Film Review: COPYING BEETHOVEN (2006, Agnieszka Holland)

Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 104 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Ed Harris, Diane Kruger, Steven J. Rivele and Christopher Wilkinson (the writers of ALI and NIXON).
Tag-line: "He was the greatest composer of his time. One last performance would define his genius."
Best one-liner: "God whispers into the ears of some men, but he shouts into mine!"

Remember the YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES? Indy would be visiting Africa for just one day, and next thing you know he's hanging out with Teddy Roosevelt on safari and inspiring Albert Schweitzer to start practicing medicine. COPYING BEETHOVEN is a lot like that. The screenplay is laughable. Probably the only historically accurate thing in this movie is Ed Harris' wig. But you shouldn't care. I didn't come here for a fact-based history lesson. I came here to see Ed Harris act like a fuckin' lunatic.

And I was not disappointed. Given the multitude of negative reviews, I was expecting something really lackluster and boring, but damn, was I in for the shock of a lifetime.

Harris plants an intense kiss atop the head of director Agnieszka Holland as Diane Kruger looks on.

Harris is brilliant. No hyperbole can do justice to what it is exactly that he does. He is intense.

He is committed. I feel like he out-commits Harvey Keitel, and I thought those words would never pass through my lips. Harris' Beethoven rocks at arm-wrestling, walks around half-naked, moons people when they mention the "Moonlight Sonata," hates cats, horrifies old ladies, pours water on his neighbors, beats up sickly old men, makes fart noises with his mouth to mock people, smashes a young dandy's life's work, and happens to be the greatest musical genius of the 19th Century. Basically if the thought of a totally crazed Ed Harris holding a horn to his ear and saying "Eh? Whaaat? WHAAAT?!" for 104 minutes appeals to you, then you have found your Holy Grail. I have.

-Sean Gill

Film Review: THE THIRD MIRACLE (1999, Agnieszka Holland)

Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 118 minutes.
Notable Cast or Crew: Ed Harris, Anne Heche, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Barbara Sukowa (Fassbinder and von Trier alum), Michael Rispoli.
Tag-line: "Everyone needs to believe in something."

MYTH: Ed Harris only plays intense characters. FACT: Ed Harris only plays REALLY INTENSE characters. THE THIRD MIRACLE is the second of three collaborations between Ed Harris and Polish director Agnieszka Holland, the first being TO KILL A PRIEST, and the most recent being COPYING BEETHOVEN. Agnieszka is at her best when she's writing her own screenplays, and unfortunately, that's not the case here. This is a cliche-ridden, highly predictable script of a period piece that never really seems like one. But the acting...ah, the acting. Ed Harris, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Michael Rispoli, Barbara Sukowa, and even Anne Heche (who really looks like she could be Sukowa's daughter) deliver nuanced performances with a serious degree of commitment to the roles. They're unleashed on the subpar script and manage to transform it into a pretty solid movie. Ed plays a REALLY INTENSE priest trying to judge the veracity of a possible saint's miracles.

In the course of his investigation, he talks smack to an archbishop and follows it up with a smarmy grin, tastes the blood flowing from a statue, makes out with Anne Heche, reaches up to the heavens in despair, physically restrains an unruly prostitute, and basically does everything a priestly Ed Harris should. Again, I never thought I'd say this, but Harris is giving Keitel a serious run for his money for the mantle of 'most intense working actor.' Four REALLY INTENSE stars. Try not to burst a blood vessel, Ed.

Side note: Check out Ed's eyes in the poster art- it almost looks like a prefiguration of Ed's scarred, intense eye in A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE. Unfortunately, Ed does not have the crazy eye in this film, though I shudder to think how great the film would have been if he had.

-Sean Gill