What a difference a year makes

I am looking forward to having Severen with us at the table tomorrow. He was with us last year, too, but in a very different way! He loves to eat (avocado, broccoli, hummus, beans, mozzarella, mango . . . ) and I know he will enjoy the Thanksgiving food we prepare with every ounce of his little body. Lately, he has taken to saying "Ummmmmm!" when something tastes good! What am I looking forward to eating the most? This amazing squash recipe. (Make it make itttt!!) Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. Here are posts (and pics!) from the Thanksgiving feasts we hosted the past two years.

Baby's room, 5 months later

What was once "the baby's room" is now "Severen's room." And Severen is 5 months old, which means that things are starting to change around here!

For the last month or so, Severen has been sleeping in his own room on his floor bed. We splurged on a really nice mattress and I bought a new, softer rug to go under it. He loves it! We also moved the changing table out of the room (put in the closet, actually, as shelving) and we change him on the floor now. We was just getting too wiggly to be up so high. Also, this way eventually he will be able to crawl over to be changed.

The floor bed concept is pretty cool. The idea is that when a room is safety-proofed, it becomes completely accessible to the child because he/she is able to leave the bed after waking and move around the room without help from parents. I like the idea of more movement and independence on Severen's part, especially as he gets older. And wow, I am amazed at how much this kiddo can move! I never know where I am going to find him in the morning - usually somewhere on the floor, just chilling out.

I will be honest, after I set up the mattress/changing area this way I looked around and felt pretty uncomfortable. I mean, to my eyes/brain seeing things on the floor = mess. Of course that isn't the case here, but there is no denying that having lots of things on the floor really changes the aesthetics of the space. But now, after several weeks, I'm really into it. When you walk into Severen's room, you know that it is intended for him and all the learning that he has ahead - and that is a good thing.

The best thing about the set up right now? I can nurse him in bed or lie with him and rest/read books. It makes naptime/bedtime cuddling really easy and fun!

Seven weeks old, twelve weeks late

Severen is 19 weeks old today! He still has 20 weeks to go before he has lived outside my belly as long as he lived inside, but he has made a lot of progress and changed our lives a lot in this short amount of time. I found a list of things that I wrote when he was just under 2 months old and, as I read it, I realized "Oh my gosh. This is getting easier." People tell you this will happen with babies and you want to believe them, but sometime it just feels so hard you can't imagine anything else. Well, here is some proof in favor of the "it gets easier/better/more rewarding" argument - some before-and-after mom-land notes for you. 

1. One of the biggest challenges is how to manage my time. And by "my time" I mean the time when Severen is napping or with his dad. If I have an hour and a half while Severen is sleeping, do I use that time to do something for the family (laundry, cleaning, dinner prep, bills, etc.) or to do something for me (yoga, working on the shop, reading, etc.)? It's not an obvious answer, most of the time, and no matter what I choose I usually end up feeling guilty. Tricky, very tricky.

12 weeks later . . . Yep, this is still hard. But three things have helped make it better. One, I take him with me on errands.  Two, he takes more predictable naps. And three, I have seriously adjusted my expectations for what can be accomplished in a day. There are some nights when we eat cheese and crackers for dinner. There are some (ok, lots) of days when the only laundry that gets done is Severen's. There are giant dust bunnies under my bed. Ehh.

2. I am amazed at how challenging breast feeding has been. I should have known that any activity that has trained specialists (i.e. lactation consultants) who make themselves available via 24-hour hotlines is not for wimps. Still, I figured doing the natural thing would be pretty self explanatory. Nuh uh. I'll be honest, I thought about giving up many times. My mom says that Severen and I are two parts of an engine. Well, after a few break downs and several tune ups I think we are back on the road again. We've nursed over 600 times now. Wow.

12 weeks later . . . Well, we've easily nursed close to 2000 times at this point. We are in the "reward" phase - all the hard work and not so good stuff we dealt with early on is paying off. People told me we would get here and we have. It is a natural part of my day/night and a relaxing time for both of us. Nursing is something I am really, really going to miss. I will never forget it.

3. As much as I miss having Soren around during the days he has to be at work, it is really awesome to have him come home in the evening and see Severen with fresh eyes. Hearing him say, "Oh he is so beautiful!" sort of pushes the re-set button for me after a long day of diaper changing and baby soothing.

12 weeks later . . . This is still true. I love watching the son-Dad reunion that happens at our house every afternoon/evening. It is mighty sweet.

4. I feel sort of bad saying it, but part of me wants Severen to grow up really fast. Why? Because I feel like as he becomes more and more himself that I will have a chance to go back to being "me." Some days (OK most days) I feel like he and I are one person. We move together, we sleep at the same times, we eat the same things . . .   I guess that is what happens when the needs of another person dictate the actions of your day. I feel a little lost in motherhood right now.

12 weeks later . . . I am feeling less lost. Most of that is due to my metal/physical healing from labor and delivery and my adjustment to a vastly different routine. I also had to get over a lot of insecurity related to being a full-time mom (I'm still working on that . . . that's a post for another time). Also, Severen IS growing up really fast. I guess I got my wish. He is getting more independent and capable every day. 

5. I am thirty-one and I am not an expert on anything. I don't have a field of study that I have mastered and I have a habit of hopping from one profession to the next, which makes it hard to build on skills. But I have the feeling that I am going to be an expert on Severen. I spend so much time with him and I just know what he needs. I wonder if I will always be to tuned-in to him or if this is just a baby thing. It is powerful, beautiful and terrifying.

12 weeks later . . . For the first time in my life, I feel really, really good at something. Something important. Thanks for that, Severen.

16 weeks old!

I figure a check in with a photo of the lad about once a month is good, non? Well, our last photo was at about the three month mark and here we are now - almost four months old! Severen is getting so big. He is wearing six month clothing and has almost outgrown his changing table and co-sleeper. I'm not sure how much he weighs but I'm guessing around 18#. And dude - his head is like 3/4 the size of mine?! I love his little chickie hair, too.

He is super fun to play with these days. He likes to reach for things, grasp at them and - if all goes according to his plan - shove them into his mouth. He is also getting more interested in food. He watches me like a little puppy when I am eating, kicking his legs and licking his lips. I've been giving him little licks of pears, strawberries, etc. and he loves it. The best thing, though, is his baby vocabulary. He makes a wide array of clucks, blurbbles (yep I made that word up), and coos. Damned if it isn't the best sounding stuff I've ever heard. I'll probably pass out the first time he actually says a word.

My big realization these last few weeks: life as a mom is a lot more enjoyable if you can include your baby in as much of your daily routine as possible. That means that it isn't always one-on-one, let's-stare-into-each-other's-eyes playtime at our house (although we do a lot of that, too!) Sometimes he rides in the Moby while I do laundry. Sometimes he plays on the floor in the kitchen while I chop vegetables or eat handfuls of cookies. Sometimes he chills out in his stroller at the post office while I ship packages. I used to feel guilty about having him do all that stuff with me but then I think - hey, maybe he sort of likes it?  For all I know, he might think that going to the grocery store is like a trip to Paris! Or that the kitchen floor is as fun as a carnival! What I do know is that when I include him in whatever I am doing, our day together goes much faster and usually smoother. And because we accomplish more when he is awake, my free time is truly my own when he is sleeping. Hellloooo yoga. Helllooo shop updates. It's a good thing.

12 weeks old!

I apologize for the back to back baby posts - I didn't plan that very well. But today is Severen's 12 wk (that's three months!) birthday and I wanted to share these photos with you. I was anxious about trying out the tripod/remote with him, but he was totally game! I think the key is to catch him in a good mood. I hope to get back to some outfit/accessory posts soon, too, since (as you probably noticed) neither my outfit nor my accessories are noteworthy here. Oh! And about an hour after I shot these pics I got a haircut and now I have BANGS! I'll show you next week. Bon weekend!

Toms for tiny feet

Of all the miniature things out there, I think that tiny shoes have to be the cutest.  I think the baby/kiddie shoes from TOM'S are great. I see a pair or two in Severen's future.

Images courtesy of Toms.

Just eight weeks ago . . .

Just eight weeks ago, I was very pregnant with this little guy. And now he is so big - drinking coffee and everything! Ha ha just kidding - neither he nor I are drinking coffee. But he is getting pretty big, right around 13# now I think. Happy two-month birthday Severen! It is so nice to have you here on the outside.

P.S. Who forgot to clean the mirror before taking those first two pics? Dammit! Oh yeah, that would be me. 

P.P.S. I'll be posting our birth story here next Friday!

Six weeks and a gift

I got a package in the mail last week from my friend Susannah and this was inside. Isn't it fantastic? I love how she used a bark motif and birds, since those are both things we have in the nursery (and Severen adores birds). It is such a thoughtful gift, and something that our family will enjoy for years to come. Thank you, Sus!

Our little fellow is six weeks old today. He is able to smile now! It is interesting how affirming I find his little grins, like he's saying, "Good job, Momma. I am a happy boy!" In reality, I'm sure he is saying, "Wow, you look very tired and pale. Did you always look like this? Yikes." I haven't captured a full-out smile on film yet, but I'm working on it.

It's our birthday!

Today I am 31-years old and Severen is one month old. We are pretty excited to share a birthday - just look at this picture! Ok, ok he is just yawning. But it kind of looks like we are saying "yay! We are getting older!"

He has his one-month check up today and I am really curious to see how much he weighs. He was almost 9# when he was born . . . what do you think he is now? Enter your guess in the comments section and the person who is closest (within an ounce) will get a goodie in the mail from me.

✦ Congratulations to Hannah for having the closest guess! She guessed 11 lb. 7 oz and Severen tipped the scales yesterday at 11 lb. 2 oz. I'll be in touch Hannah! ✦

Want to know how I felt when I turned thirty? Here is last year's birthday post.

P.S. I love how Severen looks like he is trying to get away here when I am nibbling his cheek - like, "Mo-om, you are embarrassing me in front of all these blog readers!" Ha ha ha, I think I have at least a few more years of nibbling/snuggling before he can do anything about it.

Four weeks, three thoughts

Severen is four weeks old today. In the last month or so, I've had many, many thoughts on motherhood. Here are three that I keep coming back to:

1. Being a mom to a newborn is like being a detective. I am constantly trying to decipher Severen's squeaks, squawks and eyebrow wiggles. My days are a series of problem solving activities - it is like a really long, real-time analytical section on a standardized test. Except this test involves stressful questions about belly buttons, breast milk and soaked diapers. I'm trying to stay one step ahead of him but just when I think I've solved the puzzle and things might quiet down for a bit, he surprises me with something else. Touché, Severen. Touché.

2. I am not special. Nope, not really. There are lots of moms out there and we are all experiencing mostly the same things, have the same anxieties, think the same thoughts, etc. It is humbling to think that I'm just one lady with a one little son. Being a mom is such a big deal to me (the biggest deal!) but when I zoom out of my own life and consider all the other moms all over the planet (or heck, when I just look around the waiting room at the pediatrician's office) I realize: "Hey, you're just doing this thing now - along with all these other people." As my husband's grandma (who had nine kids) said, "Once you have a child, you really join the human race." That's where I'm at right now.

3. I worked so hard to be prepared for this little man - and we had extra long to think about him b/c of our pregnancy journey - but I still continue to be surprised by what is required of me as a new mom. When people tell you that having a baby was the hardest/greatest thing they ever did, they are not exaggerating. I always kind of thought, "Oh, you mean 'hard' like training for a marathon is hard or 'great' like graduating from college is great." But nope, nope. I'm talking hard/great like marriage. There are subtractions and additions to happiness on a daily basis and somehow, at the end of the day, you end up juuuuussst ahead of where you started that morning. Just enough to feel truly gratified.

P.S. Next week, I hope to get back to some listing in the shop (yay! I have so many pretty things saved up) as well as a bit more blogging. Thanks for your patience this last month!

My little bird

Severen has lots of nicknames but I think "little bird" is the best one. Especially since these past couple days he has decided to become best friends with the bird decals next to his changing table. He spent 30 minutes staring at them this morning, which I'm pretty sure is equivalent to 4 hours in adult time. He flaps his arms, pumps his little legs like pistons, and purses his lips. I think he is trying to invite Mr. Bird to his one-month birthday party, which is coming up on January 30th (also my birthday, as it happens!) My mother-in-law thinks "he is having his first wilderness experience." Whatever is happening in his little head, it is really fun to watch him so fixated.

P.S. I bought the decals on Etsy at this shop. Severen also loves this high-contrast book.
P.P.S. Severen has to get his little frenulum clipped today, the connective tissue under the tongue - turns out he is a bit "tongue tied" (yes, it is a real thing). I wish I could have mine cut instead of him. Please wish us a fast, perfect procedure!

Two weeks old

Severen is two weeks old today. It has been an incredibly challenging and wonderful fourteen days. I haven't cried that much, although I did this morning out of sheer fatigue and frustration. We are still learning how to live with each other - it can be tricky. Most of our moments together are pretty wonderful, though. I spend a lot of time nuzzling his head like a mama bear and smelling his short, puffy little breaths. He has changed so much already . . . more alert (although you wouldn't know it from this photo!), visually more clued in to his surroundings, hungrier, less fragile, etc. I am so proud of him for making it through this first bit of life. He has had to go through more adjustments than me! What a brave little boy. 

The baby's room

At long last . . . the baby's room! Getting it ready was pretty daunting, mostly because I really don't have a knack for decorating spaces, at least not with a time-limit. And I'm not big on matching colors/objects or buying new stuff. I'm happy with how it turned out, though.  Here are a few notes on what we did and why:

Things to look at  My friend Kat gave me some very good advice when she suggested that we decorate/paint the room with things that we enjoy looking at. So, not feeling very jazzed about staring down a bunch of giraffes or footballs or whatever for the next few years, Soren and I decided to do cheerful (but not too cheerful) colors, big birch tree decals, some homemade curtains and a framed print that we love. And how about the mobiles! The fuzzy felt one is from Regina at everyeskimo and the elephants in the window are from Auntie Ellen in Australia.

A place to sleep  There's no crib! This was a big decision and I am really excited about it. The baby will sleep on a floor bed once he gets to be about six months old (he'll be in a co-sleeper until then). This means that he'll have a crib mattress directly on the floor in his room, just a few inches off the ground. There will be a comfy rug to cushion him when he wiggles off and his room will be totally childproof. Bonus: he'll be able to experience his room at his own level and, eventually, wake and play/explore without needing us to come and get him. It's a Montessori thing, I learned.

A place for things  At first I thought we didn't need a dresser and we bought a changing table. But then I realized that the dresser is a better long-term investment and pretty important for storage purposes (the dude has quite the wardrobe). So for now, we have both. We will remove the changing table and replace it with the floor bed once he moves into his room to sleep.

A place to sit  I sat in many rockers/gliders and read many reviews before buying one from Dutailier. It seems that gliders are either a.) inexpensive, kind of ugly and poorly made or b.) super expensive, beautiful, and well made.  I didn't feel like I could spend $800 on a chair (although I thought about it believe me!) so I did some research and settled on this one. We'll see how it holds up!

The lad is here

Severen Paul Anderson

8:49 AM, December 30th, 2011 || 8 lb 15.5 oz || 22 inches

Planning for babytime

Remember when I made this announcement back in June? Well, here we are. It's December and our little lad is due to arrive any day. Actually, his due date was Wednesday (did you hear that, Baby?) Anyway, if there are a few days of silence here on the blog soon you can safely assume that he arrived. Mr. Jean Jean and I are very excited to meet him and introduce him to life outside of my belly.

So here's the plan: I will be taking January off for the most part, a self-imposed maternity leave from Jean Jean Vintage. You will see me on Twitter, though, and there will be excellent guest posts here on the blog (among other things). And of course the occasional baby photo! The shop will stay open with the current listings and I'll be shipping as usual, although perhaps not as speedily as before. I hope to be listing new pieces and ready to roll again in time for Valentine's Day!*

*Disclaimer: Everything that I just said will happen might not happen. I mean, who knows!? Thanks in advance for your patience as I figure out how to be a mom and have a business.