Batman 100-page Giant #8-10 "Batman Universe"

Batman 100-Page Giant #8 2019
"Batman Universe"
Brian Michael Bendis - story, Nick Derington - art & covers

These are the Wal-Mart exclusive 100-page Giants series. These books really bring up some good memories for me. I lived in a small town in NE Illinois and I didn't have access to comic books unless we made a trip to my Grandma's down in the Ozarks. On those thips I would walk all over town buying every single book I could afford. Well, when the DC Dollar comics hit the shelves, my local drugstore started carrying them. I was in heaven. I got a brand new story along with several reprints of hard to find older stories.

  The format today doesn't thrill me as much since these cost $4.99 and while you do get some reprints, they are reprints of ongoing stories, so if you miss an issue, you are clueless as to what is going on in the next one. Ah, the good old days of Done-in-One stories. Anyway, Jonah Hex has made an appearance in the current run in Batman. For a quick recap, the Riddler has stolen a Fabrege egg that Batman has determined used to belong to Jonah Hex. Batman tracks down Jinny Hex (in #6) and questions her about it and she says she wants nothing to do with it.

  Batman tangles with Vandal Savage and then teams up with Green Lantern. They both head for Dinosaur Island where they spy on Savage deep within a mountain, contemplating how to activate the egg. Savage leaves the room and when Batman and GL get closer to the egg, they find themselves thrown back in time to the old west where they encounter Jonah Hex.

Batman 100-Page Giant #9 2019
"Batman Universe"
Brian Michael Bendis - story, Nick Derington - art & covers

Jonah draws down on Batman & GL and they remove their masks to prove they aren't crooks. Batman asks Jonah if he has ever heard of Vandal Savage. Jonah admits that one doesn't forget a name like that but admits to nothing else. Batman explains they are from another time and they are tracking down an article that Jonah has either owns or will own in the future.

Batman goes on to explains that the egg sent the two of them here and they found out about the egg from Jonah's Great-granddaughter. Jonah dismisses the other cowboys riding with him and then mutters "Not from this time..."

A short talk about their attire and GL uses his ring to hide his uniform. However, his 21st century clothes aren't much better. They head to a nearby town and Jonah pays for some appropriate duds for his two visitors. They decide to head after Savage but Hal reminds Batman that he has only 39 minutes left of charge in his ring and since he doesn't have the battery with him....well, things aren't looking good for them getting back home.

 Jonah tells them to mount up, what he knows of Savage lies a six days ride to the north. Hal decides to speed things up by handling the travel arrangements.

Needless to say, Jonah has never traveled like this before.

The trio end up in the town where Jonah last saw Savage. He relates that their encounter was an accident and Savage thought Jonah was after a treasure or something. Suddenly, Hal's ring starts acting weird and Hal vanishes from sight.

As Batman and Jonah try to figure out what just happened, Vandal Savage shows up with several friends in tow.

Batman 100-Page Giant #10 2019
"Batman Universe"
Brian Michael Bendis - story, Nick Derington - art & covers

Savage addresses Batman and Jonah, stating that as he understands it, Batman is from the 21st Century, there to steal the egg from Savage's hand. Jonah, on the other hand, brings up some unfinished business between he and Savage. Savage tells Jonah to settle down, since he barely remembers Hex.




Batman and Savage discuss the egg, how it brought Batman here and how it creates wormholes. Savage states his first inclination is to just leave Batman stuck in the 1800's since he would probably be happier here. Batman somewhat agrees. Savage then says that he will have his accompanying members of the Black Order kill them both, to which Jonah responds...

Savage takes one right through the heart but is only staggered, not killed. Jonah is annoyed and then the fight breaks out between Hex and Bats and several members of the Black Order.

There is a rollicking two page fight and then Batman sees the egg starting to glow in Savages hand. He shouts for Savage to drop the egg but the egg quickly flies from Savage's hand into Batman's grip. Then, not unlike what happened to GL, Batman floats up into the air and vanishes.

Batman finds himself in Crime Alley in the present day just as the Batmobile pulls up and out steps Vandal Savage holding a blaster. Savage states he's been looking for Batman for over 150 years and then opens fire, taking the egg from the fallen Batman.

Statistics for These Issues
Men Killed by Jonah - Undetermined, since the battle is a free for all
Running Total - 664 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 172 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None within this storyline.
Timeline - All within the span of a day.

As a guest appearance, this one was pretty good. Jonah was written true to character with not much phasing him, other than some ring-assisted air travel. I enjoyed the reference to Jonah having encountered Vandal Savage before. While it is possible that the refers back to when they were last in that town, it COULD be a call back to The Return of Bruce Wayne #4 or even All-Star Western V3 #18. 

A few things were off. In issue #9, the horses weren't very well drawn. The legs were so large the horses would have been 7-8 feet tall at the shoulder. Also, in one panel, GL and Bats word balloons were swapped, giving Bats a smart-ass reply when it had been GL mouthing off all issue.

Now, about Jinny Hex being Jonah's Great-granddaughter, let's do some math. Jason Hex, was born in 1876 and in 1899 we see he has a child (when Jason would be 23 or so). We also know that Woodson Hex was a private detective in the 30' and 40's. The time frame is about right for Woodson Hex P.I. to be the son of Jason, that we see in JH V2 #25. 

Now working backwards from Jinny Hex, who appears to be about 20-25 in 2019. That puts her birth around 1994-1999. Going with 1994 as the earliest she could be born let's estimate her father's age. According to Social Security statistics, the average age of the father at the birth of his first child in 1994 was 28. In 1994, most families had almost two kids. If Jinny was the second child, her dad was probably 30 when she was born. This would put HIS birth year at 1964.

So for Jinny to be a Great-granddaughter, Woodson would had to have fathered Jinny when he was 95? Possible, but improbable. So we currently have:

Jonah Hex
Jason Hex - son, 1876->1899
Woodson Hex - grandson, 1899 - ?
Jinny Hex - Great grand daughter, 1994

So I am postulating that Jason had another son, possibly as late as when he was 55 (1929) and this son (let's name him, I dunno, Dwayne Hex?), brother to Woodson, fathers Jinny when he is 65 in 1994. This is putting things really out on the fringes of what normally happens, but it is possible. 

It would have been a whole lot easier for Jinny to be a Great-great-granddaughter.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3 "The Bones of Bristol Bay" and #4 "Dark Knight, Dark Rider"

The Return of Bruce Wayne #3 August 2010
"The Bones of Bristol Bay"
Grant Morrison, story - Yanick Paquette and Michel Lacombe, art - Andy Kubert, cover

This appearance is more of a cameo, really, but it does give us a little bit more than a last panel reveal of Jonah Hex. The bulk of the story is devoted to Bruce Wayne versus Blackbeard. The last two pages are what we are interested in...

We are somewhere along a coast and we meet two men in a graveyard. They are discussing that they have to meet a man here in a huge haunted house that has been haunted since Judge Solomon's brother died in the caves. They speak of the mansion never having been finished and how their lives have been messed up since going out west. They also talk of having to meet a big-time spooky gunslinger.

As they approach the mansion, a voice beckons them into the parlor and we see a hand of cards, Aces and eights, on a table.  The man, Jonah Hex, tosses a joker toward the table and tells the men he figures they're men of reason since they had the guts to meet him on cursed and haunted ground.

The men state that they have brought down some sort of fury upon their heads, it never tires, it never stops. They present a primitive Batarang, saying that it was dug out of one of their shoulders. Their boss will pay triple of what is in the bag they brought if Hex can kill this thing that is after them. Then they ask is Hex is ready to prove that he is the best as everyone says that he is.

The next page reveals Bruce Wayne/Batman is 1800's garb, astride a horse.

Statistics for this issue

Men killed by Jonah - 0
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - With the reveal of the Deadman's hand, I'm somewhat quick to assume that this takes place after the death of Wild Bill Hickok but there is no direct reference to a Deadman's hand so that is no help. I would probably have to know more about the timeline of the series to pin this one down more precisely. The hand of cards reveals more as told in the Annotation at Comics Alliance.

Page 30: The mansion here is Wayne Manor -- Judge Solomon Wayne and his brother Joshua had purchased it unfinished from Van Derm, largely so they could use the caves as part of the Underground Railroad. Joshua died, as referenced here, playing a masked avenger role to save some escaping slaves. Note Hex's hand of cards - 8A8A, or "H.A.H.A." (with H as the 8th letter of the alphabet), the Joker's Dead Man's Hand from "Batman R.I.P." -- named such, by the way, for being the hand Wild Bill Hickok had in poker when he got offed.. It's worth noting, though, that here the cards are all black, rather than black and red as in the Joker's hand -- perhaps representing that instead of the punchline of life and death, we're dealing with the death that is life?

Page 31 : Of course, the first panel here makes the Joker allusion utterly blatant.

One thing I especially enjoyed was the juxtaposition of Jonah Hex's scar next to the iconic Joker card. For some reason it gave me chills. It's a nice cameo with some nice artwork.

The Return of Bruce Wayne #4 Sept 2010
"Dark Knight, Dark Rider"
Grant Morrison, story - Georges Jeanty and Walden Wong, art - Andy Kubert, cover

I'll be covering this issue a little more indepth because Jonah appears throughout it more. The keyword is "appears". The story starts with the gents from last issue slaughtering a family, hanging the father, killing the young son, and making off with the daughter and a small box with a bat symbol on it. They ride off, leaving the mother holding her dead son, her husband's corpse hanging in a tree as the rain falls.

She prays for a dark avenging angel to rescue her and we see Bruce Wayne/Batman appear.

Gotham City: The two men have been joined by a third (who was also at the house) and Jonah Hex. They are explaining how they encountered this bat creature back west and that they have hired Hex to work for "Monsewer Sauvage". They enter a gambling hall and introduce Hex to Vandal Savage.

Savage is pouring himself a stiff dose of laudanum because, while he can't die, the cancer he has is still eating him alive. Savage asks Hex if he cut himself shaving (nice little nod to the original WWT tales, there) and says that he would offer Hex some, but doesn't want to ruin Hex's aim. Hex declines anyway and clarifies that he has been hired to kill a mystery man, at least that is all he could understand from Savage's lackys.

Savage explains about a cowboy in black that have been giving Chuck and Lucky problems and Savage wants an end put to it since they have work to do. Hex comments that Savage is paying and then asks about what is behind a nearby door since it smells like they are burning sage and something else it that other room. Savage replies that it's complicated and it has something to do with Bonaparte.

Just then the door opens and Midnight Horse stumbles out (thank you, Comics Alliance for helping me with that part). Horse remarks that he is no longer needed but if the box is opened it will be the end of the world. Jonah states "End of the world's extra" as Chuck tosses a roll of bills to him. Savage says that there is more, always more, as soon as that demon is put down.

We cut to outside the gambling hall in the rain (however, the artwork makes it appear to be a small western town, rather than large Gotham City). Four men confront Batman and they end up with batarangs in their shooting arms. Batman ends up on the roof, taking out a guard. Inside, Horse shouts that HE is coming for the box, causing Hex to ask what has Horse been chewing. Savage replies that Hex can have either money or answers, not both.

Savage tells Chuck and Lucky to bring in the mystery man so Hex can kill him and orders Horse back into the room to open the box. Now that seems weird, you hire the best bounty hunter in the world and send to grunts out to drag in a mysterious bat-man so the bounty hunter can shoot him. I would send out Hex to earn his dang money!

Hex says that they can spare all the hoodoo, just point him to the target (!?!?!? He's a bounty HUNTER!) so he can get out of there.

Inside the room is Thomas Wayne(?), questioning the daughter from earlier, getting her to open the box. Horse enters the room, there is an argument and Wayne shoots and kills Horse, sending him crashing through the door and back into the room with Savage and Hex. Savage asks Hex to help him fill some old saddlebags with gold bars. Wayne exits the room, holding the box and dragging the girl with him.

Outside, Chuck and Lucky are tracking down Batman in the fog. One of them gets jerked up into the shadows and the other turns and shoots the third thug as he's trying to help. Suddenly Batman jumps out of the fog (we then learn they are inside (?)) and kicks the remaining thug down into the gambling tables.

Outside, Savage, the girl, the box, and Wayne are making a break for it in a covered wagon through the streets of Gotham. Hex is riding alongside on his horse. Batman swoops down, landing on the wagon. Hex shoots at Batman, hitting him in the left shoulder, Batman throws a batarang, hitting Hex in the right arm and knocking him off his horse.

The wagon is careening towards the docks where Alan Wayne is contemplating suicide and as Thomas Wayne battles Batman, Savage is fighting the girl and then the whole shooting match overturns on the dock, narrowly missing Alan Wayne and crashes into the water. Batman encounters Alan Wayne and the girl, the girl opens the box by whistling to it, Vandal Savage knocks out Thomas Wayne before he can shoot everyone, Batman beats the crap out of Thomas Wayne as Wayne calls out to Hex.

Jonah comes striding out of the rain, holding a pistol on Batman. Wayne demands that Hex shoot, while the girl begs him not to. Hex replies:

and shoots Batman, causing him to fall off the dock into the water, never to surface. There is closing dialogue from Alan Wayne explaining that Hex rode off to meet his destiny, we see Jonah Hex riding into the sunset, looking at a batarang, his saddlebags stuffed with the gold bars. A few bars lay in the sand behind him and we are unsure if he has tossed them aside or they have accidentally fallen out.

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah -  0
Running Total - 487 (432 past, 55 future)
Jonah's Injuries - Batarang in right bicep.
Timeline -  Unclear, right after last issue.

It's hard to rate the 4th issue of a 6 part series when you don't follow the series, so I won't try. I'll just go into the characterization of Hex. Let me just say: What the HELL?!?!?! The whole idea of hiring a bounty hunter and having him just sit around waiting for some thugs to drag the prey to him is absolutely nuts. We should have seen Hex on the rooftops attempting to track Batman down. But since this is a Batman title, he gets all the glory and everyone else stands around letting Batman be all spooky and stuff.

Hex just working for the cash is nice, especially shutting up when Savage tells him that he can have money or answers.  Jonah shooting Batman in the end seemed appropriate, since he did have a score to settle for the batarang in the arm. And i did like the idea of Hex ending up with Napolean Bonaparte's gold, but it is very unclear as to why it's on the ground in the end.

The artwork was murky and made it hard to follow the story. The previous issue had art that I could follow, even though I didn't know the whole storyline.

I would give this about a 3 out of 10 for a Hex appearance, not great and Hex didn't do much, but it was better than his appearance in Swamp Thing.

Hex #13 "The Dogs of War"

Hex #13 Sept 1986
"The Dogs of War"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art - Denys Cowan and Rick Magyar

Batman's Bat-plane has just taken a header into the river and the Terminators are destroyed, leaving Jonah Hex on the riverbank about to jump in to rescue Batman. Hex dives in to the murky river and locates the Bat-plane but finds no evidence of Batman's body. He is suddenly attacked by two scuba-diving thugs, knocked unconscious and dragged away underwater.

Three thousand miles away (presumably outside Seattle) the Road Reapers are bearing down on a water convoy and as they start their attack the Reapers (and we as well) are treated to the sight of these fellas!!!!

Yeah, it's a giant spacecraft that unloads a flying giant Manta Ray, a Ninja, a Viking, and a Roman Centurion and the spaceship is piloted by Stanley Harris. All of these guys have bullet-proof armor and make short work of the Reapers, especially when the Centurion throws force blasts from his hands, the Manta Ray shoots paralyzing lasers from his eyes, and the Ninja turns into a gigantic Oni (demon). The spaceship lands and the captured Road Reapers are loaded onto the ship and taken away.

Jonah regains consciousness to find himself in a wooden cage hanging from the ceiling. Two very barbaric looking goons are heating up a large kettle and are talking about cooking Jonah Hex up to make some Hexcellent stew. (hee hee, my joke, not theirs. Hey! I think it's the first time in 4 years I've made that pun). Jonah, not one to be gnawed on, grabs his knife, cuts the rope holding the cage and the entire thing falls on the goons, breaking open and knocking them into the fire.

Jonah makes tracks through what appears to be a sewer system and finally ends up on the bank of the river, free for now.

Back to the giant spaceship with the captured Road Reapers, we find that the ship has arrived at a huge area that appears to be some sort of prison work camp. The Reapers recognize some of the other workers as being from rival gangs and it slowly dawns on them that they are now slaves!

Jonah finally makes it back into town and recovers his motorcycle and ends up back at the Kit Kat Klub to find Stiletta. He grabs both pistols and kicks the door in only to find out that it is now and respectable restaurant. Jonah is fairly confused until he recognizes one of the workers as the referee from the fight. Jonah drags him over to a console with a ton of buttons and Jonah mashes the correct button that turns the restaurant back into the Kit Kat Klub, sliding back a wall to reveal the huge arena. Jonah demands to know where Stiletta is and the referee tells him that Stiletta is probably with Austin and Ingalls, owners of the Klub, and part of the Combine, the group that killed Batman.

That allows us to quickly transition to a meeting of the Combine that is just breaking up. Two men, we can assume Austin and Ingalls, are leaving the building and approach their limo. When they get in they find their limo driver naked and tied up in the back seat and Jonah Hex in the driver's seat. Jonah pulls out a pistol, demanding to know where Stiletta is. One of the men pushes a button that opens up a compartment holding a pistol. The man grabs it and Jonah plugs him square between the eyes. Jonah tromps the gas and takes off in the limo and a bodyguard orders several thugs on cycles to give chase.

Back at the slave camp we see a strange shadowy figure floating within a large building full of video screens. The figure speaks of how slowly the process is going but at least things are moving along, thanks to his Dogs of War. When the light shines on the figure, it appears to be an alien!

Statistics for this Issue

Men Killed by Jonah: Looks to be three. One shot and two burned alive.
Running Total: 477 (428 past, 49 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beat up and knocked out.
Timeline: Immediately after last issue so not even a day passes during this issue.

Wow. I think right about here is where I started losing interest in this book. Yup, this is the book that jumped the shark for me. I can take Jonah in the future with some of the sci-fi stuff, but the space ships, aliens, and everything else thrown in here, was just too much. Of course, we only have about five more issues left.

The search for Stiletta and the Combine/Conglomerate is a storyline that interests me and I wish we could have stuck along those lines. Texeira's work is still good, but the inking and coloring kind of muddy everything up. Also, Hex was never printed on white Mondo paper so it really suffers from the coloring process.

It's gonna be hard to get through these next issues. I'll just be honest with ya. But I think it will be kind of like a band-aid, I should just rip it off and get the pain over with.

Next Issue: Jonah Hex vs. Stiletta in a fight to the death!!!

Hex #12 "Siege of the Terminators"

Hex #12
"Siege of the Terminators"

Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon, art and cover

Plummeting to their deaths from last issue, Batman and Jonah Hex are sure to be street pizza since the flight capability of Batman's suit was destroyed by Jonah's knife throw. However, Batman isn't a one trick pony and unleashes his Bat-rope, snagging a flagpole as they fall past. Jonah manages to shinny up the rope to the flagpole and then over to the building. Batman follows suit and just before he reaches the flagpole, the pole starts to snap.

Jonah quickly undoes the chains on his boots and throws one end to Batman and then pulls Batman to safety. Batman states that they need to talk a few things over.

Meanwhile, we are privy to a discussion amongst the folks that own the giant robots and flew Jonah in from Seattle to New York in order to take care of Batman. They are discussing their chances of successfully getting the robots armed and if they can't bribe Batman, maybe Jonah Hex will kill him.

We cut back to Batman's giant flying Bat-plane where Batman has taken the descriptions given by Jonah, fed them into his computer and realizes that these guys work for the Combine. Hex asks about Stiletta but Batman says he has no idea. He explains that these two guys that have conned Jonah run the Kit Kat Klub on the old West side.

Batman gives Jonah directions to club and drops him off near his motorcycle. He also gives Jonah a warning, saying that Batman doesn't like guns or the people that use him, so Jonah had better find Stiletta and get out of town. Jonah says Batman better not push his luck with Jonah, where he comes from they string up hombres with masks. Batman replies "You mean Seattle?" and flies off. Watching the Bat-plane leave Hex replies "Uh-uh. Ah mean 1875."

So, we go see what is transpiring in the Kit Kat Klub and we fight a fight ring surrounded by a huge crowd. In the ring is the Blonde Spitfire going up against Bertha (weighing in at 267 pounds). Bertha punches the ringmaster and throws knives at the Spitfire (Stiletta). Stiletta dodges the knives and then pulls a whip, smacking Bertha in the face. Bertha charges her and the tussle continues on.

Elsewhere, there is a blind man working his way down an alley when he is set upon by a gang of thugs, however, Batman suddenly swoops in, beats the living tar out of the thugs and the starts questioning the blind man, who is one of Batman's informants. The blind man, Mole, explains that the Combine has flown in Jonah Hex to kill Batman and they're also trying to sucker the city council to accepting the Terminator robots as well as getting Batman to relax the firearms restrictions so they can arm the Terminators with lasers.

Back at the Kit Kat Klub, the fight continues until Stiletta finally knocks down Bertha, grabs a huge knife and buries it in the middle of Bertha's back, killing her. Just then Jonah busts into the club and attempts to get Stiletta out of the ring, but he is beaten senseless by the club bouncers and tossed into a dumpster.

In the Combine's HQ, they receive a giftbox but when they open it, several bats fly out and they find a note from Batman warning them about activating the Terminators.

That evening, Batman is heading back to his hideout but there is a large explosion at a local fuel depot and he flies in to put out the flames.

During this time, several hearses enter a warehouse owned by the Combine and start unloading the huge lasers that the Combine wants to put into the Terminators. Turns out that the Combine started the depot fire to keep Batman busy and when they get the lasers in place, they unleash three Terminators into downtown Manhattan.

Batman gets the fire out and then notices the problems in Manhattan. The cops are trying to fight the giant robots but to no avail and Batman has a slight problem, he has no firepower on the Bat-plane so he can do little more than swoop around and be an irritant.

Jonah Hex eventually comes to in the dumpster and sees the robots nearby, fighting Batman. Jonah contemplates taking off to find Stiletta again, but decides to go help Batman. However, after getting on his motorcycle and arriving on the scene, Jonah learns just how huge the robots are and on top of that, they are bulletproof.

So what is a cowboy to do? Take off between some skyscrapers, drag dynamite off his cycle, rig it up to two buildings and then lure a robot to follow him and hit the tripwire, which drops both buildings onto the robot. Another robot has waded into the river and is shooting at Batman with those dreaded lasers. As the robot walks under a bridge, Batman uses his electromagnet to pull four bolts out of the bridge and drop the entire thing on the robot (personally, I would hate to drive on a bridge being held together by four bolts that had no nuts on them!)

The last robot is destroying a housing complex and Batman swerves the Bat-plane into an antenna on a power plant, slicing it off and into the robot, electrocuting the robot and causing it to explode. The Bat-plane has lost a wing and crashes into the river......

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Jonah: 0
Running Total: 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries: Beaten unconscious
Timeline: Seems like the sun came up around here somewhere, everything is fairly murky on this one so let's add one more day. Day 17 of the future.

Wow, this one almost hurts to reread. I seem to remember enjoying it back in '86, but now it just falls there and lies on the ground twitching. Jonah Hex against giant robots? Nope, it doesn't work. Toss in a few pop culture references ("Ain't that nightmare 2047", "The Batman's over 21") and this book becomes less about Jonah and more about the supporting characters and their time. It just doesn't work at all. Sadly, I feel that this book was the start of the downfall of Hex because, believe me, things get even weirder the farther along we go.

Next Issue: We learn the fate of Stanley Harris and get to meet the DOGS OF WAR!!!

Hex #11 "Night of the Bat"

HEX #11 July 1986
"Night of the Bat"
Michael Fleisher, story - Mark Texeira and Carlos Garzon and Pablos Marcos, art - Denys Cowan and Dick Giordano, cover

Remember waaaay back when in issue 10 that those flying motorcycle things were shooting at Jonah? Well it turns out that they're some sort of hovercraft and Jonah Hex is being targeted because Mabel wants her guns back. But of course the guys sent to do Mabel's dirty work have made two mistakes:

1. They went after Jonah Hex.
2. They are using something that can be shout out of the sky.

And of course, Jonah does just that, nailing one machine but suddenly another hovercraft comes swinging along and blows the bejesus out of the other thug. It then lands and the guys inside present Jonah with the bloody outfit of Stiletta's.

JUMP CUT!!!

Deep underneath the ruins of the Needle, Reinhold Borsten is clawing his way through the rubble when he hears someone else digging DOWN towards him. It turns out to be Kinglet. Hmm, Kinglet? Kinglet? I THINK he's a doctor or a flunky. I'll check and get back to you later. ANYWAY, Kinglet has found Borsten and he is wearing an airtank and a mask. He tells Borsten that they will have to share the airtank but they can make it back to the surface. Borsten grabs the air mask, whips out a pistol and kills Kinglet. Borsten then dons the airtank and as he claws his way to the surface he mentally vows that he will make Jonah Hex suffer for having caused Kinglets death. Wow, I thought Quentin Turnbull was one twisted dude.

Back in the city, Jonah is riding in a hovo with his new 'friends' who are showing him a video of some shadowy figure whipping Stiletta. The new 'friends' print off a photo of the assailant so Jonah can find him...

Now we are in New York city and seeing it through an infrared lens and via a zoom lens we see a thug toting a pistol. That, in and of itself, is enough to throw this man into action...

That's right, it is the Batman of 2050 and New York City has a no gun rule that he upholds. Batman beats the living crap out of the smugglers and then blows up all the weaponry that the smugglers were bringing into the city. He jumps into his Batplane and returns to his secret lair deep within the Statue of Liberty. It is then that we are treated to a ..

FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

Five short years ago (2045) Batman was a world-class gymnast and a doctoral candidate in Criminology at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice in New York. He idolized Batman and finally figured out that Batman was really Bruce Wayne and had actually discovered the original Batcave. He was in the Batcave when the missiles were launched. He survived the war and missed the madness that ensued.

Both of his parents also survived. His mother, Miram Cohen, was a rabbi and was a proponent of gun control. His father, Kenneth Cohen was a top level disarmament negotiator under three administrations. Sadly, they were of two groups that were targeted in the new mob mentality, Jews and Gun control advocates. One evening, they were gunned down and therefore the new Batman was born.
END OF FLASHBACK ORIGIN!!!!

The next afternoon, deep in the heart of New York in a fortified headquarters we see some very large robots withstand lasers, huge titanium hammers and other dangers. The owners of the robots are pitching them as new 'enforcers' for NYC. Sadly, all of the firepower that the robots were to have has been destroyed by the Batman. The owners are telling their clients, the Municipal Welfare Council, that the robots will be unable to fulfill the order until the Batman is gone. Who should control crime in this town, a vigilante or the people?

That night, Jonah Hex is dropped of in the slums by his new 'friends'. Jonah, not knowing who or what Batman is, and not knowing of the Batman's rule, boldly walks through town with his pistol strapped to his hip. It doesn't take long for Batman to locate Jonah and swoop down, starting a fight. Of course, Jonah recognizes the man who beat Stiletta and is more than happy to take on the caped man.

Batman is able to disarm Hex and take his pistols. Then Batman flies off but Jonah isn't finished. Grabbing his knife, Hex throws it and manages to pierce Batman's cape and damage the anti-grav disc that gives Batman flight. Batman plummets onto a nearby rooftop and Jonah makes tracks up the fire-escape and continues the fight. Batman grabs Jonah and flips him over the edge of the roof, but Jonah grabs Batman and drags him over the edge with him. Of course, they both are now falling to their deaths....

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Hex - 1 in the rotor-bike
Running Total - 474 (428 past, 46 future)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue starts and the end of the prior issue and then we have one day pass. That would mean that we are now end on day 16 of Jonah in the future. Wow, That's a busy two weeks for anybody!

If I have to accept that Jonah Hex is part of the DCU (and I don't want to) this is a fun story. Hex is a pawn and gets suckered into the fight with Batman. This version of Batman, while understandable in his mission, kinda tosses aside the stuff he should have been learning in college about the Constitution and decides to take everything into his own hands. Granted, the 'law' is now the Conglomerate (aka The Mob), but it appears that he has no forward vision of rebuilding a society that can govern itself.

And of course, we get Jonah Hex in New York so what is not to love? This issue gets a thumbs up.

Next Issue: Will Jonah get his pistols back? Will he survive that fall from the roof? Find out and watch the fireworks when the giant robots get involved and everything gets blown all to hell.

Hal & Jonah: Head to Head!! Round 23

Just to prove that Batman 2050 isn't just a one-shot wonder, here he is kicking Jonah Hex in the head AGAIN!!!
Just one page over from yesterday in Hex #11

Hal & Jonah: Head to Head!! Round 22

You think Batman hates guns? Well the Batman from 2050 hates them even more. He has established all of New York City a gun-free zone. Of course, Jonah Hex doesn't care about that and goes out for a stroll. Needless to say, Batman gives Jonah a quick KUCK to the head.
Batman may kick you, but Batman 2050 will kuck the living hell outta you!! From the world famous Hex #11.

House Ads #24 Spectaculars

A nice Halloween themed ad for two of the 100 page spectaculars!!

Hal & Jonah: Head to Head! Round 4

Sally thinks she's so great, having Hal in the Old West and Hal getting punched by Batman. Phhgghhlph! Jonah LIVES in the Old West and Jonah has also been punched by Batman.

When the Batman punches you, it makes no sound! This silent blow to the head was in Superman/Batman #16.

Eldest #1

Well, hidey ho fair readers of the greatest Jonah Hex blog ever. This is Eldest and I'm gonna try my hand at this whole comic book blogging thing. I know Sally and Sea discussed the ways to make a comic blog successful, but I unfortunately don't have the resources available at the moment to do it their way, so I'll have to try from scratch.

I finally managed to wrangle some free time away from my job and other random things to get to Barnes and Noble so I could "free-read" some trades I had missed out on.

All-Star Batman
Honestly, I'm not sure I really like Frank Miller all that much. I mean, I enjoyed The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Returns was ok, but Sin City isn't really how I roll and I enjoyed 300 the movie more than the book (awful, I know). All that aside, it was all I could do to not laugh out loud while reading this book. Batman's running train of thought is perfect for his 21st century characterization (Note: I think it's important to clarify the 21st century thing because I'm not sure this is how Bats should actually be written, but it's how he's being written so...).

Overall, a great book. I especially loved the yellow room and how Hal is just a complete and total moron compared to Bats. Almost dying because of an inexperienced Robin: Not cool. Being taunted with lemonade: Freakin hilarious. Take that Guardians of the Universe! My one gripe with the story is how easily Dick becomes Robin. Seriously he doesn't flip out or anything? Disbelief....suspension.....reaching....limit.....

All-Star Superman
There's no way Grant Morrison could have actually written this book, but I'll get to that later. Absolutely loved this story. Characterization was great, Clark acting like a bumbling but lovable idiot (while saving people in the background) was great. As usual I remain in the minority for not liking Quietly's artwork...at all. I mean, it's good, just not my style. Didn't like him back when he was doing New X-Men with Morrison and I still don't like him. Only person I've ever seen who can make Emma and Jean into hideous man-like figures, but whatever. Great story, great dialogue (Random side note: Why is blogger telling me this is spelled wrong? Proof I'm smarter than the interwebs).

Ok, back to why someone else wrote this story. It was entirely too coherent. I actually understood it all in one read. And that had me worried because I have this theory about Grant Morrison. Bear with me because this could be a little hard to follow. There was an episode of Family Guy where Lois finds out that Peter is a prodigy on the piano but only when he's drunk. That's exactly how I think Morrison writes. He has to be sitting at his computer or in his living room getting ready to go on a 48 hour writing binge and just drink everything he can get his hands on and then snort, shoot, or smoke every drug he can find. This is the only explanation for what he comes up with. And that brings us to...

Batman: R.I.P
Weirdest story I've ever read. And this is coming from the guy who's dad has the largest single collection of Weird Western Tales in the world. The entire idea of Bats creating a subconscious identity for himself in case of a post hypnotic attack AND THEN MAKING THAT IDENTITY ANOTHER BATMAN is one of three things:

1. Pure genius

2. Absolutely the most ludicrous thing I've ever read

3. The highest of high comedy

and the best part... I can't decide which it is! Having absolutely no backstory and for some reason expecting this "event" to stand on its own (which it did better than I expected after finishing the first page) I managed to follow the story for the most part. The Joker was amazingly insane, people randomly disappeared with no explanation, in perfect Morrison fashion, only to reappear later, people lived, people "died", and everything was drawn beautifully. Not sure I would recommend this to someone who didn't either follow Batman or enjoy Morrison but then again, I doubt it was written for anyone else. So...

Final Crisis
Followed this from the beginning but I don't really think it should ever be considered as anything BUT a trade because that's just not how Grant Morrison rolls. Seriously, reading his stuff issue to issue is like watching the middle five minutes of LOST every week and that's it. I even went and bought the two Superman Beyond issues so dad would stop whining. Taken as a whole I really think this was about what I expected. After the 2 recent Crises failed miserably to live up to the original (which kicked ass and took names in my humble opinion) and the fact that the Idiot-in-Chief over at DC was prominently involved, I wasn't optimistic. So, read as a whole, I actually enjoyed this, even if it was so far out there I had to trip out on LSD sometimes to feel like I belonged.

So there's your introduction to my ridiculously rambling writing style (and my alliterative ability). Hope it doesn't scare you away. Stay tuned for why Sally's blog may cost you a fortune...and why that's a good thing. Coming soon!

_J

Weekly Wonderous Moment In Comics #50

Batman's a lonely guy..

... a lonely guy cruisin' a quiet scene...

...a lonely guy cruisin' a quiet scene having to operate solo...

...a lonely guy cruisin' a quiet scene having to operate solo can get real bored...

...a lonely guy cruisin' a quiet scene having to operate solo can get real bored having no action at all...

But why, you ask, why doesn't Batman, cool playboy that he is, go out on the town and pick up some chicks?

Cuz the ones he knows are absolutely chimp-flipping crazy!!!!!

Showcase Presents the Brave and the Bold #1 aka Bob Haney smokes every substance known to man and then sits down at a typewriter.

Superman & Batman Generations 3 #8 "Century 19 History Lesson: Part Two"

Superman & Batman Generations 3 #8 Oct 2003
"Century 19 History Lesson: Part Two"
John Byrne, Story, Art, & Cover

How's THAT for the most unwieldy book title evar?!?!?

Okay, I have to admit, I have absolutely no idea what is going on here, but it's Elseworlds, so it doesn't really matter now, does it? I can say that Batman & Superman are involved and I think it's Superman's daughter and Darkseid is there as well as Metron on Scott Free. So hang on, we're in for a bumpy ride.

Batman and Lara tear open an old coffin and find Superman alive!!! Superman relates some of the back story and how he ends up time-traveling and landing in Smallville, Kansas, 50 years before he landed there as a child. If we're talking about the 1938 landing, it would place him in 1888.

Anyway, Superman changes into his Clark Kent duds and walks into town and learns that Scott Free is the town sheriff. He also learns that Metron is helping out around town. Anyway, they talk some about time travel and then they decide to let their one prisoner free. The prisoner promises to be good and then walks across the street to talk to a woman.

The man, Jonny, is talking about getting revenge for what happened back in the Civil War but the woman, Em, doesn't want him to go through with it. The object of the revenge? Well, he's sitting across the street in a saloon, enjoying lunch...









Anyway, Em talks to Superman, asking if he can talk sense into Jonny. And she asks his name. Superman replies that his name is Clark Kent. Em is aghast. She says that Jonny's last name is Kent and her name is Martha Clark!!

Now Superman is in a quandry. There is no record of his dad fighting Jonah Hex, but he can't let theh man be gunned down, but he can't interfere in history!! Seems that Jonah Hex is hunting a killer named Caleb Lamb. Anyway, tomorrow comes and with it, high noon....









Jonah doesn't get any farther in his sentence before Jonny interrupts him. The shot that just nicked Hex went across the street and struck down Martha Kent. They take Martha to the only doc in town but ha can't do a thing.

Metron jumps on his chair and flies to Metropolis and gets a doctor (blindfolding him for the trip back). The doc is able to get the bullet, but he says that Martha will never have children. After that, Jonny proposes to her and Metron solves the problem of getting Superman back to his own time.

Yup, it's the huge coffin thing at the start of the story. It was actually a suspended animation chamber. The last two pages have Darkseid gloating as only he can, but I haven't read the seven previous issues and I couldn't care less.

Statistics for this Issue

They don't really count, since this is Elseworlds, but Jonah guns down Caleb Lamb.

It was nice to see a Byrne Hex. Pretty ugly and fairly true to form. Since it is a Superman/Batman book, Jonah does shoot a gun out of Jonathon's hand.

Next week: we head back into our regular Jonah Hex continuity.

House Ads #21

I always enjoyed the giant villains looming over the city, it was even cooler than the Go-Go checks across the top of the book.