Jonah Hex V2 #22 "The Current War"

Jonah Hex V2 #22 Oct. '07

"The Current War"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Phil Noto - art and cover

Well, it's been almost a full year since my last, but we ARE back in the saddle again my friends, and I will do my best to be weekly. We have a lot of ground to cover, so let's jump right into...

The Man of Tomorrow

A bolt of lightning break through the night sky and Jonah is caught in a downpour, followed by a man navigating what looks like a medicine show wagon. They arrive at a large house and Hex is ushered into the presence of a man seated in front of a roaring fire. The man, Mr. Booth, by name, has called for Hex and in an effort to explain WHY he needs a man of Jonah's skills, starts speaking of dime novels.

He covers the brief history of this form of literature, starting with Beadle's Dime Novels and highlighting one published in 1862, The Steam Man of the Prairies and how it impacted his life. Booth then queries Hex if he has heard of Edison and Tesla. Jonah acknowledges having heard of Edison. Booth leads Hex to a large barn on the property and starts speaking, both at length and to the consternation of Jonah, about the upcoming twentieth century and wonders that it will surely hold.

  In the barn, a laboratory and workshop, Booth uncovers and large sheet covered Automata, a robot of sorts. He describes how Nikola Tesla is currently working on devices such as the one standing before them. Booth explains how, a week ago, a worker of his, Albert Fennimore, has stolen the newest model of Booth's robots as well as the blueprints and has undoubtedly whisked them away to Edison.  Jonah doesn't seem very interested in tracking a a tin man, but Booth is persistent, explaining that two men, along with a vary large crate, were seen leaving two days on a train bound northward.

   Jonah postulates that men willing to steal such a machine might be willing to kill in order to keep it and Booth is asking Jonah to murder them in an illegal and unprovoked manner, and as such, Jonah cannot...

  Booth offers $10,000 and states that he is not asking that Edison or his men be harmed, but if such happens, then why should either of them care? Booth states that the train was headed to Denver and Edison is know to have a fortress there.

Fortress of the Future

Under cover of darkness, Jonah comes riding through a mountain pass and eventually arrives in front of a huge stockade fort. Two armed guards inform Jonah that he is to leave but Jonah tells them to announce his arrival and that he was sent by Aubrey Booth. The guards are not swayed and when they tell Jonah to leave, he knocks one down with his horse and leaps upon the other one, holding him a gunpoint when reinforcements arrive. Jonah demands that he be let in so he can determine the accuracy of Booth's claim that his invention was stolen.

The guards take him inside.

Inside, there is a giant Tesla coil (?!?) in the center of the courtyard, lights strung all about, and several large robots being worked on by assistants. Eventually, Hex is escorted into the lab and the presence of Thomas Edison himself. Edison asks of Jonah's business and Jonah lays his cards on the table. Edison, draping his arm around Jonah's shoulder, states that they shall have supper together and sort this entire matter out. Jonah replies that Edison shouldn't be touching him.

Good Old-Fashioned Bullets

At dinner, Edison asks if Jonah has ever seen electric lights before and Hex confesses that he has, in Gotham City. Edison waxes about how, soon, the country will be covered with his electric bulbs, banishing the darkness. Hex asks about Booth's machine.

Edison explains that the Steam-Powered Man was actually and invention of Edison's and Booth, a former employee, is the one that stole it. Edison produces papers indicating that Booth was an employee and worked on the Steam-Powered Man project. Jonah asks how hard it would be to falsify such papers. Edison states that he COULD have done so, but sending Jonah away would have been much easier.

Edison then steers the conversation to the business in which Hex finds himself employed, bounty hunting, and talk of the future and all that it holds. During their conversation there is a huge noise outside and when Edison and Hex investigate they discover the walls have been breached and several masked men are riding inside with torches and causing mayhem.

One of Edison's guards say they could be locals, afraid of the mystery surrounding the labs and the fortress. Hex sees that one of the men has dynamite and shoots the explosive, killing the man. Jonah grabs the man's horse, mounts up, and starts shooting several of the remaining invaders. Edison notices a symbol on the jacket of one of the dead invaders. Jonah explains that Booth had the same symbol on his jacket.

Edison is convinced that Booth sent Hex to find Edison so that Booth's men could come and kill him. He also speaks of Tesla, another of his enemies that want to see him destroyed. Edison tells Jonah that maybe men will eventually stop killing each other with bullets but may utilize guns that shoot electricity and offers Jonah the job of personal body guard and perhaps even to eliminate Tesla. Jonah turns him down, but does demand money for helping save Edison's precious labs.

Surveying the damage that has been done, Edison tells Jonah that the machine age IS coming and soon the skies and streets will be full of machines. Jonah replies that by then they both will be dead, and better off for it.

Statistics for the issue
Men Killed by Jonah - We see three men killed
Running Total - 639 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 147 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - Not sure WHERE Jonah started or how long it took him to get to the Rocky Mountain near Denver. Let's just call it a week and be done with it. Edison's reference to Tesla and their broken contract of $50,000, puts this one after 1884. Booth's mention of alternating current, pushes this closer to 1890.
Rape Percentage - 36% (8 out of 22)

Wow, what a stinker to return to blogging with. I'm not a fan of Noto's work and his coloring looks like cheap Heroclix figures dipped in walnut varnish. Everything is dark, murky, stiff, muddy. I would be inclined to call it 'meh' but that would entail more work than what Noto put into the colors. If this was someone's introduction to Jonah Hex, I can see them never picking up another book of Jonah's. Yeah, it IS that bad.

Next Issue: Indians, The Army, and someone gets 'schooled'!!

Jonah Hex V2 #20 "Unfinished Business"

Jonah Hex V2 #20 Aug '07

"Unfinished Business"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti - story, Phil Noto - art and cover

The Gentlemen's Posse 
Darkness on the open plain, a small campfire burns in the night, a slumbering gunman asleep nearby. Five men on horseback ride up, silently dismount and move into the camp, weapons at the ready. They tell Hex to get up but he doesn't stir. Again they order him to rise. Nothing. They lift his hat to learn that Jonah Hex is in a stone drunken stupor, unconscious and under the effects of strong spirits. One of the men wonders if they should shoot him in his sleep. The leader orders them to get the rope from Hex's horse.

Daylight and the world is upside down. Better yet, Jonah Hex is hanging upside down, hogtied and hanging from a tree with the words "Courtesy of Mr. Park" scratched into the sand underneath him. Jonah regurgitates the contents of his stomach and the gathering vultures peck at the offering greedily. Jonah hangs there, assessing his situation when he spies the wolves trotting towards him. He tries to coax a vulture closer and finally ends up biting his own tongue hard enough to cause it to spray blood which attracts the vultures. One of the birds strays to close to Hex and he lunges as best he can, grabbing the bird's neck in his teeth and biting the head clean off.

The wolves (or are they wild dogs?) descend upon the bird's bleeding torso as Jonah takes the vulture's head in his teeth and uses the beak to start cutting away at the ropes wrapped around his chest. The rope parts and Jonah crashes down onto the bloody vulture/wild dog picnic and the dogs commence to tear into him. Suddenly a gunshot rings out and the dogs scatter. It is then that Jonah finally sees Hector, Mr. Parks henchman/partner.

Hector explains that he has a vested interest in having Mr. Parks know that Jonah Hex is dead. He does not plan on killing Hex, just giving him enough of a warning to stay out of Sulphur Springs for the rest of his days. Hector's men hold Hex down as Hector stomps on Jonah's hands, breaking all of his fingers (Kinda like what Preston did way back in the day).

That Damn Idiot
Jonah starts walking across the desert and he sees several men on horseback swiftly approaching him. Through the dust and heat he recognizes the lead horseman is none other than Chako! Hex jumps up on Chako's horse behind him and Chako requests that Hex shoot the men that are chasing them. Turns out that Chako has stolen a horse. Jonah reaches around Chako, grabs the reins and pulls the horse up short, throwing them both to the ground. The pursuers dismount and Jonah makes short work of them, headbutting and kicking them to the ground. Chako finishes one his own self.

Chako jumps up and starts thanking Hex. Jonah looks down at his busted hand, slowly forms a fist, and punches Chako in the jaw.

Chako, in his own way, ends up talking through getting punched and explains that he stole the horse because it belonged to a lovely woman named Rachel. When Hex asks about the mute girl back in Two Pines, Chako reveals that he is too handsome for just one woman. Hex commandeers a pistol and a horse from one of the unconscious men and then rides off. Chako, being Chako, decides that he and Hex are heading the same way and follows a safe distance behind, but still within earshot.

The Kindness of a Familiar Whore
The Oklahoma Panhandle - It's night and Chako is still talking as they ride into town. Jonah rides up to the saloon where we meet the blond hooker from last issue. She remembers Hex and she accompanies him and Chako into the saloon. Hex tells Chako to cheat at cards until he has enough money to buy them dinner. Jonah asks the woman her name (Dusty Rose) and asks a favor of her. When then get down to brass tacks Jonah reveals that he'll pay her $500 for a week's worth of work in Texas.

About that time, a row starts at the poker table where Chako is at. A couple of men are accusing Chako of cheating until Hex steps up and they recognize him as the guy that burnt down the Rio and they leave Chako alone.  Hex tells Chako that after tonight they are parting company.

The Explosive Conclusion
Sulphur Springs, Texas, Three weeks later. Mr. Parks and Hector are discussing their latest business venture of having added dice to their gambling establishment. Hector is suggesting adding fighting matches but Parks finds the idea somewhat grisly. Just then all of Parks men walk into the room, asking why they were wanted. Parks is confused and they produce a note that is supposedly signed by Horace. As Parks is placing something in the wall safe, he finds a note and asks Horace if he put it in there.

Hector reads it and states that they have a problem. We then hear a shout from outside and they look out the window to see Jonah Hex and Dusty Rose standing next to a dynamite plunger on the ground outside in the darkness. That's when Parks realizes that Dusty was the woman with him last night and that she has wired the room with dynamite. Hex slams the plunger down with his foot and the whole second floor of the saloon meets up with God Almighty. Bodies rain down and Dusty states "That was unexpected." to which Jonah retorts "Not bad for a whore".

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 5.
Running Total - 626 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 134 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Hung upside down, busted hands, bitten bloody tongue
Timeline - This is after the adventures in issue 19 so it is probably around 1890. Covers about 3-4 weeks.
Rape Percentage - 35% (7 out of 20)

This one wasn't too bad. Again, Noto's work is not the best. It was good to see several folks back in the book giving us a break from the "done in one" format, but it is still written well enough that I didn't HAVE to have read #19 or even #4 to enjoy the story. Biting off a vulture head and then using the bloody beak to cut yourself free while wild dogs tear at the dead bird's carcass.... that's more badass than 90% of what Batman has EVER done (including hitting a guy with a car battery) I really enjoy Chako and wouldn't mind seeing him pop up from time to time. The bit where Jonah considers his broken hand and STILL punches Chako was worth the price of admission.

Next time: Hex encounters the secret of the Devil's Paw!

Jonah Hex V2 #19 "Texas Money"

Jonah Hex #19 V2 Jul '07

"Texas Money"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover


Looking For A Bad Man -  Texas, Jonah rides into town and finds a large ring of folks surrounding a big burly man who is wielding a knife. Jonah asks what is going on and one man replies that it's a Mexican Tug of War. The man with the knife is calling everyone all kinds of names for coward. Hex asks one guy if he is going to take up the challenge of a fight. The man declines and Hex replies that the man in the circle has everyone bluffed. Hex grabs his tomahawk and enters the ring, demanding an explanation. The man explains that he works for another man looking to hire someone with enough sand to do a difficult job.

A Deal is Struck - Jonah is led into a nearby saloon and introduced to the owner, Mr. Parks. Jonah asks for the details and Parks starts in on a long winded story. Jonah asks if he is going to get to the point. Parks declares that he is not one to be talked to in such a manner. Hex starts to walk out saying to send for him when the stories are over. Parks says that he needs some men found and killed.

Jonah asks how much. Parks replies with three thousand in gold. Two of his nephews were kidnapped. Jonah is surprised that THAT amount of money wasn't enough to stir any of the townsfolk into action. Parks explains that he does have men working for him that could do it, but they are conducting other business for him. He has been expecting a ransom note, but none has been forthcoming.

Hex smells something wrong and asks how long the nephews have been gone. Three days. Jonah asks for a list of Parks enemies. Parks is taken aback at the accusation but Jonah insists that a man as powerful as Parks has made at least a few enemies. Parks admits that he has used his money to smooth over some infractions that the nephews have instigated. Hex takes his leave and Parks offers the aide of his man, Hector (the knife guy). Hex declines and leaves.

Madam Blood's Treasure - Kansas, one month later. Madam Blood helps a cowboy named Tom Leverlock into her bedroom. He is boasting of several things, his rich zinc find, his way with the women, and how handsome he is. While she distracts him with her feminine wiles, she pulls a small derringer and shoots him in the head, taking all of his money.

As she is going through the dead man's pockets, one of her girls walks into the room. Madam Blood pitches a fit and fires the girl on the spot. She then yells downstairs for Samson, her huge mentally handicapped flunky. She orders him to dispose of the body in the abandoned Creedis mine with the others and to be sure to go out the back.

The fired callgirl is standing outside and watches everything that Samson does. After some inner reflection, she goes directly to the sheriff's office.

We cut to the inside of a mine. Hex, the sheriff, a few deputies, and a handcuffed Samson are looking at the decomposing bodies. The sheriff states that Blood has been doing this for years and it appears that over twenty men have fallen victim to her. They were able to locate the mine with Samson's aid. The sheriff hands over a wanted poster for Blood and Hex says that he'll take the job, but first they have to wrap up their other business, then he'll be heading back to Texas.

Pay Attention To Details - Texas, one month later. Hex rides into the Texas town pulling a wagon with two coffins. Parks comes out and demands to see inside. Hex demands his money. Hector opens the coffins and Parks said that the deal for the money was that Hex bring in the men responsible for this. Hex explains only one man is responsible for what Parks sees, Hex himself.

Parks is stunned and demands to know who Hex is. Hector, along with several men in the shade of a nearby building explain that he is Jonah Hex, a bounty hunter, cold-blooded Confederate, and Apache raised abomination.

Hex demands his money. Parks wants to know why he should pay the man that killed his nephews. Jonah states that the state of Kansas killed the nephews after a fair trial and it took a little bit of extra work (of which Parks will pay more for) to get the bodies out of Kansas. Parks pulls a pistol and Jonah grabs Parks windpipe.

Hector and the men by the building pull their weapons and tell Hex to let go. Jonah demands his money. Hector tells Parks to pay Hex and Parks shouts that he will pay THEM the three thousand to kill Hex. Hector states that money does the dead no good.

Parks gets the money and pays Hex and then Jonah rides off. Parks tells Hector that he wants revenge on Hex and Hector strikes a deal. If he gets cut in as a full partner in all of Parks dealings, then he is on the job.

Blood runs Cold - The Oklahoma, three weeks later. I'm assuming they mean the Oklahoma territory. Jonah rides into town, locates the nearest woman and says that he is looking for a woman. She says that SHE is a woman and Jonah shows her the wanted poster. The woman says that Blood came into town a week ago, set up in the Rio, and run off a couple of girls working there. Nobody would miss Blood if she was to be gone. Hex tosses her some money and tells her to take the night off.

As Jonah approaches the Rio, he is approached in turn by one of the workers. He shrugs her off and goes inside. He flashes the wanted poster and Blood sees him from the upper floor railing. She shouts for her goons to kill Hex and as the gunfight breaks out, everyone scatters and Jonah tosses a Molotov cocktail across the room, lighting up the place like the Fourth of July. 

With Bloods men shot or running away, Jonah walks through the burning building and heads up the stairs. He spies Blood attempting to escape across the porch roof and he shoots her in the leg, pitching her off the roof and into a horse trough. He holds her under water until she cools off.

Public Service Free of Charge - Hex and Blood are in a mine and Blood is tied up. Blood says that she has gold hid, a lot more than what Hex will get paid for bringing her in, and Hex is SUPPOSED to bring her in. Jonah replies that he got Texas money just this week.

Blood starts screaming that he can't leave her to starve. What did she ever do to him? Jonah replies:

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 4. Three of Blood's men and Blood herself
Running Total - 621 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 129 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers a few months and has to take place around 1890.
Rape Percentage - 37% (7 out of 19) 

This issue was pretty good. So good, in fact, that it was made into a DC Showcase cartoon that followed the Madam Blood storyline. 

The 1890 time is from the fact that Oklahoma became a territory in 1890. It was called Oklahoma prior to that, but it was mostly referred to as The Unassigned Lands. In 1879 it was illegal to reside within the borders of the Unassigned Lands and after a long battle, Land Runs were set up and folks started settling in 1889. So I'm sticking with 1890 or thereabouts.

I do enjoy Noto's work, but some of stuff seems so machine-like. The wallpaper in Parks office and the lettering on building signs has that 'nice' computer generated feel to it. Bleh. Also, some of the folks in the book all look the same, only distinguishable by facial hair. Heck, half the time I couldn't tell that Hector was Hector.

So I give the story higher marks than the artwork. Also, re-reading this issue, I noticed a joke that Jonah made prior to entering the brothel in Oklahoma. It's subtly and a little too tasteless for me to explain here. I'm  ashamed of a couple of things. First, that I understood it and second, that I didn't get it until rereading it six years later.

Next - Vultures, Wolves, and the return of......

Jonah Hex #17 V2 "The Ballad of Tallulah Black: Part 2"

Jonah Hex #17 V2 May '07

"The Ballad of Tallulah Black: Part 2"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover

Twice as Mean and Twice as Ugly - We open with a little target practice. A man stands with his arms outstretched, a bottle in each hand, a wanted poster (of him) pinned to his chest. Hex is using the man to train Tallulah how to shoot. Finally Hex instructs the man to place a bottle on his head and then straps a gun belt on him. Hex instructs the man that he can shoot Tallulah, but she HAS to shoot the bottle before she shoots him.

The man draws and the bottle topples from his head, Tallulah takes a bullet in the leg and shoots the bottle and the man with one shot. Hex has her strip off he pants and he sears the wound with a heated knife (since the bullet passed through).

Later the night, the dead man lying nearby, Tallulah and Jonah are sitting by the campfire and she starts questioning Jonah, Is he ever gonna hang up his guns, why not just become a sheriff, is there a woman and a farm in his life? Jonah puts an end to the questioning and goes to sleep. Tallulah sits there staring at Hex and slowly reaches out to him. Jonah tells her to go to sleep and she responds with venom at being rejected.

That night Tallulah has nightmares of being raped and disfigured and Jonah eventually has to slap her awake and then they find themselves in an a lovers embrace.

Been a Long Time Comin' - Next day, Hex is dragging the dead man behind his horse and Tallulah is riding alongside. She wears a bandanna over her face and then dismounts and goes into the saloon while Jonah collects his bounty. She walks up to the bar and inquires of seven men, former Rebs now working for the government. The barkeep keeps asking questions and finally Tallulah pulls down the bandana and announces that she is in the company of one Jonah Hex and she aims to have her vengeance. Just then the men in question come strolling down the stairs, full of liquor and accompanied by 'ladies' . 

Tallulah finishes her drink, turns and opens fires, killing three men and wounding a woman. She turns and heads into the street, luring the remaining four out into the open. She quickly dispatches one as Hex and the sheriff come out onto the boardwalk. The sheriff starts to intervene but Hex wards him off.

Tallulah takes one in the shoulder and Jonah shoots a man (who had snuck up behind Tallulah) in the back. She kills one more and finally it is just she and the ringleader. He shoots her in the leg and then they are both out of bullets. He starts to plead for his life and she starts to reload. He spies a pistol dear one of his dead partners and he lunges forward, grabs it and shoots Tallulah in the gut. He starts to crawl away toward another gun but she shoots him twice and he falls backwards. She stands over him and then falls down herself.

Hex picks her up and takes her to the doctor.

On the Spirit Trail - The doctor does what he can and then Hex pays him to go to the saloon and leave them be. Jonah goes inside and starts talking to Tallulah...

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 1
Running Total - 605 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 113 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue starts 3 months from last issue (this comes out during the campfire discussion) and covers a few days.
Rape Percentage - 41% (7 out of 17) 

This was one great issue and one of the high points was the relationship between Hex and Tallulah. The tension between Hex treating her like a human and like a pain in the ass teetered back and forth throughout the issue. The ending with the young girl being in the dream made one wonder if the girl was Death or just Tallulah's innocence. Of course, when we get to issue 70 even more questions are raised regarding the little girl.




Next Issue - Bear steaks, Mystery Meat and never get involved in a domestic dispute.

Jonah Hex #16 V2 "The Ballad of Tallulah Black"

Jonah Hex #16 V2 Apr '07
"The Ballad of Tallulah Black"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, art and cover

The Cruel Kindness of Children - A young girl is fishing and pulls in her catch. She calmly takes a rock and smashes in the fish's skull and then heads out. She comes upon Jonah Hex. Hex is leaning against a tree, watching a man that he has hung slowly strangle to death. The girls asks if Hex hung him and if he will cut him down. Jonah says that the man brought it on himself and that he promised Hex his boots. The girl states that it isn't very Christian of Hex and then she jumps up and grabs the man by the feet, hanging her full weight on him and thus snapping his neck. Hex replies with "They teach ya that in church?" and the girl heads on home.

The Ballad of Tallulah Black - Seven men stand in front of a log cabin, holding the entire family in their crosshairs. They state that homesteaders should have surrendered their land and they are here to take it. A woman comes out of the cabin and starts berating the gunmen as cowards and the ring-leader starts by shooting the family. The woman rushes at the men and they shoot her in the left eye, dropping her to the ground. The men burn the house and then ride off to tell the "Sergeant" that the land has been abandoned.

Time passes and the woman, Tallulah, opens her eye after being poked awake by the little girl that was fishing. The girl invites Tallulah home for supper, but Tallulah declines, saying she has bodies to bury. The girl leaves, warning that there is a bad man in the woods.

One year later - Several men walk into a bordello and they recognize Tallulah from their earlier encounter. She now has an eye patch and is doped up, sitting on a couch. Simon, the leader, indicates that he would like to have Tallulah for the night but the Madam suggests someone more lively. Simon insists and then takes Tallulah upstairs, throwing her on the bed. Tallulah can't tell if she understands her reality and when Simon assures her that he is real, she attacks him, scratching deep gouges in his face. He punches her and then drags her around the room by the hair before pulling a knife  and then everything goes black.

Tallulah wakes up to see the Madam and the doctor standing over her.

Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds - Three weeks later.  Tallulah stands in front of a mirror, her face a jigsaw of scars and the madam telling her of a man who is "a killer to the manner born" (I LOVE how Justin and Jimmy write dialogue!). She gives Tallulah some money and a pistol and the advice that this man, Jonah Hex might take pity on her since she is now as scarred as he.

Three more weeks later. Three men are hidings amongst some rocks hollering that they KNOW that Hex is out there. While they are weighing their options a stick of dynamite comes tumbling over the outcropping of rock and explodes below them, shearing off the ledge where they were perched. They fall backwards into the canyon, one getting his head crushed along the way. Hex walks up...

We next see Tallulah sitting under the remnants of a tree when three men atop two horses comes riding by. They are running from Hex and they stop and quickly rob Tallulah of her horse.

Out of the Frying Pan - Tallulah, now forced to walk across the desert, stumbles upon a ramshackle town and falls, literally, into the general store. The storekeeper bends down as if to take care of her....

Tallulah wakes up to finds herself tied, spread-eagle, on a bed and clothed in large dress. She hollers for release and the storekeeper walks in and says...

Just then a customer comes into the store and the storekeeper exits to tend to them. Meanwhile Tallulah attempts to gnaw away her bonds and then starts screaming for help. The storekeeper tells the patron that his wife is sick in the head, fighting her way against the evils of liquor. A pistol is placed against the storekeeper's head and the patron demands to see the "wife".

The storekeeper walks into the room, followed closely behind by Jonah Hex and his pistol. Hex cuts Tallulah loose, hands the knife to her and exits the room. A few minutes later, Tallulah emerges from the store, blood staining every inch of the dress. She determines that her savior is, in fact, Jonah Hex and offers him a few hundred dollars to kill the seven men that destroyed her family and her life.

Hex turns down her offer because the men aren't wanted and it ain't enough money for seven men. Tallulah states that she wants to learn how to kill them, not have Hex do it for her. Jonah ain't interested. She says that what they done to her is even worse under her clothes but...

To which Jonah responds "We're gonna have ta work on yore aim."

Statistics for This Issue
Men Killed By Jonah - 3
Running Total - 604 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 112 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - None
Timeline - This issue covers a year and six weeks
Rape Percentage - 43% (7 out of 16)

An incredibly cruel story with some odd undertones that won't become apparent until issues 50 and 70 regarding the identity of the little girl.

And what can we say about Tallulah? A beautiful strong woman who is brutalized in ways that would drive most people into madness and who eventually will almost steal the limelight away from Jonah Hex in his own book. She is probably one of the strongest supporting characters to have come into comics in the past 10 years and sadly, in the Jonah Hex movie, she was reduced to a groan inducing fanboy Easter Egg.

This is a great story, difficult to read at times because of the terror visited upon Tallulah, and it is definitely a turning point in the story of Hex.

Next Issue: If it is even possible, things turn uglier than they already are.

Jonah Hex V2 #10 "Gator Bait"

Jonah Hex V2 #10 Oct, 2006
"Gator Bait"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, cover and art

Gone Too Far South - Black Swamp, Louisiana. A wooden shack built over a swamp and we see a man, Flint, dumping a body into the water and gators feasting upon it. A large retarded man, Dewey, sits on the porch along with an old woman called "Ma", gleefully watching the carnage. Flint mentions that "the Negro" got away but "Dean stuck him good". As the three of them watch the gators eating the body tossed into the water, Flint asks about "the whore". "Ma" responds that the girl is lost to the sins of the flesh so they should just wipe her off and let the boys preoccupy themselves with her.

Last Request of a Dying Man - An injured African American rides into town and falls of his horse just as Jonah Hex exits a saloon. The man begs Hex for help,  saying that "they" have his wife, baby, and best friend and begs for retribution. Hex states that retribution comes at a price. The man says that they were on their way to Oklahoma and hands over a deed to Hex. Hex tells him they will pay in blood for what they done and the man dies with a Thank You on his lips.

Later that night Hex is in a poker game and ends up busted. Leaving the game, Hex is stopped by a question from another player, asking if there is anything of value that Hex could put up as a stake to return to the game. Jonah pulls the deed from his coat, reads it and then returns it and leaves. Hex is walking down the dark street and overhears the constable talking to the undertaker.

The constable voices concern as to why he should venture into the swamp based on the word of a dead Negro. The undertaker says that he only builds boxes, he has no thoughts concerning the Lamont family. Hex interrupts, asking if the box contains the man from that afternoon. They acknowledge that it does and that this is no business of Hex's. Jonah calls them cowards and idiots because they don't see the opportunity before them. All the constable has to do is place a bounty on the Lamonts and he will be a hero come election time, with no endangerment to himself. The constable sees the wisdom in the words.

The Jaws of Death - Hex is making his way through the trees of the swamp and comes upon a marker, an arrow made of rocks. He climbs a cypress and spies the cabin in the distance and we hear a voice behind him. It is a man with a shotgun, saying that Hex is pretty good at trackin' but since he ain't from the swamp, he can't move about silent, like swamp folk. The man introduces himself as Dean Lamont. He asks for Hex's name, but Jonah says they won't know each other long enough for that to matter. Dean forces Jonah to head onward to the cabin.

As they approach, the whole Lamont family is on the porch, Flint, Ma, Dewey, and four others. Flint asks Dean what he has there and Dean replies "Dinnah". They take Hex to the back porch, overlooking the swamp and the gators. Ma asks Hex if he thinks her pet gators are cute. Jonah says that he came across a colored fella and explains the story. Ma says they did stop by and she guesses that Hex is here per the man's request.

Jonah wants to know where the mother and child are. Flint grins and says the mother is inside. The half-breed Negro baby was a tasty snack for the gators. They force Jonah backwards toward the porch railing, Flint on one side, Ma on the other. Flint pulls his knife and suddenly Jonah throws himself backward, grabbing Ma and Flint, taking them both with him into the swamp water.

Dewey starts clapping and laughing, cheering the gators on. Hex pulls Ma and Flint deeper, throwing Ma into the path of one gator and then wresting the knife from Flint's hand. He stabs Flint in the chest and then wedges Flint's corpse into the mouth of a second gator. Hex dives under again and takes a gator head on, stabbing it repeatedly in the head and then surfacing across the swamp and dragging himself onto the shore.

Across the swamp, Hex can hear the screams of the family and the cheers and laughs of Dewey. Dean garbs his shotgun and screams at Dewey to shut up. Dewey grabs the barrel of the shotgun and says he don't feel so good. Dewey suddenly vomits all over himself and Dean, repulsed, inadvertently pulls the trigger, blowing Dewey's head clean (more or less) off.

Lessons From the Cheyenne - Later, Dean is leading the rest of  Lamont family in a toast of remembrance of Ma and Flint. Dean tells the others to open the crate. As Jonah creeps up outside he overhears Dean say that maybe the girl can soothe their troubled hearts in this time of despair. One of the family observes that the girl is no longer right in the head. Another of them says he can't stand her vacant stare..go get a sack to put over her head.

Suddenly the front door swings open and Jonah Hex, dripping wet, stands silhouetted in the doorway. Dean and the others are frozen and the door swings shut. From outside the cabin we hear the carnage and hell that Jonah Hex visits upon the Lamonts.

All we get to see is...

The house is now on fire and Jonah is leading the blindfolded victim out of the house. He says that she doesn't need to see what he visited upon them. He says he ain't much for conversation but she has probably crawled deep inside herself, so it don't matter nohow. They aren't 100% square for the death of the baby, but it's the best he could do.

As they stand there, watching the cabin burn, Hex hands the deed over to the woman and says that when she is ready to go, he'll be at the horse.

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 7 people and one gator. (Dewey was killed by Dean)
Running Total - 567 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 65 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Probably some scrapes from the gator fight.
Timeline - A day and night at the start, probably not too long to track down the Lamonts. Let's say two-three days, tops.
Rape Percentage - 40% (4 out of 10)

This was one sick sick story. The level of sickness, depravity, and evil exhibited by the Lamonts has to be some of the worst in comics (but don't worry folks, we have 60 more issues to get through and Jimmy and Justin push the envelope even further).  The punishment handed out by Hex was, by my estimation, no where near enough, but judgement of that level can only be meted out by God.

I can't say that I enjoyed this issue. The story was good, but it was just a little too twisted for me. I have to admit, the older I get, the less tolerant I am of sick evil deviant behavior in 'entertainment'. Also, I'm still trying to figure out the details regarding the land deed. It appears to be signed by Andrew Jackson (President 1829-1837) and it was stated that it was for land in Oklahoma (first opened for settlement in 1889). Deeds weren't handed out in the Land Runs, one staked a claim and then obtained the deed, so if our victim had a deed and was heading to Oklahoma, he would have had to obtained it from someone else so the earliest this story could have taken place would have been early summer of 1889.

But what did Jackson have to do with it? I can hear you say "NOTHING! It was artistic license on Noto's part." I know, but stuff like that drives me crazy!!

Next Issue - The Fallout from Issue #1 and we learn that this Hex is IN the DCU!

Jonah Hex V2 #3 "Eye for an Eye"

Jonah Hex V2 #3 March 2006
"Eye for an Eye"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story -  Luke Ross, art - Phil Noto, cover

Jonah Hex comes across several wagons of settlers that have been slaughtered by Indians and examines the arrows and the footprints.

Cut to a trading post. The owner is begging three men to let him and his sick wife live. The leader of the three men says that he can't allow them to tell a posse that it was them dressed as Indians that killed the wagon train. They herd the man, carrying his wife, outside just as Hex rides up. The leader tells Hex that the post is closed. They threaten Hex and he tells them that they need to save their bullets for the Apache

Jonah tells them that the Indians are about thirty minutes away and two of the gunmen start to panic. The store owner says that the Apache are coming for revenge, to kill these men who have been committing murder dressed as Apache. Jonah pulls his pistol and shoots the three men dead. Hex asks the post owner if he would testify that these men were murderers and the owner replies that he would. He then asks Hex what can they do about the Apache war party? Jonah calmly says that there ain't no Apache war party.

Later that night, during a downpour, Hex and the store owner roll into the town of Kent. The sheriff, who is getting a shave, is called out by a local to see Hex dragging the three corpses behind his horse. The sheriff looks at the dead ringleader and whispers "Nate". The sheriff then pulls a pistol on Hex but the store owner starts to tell the story of what happened. The sheriff arrests Hex but the owner says "You don't know these men" to which the sheriff reveals that the ringleader is his kid brother.

Later Hex is in the jail cell asking what became of the store owner. The sheriff explains that he reasoned with the man and his distance and silence would be insured. Hex then asks what is to become of him. The sheriff tells his goons to do their best.

Much later, the two goons are on a raft if the river with a large  box on it. They wonder out loud how much longer they and the sheriff can keep up the Indian masquerade. They slip the box into the water, commenting on how Hex wasn't that tough after all. One goon says that he would prefer to hang Hex, the other replies that maybe Hex will wash ashore and someone can have Hex stuffed.

The box, with Hex inside, floats down the river and starts slowly leaking. Jonah struggles with the ropes around his wrists but is helpless as the box floats on and hurls over a waterfall, smashing to bits on the rocks. Hex manages to barely swim to shore and passes out.

A man rides up with a lantern and asks Hex if he tumbles over waterfalls for his own amusement or is there a paying audience hidden in the darkness? The man cuts Hex free and asks his name. Jonah tells him and the man introduces himself as Bartholomew Aloysius Lash, gambler by trade, womanizer by design and outlaw by tragic error (the best introduction ever written...ever! Doubt me and I'll fight you and WIN!). Hex said that he's never heard of Bat Lash and Bat is very happy, considering Hex's trade. Hex asks what Lash's business is and Bat confides that he is heading into Kent. Seems that earlier in the day Bat came across a dying girl that had been raped by by white men posing as Indians looting wagon trains.

Jonah confides that he had a run-in with those men and they ended up dead, however, the brother is still alive and was backing the whole plan. Lash and Hex hatch a plan and head into town.

Later that night, Lash is in a poker game, women draped about him, and he is winning in every meaning of the word. One player accuses Lash of cheating and all hell breaks loose. 

The sheriff shows up and takes Lash and the brawler to jail only to find Jonah Hex sitting in the office, guns drawn. Lash locks up the deputies and the brawler but Hex won't allow the sheriff into the cell. Lash demands that justice be served according to the law but Hex states that this point is where he and Lash will part ways.

Hex escorts the sheriff outside as Bat looks on.

Morning finds Hex on horseback, leading another horse carrying a bound sheriff. They come upon a group of mounted Indians and Jonah has a few words with them. The Indians ride up and jerk the sheriff off his horse. The sheriff starts screaming for Hex to save him but Jonah says that he has no control over free men and that their money is just as good as anyone elses. The Indians scalp the sheriff alive and then finish him off.

Bat Lash rides up in time to see the payoff. He rides off with Jonah in one of the most classic endings in any western ever.

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - 3
Running Total - 508 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 6 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Boxed up and sent over a waterfall.

This is probably one of the most perfect westerns that I have ever read. Jonah is spot on, Lash is wonderfully light without being a lightweight and with this issue Gray and Palmiotti have hit their stride with this book. There are little touches that make this story great: the Indian seen in town that, we learn later, is known by Hex; Lash's sarcastic comments that his opponents don't understand; the evil kid brother who looks like Matt Dillon.

The only downside is this is the beginning of what Chris Sims points out as a over-reliance on rape as a motivator, even though it is only mentioned in passing by Bat Lash. Don't worry, we'll being hearing and seeing a lot more of that plot device in the upcoming years (Rape Count: 1 reference)

Next Issue: The man who won't stop talking, a woman who can't start talking, and the plot device that won't die.