fell,

Fell.
and he's paired with an incompetent racist partner who seems to exist only to show what Bronson's not. Bronson possesses equal disdain for all peoples, all ethnicities, all religions, and all sexual orientations– not just for black people. He even goes one step further and reveals complete disdain for racists in particular (he calls one "Cracker!"). Attaboy, Bronson.

Disdain for the legal system.


Disdain for all peoples.


Bored disdain for all peoples.


Disdain for the blood he's beaten out of a suspect.


Disdain for a cop enjoying a Miller on duty.


Somewhere below, there's disdain for the stunt double used in this sequence.

The key word for Bronson's performance here is "apathy." He doesn't have a sense of humor about anything, even his one-liners, which are frequent. When he heads back to NYC later in the film, he asks a cabbie to drop him off at the 4th precinct. "What's a nice guy like you want with the 4th Precinct house?," says the cabbie. "They give a good massage and a quick piece of ass," says Bronson- without a shred of levity. And he pronounces the first part of "massage" like "MASSachusetts." There's something about Bronson delivering a sexualized zinger with such by-the-numbers impassivity: it's definitely unclear if he knew he was delivering a joke. It's so matter-of-fact, you briefly wonder- maybe the 4th precinct does give a good massage and a quick piece of ass? But this actually adds to the character.

Similarly: "You wop bastard, how the hell are you? You like L.A.?" says an old buddy. "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye," responds Bronson, and you genuinely believe that he has weighed the pros and cons of 'L.A.' and 'a sharp stick in the eye,' and after careful deliberation, has determined that L.A. is, in fact, better than a sharp stick in the eye. Thus, he's not making a joke, or a smart-alecky remark, he's merely imparting a nugget of information to his friend.

But Bronson is not just some one-dimensional tough guy. Winner includes a few 'deeper' characterizations. As in THE MECHANIC, Bronson has a disturbing work of art in his apartment (here, it's Francisco Goya's "Saturn Devouring His Son"– before, it was Bosch's "The Garden of Earthly Delights") which provides a glimpse of the tortured interior, and there's an odd scene of avant-garde self-reflection where Bronson stares into a mirror (which shatters and crosscuts with John Boorman-style edits to previous scenes of violence).

The plot concerns a forty year-old vendetta between mobster Martin Balsam and some other Eye-talians. Balsam's raising an army of "stone killers" (assassins with whom he has no connection) to take out his enemies on the anniversary of a historical mob massacre. Most of these stone killers happen to be Vietnam vets, which I'm sure intended some political statement, but in Winner's films, political statements are usually confined to just the mention of "Vietnam" or "hippies" or "racism." That's fine, though– none of us came here with a thirst for thoughtful social commentary.

On the side of the baddies is psychotic bisexual trombone-playing assassin Paul Koslo (the over-the-top villain in ROBOT JOX and a frequent Bronson collaborator– MR. MAJESTYK & LOVE AND BULLETS. He also collaborated with Eastwood on JOE KIDD- hmm...).

Koslo plays his role with such ratty-haired, delicious pizazz, you know that somewhere, even Michael Moriarty is getting jealous. When Bronson's on his trail, he questions a woman who reveals that "Sometimes he's with a chick– he's a switcher." Bronson then mutters something about "...the best of both worlds." WHUTTT!?


Now, there's two things that Bronson and Winner frequently return to: hippies and ice cream. (See my reviews of THE MECHANIC, DEATH WISH II, and DEATH WISH 3 for added insight):


Look at him– Bronson is so single-mindedly devoted to the case that he has NO IDEA that the promise of "frosty shakes" lies a mere 20 feet behind him.


Shortly thereafter, Bronson shows up at this hippie commune that basically looks like a scene from an Alejandro Jodorowsky film.

As Bronson questions a woman, he remains blasé and willfully unaware of the TOTALLY INSANE tambourine-infused, wild hippie dance orgy going on right behind him:


Yeah, this is pretty great. There's also a recurring theme in Winner's films of the hero interrupting mid-coitus couples during chase scenes, but that seems to be a further-reaching cliché than these previous examples, so I shan't discuss it in detail.

All of this leads up to the finale we've all been waiting for: the actual massacre of mobsters.

Dudes wearing YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE-henchmen costumes burst in and gun down a ton of cigar-smoking Sicilians. I don't know if they ran out of extras, but we get to see a couple of guys bite the dust twice.

Then, the piéce de résistance:

A mobster gets shot through a window, plummeting to his extraordinary death below...

This again makes me wonder; as nearly every single Bronson movie- Cannon, De Laurentiis, or otherwise– has at least one scene where a dummy plummets to its doom. I think Bronson must have gotten a secret kick out it and confidentially demanded that it be written into his contract. Here, there's even two: when Bronson shoots one of the assassins in the stairwell, he flips over the railing, and there you go.

William Lustig (director of MANIAC COP, VIGILANTE) has praised the film for having some of the best uses of plummeting dummies in a studio picture.

Then there's the final, head-scratching scene. It's so bizarre that I don't even think that discussing it could constitute a spoiler.

Balsam goes to confession, and Bronson and another cop watch the church from a car.

With disdain, I might add.

Bronson makes a speech:

"We're chest deep in water. Screaming against the rushing tide. You know, last three weeks, in New York City alone, there were 159 homicides? 3,000 criminal assaults, 6,000 robberies. You multiply that by Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Los Angeles... You remember that cartoon of an old Roman Circus, where all the lions are roaring, and the page boy yells down the corridor...

...YOU'VE GOT FIVE MINUTES, CHRISTIANS!"

Now, I guess one could see this as a direct transition from THE STONE KILLER to the first DEATH WISH (made by the same team the next year), but I'm not sure exactly who the Christians are in the metaphor here. I guess we're the Christians, cause the criminals are all coming for us, and he's kind of addressing the camera. But then again, it's kind of like a threat- maybe the criminals are the Christians, and Bronson is coming after them in five minutes? Or perhaps Bronson and the other cops are the Christians, and they've got five minutes before the criminals start coming after them? Well, regardless, it's a credit to the complexity of the line reading and the pensive screenwriting that we're able to have discussions like this thirty-six years after the fact. And, Charles, by the way– No, I do not remember that cartoon.

-Sean Gill

Television Review: RAWHIDE- "DUEL AT DAYBREAK" (1965, Sutton Roley), AKA BRONSON VS. EASTWOOD

Stars: 3 of 5.
Running Time: 53 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson.
Best one-liner: "Puttin' a high price on a pair of pants, aren't ya?"

So I've been doing a lot of Bronson reviews lately, and the subject of 'Bronson vs. Eastwood' has come up on several occasions. I'm going to take this opportunity to rehash 'what we know,' before proceeding with what may be the very birth of the (possibly imagined) rivalry; an episode of RAWHIDE, starring Clint, and guest starring Bronson. This article by no means will offer the final word on the feud, but will perhaps offer some deeper insights into this eternal battle. But before I get into the RAWHIDE episode, let's rehash...




WHAT WE KNOW:

#1. The Leone connection: Bronson might have, in retrospect, felt foolish for turning down the role of the 'Man with No Name' in Sergio Leone's famous Dollars Trilogy, a role that ultimately went to Clint and made him an international star. Later, Bronson finally broke down and made a film with Leone (and a slew of other European films in the late 60's and early 70's) - ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST. Now, to complicate things, the three men who Bronson shoots in the opening sequence were originally meant to be the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Clint, Lee van Cleef, and Eli Wallach). Van Cleef and Wallach signed on for the cameo appearances, but Clint declined. Clint claimed (perhaps correctly) that he declined because it wouldn't be fair to diminish the character's legend in such a superficial, slapdash manner. But perhaps the real reason he declined was because he didn't want to be shot by Bronson.

#2. And much like how Bronson went and did Italian films after Clint had, Clint went and did some WWII ensemble cast movies after Bronson. Bronson had THE GREAT ESCAPE ('63) and THE DIRTY DOZEN ('67) under his belt when Clint went and did WHERE EAGLES DARE ('68) and KELLY'S HEROES ('70). Was Clint jealous that Bronson's 'men on a mission' movies were more successful? Hard to say. Clint didn't return to WWII until after Bronson's death, and even then he just directed (FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS, LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA).

#3. Bronson and Eastwood both have a preference for the 'finger and thumb gun.' Whether or not they ever had a 'finger and thumb gun' battle is unknown to me, but as far as I know, it was never captured on celluloid.

#4. Perhaps the most famous roles for Bronson and Eastwood were, respectively, Paul Kersey (the DEATH WISH series) and Harry Callahan (the DIRTY HARRY series). Each series had five installments- did Bronson only agree to DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH ('94) so that he could match Eastwood for number of installments?

#5. Don Siegel was perhaps Eastwood's greatest mentor, and they collaborated five times (COOGAN'S BLUFF, DIRTY HARRY, THE BEGUILED, TWO MULES FOR SISTER SARA, ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ). Late in Siegel's career, he worked with Bronson (TELEFON). How did this make Clint feel? Did Bronson ever twirl his mustache thinking about it?

#6. Bronson hates orangutans and mocks EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE in DEATH WISH II. There's a good possibility that Bronson disliked how much fun Clint was having, and this was borne of jealousy, though it's also possible that Bronson couldn't believe that a badass icon (who he was frequently compared to) could get away with a monkey/trucker movie. What if all this time, however, Bronson secretly wished he could do whacky movies involving apes and Oreos and duets with Ray Charles, but instead steadfastly remained a willing martyr to his jaw-clenching tough guy roles?

#7. Bronson and Eastwood both have worked with Lee Marvin, Clint just once with PAINT YOUR WAGON, and Bronson many times, with an episode of M SQUAD, an episode of BIFF BAKER U.S.A., DIPLOMATIC COURIER, YOU'RE IN THE NAVY NOW, THE DIRTY DOZEN, THE MEANEST MEN IN THE WEST, and DEATH HUNT. What did Lee think about all this?

Would he have knocked their heads together like coconuts, given the chance?

#8. There was a Filipino movie made in 1989 called PABLIHASA DETEKTIB, which evidently presented a fictitious staging of the Eastwood vs. Bronson rivalry. Any information on how to obtain this could prove valuable.

#9. Bronson appeared at the ALL-STAR PARTY FOR CLINT EASTWOOD ('86), hosted by Lucille Ball. Whether or not he was formally invited, or he 'crashed' it is unclear. I do know that they shook hands and appeared somewhat pleasant at this event, but whether it represented subterfuge or a genuine healing of the rift is not known to me at this time. I do know, however, that Bronson is really bad at subterfuge, so maybe it was genuine.



#10. Bronson and Eastwood both HATE crack. Bronson made a movie about how much he hated crack- DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN. Clint made a PSA for TV. Perhaps this was some common ground they could bond over in the later years.

#11. Both appeared in the special HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY HOLLYWOOD ('87). Whether or not they interacted is unknown to me.

#12. They both had a significant other who they collaborated with many, many times. Bronson appeared with Jill Ireland in 16 films and one TV episode. Clint appeared with Sondra Locke in 6 films, most of which he directed. Bronson remained with Jill from their 1968 marriage until her tragic death from breast cancer in 1990.

Clint remained with Sondra (a breast cancer survivor) from 1975 until their breakup in 1990 (they were never married).


Now, granted, these are not all of the facts. These are only some of the facts. It's certainly something to go on. Now let's go back in time to 1965, when Bronson met Eastwood...

DUEL AT DAYBREAK is a pretty solid episode of 60's Western TV. The majority of the episode is the villainous Bronson trying to shoot people, Eastwood stepping in and talking some sense, and preventing said shootings from happening.


This makes Bronson mad. The opening scene involves Bronson trying to teach "a wet behind the ears kid a lesson in manners." The kid tries to use a plank to cross a gigantic mud puddle and gets Bronson's pants muddy. Bronson says that the "bridge" is his, it's private. The kid tries to leave.

Bronson demands the kid's hat, and a shoot-out is about to commence when Clint and a bunch of dudes step in and talk some sense.

"Puttin' a high price on a pair of pants, aren't ya?" says a pissed Clint. [Which is doubly ridiculous, given that later on, as Dirty Harry, Clint refuses to have his nearly $30 pants cut by a doctor to remove bullet shards ("For $29.50, let it hurt!")].

Anyway, Eastwood keeps breaking up duels between Bronson and other dudes, which pisses Bronson off, because he'd love to just be indiscriminately shooting people. (He would eventually get his chance in DEATH WISH 3).

Why won't Clint just let Bronson do what he's good at?!

He gets so frustrated he flings a table across his room.

"Get your foot offa that chair...."



Turns out, it's largely over a woman (this was long before Bronson was made into an asexual being by Golan-Globus in the 80's). Bronson finally gets his wish and shoots some people, but not fatally. In a re-duel with The Kid, (with Clint obviously backing The Kid), Bronson is fatally shot.

This is the little shitball...

...who kills Bronson.

Clint doesn't even get to handle a gun. Now it's great to see Eastwood and Bronson sharing the same (small) screen and flinging verbal barbs at one another, but I must say that, overall, it's not the most satisfying endeavor. I wanted Clint to tell Bronson to "Get off my lawn" and Bronson to say "Chicken's good. I like chicken."

I'm not sure what else to say. More to come.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: DEATH WISH 4- THE CRACKDOWN (1987, J. Lee Thompson)

Stars: 4.5 of 5.
Running Time: 99 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Charles Bronson, John P. Ryan (IT'S ALIVE, CLASS OF 1999), Danny Trejo, Soon-Tek Oh (MISSING IN ACTION 2), George Dickerson (BLUE VELVET, PSYCHO II), Mark Pellegrino (Jacob on TV's LOST, MULHOLLAND DR.).
Tag-lines: "The biggest Death Wish ever!"
Best one-liner: "I was just using the... toilet?" (said by Bronson)

Ah, 1987. When the scourge of crack lashed ceaselessly across the welted and track-marked back of America; so much so, that everybody and their brother and Pee-Wee and Clint Eastwood were doing anti-crack PSAs. Well, it was time for Charles Bronson to step in and say- "Anyone connected with drugs deserves to die!"

"When can I start?"

But the thing is, DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN forgets that it's a PSA about 25 minutes in, and turns into a balls-to-the-wall Golan-Globus shoot 'em up, which is completely fine by me. With J. Lee Thompson directing instead of Winner, one could worry about the film's moxie. The first scene lets you know those fears are unfounded: a woman's alone in a parking garage with some jazzy sax and slappy bass. You know something awful's about to happen, and yet the film is completely gleeful about the set-up. Some ominous men, an engine that won't turn over, some high-fives, and an attempted gang rape later, Bronson shows up, says his name is "Death," shoots the hoods, has a nightmarish vision á la Luke in Yoda's cave, and then wakes up from a nightmare!



The high-five during gang-rape is essential.


"Who are you???" –"Death."


At least he wasn't dreaming about a white buffalo. I should do a scholarly paper on the dream-life of Bronson.

There's a lot goin' on: we got a dude blown away by Bronson, zapped, and cooked atop a bumper car rink; a wild-eyebrowed John P. Ryan;

Laura Dern's cop Dad from BLUE VELVET (George Dickerson); Mark Pellegrino (the hitman in MULHOLLAND DR. and Jacob on TV's LOST) as a mascara-wearin' Punk;

Danny Trejo meeting the wrong end of Bronson's exploding wine bottle;

Bronson's hidden room of assault weapons and C-4 behind his 'fridge; really awkward Bronson subterfuge;

Bronson cater-waitering a party (to infiltrate and destroy);

insane self-promotion (one of the baddies has an office lined with Cannon posters like BREAKIN' and TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2);


a daytime shootout later referred to as having happened at night, because they were too lazy to alter the script; the best stilted Bronson one-liner since DW3's "It's MY CAR!" (with "I was MAKIN' A SANDWICH!");

and a climactic shootout at a roller disco.

This sort of thing happens all the time.




Yep, this is a Cannon film. And it is terrific. Recommended to anyone who hates drugs, people who sell drugs, people who use drugs, or people who know people who sell or use drugs.

-Sean Gill