Weird Western Tales #49 "The Belle"

 Weird Western Tales #49 Nov 1978 

"The Belle"

Gerry Conway, story - Dick Ayers & Luis Dominguez, art - Luis Dominguez, cover

End of April, 1862. Fifty miles North of New Orleans, Louisiana.

First off, WWT goes monthly with this issue! Next we find Scalphunter sitting in a roadhouse, minding his own business when some yahoos start talking about an Injun being uppity and needing to teach him some manners. Needless to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway, this doesn't play out as the yahoos expected. Sure, they dump Scalphunter's soup in his lap and douse him with water. Sure, they get in several HAW HAW HAWs. But then they get thrown across the room, a broken arm, a chair across the head and then thrown over a table. 

When the dust settles the owner of the roadhouse pulls a shotgun and tells Scalphunter to just hold still until the railroad guards get there. Aaaaand THAT doesn't end up as intended when Scalphunter snatches the shotgun out of his hands. An older man dining at a nearby tables stands up, and tells the roadhouse owner that HE will vouch for Scalphunter and there is no need to get the authorities involved.

The man introduces himself as Judge Jeremiah Halleck and his wife Charity. The Judge invites Scalphunter to discuss some business on the train along with partaking of some tea. On the train, in the Judge's private car, the Judge explains that they are fleeing the Union soldiers that have overtaken New Orleans. He has converted all of his cash holdings into jewelry and placed it all in a lockbox. Their plan was to take the train to Montgomery but they have learned that several prisoners that the judge sentenced have escaped in the confusion of the occupation of New Orleans. The judge says the prisoners know of his wealth and he expects them to try to overtake the train and exact their revenge upon he and his wife. Of course, the judge can't seek military assistance and offers Scalphunter the job of bodyguard.

Scalphunter asks why the judge doesn't think that he will just kill the judge and take the jewels. The judge states that Scalphunter is a man of honor and the both know it. Scalphunter agrees, but only as far as Montgomery for he has business in Atlanta. The judge signals the engineer to get started.

That night, northeast of New Orleans, several escaped prisoners break into a plantation house and overpower the owner in his bed, knocking him out and taking his shotgun. Dutch, the leader, has the men search for other guns, food and horses while he takes care of 'other business' whilst he leers at the wife sitting in her bed.

The next day, Scalphunter is standing on the back of the train, watching the track vanish in the distance as they cut their way across southern Alabama. Charity comes out on the platform and comments that he is the strongest man she has ever seen. She asks what his name is, his Christian name. Scalphunter states that his father named him Brian but his real name is Ke-Who-No-Tey. Charity says that Brian is a wonderful name and it makes her weak inside, like a little girl. She starts to swoon and Scalphunter boldly asks "What do you WANT, woman?"

Charity cuts the act and explains that she is terribly unhappy, the judge is a beast and she feels so hopeless she could kill herself. Scalphunter asks if the judge mistreats her and she acknowledges that. He asks why she hasn't left and she explains that the judge gave her parents money to buy their plantation in exchange for her marrying the judge. She says that Brian is her only hope.

Then the train is making its way around a blind curve and ends up running into an avalanche. As the train topples over, Scalphunter is able to leap from the back of the train, grabbing Charity and taking her with him. He breaks her fall with his own body and then runs back to the train. 

He finds the judge, crushed in the private car. The judge explains that the jewels are for Charity and gives Scalphunter the box and the key. Scalphunter swears the box won't fall into the wrong hands.

As Scalphunter emerges from the wreckage, Charity calls out that she couldn't warn him but the prisoners have descended upon the wreckage. Dutch manages to knock Scalphunter out using his rifle butt and as he passes out, Scalphunter sees Dutch grab Charity and the box and ride off.

Hours later Scalphunter comes to and starts tracking the riders.

Later that night, by the campfire, Dutch explains that Charity's information regarding the train was so bad, they almost didn't find the right train. They were able to escape with her help of the knives she smuggled in and now Dutch is going to give her the share of the reward, as he grabs her and starts forcing a kiss on her. Just then the horses take off running and the men run off into the darkness to retrieve them, leaving Dutch and Charity to hear their horrific screams in the darkness.

Scalphunter steps out of the black and demands Dutch release Charity. Dutch pulls his rifle and Scalphunter charges with his knife. The two tumble into the campfire, battling it out and in the end, Scalphunter and Charity walk away.

The next morning in Magnolia, Mississippi (more on that later), Scalphunter is explaining the entire story to the local sheriff. The Sheriff wants to know how the convicts knew the location of a private train. Scalphunter explains that Charity was working with the convicts. Charity denies it and says that Scalphunter betrayed her husband and killed the judge. The sheriff pulls his pistol and Scalphunter knocks him out and runs out the door, dropping the key to the lock box. Charity picks it up, grabs the lock box next to her and opens it up.... to find the jewels gone!

On the road to Atlanta, Scalphunter stops by a stream and tosses the jewels into the water, fulfilling his promise to the judge that the jewels will not fall into the wrong hands.

Statistics for this issue

Men Killed by Scalphunter - Four

Running Total - 95

Compared to Jonah Hex - 11th appearance and Scalphunter has 95 vs Jonah's 65

Scalps Taken - 0

Running Total - 14

Injuries - Knocked out

Timeline - Three days. First day to meet the judge, second day to travel, and the third day to get to the sheriff. So we are very close to the end of April.

This one was pretty good. The cover promises a lot and delivers on every bit of it, the train wreck, the jewels, the prisoners. I actually laughed when Scalphunter said "What do you WANT, woman?" seeing through her charade and not having any of it. The artwork was gritty and well done, showing the action very well. 

Now about geography, They start fifty miles north of New Orleans which would have put them just north of Lake Pontchatrain, probably near Hammond, Louisiana. The test tells us they are heading across southern Mississippi. This all makes sense as they would have to head east, cross Mississippi, then into Alabama to get to Montgomery. Now the detour to Magnolia, Mississippi, THAT's the problem. Magnolia is due north of Hammond, LA and it is barely within Mississippi (just 13 miles across the state line), not enough for them to have been traveling across 'Southern Mississippi'. I guess you could argue that the geography is correct, but it didn't strike me that they would be heading due north to get to Montgomery to the northeast. ANYway!!!

The issue was rounded out with another eight page Cinnamon backup feature. 

Next Issue: The 50th issue, Scalphunter makes it to Atlanta, finds his sister, gets fitted for a suit, and gets sentenced to HANG!!!

Jonah Hex V2 #10 "Gator Bait"

Jonah Hex V2 #10 Oct, 2006
"Gator Bait"
Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, story - Phil Noto, cover and art

Gone Too Far South - Black Swamp, Louisiana. A wooden shack built over a swamp and we see a man, Flint, dumping a body into the water and gators feasting upon it. A large retarded man, Dewey, sits on the porch along with an old woman called "Ma", gleefully watching the carnage. Flint mentions that "the Negro" got away but "Dean stuck him good". As the three of them watch the gators eating the body tossed into the water, Flint asks about "the whore". "Ma" responds that the girl is lost to the sins of the flesh so they should just wipe her off and let the boys preoccupy themselves with her.

Last Request of a Dying Man - An injured African American rides into town and falls of his horse just as Jonah Hex exits a saloon. The man begs Hex for help,  saying that "they" have his wife, baby, and best friend and begs for retribution. Hex states that retribution comes at a price. The man says that they were on their way to Oklahoma and hands over a deed to Hex. Hex tells him they will pay in blood for what they done and the man dies with a Thank You on his lips.

Later that night Hex is in a poker game and ends up busted. Leaving the game, Hex is stopped by a question from another player, asking if there is anything of value that Hex could put up as a stake to return to the game. Jonah pulls the deed from his coat, reads it and then returns it and leaves. Hex is walking down the dark street and overhears the constable talking to the undertaker.

The constable voices concern as to why he should venture into the swamp based on the word of a dead Negro. The undertaker says that he only builds boxes, he has no thoughts concerning the Lamont family. Hex interrupts, asking if the box contains the man from that afternoon. They acknowledge that it does and that this is no business of Hex's. Jonah calls them cowards and idiots because they don't see the opportunity before them. All the constable has to do is place a bounty on the Lamonts and he will be a hero come election time, with no endangerment to himself. The constable sees the wisdom in the words.

The Jaws of Death - Hex is making his way through the trees of the swamp and comes upon a marker, an arrow made of rocks. He climbs a cypress and spies the cabin in the distance and we hear a voice behind him. It is a man with a shotgun, saying that Hex is pretty good at trackin' but since he ain't from the swamp, he can't move about silent, like swamp folk. The man introduces himself as Dean Lamont. He asks for Hex's name, but Jonah says they won't know each other long enough for that to matter. Dean forces Jonah to head onward to the cabin.

As they approach, the whole Lamont family is on the porch, Flint, Ma, Dewey, and four others. Flint asks Dean what he has there and Dean replies "Dinnah". They take Hex to the back porch, overlooking the swamp and the gators. Ma asks Hex if he thinks her pet gators are cute. Jonah says that he came across a colored fella and explains the story. Ma says they did stop by and she guesses that Hex is here per the man's request.

Jonah wants to know where the mother and child are. Flint grins and says the mother is inside. The half-breed Negro baby was a tasty snack for the gators. They force Jonah backwards toward the porch railing, Flint on one side, Ma on the other. Flint pulls his knife and suddenly Jonah throws himself backward, grabbing Ma and Flint, taking them both with him into the swamp water.

Dewey starts clapping and laughing, cheering the gators on. Hex pulls Ma and Flint deeper, throwing Ma into the path of one gator and then wresting the knife from Flint's hand. He stabs Flint in the chest and then wedges Flint's corpse into the mouth of a second gator. Hex dives under again and takes a gator head on, stabbing it repeatedly in the head and then surfacing across the swamp and dragging himself onto the shore.

Across the swamp, Hex can hear the screams of the family and the cheers and laughs of Dewey. Dean garbs his shotgun and screams at Dewey to shut up. Dewey grabs the barrel of the shotgun and says he don't feel so good. Dewey suddenly vomits all over himself and Dean, repulsed, inadvertently pulls the trigger, blowing Dewey's head clean (more or less) off.

Lessons From the Cheyenne - Later, Dean is leading the rest of  Lamont family in a toast of remembrance of Ma and Flint. Dean tells the others to open the crate. As Jonah creeps up outside he overhears Dean say that maybe the girl can soothe their troubled hearts in this time of despair. One of the family observes that the girl is no longer right in the head. Another of them says he can't stand her vacant stare..go get a sack to put over her head.

Suddenly the front door swings open and Jonah Hex, dripping wet, stands silhouetted in the doorway. Dean and the others are frozen and the door swings shut. From outside the cabin we hear the carnage and hell that Jonah Hex visits upon the Lamonts.

All we get to see is...

The house is now on fire and Jonah is leading the blindfolded victim out of the house. He says that she doesn't need to see what he visited upon them. He says he ain't much for conversation but she has probably crawled deep inside herself, so it don't matter nohow. They aren't 100% square for the death of the baby, but it's the best he could do.

As they stand there, watching the cabin burn, Hex hands the deed over to the woman and says that when she is ready to go, he'll be at the horse.

Statistics for This Issue

Men killed by Jonah - 7 people and one gator. (Dewey was killed by Dean)
Running Total - 567 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 65 V2)
Jonah's Injuries - Probably some scrapes from the gator fight.
Timeline - A day and night at the start, probably not too long to track down the Lamonts. Let's say two-three days, tops.
Rape Percentage - 40% (4 out of 10)

This was one sick sick story. The level of sickness, depravity, and evil exhibited by the Lamonts has to be some of the worst in comics (but don't worry folks, we have 60 more issues to get through and Jimmy and Justin push the envelope even further).  The punishment handed out by Hex was, by my estimation, no where near enough, but judgement of that level can only be meted out by God.

I can't say that I enjoyed this issue. The story was good, but it was just a little too twisted for me. I have to admit, the older I get, the less tolerant I am of sick evil deviant behavior in 'entertainment'. Also, I'm still trying to figure out the details regarding the land deed. It appears to be signed by Andrew Jackson (President 1829-1837) and it was stated that it was for land in Oklahoma (first opened for settlement in 1889). Deeds weren't handed out in the Land Runs, one staked a claim and then obtained the deed, so if our victim had a deed and was heading to Oklahoma, he would have had to obtained it from someone else so the earliest this story could have taken place would have been early summer of 1889.

But what did Jackson have to do with it? I can hear you say "NOTHING! It was artistic license on Noto's part." I know, but stuff like that drives me crazy!!

Next Issue - The Fallout from Issue #1 and we learn that this Hex is IN the DCU!

Jonah Hex #12 "The Search for Gator Hawes!"

Jonah Hex #12 May 1978
"The Search for Gator Hawes!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Vincente Alcazar, art - Jim Starlin, cover

Jonah is in a dugout canoe paddling through a Louisiana bayou looking for his pal Gator Hawes, who went missing 2 months ago. Jonah is thinking about the dangers of being in a dugout and the only problem is being swamped by a gator. Of course, a mind-reading alligator picks that time to slam into Jonah's canoe, knocking him into the bayou. The gator and his buddies, obviously working at the direction of minds stronger than theirs, proceed to tear off Jonah's shirt, but not before Jonah buries a knife into one gator & drives the other off.

Jonah surfaces, gasping for breath and is helped to shore by an old man and his huge hunk of a son. The pair, Josh & 'Pappy', take Jonah to their cabin where they meet the third member of the family, Isabella. Josh explains that Isabella is the homeliest woman in the world and tells her to explain why she doesn't get married. Isabella, looking at the ground, mumbles that it is because nobody wants her. Josh keeps goading her and Isabella says that she is ugly as a mud fence.

Jonah protests at this verbal abuse and Josh punches Jonah in the stomach and then in the head, knocking him out. Josh takes Jonah and tosses him into a cage along Gator Hawes. Gator is begging for food but Josh tells Gator that Gator has to beat Josh at pole-wrasslin' before he gets to eat. Jonah wakes up and Gator explains that he was kidnapped two months ago and the only way he has stayed alive was by eating rats & toads. Jonah says that they have to find a way out but Gator, pointing a couple of skeletons, explains that the only way out is the way those poor fools got out.

The next day Jonah is let out and taken to a fallen tree across the river. Josh is going to pole-wrassle Jonah. If Jonah wins, he gets food. Pappy is sitting in a dugout with a shotgun in case something goes wrong. Josh just keeps yapping as they start fighting and Jonah stabs Josh in the groin with the end of the pole. He then hits Josh in the throat, knocking him off the tree. Jonah jumps off the tree and starts to take off but Pappy unloads the shotgun and hits Jonah in the head, knocking him out.

Jonah comes to back at the cabin with Isabella tending to his wound. Josh tells her to get away from Jonah and he backhands her, knocking her down. Josh throws Jonah back in the cage and leaves. Sometime later Isabella comes back to the cage and Jonah tells her that she isn't ugly, in fact she is beautiful.

The next day Josh & Pappy let Gator & Jonah both out. They are going to make them pole fight each other and the loser will be fed to the gators. Jonah & Gator are on the tree with Gator being almost too weak to hold the pole. Josh & Pappy are in the dugout, jeering them on. Jonah whispers to Gator to hit him as hard as he can. Gator swings and Jonah falls off the log and into the river. He surfaces under the dugout and knocks Pappy & Josh into the river. Jonah jumps into the dugout, paddles towards the log & tells Gator to jump in.

Gator jumps, falling & hitting his head and this leaves Jonah on his own to try to get out of the bayou on his own. Eventually they come to a fork in the river and Jonah picks the left side but shortly the current is getting faster & faster because.... you guessed it, there is a 50 foot waterfall smack in the middle of the bayou. Jonah yells at Gator to wake up and he grabs Gator and jumps for an overhanging tree. Jonah tells Gator to hang on, but Gator is too weak from lack of food and drops into the river, being swept over the falls.

Jonah climbs down the tree and is greeted by Pappy & Josh standing over him with the shotgun. Josh beats Jonah up and they throw him back into the cage. They starve Jonah for several days until one stormy night Isabella shows up asking Jonah if he really meant that she was beautiful. She asks if she lets Jonah out, will he marry her. Jonah agrees to the wedding and just as Isabella opens the cage, Pappy shows up and shoots Isabella. Jonah throws open the cage door, knocking Pappy backwards and knocking him out.

Jonah grabs the shotgun and find that Pappy isn't carrying any shells. In the cabin, Josh is tending his collection of poisonous snakes. Jonah kicks in the cabin door, boots Josh in the groin and punches him in the gut. Pappy shots for Jonah to stop and there is Pappy standing in the doorway with the shotgun, explaining that he grabbed some spare shells from the dugout. Jonah dives forward, tackling Pappy around the ankles. The shotgun goes off as Pappy falls forward. All of the jars of poisonous snakes are shattered and they attack Josh.

Jonah dives out the cabin window to find that the storm has caused the river to flood. He climbs up on the roof and finds that Pappy has followed him. The waters keep rising and just as Pappy is ready to shoot Jonah the river causes the cabin to lurch and the weather vane on the roof stabs Pappy through the heart. Jonah spends all night on the roof in the storm. The next morning he locates the dugout and heads home.

Statistics for this issue
Men killed by Jonah - Josh

Running Total - 156
Jonah's Injuries - Bit by a gator, shot in the head, beat up & knocked out twice.
Timeline - There is no evidence that this issue follows the previous one, but next issue contains a reference to this one, so Jonah is still on the run here putting this in 1876 or 1877.

Alcazar's artwork is terribly dark and muddy, which should work in a story about a swamp, but I just don't care for it. The fact that a bayou, a low lying body of water would have a 50 foot waterfall just killed most of this story for me. Josh & Pappy are both wonderfully murderous and evil and they both get what they deserve. The story doesn't really advance Jonah at all, so this story is just so-so.

Next Issue: - Jonah spends time in Oklahoma Territory, a lot of stuff gets blown up, and most amazing, Fleisher doesn't write it!!!