Jonah Hex V2 #25 "My Name is Nobody"

Jonah Hex V2 #25 Jan. '08

"My Name is Nobody"
Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray - story, Russ Heath - art, Garres - cover

Mexico, 1899

We are treated to excerpts from An Oral History on the Old West, co-written by Woodson Hex, private detective in the 1930's and 40's. During the recap of Jonah's life we see the aged bounty hunter setting up camp overlooking a desert valley. Off in the distance, dust clouds rise, driven skyward by several men on horses being chased by other mounted riders. Jonah figures it's bandits running from the local law so he takes cover so that he has a chance against the fifteen desperadoes. 

  As the bandits get closer, Jonah picks off one and the rest scatter. The bandits regroup, trying to decide how best to flank the unknown gunman up the rocks. Meanwhile, Jonah bides his time, hoping he can hold them off long enough for the rurales to show up. Jonah unloads his pack mule and lets it wander off into the mountains. He pulls out a photo of Mei Ling and a young boy, about the age of ten. 

  Jonah takes up a vantage point with his rifle. Soon enough, one fo the bandits tries to make a move and Jonah kills him. Drawing a bead with his rifle, he spots the backside of another bandit and Jonah manages to shoot the pistol in the man's holder. The bandit jumps from cover and.... thirteen left.

  The bandit leader shouts to Jonah to stop shooting his men. Jonah replies that it might be safer for them to turn themselves in. The Bandit asks Jonah's name to which Jonah replies with rifle fire. Five bandits suddenly rush Jonah and ..... nine left. That's when Jonah notices that they shot and killed his horse.

  The bandit leader tells Hex that they need his location to ambush the rurales. He asks Jonah's name again, announcing that HE is Jesus Escobar Ramirez. Jonah replies that he is Jonah Hex. The bandit's stare at each other and then decide Hex is lying. Everyone knows that Jonah Hex is dead. 

  They rush him once more, managing to hit him in the left shoulder but Jonah takes down three more of them....six left. Another quick attack and Jonah takes out two more, the rest coming at him with knives. Jonah smashes one in the head with a pistol and starts punching the crap out of him to boot. The others come up, about to shoot Jonah in the back of the head when a hail of bullets cut them down. Jonah kicks his combatant over the edge of a cliff.

  The rurales have arrived in time. A man leading them doesn't appear to be Mexican. The man says that Hex looks familiar, maybe they know each other? Jonah says that the man doesn't know him.

  Later that evening in a cantina the man offers to buy Hex a drink, asking his name. Jonah replies with  "Mister Albano".  Jonah says that he would like to drink alone. The man introduces himself as Jason Hex. He's a tracker, helping the locals. Jason says that the Mexicans ain't against folks of mixed blood as much as the folks up north. He is half Celestial on his mother's side and his father was a bounty hunter... and that's when Jonah attacks him. 

  They get into a knock-down drag out fight which ends with Hex on the floor and Jason holding a iron on him. Jason says he has no intention of killing Jonah, he only wants to talk. Jonah says they have nothing to talk about. Jason asks if Jonah wants to know about Mei Ling. Hex states he ain't the one that left and folks have a right to do as they like. Jason states that Mei Ling is dead and that not everyone dies from a bullet. Jason still wants to talk but Jonah has none of it.

  He says that what you see is what you get and that's the reason Mei Ling took Jason away. She didn't want Jason to know him and that's that. Jonah exits the cantina and meets a Mexican woman in the street, holding a baby. She tells Jonah, who is still drinking from a bottle, that the stuff will kill him. Jonah replies that he hopes it does.

  Jonah mounts up as the woman approaches Jason as he, too, exits the cantina. She asks who that ugly old man was. Jason takes the child from her arms and answers "That was nobody".

Statistics for This Issue

Men Killed by Jonah - Eleven. The Banditos didn't fare well against Elder Hex.
Running Total - 664 (432 past, 55 future, 15 Vertigo, 172 V2)
Jonah's Injuries -Shot in the left shoulder.
Timeline - At most, one day and a night.

Rape Percentage -  32% (8 out of 25).

One the greater Hex tales because of so many things. Russ Heath is back and illustrating another tale of 'old' Hex, we meet Jason as an adult trying to reconcile a meeting with his absent father, Jason's quick appearance of Jason's wife and his son, a quick nod to Mr. Albano, the black borders, and a slight reference to Johnny Cash (Boy Named Sue lyric "and ya got the right" vs. Jonah's "Ya earned the right.").

We see so many people encounter Hex and die a quick death, friends that pass through and are forgotten. Any time we are treated to something that builds upon the Hex family tree or revisits a known character, I feel that we are getting a deeper glimpse into the agony, tragedy, and the tortured mind of our favorite bounty hunter. 

Next Issue: A heavy Tarantino influence and ya never wanna watch the sausage getting made.

Jonah Hex #76 "Caged!"

Jonah Hex #76 Sept 1983
"Caged!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony Dezuniga, art - Jim Aparo & Rodin Rodriguez, cover

Slowly, Jonah stalks a large buck through the woods, his mind not really on the task at hand, but rather on his current relationship with Emmy Lou Hartley. He mulls to himself that he really needs to tell her, and soon. What he needs to tell her is that he is not in love with her. When he tells her he loves her, he feels like a liar and when he doesn't tell her, he feels like a skunk. Sadly when they are alone, Jonah finds himself imagining he is back with Mei Ling and that isn't fair to Emmy. Jonah finishes up his mental ruminations with a killing shot to the buck.

Later Jonah totes the buck into camp where he and Emmy are staying and she runs up to greet him. Emmy pulls out a knife and starts dressing the deer but Jonah notices a muzzle flash up in the hills and Jonah barely knocks Emmy to the ground in time to avoid being shot. Jonah tells her to keep her head low and he starts heading through the woods to get the drop on whoever is shooting at them.

Jonah works his way up the back of the hill, lamenting the fact that he didn't have any dynamite handy since dynamite always makes things easier. As it is, he sneaks up on the men and dispatches them one by one. Checking them out more closely, he realizes that he doesn't recognize them, assuming they are bandits wanting to rob he & Emmy for their gear and horses.

Ten days later, in an all too familiar mansion outside Richmond, Virginia, the eternally sour Quentin Turnbull is trying to track down his manservant Solomon. Solomon is out by the woodshed, cutting kindling for the stove. Turnbull says that he isn't hungry and hasn't been ever since...

Solomon finshes the thought, ever since word came that Jonah Hex killed the three men that Turnbull sent to kill him. Turnbull starts lamenting that there is no justice for him in this world but then notices that Solomon has a possum in a cage. Turnbull asks what Solomon is doing with the creature.

Seems like a hot pot of water and several vegetables are soon to be the future home of the possum but Turnbull demands that the creature be released. It's one thing to shoot and kill an animal because death is usually instantaneous but to subject a creature to the prolonged cruelty of prolonged.......

EUREKA!!!! Turnbull has a huge flash of brilliance!



Later that same night (almost 1000 miles away according to the caption, thus putting them in eastern Texas or western Arkansas), Jonah and Emmy ride into a small town and Emmy is lamenting their lifestyle of camping and bad hotels. Jonah says that he is in no mood for a talk about settling down. He has Emmy get a room while he gets the horses into the livery. At the livery, an old man asks if he is Jonah Hex. When Jonah confirms it, he is quickly struck from behind by a pistol and is knocked out.

Later Jonah awakens near a campfire to be greeted by a man in a suit and hat. The man apologizes for having to abduct Hex, but he couldn't have it known that Hex was having a secret meeting with the Governor of the state (which state is never mentioned, but is probably Texas or Arkansas). Gov Phelps explains that he wants Jonah to be sentenced to a long term stay in the state penitentiary. It doesn't matter what crime is committed, but Jonah will be Phelps' eyes & ears in the prison. After a month, Hex will be freed and paid for his time.

Phelps explains that the warden & guards are corrupt but he cannot gather any evidence against them, so that will be Jonah's job. It would not arouse a whole lot of suspicion if Hex were to turn outlaw. Jonah points out one flaw in Phelps' plan. Namely, if anything happens to Phelps, Hex is in prison for the length of his sentence. Hex demands a handwritten letter from Phelps explaining the whole scheme as well as Hex's innocence. Phelps isn't too happy with this request but relents and provides the document.

An hour later we find Jonah Hex, saddlebags over his shoulder, storming down the stairway at the hotel, Emmy Lou trying to keep pace. She keeps asking where is he going, who is he meeting, why does he have to go, but Jonah merely brushes her off, saying that he can't explain and that Emmy will probably be a whole lot better off without Jonah Hex in her life. Emmy loses it, shouting that she probably WILL be better off if she finds a man who cares for her instead of just being a stand-in for a wife that walked out. Hex replies that it ain't true but Emmy says that it is and then Jonah rides off.

Two weeks later a Western Pacific locomotive pulls up to a water tank to take on more water. However, when the fireman pulls down the water chute he finds that Jonah Hex is right there, politely asking for the payroll money that's in the mailcar. The fireman complies and then Jonah rides off with the loot. In the days that follow, Jonah robs a stage and the Western Pacific Railway Express office and there is quickly a $5,000 bounty on his head. Late one night Jonah hunkers down in his camp and is suddenly apprehended and taken to jail.

Two weeks later he is declared guilty of four counts of armed robbery and gets twenty-five years in the state pen.

That evening, Mei Ling is feeding Jason supper when her brother, Mei Wong, comes in waving a newspaper around. The headline proclaims that Jonah Hex is guilty and Wong gives forth with a wonderful "I told you so" speech, telling his sister to fall to her knees and pray that the evil blood in Jonah's veins don't also run through those of her son. Ling demands that Wong leave.

Also that evening we find Emmy Lou reading a similar paper, but she refuses to believe it and she is not about to sit back and let the man she loves rot in prison!

The next morning, Jonah is delivered to the prison where he is issued his stripes (#26150) and encounters the head guard, Bull Kozrak. Kozrak, being a concise kinda fella, explains to Jonah just exactly how the pecking order works in the prison by punching Jonah square in the chops.

Later at dinner, Jonah is talking to another prisoner about the low quality fare being served. The other con, explains that the warden and the guards skim money off of the budget, buy garbage with the remainder and go home happy.

The next afternoon, Jonah and his new buddy are breaking up rocks when the buddy collapses from the heat. Jonah goes to his aid, but Kozrak tells Hex to step away. Kozrak pulls out a whip to help persuade Jonah, but Jonah grabs the end of the whip and lands a hearty left onto Kozrak's jaw. Just as the second blow lands, a chain is thrown around Jonah's neck and while three other guards hold Jonah, Kozrak beats the wholly living hell outta Jonah Hex.



Later a couple of guards drag Jonah down a long cold hallway and throw his bloody broken body into the light-less hole of solitary confinement.



Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - three
Running Total - 397
Jonah's injuries - knocked on the head with a pistol and beaten to a pulp
Timeline - This issue covers about 47 days from start to finish. One point references 'several days' so I went with seven. There are a few problems with pinpointing the year for this in the timeline:
1) The Western Pacific Railroad started operation in 1903.
2) I'm still struggling with getting the timeline correct as to when Emmy Lou fits in. With Emmy appearing at the end of the Cassie Wainwright revenge saga (which was supposed to take place in 1874) as well as after Jonah's wedding (probably in 1875 and PRIOR to the Cassie saga), I'm just really beside myself plugging dates onto things. UPDATE: After revisiting the marriage timeline and deciding that the Cassie saga DOES take place after Mei Ling leaves, I will place this in the regular continuity and place this one probably Feb of 1878.

Let's say that at a minimum of a week passed since the last issue in the continuity (#72), we now stand at almost two months from the end of that issue.

Storywise, this is where Fleisher really gets the ball rolling, throwing in almost every character in the Hex universe and the continuity is pretty much intact from here to the end of the run in issue 92. The pacing on the stories is good and the drama of the relationships between Hex/Emmy & Hex/Mei Ling keeps building.

My only gripe was this. Obviously Phelps is working for Turnbull. So, rather than concoct this elaborate ruse to jail Jonah, why didn't they take the unconscious Jonah and rather than take him to Phelps, just toss him into a the prison with the corrupt warden and guards? He would never have gotten out. With a corrupt system owned by Turnbull, no trial was needed.

Next Issue: RATS!!! Both the four-legged and two-legged variety.

Jonah Hex #51 "The Comforter"

Jonah Hex #51 August 1981
"The Comforter!"
Michael Fleisher, story - Dick Ayers & Tony DeZuniga, art - Tony DeZuniga, cover

Jonah is wanting to head into town but Mei Ling is reminding him that the baby is due at any time and she is wanting him to stay home. Jonah is having the same problem I have, being alone when I'm trying to buy a surprise for my wife. Take this for example. My wife saw a ring she wanted at the store and hinted that she wanted it. While she was wandering around the mall I managed to sneak back into the store and buy the ring. I had the clerk hold it for me because I KNEW that my wife would want to swing back by, look at the ring and hint once again that she would like it. If the ring was gone, then she would demand that I empty my pockets to prove that I didn't have it. I also told the clerk to lie about me coming back in.

Sure enough, my wife wanted to look at the ring again and when it was gone she started asking if they could get another one in. The clerk waiting on us was different than the one I dealt with and she kept looking at me really weird. She finally said "A gentleman purchased the ring earlier and had it placed on hold. Let me look at the number and see if we can order another one." She brings the ring out and it HAS MY NAME ON IT! My Lovely Wife is looking at something else and I'm trying to shoo the clerk away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the original clerk snatches it out of her hands and elbows her aside. Lovely Wife turns around and the clerk who helped me says, "I'm terribly sorry, but the gentleman who put the ring on hold had us deliver it not 5 minutes ago and the paperwork won't be back with the courier for about another 2 hours so there is no way for us to determine if we can order another one of those rings."

Lovely Wife glared at me as if something was up, looked at the clerk and totally bought that lying man's story.

Wait, this is supposed to be about Jonah. Okay, I'm back on track. Jonah is trying to get into town to purchase a comforter for Ling and the baby and he finally gets his way. Meanwhile in town, a horrible hardcase shows up and starts terrorizing the local bar, saying that he's waiting for Hex in order to kill the scar-faced former bounty hunter. A bunch of kids gather at the door of the saloon to see the ruckus and one young fella, Petey, starts laughing at the idea of Hex being outgunned by this slimeball. Needless to say, said slimeball don't cotton to being ridiculed.

Jonah arrives in town and picks up the comforter at the general store and the sheriff walks in, warning him about the dirtbag at the saloon. Jonah says that he is heading home and won't have any of it. When he steps out of the store, the weasel is standing there, calling Jonah out. Hex tells him that he isn't carrying and the trashbag tosses Jonah one of his own. Hex pitches the gun to the ground and walks away, the weaselly-slimeball-dirtbag calling him a coward and the townspeople aghast that Jonah has turned tail.

Jonah spend the next hour at a cafe, not eating the meal he ordered and having a flashback.

April, 1848. Woodson Hex takes his son to the fair. Woodson, being the drunken bastard that he is, wants Jonah to enter a boy-fighting contest. 25 cent entry, $10 prize for going three rounds. Jonah says that he just turned 10 and the other kid looks a lot older. Woodson asks if he has raised a coward and Jonah gets into the ring.

At the sound of the bell, Jonah lunges for the other kid but gets the living snot beat out of himself in the first round. Woodson goads Jonah back out for the second round, even though Jonah is begging for it to stop. At the start of the second round, Jonah gets a quick one to the side of the head, an uppercut and then a ten count as he lays there, bloody, dazed and battered. Woodson drags Jonah from the ring and starts slapping him and calling him a coward. A worthless coward.

.....
Hex looks at the clock in the cafe and realizes he better be getting on home. Petey meets him in the street and asks if it's true that Jonah is a coward. Petey is beaten up and just then the weasel shows up. Jonah asks Petey if this is the guy that gave him the black eye. Petey says that it is and Jonah swiftly drops the weasel with three hard punches.

Hex turns and starts walking away but the weasel draws and shoots Jonah as he is picking up the dropped comforter. Jonah goes down and Petey sprints for Jonah's horse. With the weasel standing over Hex, ready to finish the job, Hex throws the comforter into his face and Petey tosses Hex his rifle. When the weasel pulls the comforter down, he's staring down the barrel. And, of course, it's the last thing he ever saw.

Jonah gathers up his stuff and rides back home. The doc and his wife are there and Jason Woodson Hex is snuggled in bed with his mom. Jonah apologizes for not being there and Mei Ling says that it doesn't matter. Jonah gives her the comforter and she wraps Jason in it. Jonah picks up his boy and asks if he has anything to say to his paw. Jason replies...

Statistics for this Issue
Men killed by Jonah - one.
Running Total - 329
Jonah's Injuries - Shot in left shoulder
Timeline - A few months since last issue. The snow is gone and everything around the farm is green. So it must now be 1876. Right? I'm sticking with that. Now, the flashback was in 1848 and Jonah had just turned 10. With his birthday in November, that means that he turned 10 in 1847 so he must have been born in 1837, not in 1838. So THAT means that last issue, when Jonah turned 37, it was 1874, not 75, so this story does take place in 1875.

I've read that when folks are trying to determine things like timeline and what not, they use a date that was stated most of the time and work other dates around that, determining that references to incorrect dates were just mistakes. Jonah's dates have always been 1838 - 1904, but almost all of his childhood flashbacks are when he 'just turned 10' and it's in the spring. Do we go with the bulk of flashback references or the given birth year? Or do we do what my wife suggests "It's a comic book. Let it go. Or get off your butt and find the guy that wrote these and see what HE says."?

Anyway, a nice story with a flashback to abusive Woodson. It kinda explains why Jonah was such a sadistic bastard towards Blackie and Mange and why he let the dogs eat the circus owner in Jonah Hex #1 Vol 2. My only complaint is that Pappy Hex looks different every time we see him. And we have seen him a lot. It's also a short story because of a Bat Lash backup feature.

Next Issue: kidnapping, sucker-punching, wife-slapping and it all ends with Jonah getting blown all to hell.