Adventures in babysitting

I got home late this afternoon after babysitting overnight for Maggie and Kylie. I took Reta, our pug with me

because Stuart is farming and she dreaded being alone.( Code for maybe missing a feeding.)

Maggie was attending a big hair show and Kylie went along as an early anniversary get-away.

As I was unpacking my things I ran across Reta's IPad diary.

Yes, my dog has a diary. No, she doesn't have an IPad. We aren't crazy. She shares mine.

She's a good sport with the grands and I think her diary entry proves her commitment to be accommodating.

I thought I'd share it and give her a shout out. She doesn't know I read it so mum's the word if you see her.

Without further ado...

 

4:00 pm

I'm leaving the house. Are we going to the vet? God please, no!!!!

4:05 pm

Whew. No vet. I'm at Maggie's house. It's cool. I lived here after the house fire. I can handle this.

5:05 pm

What's that ... A baby? Oh...no big deal. Just like me, they like to sleep. Oh oh oh ...they drop food. This. Is. Gonna. Be. Great!!!!

5:06 pm

Zzzzzzzzzz

6:00 pm

Food. Blessed food. Down here. Drop it baby. Drop. It. Here I am. Come on girl!!

6:30 pm

Zzzzzzzz

9:30 pm

Huh? Outside?! Now?! Whhhhhhhyyyyyy?? Ok, ok I'm going. It's so cold And dark. Oh yeah. Good idea. I needed that. Now, get me to my rug.

Zzzzzzzzz

12:30am

What's that noise? Where is Janie going? Quick I must scramble and see what's up. Oh it's the baby. Oh ok. Going sit in here. She's singing. It's nice. Like a squeaky screen door and I'm being lulled.

Zzzzzzz

12:45 am

Where we going? Ok. Back to bedroom.

Zzzzzzzzz

1:30am

Huh? What? I'm up. I'm up. I'm coming with you!!!!

I love the clatter of my toe nails on these wood floors. I feel glamorous.

Zzzzzzzzzz

1:40 am

Hmmmm back to bedroom.

No? Oh, the bathroom. My toenails are beautiful. Clickety click.

Zzzzzzzz

3:30 am

Hark! I hear that baby! I'm on it. I'm hustling. Hold up.

Well! How rude. I never in my life!! Really, theres no need for name calling!! Snorie McToenail! My name is Reta. I was asleep. Forgive me if I snored. But yes, my toenails are worthy of a shout out.

Zzzzzzzz

6:00

What's that?? A wrapper. A refrigerator opening? Food! Food!! One of them is eating. Oh they all are.

I'm on it! I'm on it!

7:00 am

Well for now my work is done.

Zzzzzzz

10:00

Outside! Heeey. I need to go outside people, puhleese.

10:30

This sun feels good.

Zzzzzzzz

11:00

I'm scratching. Hellllooo. Open that door already.

11:10 am

Thank you.

Zzzzzzzz

11:30 am

Thank you Pia for shoving a toy dog against my face while I nap.

Zzzzzz

11:45 am

No kids. No. I'm not a hand holder. No thank you if you planning on touching my nails?? Don't even attempt to trim my nails. They're my glory. Just last night someone called me Toenails McGee. That's gotta be good, right?

Zzzzzzz

12:15

Refrigerator???? Oh, I'm so there.

1:00 pm

Zzzzzzzzzz

Zzzzzzzzzz

2:30

How nice of you covering me with a baby blanket. Watch the naaaails.

Zzzzzzzz

4:00 pm

The vet?! No!!! Gah. No!!!

4:05

Aww home sweet home.

Zzzzzzzz

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

Not my fault but then it is.

The missing book mystery 

has been solved.

Annie came home from a dinner out with her bestie

and it was on her coffee table.

Jade said he found it in the middle of their floor.

What the what??

No one is admitting anything.

I chalk it up to them (Annie and Jade)

 being in cahoots against me.

I have yet found made time to read it.

Title...The Island

Author... Erin Hildebrand

All I could remember was a character named India.

I have been spending lots of time

"re-furb"ing things for my nephew 

who has bought a house and is moving on Saturday.

He is Jackie's son.

He had nothing 
but his bedroom stuff she gave him

 and a TV.

We junked and thrifted.

We have sanded, stained and painted 

a big pile of junk good things.

I have some chair cushions to recover yet.

I should have taken before pictures but I didn't think of it.

I will take pics of the move IF

I remember to take my camera.

Don't count on it.

In other news, I spent two hours yesterday

taking Stella to the vet.

The diagnosis was bladder infection.

 I knew it because there was pee
 on the wood floor in the kitchen
and these girls never have accidents.

They have bladders like tanks. 

I took them outside and tried to retrieve some pee 

in a paper cup for testing.

Failure, as one could imagine.

Dumb plan... but I was a in a hurry.

They were on their way out when I thought of it.
I needed a disposable pie pan.

None up in here..boot camp going on.

She had no fever but they did an x-ray for stones.

She had a stone.

He mentioned a surgery possibly.

I vetoed that. 

She is 13 years old, sleeps 23 hours a day

and has had 2 surgeries on her leg she broke
when Jade and Annie ran over her.
More evidence of their "cohootsion"
( I really should invest in a dictionary)

The surgeries failed to fix it.

I am not putting her through another.

We are treating her with antibiotics and different food.

The food is supposed to help with the formation of stones.

While in the waiting room, 

I visited with a friend

who has a pug 

and has had dogs from different litters 

from the same mother as my pugs.

She told me to do filtered water.

Her pug had the same problem and 
the filtered water ended it.

I gave two doses of the pills to Stella.

This morning I followed the "girls" in the yard.

Surprise... Reta is the one with blood in her urine.

This is the second time Stella has been falsely accused.

Now, I am treating Reta with Stella's pills.
My name is Janie and I am unfit. 
If you want to get to know Reta...
she has her own label in my blog list of topics.
She is that good.
She deserves better.
But, she can't care.

Oh, duh.

Have you seen this show?

Ice loves Coco??

I have not watched a full episode.

I just caught a bit.

That was more than enough.

I kept thinking this reminds me of something.

I know he was on Law and Order

but that is not it.

Hmmm?

Then I got it.

I made the connection.

Remember them?

Interview

I conducted an interview earlier this year with a known celebrity here. 
As of late, there have been rampant rumors regarding Reta.
I met up with her this week to get her perspective on the issues at hand.
She arrived with a posse and was looking as beautiful as ever with no make-up and her hair natural and un-styled.

Good Morning Reta. Thank you for coming.
I see Stella accompanied you here today.

How do you respond to the rumors that you two are estranged?

Pictures have been published of you two looking very much a non-couple. Are these pictures accurate?

Is it a fact that Stella is suffering from depression?

Would you like to reassure Stella that the rumors of a relationship with someone else are unfounded and totally untrue?

It appears you two have some issues. There are allegations you are seeing someone else. Is this third party the male that was in your posse today?

If you don't want to explain these accusations then what do you have to say about this photo?

My assistant tells me she distinctly heard him whispering to you.
She says he called you "My Lovely Lady Lumps".
How can you explain that?

After his encounter with you, I think the reaction of your friend Harley, speaks volumes.

 

How do you explain that photo?

Do you have any justification for his actions? 

By your evasive response, I fear you leave our readers with

even more questions about your relationship's status with Stella.

I thank you for your time.

I bid you farewell.

Interview with a Superstar

Earlier I led with the story of a name scandal. You can read the story here.
Today I am back with this infamous celebrity who has been the topic of discussion here at Janie Fox talks. She would like the opportunity to tell her story.  Let us begin.


Although it has been documented in legal papers that your actual name is Rita, you still continue to use the name Reta. Can you tell our readers what is behind your motivation for this?

Is it because you are famous, or is the accusation true that you are in fact, highfallutin? Could it be that you feel the need for a stage name? Or are you in actuality a victim of mistaken identity?

Let's move on. Recent reports have labeled you obese and possibly morbidly obese. How do you respond to the allegations?

By refusing to comment on this subject, critics will say you are hiding something. Is it accurate to say you are naturally heavy, or are you a victim of bingeing and bingeing?

Okay, clearly you are not comfortable with this subject matter. In relationship news, are you dating anyone?

Isn't it true that you have been spotted with Stella on a regular basis? 

What is the status of this alliance?
Is it just friendship, or something much more serious?

It has been reported that you are indeed sleeping with Stella. How do you respond to these declarations?

Well, unfortunately you have not been very forthright with your answers today. I fear you will leave our readers with even more questions.
For now, I would like to thank you for your time. I wish you well. 

I hope you harbor no ill feelings towards this journalist at this time.

This is Janie Fox, over and out. 
God save the queen.

Wrong, I guess.

In my last post I spoke of 

one of my pugs.

I called her Reta.

*that black lump is Stella on her pillow*

I heard from all 3 daughters,

"That is not how you spell her name!"

They claim it is spelled 

Rita, with an "i."

They said I changed the spelling 

to make her seem 

more of a celebrity.

They accused me of being highfalutin.

I argued it has always been 

Reta, with a "e. "

I retrieved the AKC papers

to prove my point.

Alas, it is on the document

Rita, with an "i."

Shoot!

I came clean and told them

they were right.

I have spelled it this way forever.

R. E. T.A.

As my defense, 

I say it is because my MIL

is named Leta,

and the names rhyme.

Reta is fat, 

ok, morbidly obese

in dog terms.

I think she is cute...

in a round, portly way.

I really think the spelling change 

came with her size change.

An "e" is so much more spherical.

It is befitting of her rotund size.

However, with this thinking

her name should be Rota,

well, probably Ruta.

I am sorry for erroneous information.

I will try to do better.

Oh, and if you see me out and about

I still go by Janie.

Don't be a calling me Junie!