THE SISSI COLLECTION -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 11/6/17

 

There are some movies that you can either pass over for lack of initial interest, or find a way to plug into.  I plugged into THE SISSI COLLECTION and was shocked--so to speak--to discover how much I quickly came to enjoy this sparkling Technicolor trilogy of Austrian films (plus two bonus films and various extras) now available in a deluxe Blu-ray set from Film Movement, newly restored in 2K.

Seventeen-year-old Romy Schneider is a delight as the sweet, utterly unpretentious Sissi (short for "Elizabeth"), a wild child who only reluctantly plays the royalty game when protocol, and her socially-conscious mother, demand.  Otherwise, this countrified Bavarian princess would rather be fishing, riding horses, or hunting (although she never shoots but only likes to look at the animals) with her father, whose similarly rough and "improper" ways she has thoroughly inherited. 

In SISSI (1955), the first of the three films, Sissi and her mother, Duchess Ludovika (Romy's real-life mother Magda), along with her older sister Nene, travel to Vienna to meet the young Emperor, Franz Joseph (Karlheinz Böhm, PEEPING TOM), whose marriage to Nene has been prearranged. (We know early on that Franz is both a nice guy and a decent ruler when he refuses to sign the execution order for eight political prisoners until he's satisfied they're deserving of such a fate.)

It's a love story that harkens back to Cinderella, with the wicked stepmother replaced here by a not-so-bad mom hung up on royal protocol and one older sister, also not wicked, who gets first crack at the handsome prince (or in this case, emperor). 

He, of course, first meets Sissi after she furtively escapes the palace for some fishing, and falls madly in love with the wild girl, thinking her a lovely commoner. Naturally, there's a festive ball that evening to announce his engagement to Nene, where he discovers Sissi's real identity and proposes to her instead.  Comfortingly familiar complications ensue in which our only concern, really, is how well-meaning sister Nene is going to take such a potentially devastating humiliation. 

But greater trouble looms on the horizon in the form of Franz Joseph's stern, unyielding mother, Archduchess Sophie (Vilma Degischer), who will stop at nothing to sabotage her son's marriage to a girl she deems utterly unworthy.  Meanwhile, the fiercely independent Sissi, to her husband's great delight, proves not only a wonderful wife but also a wise and compassionate leader who unites their subjects while charming even his most obstinate political opponents.

One might describe SISSI with the old Hollywood term "woman's picture"--which, let's face it, it is--but it's definitely something anyone in the mood for light, sumptuous, and visually dazzling entertainment can sit back and enjoy.  The vast, incredibly lavish indoor sets are dripping with whatever constitutes "royalty", while the outdoor scenery of Austria and other locations are some of God's most deliriously colorful handiwork.

The wedding of Sissi and Franz Joseph, and all the attendant ceremony, are almost brain-fryingly opulent.  I've never seen anything like it--just as one scenario appears as dazzling as it can get, it's topped by the next jaw-dropping spectacle.

The humor is of the mildly amusing and gently satirical variety, a welcome change of pace from overt slapstick and farce.  The initial mistaken-identity factor is well-played as Sissi charms Franz Josef with her sincere qualities before he discovers her regal origins.  The romantic and political entanglements are similarly handled with just the right amounts of light humor, heartfelt sentiment, suspense, and clever storytelling.

Ernst Marischka's surehanded direction (he wrote and directed all three films in the trilogy), along with impeccable production values, superb costumes, and a swirling symphonic musical score, blend to give the film an almost lighter-than-air quality, like an expertly prepared cinematic confection.  Watching it is like digging into an entire Bavarian cream pie with a big spoon right out of the plate.
 
SISSI has a relaxing, almost soothing quality because it just wants to amuse and delight us instead of dragging us through raucous farce or hand-wringing melodrama.  It has a pleasing mix of reality and fairytale magic that, to my surprise, I found guilelessly appealing and effortlessly watchable.

SISSI: THE YOUNG EMPRESS (1956) picks up right where the first one left off (the three films play like a mini-series and should be seen as such) with the young couple still madly in love while coping with crucial international affairs.  Chief among these are the strained relations between Austria and Hungary, the latter personified by angry young rebel Count Andrassy (Walther Reyer), whom Sissi will eventually charm with her love of his country and genuine concern for its people.

Meanwhile, Franz Joseph's mother, Archduchess Sophie, continues to refer to Sissi as "a little Bavarian princess who became Empress by chance." When the couple are blessed with a daughter, Sophie drives a wedge between them by insisting on raising the girl herself, apart from the mother, an arrangement that drives Sissi to leave her husband when he sides with his mother on the issue.

This second installment forces Sissi to contend with more sinister and oppressive conflicts than before, elevating the series as a whole to to an entirely different dramatic plane.

Still, it also has even more mindblowing pomp and circumstance for us to wallow in than the previous one--it's almost like royalty porn. One particularly opulent ball reminds us how much more fundamentally impressive reality is over CGI, as this series, without a single pixel of digital FX, often outdoes the most heavily computer-generated spectacles of today.  (At some points I felt as though the deluge of undiluted cinematic grandeur would cause me to faint dead away.)

The ballroom scene is also particularly noteworthy for featuring the most politically volatile situation thus far--one which, to the Archduchess' chagrin, is beautifully and most satisfyingly resolved by Sissi's quick thinking.

Here and in subsequent scenes, all the magnificent visuals are in service to an uplifting, engaging story in which the Sissi character is more endearing than ever.  She ends up an even more grandiose figure than before, not out of a lust for power but because her sweet and caring nature cause an entire country to fall in love with her.

An even more dazzling explosion of color and richly-appointed finery than its predecessor, SISSI: THE YOUNG EMPRESS is as charming and utterly captivating as its radiant young star, Romy Schneider.  It's a bit like taking that rich Bavarian cream pie, shoving it right in your face, and loving every gooey moment of it.

SISSI: THE FATEFUL YEARS OF THE EMPRESS (1957) has all the qualities of the first two films, but by this time the series reaches new maturity along with its main character.  Having conquered Count Andrassy and the people of Hungary, Sissi sets her winning ways to new purposes even as her vile mother-in-law, Archduchess Sophie, tries to poison her marriage to Franz by suggesting to him that she's being unfaithful.



To make matters worse, Sissi is stricken with an unknown disease which the royal physician warns may be incurable.  While she's bedridden, the grief-stricken Franz Joseph must contend with a growing rift between Austria and Italy that will be accentuated by the cold reception he and Sissi receive upon their eventual state visit there.

Despite all the dramatic complications, this third SISSI adventure is brimming with more beautiful nature photography and some charming rural vignettes as the royal couple vacation incognito at a small mountain lodge in the Alps. (This is followed by some location photography during Sissi's visit to Greece.)

Later, there's a breathtaking view of a cavernous opera house in Milan where the invited Italian aristocrats express their disapproval of the visiting royal couple by ordering their lowly servants to attend in their stead. This leads to some delightful comedy as Sissi and Franz Joseph receive the delighted commoners as royalty at a reception following the opera. 

But best of all is the ending sequence which contains some of the most strikingly splendid imagery of the series as the royal couple's regal procession passes majestically through the picturesque canals and streets of Venice, to the eerie silence of its disapproving citizens.  A final surprise and a heartwarming wrap-up bring both SISSI: THE FATEFUL YEARS OF THE EMPRESS and the trilogy as a whole to a stirring conclusion.



Disc four of the Blu-ray set features the film VICTORIA IN DOVER, aka "The Story of Vickie" (1954), which predates the "Sissi" series by a year while serving as a blueprint for it by featuring a headstrong teenage girl, chafing against the burdens of royalty, suddenly finding herself in a position of grave responsibility while also expected to enter into pre-arranged royal matrimony. 

Here, however, that solemn position is no less than Queen of England, and the callow young girl, Victoria (Romy again, of course, and just as captivating as ever) is beset on both sides by those who wish to use her to advance their own political goals.  In fact, the first half of the film is preoccupied with the turbulent political concerns that occur when Victoria unexpectedly becomes Queen and must shoulder burdens that a lesser person might find unbearable.

Finally, though, at about the halfway point, all of this changes abruptly and VICTORIA IN DOVER becomes just the kind of romantic fantasy that made the "Sissi" movies so irresistible.  It may be even more of a fairytale story, in fact, with Victoria stopping off at a humble roadside inn (in disguise as a commoner, of course) only to meet her intended husband, the German prince Albert (Adrian Hoven), who is also there posing as one of the little people. 

One thing leads to pretty much exactly what you think it will, although as usual this predictability is of the highly satisfying kind.  The romantic aspect is such that the film is positively Disneyesque at times--Victoria reminds me of Snow White, while the prince is definitely charming.  I almost expected them to start singing to each other during the "Romeo" scene on the balcony of Vickie's rustic hotel room. 

VICTORIA IN DOVER has everything we love about the "Sissi" series but with a different recipe.  It's still quite a sumptuous dish. 

BONUS FEATURES:

Disc five in THE SISSI COLLECTION contains two featurettes.  One is "Sissi's Great-Grandson at the Movies", an excerpt from the documentary "Elisabeth: Enigma of an Empress" which features the title descendant of the real-life Sissi comparing the historical figure to her cinematic counterpart. 

The other is "From Romy to Sissi", a lengthy black-and-white making-of documentary that's narrated in winsome fashion by Romy Schneider herself (who would die tragically at age 43) and is loaded with rare behind-the-scenes footage.

The disc also contains a fascinating novelty: the condensation of the "Sissi" trilogy into one film entitled FOREVER MY LOVE, which was then dubbed into English, given a theme song by Burt Bacharach, and released to American audiences by Paramount Pictures in 1962.  While somewhat rushed and disjointed (and unrestored), with less than ideal dubbing, this feature-length "greatest hits" package of the original trilogy is a novelty that I found keenly interesting.

Finally, the Blu-ray case contains a lavishly-illustated 20-page booklet with credits and a synopsis for each film, plus an essay by renowned film writer Farrah Smith Nehme.

In my opinion, THE SISSI COLLECTION is Blu-ray at its most dazzling and visually splendid.  A spectacular feast for the eyes, these highly enjoyable films deftly avoid melodrama, are never heavy-handed or maudlin, and never descend into soap opera.  As romantic comedy-drama, historical fiction, and pure cinematic pageantry, they're absolutely top-notch.

Type:  Blu-ray
Running Time: 600 mins. + extras
Rating:  NR
Genre:  Drama
Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1 Widescreen/4:3
Audio:  (BD) DTS-HD Master Audio/5.1 Dolby Digital / (Bonus DVD) 5.1 Dolby Digital/2.0 Stereo
Language: German with English Subtitles

THE SISSI COLLECTION -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

A BUCKET OF BLOOD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 (Originally posted on 10/1/2019)

 

Fans of early Roger Corman films, especially those featuring the great Dick Miller, should welcome the arrival of Olive Signature Films' new Blu-ray release of Corman's seriocomic horror classic A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959). 

Corman regular Dick Miller plays Walter Paisley, an insecure milquetoast who buses tables in a beatnik coffee bar but dreams of being a creative artist like pretentious poet Maxwell (Julian Burton) in order to impress his heartthrob Carla (THE WASP WOMAN's Barboura Morris).

Another Corman fave, the great Antony Carbone of THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH, CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA, and PIT AND THE PENDULUM, is Walter's overbearing boss Leonard.

 

When Walter accidentally kills his landlady's cat, he covers the evidence with modeling clay and then shows off the result as his own artistic creation, garnering instant fame as a brilliant new talent.

But a hunger for greater recognition leads to murder when he whacks a gun-waving narc (future game-show host Bert Convy) over the head, killing him, and then turns him into a highly-praised clay sculpture as well. 

With more money and fame rolling in, Walter's trail of victims grows longer, eventually leading to Carla herself.

Olive's new Blu-ray release features a fine print mastered from a new 4K scan, with pristine picture and sound quality. The bonus menu is loaded with goodies which include:

    “Creation Is. All Else is Not” – Roger Corman on A Bucket of Blood
    “Call Me Paisley” – Dick and Lainie Miller on A Bucket of Blood
    Audio commentary by Elijah Drenner, director of "That Guy Dick Miller"
    Archival audio interview with screenwriter Charles B. Griffith
    “Bits of Bucket” – Visual essay comparing the original script to the finished film
    Essay by Caelum Vatnsdal, author of "You Don't Know Me, But You Love Me: The Lives of Dick Miller"
    Rare prologue from German release
    Super 8 “digest” version
    Theatrical trailer
    German theatrical trailer
    Gallery of newly-discovered on-set photography

 
If you liked 1960's THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS you should really be interested in this amusingly morbid tale which amounts to pretty much a dry run for the later film.  Besides also being helmed by Corman,  both were penned by Charles B. Griffith (DEATH RACE 2000), whose sense of humor seemed to play into the then-current appetite for beatnik culture and "sick" humor (the film's tagline is "You'll be sick, sick, sick--from laughing!")

Both feature typical be-bop musical scores by Fred Katz and similar production values (moody black-and-white photography, modest stage-like sets, a "skid row" ambience).   Carbone's bullying boss Leonard, just like flower shop owner Gravis Mushnik, first sees dollar signs from his employee's creative efforts but grows increasingly squeamish when he discovers the truth behind them.

Walter could be a first cousin of Jonathan Haze's Seymour Krelboyne,  another mousey shlub stuck in a dead-end job with an oppressive boss, who yearns to break out of his rut by doing something creative which will lead to murder.  We almost expect him to have a clinging, overbearing mother when he shleps back to his cheap apartment, and indeed his nosey landlady is played by Myrtle Damerel, who was Seymour's hypochondriac mom in LITTLE SHOP.

Barboura Morris, however, grounds the film by playing her role straight, and Griffith's script for BUCKET isn't nearly as whimsically farcical as the later story.  Carbone maintains a delicious deadpan even when Leonard's dazed reactions to Walter's bloodthirsty activities threaten to incapacitate him.

Other familiar faces include Ed Nelson as Bert Convy's undercover vice-cop partner,  Lynn Storey of LITTLE SHOP (she played "Mrs. Hortense Fishtwanger") as a curious square, and, as an art patron interested in Walter's work, the ubiquitous Bruno Ve Soto.

In the lead role that would define his career as a cult actor, Dick Miller wrings every nuance of nebbishness out of his pitifully desperate character and manages to remain likable even as his murderous tendencies spin out of control.  Corman's camera explores Miller's manic expressions with his own artistic eye and the collaboration results in a truly memorable performance.

A BUCKET OF BLOOD itself stands as a minor classic and a model of efficient, creative low-budget filmmaking as well as simply being a real kick to watch.


Buy it from Olive Films

YEAR: 1959
GENRE: COMEDY, HORROR
LANGUAGE: ENGLISH (with optional English subtitles)
LABEL: OLIVE FILMS
TOTAL RUNNING TIME: 66 mins
RATING: N/R
VIDEO: 1.85:1 Aspect Ratio; B&W
AUDIO: MONO
(This review contains excerpts from a previous review.)

A BUCKET OF BLOOD -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 4/29/17

 

Walerian Borowczyk was a Polish avant-garde artist who chose film as one medium through which to express his wildly imaginative musings.  In 1967, he tackled the art of animation with the feature-length cartoon THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL, aka "Théâtre de Monsieur & Madame Kabal" (Olive Films).

Or perhaps "tackled" isn't the correct term as much as "drugged, wrestled into submission, and dressed up funny."

With what appears to be a mix of cel art, cutouts, and other elements (at times it looks as though Borowczyk is drawing directly onto white paper in increments), he tells the story of a day in the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Kabal--he a short, mousey husband and she a tall, grotesque wife who appears to be a soulless mechanical monster of some kind.

The first scene catches her in the midst of assembling herself out of spare parts and choosing a head (after many tries, she picks the most alarming-looking one) before going along her un-merry way into what passes for a narrative, which actually isn't one at all.

Mr. Kabal, meanwhile, whiles away his spare time gazing around at the barren scenery through his telescoping binoculars until he catches brief glimpses of live-action women lounging in bikinis who are then menaced by an old man with a beard. These clips are the only color in this stark pen-and-ink world save for a few splashes here and there, including the ever-present butterflies flying endlessly about.

One sequence features the couple lying on the ground (he reading a newspaper, she lying face down) while the butterflies flit by for several minutes.  Some flutter, some flap, and others sound like trash can lids rolling by.

 

Borowczyk has a field day with the sound design throughout the film, as Mrs. Kabal foreshadows "Star Wars" robot C3PO with her staccato speech consisting of a barrage of electronic beeping noises. 

Borowczyk himself appears early on and urges her to simply act naturally (relatively speaking) so that we can observe the Kabals going through a typical day.  She beeps furiously in response (her dialogue is subtitled in three languages) before conjuring a weight out of thin air to drop on Borowczyk's head. 

The early scenes are the best, because they're slower paced and we can better assimilate what's going on, as nonsensical as it is, such as Mrs. Kabal shedding her outer metal husk in order to bath in the ocean, or Mr. Kabal attending a cinema show entitled "The Depths of the Human Body" which features live-action closeups of pulsating organs and a quivering esophagus.

In another scene, a giant crosscut saw separates Mrs. Kabal's head from her reclining body, which then expands to such great size that Mr. Kabal immediately scampers inside to explore the depths of its Escher-like interior.

As the film progresses, so does the pace, until we're assailed by a dizzying procession of utterly bizarre and senseless images that grow more relentlessly incomprehensible by the minute.  Finally the story is nothing more than pure stream-of-consciousness incongruity, and the effort to take it all in becomes rather taxing. 

For this reason it may be advisable to watch THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL in several short bursts rather than trying to handle it all in one mind-numbing sitting.  The more adventurous cineastes among us may consider the latter something of a challenge, while others will be both unable and unwilling to endure more than a few minutes of it.

One thing's for sure--I would be very surprised if Terry Gilliam, who supplied the celebrated animations for "Monty Python" throughout his tenure with the group, weren't at some time influenced by Borowczyk's work, just as the Polish artist's later live-action film GOTO, ISLE OF LOVE seems to foreshadow the early stylings of David Lynch.   

The story of the Kabals is similar to GOTO in its arbitrary and thoroughly unapologetic strangeness for its own sake (or, rather, for art's sake).  But unlike that film with its more coherent plot and less rampant surrealism, the almost hallucinatory THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL remains in the uppermost stratosphere of strangeness from beginning to end, like the long, fervid dream of a rarebit fiend, and dares us to still be there when it's finally done.

Tech Specs
Regional Code: region 1
Languages: French
Subtitles: English (optional)
Video: 1.33:1 aspect ratio; b&w + color
Runtime: 78 minutes
Bonus features: none

THEATER OF MR. & MRS. KABAL -- DVD Review by Porfle

Bobby Bittman's Death Scene In "The Poor Slob" with Eugene Levy (video)

 

From "The Enigma of Bobby Bittman" (Cinemax, 1988)

 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

 

Bobby Bittman's Death Scene In "The Poor Slob" with Eugene Levy (video)

Porfle's Trivia Quiz: "YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN" (1974) (video)

Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder scored a major success with this brilliant spoof...

...of Universal's classic "Frankenstein" movies of the 30s and 40s.

How much do you remember about it?


Question: Frederick declares his grandfather's work to be...what?

A. Horse pucky
B. Ca-ca
C. Pook-up
D. Doo-doo
E. Crapola

Question: Igor misinterprets the word "sedative" as what word?

A. Medative
B. Sedagive
C. Sedalive
D. Megagive
E. Serative

Question: Frau Blucher says that Victor Frankenstein was her...what?

A. Beau hunk
B. Boyfriend
C. Fiance'
D. Sweetheart
E. Love muffin

Question: The blind hermit tells the Monster, "Wait! I was gonna make..." What?

A. Coffee cake
B. Eggnog
C. Cocktails
D. Espresso
E. Martinis

Question: What frightens the Monster during "Puttin' On The Ritz"?

A. Falling backdrop
B. Camera flash
C. Faulty lightbulb
D. Car backfiring
E. Loud laughter


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Porfle's Trivia Quiz: "YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN" (1974) (video)

My Joy Harmon Music Video ("VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS", 1965) (video)

This is our musical tribute to the great Joy Harmon...

...who played Merrie in the cult classic VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (1965).

She's also famous for her television appearances with Groucho Marx...

...and as the girl who washes her car in the 1967 Paul Newman classic COOL HAND LUKE.


Music: "More Than This" by Roxy Music 

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

My Joy Harmon Music Video ("VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS", 1965) (video)

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS -- Movie Review by Porfle

 
(NOTE: This is one of my earliest movie reviews and originally appeared at Bumscorner.com in 2005.)

 

In the annals of goofy teen movies, one stands taller than all the rest. Mainly because it has giant teenagers in it.

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS is one of the dumbest movies ever made, yet it's a heck of a lot more fun to watch than THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY. Flung onto movie screens by Avco-Embassy Pictures way back in 1965, VILLAGE boasts an incredible cast including Tommy Kirk, Ron Howard, Johnny Crawford, Beau Bridges, Toni Basil, Joy Harmon, Tim "Mickey's my dad!" Rooney, Tisha Sterling, Joe Turkel, and the Beau Brummels. 

 

It was directed by Bert I. Gordon, the guy who liked to put giant things in his movies (notice hisinitials) such as AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN, EARTH VS. THE SPIDER, and FOOD OF THE GODS. Aside from the giant teenagers, this one has giant ducks, a giant tarantula, a giant cat, and a giant dog. The special effects aren't all that great, but, well, the movie didn't have a giant budget.

The story begins with a car wreck on the outskirts of town during a really bad rainstorm. Eight wild, fun-loving teenagers in their mid-twenties pile out and start dancing around in the mud. Then they flop down in it and commence to mud-rasslin'. But these activities aren't enough to satisfy such a hyperactive bunch, so they decide to walk to Hainesville and see what's hoppin' down at the local dance club. First, however, they break into a closed theater and help themselves to the facilities, which apparently include a washer-dryer combo and a shower.

Meanwhile, manly teen-heartthrob Tommy Kirk is making out on the couch with his girlfriend Nancy when suddenly there's an explosion down in her basement (no double-entendre intended). Nancy's kid brother, "Genius" (an Opie-sized Ron Howard), has just blown up his laboratory, and in the process has accidentally invented a substance that can super-size animals, which he discovers after his dog eats some of it and suddenly bumps his head on the ceiling. 

 

They feed a bit of it to some ducks that just happen to be waddling around out in the backyard, and the ducks get really big, too. Then the ducks waddle on down to the club and start dancing with the kids, who seem to think it's really neat to dance with some giant ducks.

But the ducks mean something else to Beau Bridges, the leader of the bad teenagers from outta town -- money. If he could steal the substance (technical name: "goo") he and his pals could get rich quick. He enlists Tisha Sterling to seduce Tommy Kirk while he personally puts the moves on Nancy, buying her a Coke and letting her feel his muscles. But their incredible combined sex appeal fails to elicit any information about the goo, so they must bide their time.

The next day, Tommy and Nancy hold a big rock 'n' roll pool party where they serve roast duck, and plenty of it. While Freddie Cannon serenades the crowd by unsuccessfully attempting to lip-synch to his song "Little Bitty Corinne", one of the bad girls finally tricks Genius into spilling the beans about the goo. 

 

Before you know it, Beau and his wild bunch are back at the theater, dividing the stolen hunk of goo into eight pieces. Seems they've decided to eat it themselves, get big, and show all those mean old adults that have always pushed them around who's boss, along with goody-goody fellow teens such as Tommy and Nancy.

 

They eat the goo. Buttons start popping off. Clothing begins to rip. Joy Harmon comes to the forefront at this point in the movie for two really big reasons. No, not her acting and dialogue. In case you don't know, Joy played the girl who washes her car in COOL HAND LUKE, which is the first thing that most guys who have seen COOL HAND LUKE remember about it. She doesn't wash a car in this movie, but she does get to be about fifty feet tall and dance around in a makeshift bikini, which will do.

The pool party suddenly turns ugly when the giant teenagers show up and start jerking and frugging in slow motion to Jack Nitzsche's ultra-cool theme music. At one point, Joy playfully grabs normal-sized Johnny Crawford (who played Mark McCain on "The Rifleman") and hangs him from her halter straps. Maybe it's just me, but this doesn't seem like such a bad thing. Since his girlfriend is watching, however, Johnny must act mortified by the jiggling ordeal until finally the local sheriff (Joe Turkel of BLADE RUNNER fame) shows up, takes one look at the giant teens, and groans wearily, "Oh, for crying out loud, now what's THIS?"

Beau informs him that they are taking over the town. This means that the adults will have to take orders from them, which includes lugging tons of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Cokes to the theater every day around lunchtime. To ensure their cooperation, Beau has the sheriff's daughter and Tommy's girlfriend kidnapped and held hostage. Tommy and the rest of the good teens must then think of a way to rescue them while Genius works feverishly on a goo-antidote. 

 

Toni ("Oh Mickey, you're so fine") Basil, who plays a go-go dancer at the club, helps by distracting the big boys with some far-out booty-shakin'. Meanwhile, Johnny is lowered from the rafters by a rope so that he can shove a huge wad of ether-soaked cotton in Joy's face, and ends up lodged in her cleavage again. Did he help write this script or what?

All of this, of course, is leading up to the final David-and-Goliath showdown between Tommy and Beau involving spears and slingshots in the town square. "Don't worry...I'll bring you his head on a silver platter," Beau promises Joy right before the fight, to which one of the group confidently responds, for no apparent reason, "That was Samson and Delilah!" No, it wasn't, you big dummy, it was John the Baptist and Salome'. You just wanna grab Mr. Information and slap him a few times for being so dumb, but you can't, which is frustrating. But that was forty years ago, so he's probably been slapped plenty of times by now anyway.

If I told you any more, I'd be giving away too much of the plot -- not that it matters. VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS is stupid, has bad special-effects, and doesn't really make much sense, but it's also a lot of fun to watch. So for its entertainment value, and because Joe Bob Briggs himself once bestowed the "Joy Harmon Fan Club Appreciation Award" on me (although I'm not sure whether or not he's really authorized to do that), I'm giving it a giant thumbs up.

VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS -- Movie Review by Porfle

ONE WAY WAHINE (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/21/21

 

Currently watching: bouncy blonde beach goddess of the 1960s, Joy Harmon, in the incredibly obscure beach flick ONE WAY WAHINE (1965).

If you're a fan of the divine Joy Harmon, chances are you've already watched her magnum opus, VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS (also from 1965) numerous times. You'll also have fond memories of her legendary car-washing scene in COOL HAND LUKE two years later.

And vintage TV fans will even recall her charming appearances with an eyebrow-waggling Groucho Marx on his classic 1950s-era shows "You Bet Your Life" and "Tell It To Groucho" under the name "Patty Harmon."

 

Joy popped up in several other movies and TV episodes during her career, which spanned from 1956 to 1973, but her only starring role seems to be in the little-known ONE WAY WAHINE. ("It rhymes with bikini!" the poster tells us.)

Shot on a miniscule budget by a long-forgotten production company, this odd little film features Joy as Kit, an impossibly tanned beach bunny who, when not drawing the attention of every man in sight sunbathing on a Hawaiian beach, likes to wander from party to party while making a meager living doing whatever she can to get by.

We first see her stretched out on a beach towel looking almost as dark as "Tan Mom" but without the use of a tanning booth. She's being ogled via binoculars by a couple of fugitives from a Chicago bank robbery, Charley and Hugo (character actors Lee Kreiger and Ken Meyer, familiar faces from such films as THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN and LITTLE BIG MAN), as they lounge on the balcony of their Hawaiian getaway pad.

 

 

When Kit's friend Lou (David Whorf) delivers some hooch to the crooked pair and deduces that they're sitting on a bundle of stolen cash, he enlists his roommate Chick (Anthony Eisley) to help cook up a plan to steal the stolen loot themselves by setting up Kit and Chick's girlfriend Brandy (Adele Claire) as call girls who will seduce the bank robbers and then slip a Mickey into their drinks.

From the plot description, one can easily surmise that this is anything but the usual "beach party" teen movie. In fact, it's hard to figure out just who the filmmakers were aiming this pleasantly odd diversion at besides Joy Harmon fans hoping to catch her in and out of her clothes while basking in her bubbly dumb-blonde (but not that dumb) persona. (Her energetic dance to the film's theme song is a highlight.)

And unlike the standard beach movies, there's no surfing, romantic complications, zany supporting characters (unless one counts a bearded, unrecognizable Edgar Bergen as aging beach bum Sweeney and "Green Acres" icon Alvy Moore as Kit's amorous landlord), or big-name rock 'n' roll stars. 

 

 

In fact, most of the people in this movie are well past even pretending to be teenagers. (Pretty Adele Claire could even be described as a "milf.")

Despite various attempts at lightheartedness, the plan that our two main couples are hatching has an air of real danger about it (especially after we see bank robber Charley cleaning his automatic weapon which he always keeps at the ready).

When a dolled-up Kit and Brandy finally show up at Charley and Hugo's pad with knockout pills ready to slip into their drinks, the preliminary partying leads to one bad break after another for the girls until, to our dismay, fists start flying and the attempts at sex become wildly non-consensual. And the situation actually escalates from there.

 

 

While the first half of the film drags a bit and gives no indication that it will ever actually become more than a somewhat endearingly cheap novelty, the second half got my movie-watching juices flowing nicely. And the Hawaiian backdrop is a big improvement over the dreary beaches where Frankie and Annette used to hang out.

The cast is made up mainly of recognizable old pros (Eisley, Kreiger, Meyer, Bergen) who help us get past the film's low budget and its bland "point and shoot" directing style. (I won't comment on the image and color quality, sound, etc. since the copy I watched was anything but optimum.)

And of course there's the divine Joy, who provides fans with some delectable eye candy while fully displaying her sparkling personality. She's the main reason for spending time on a mildly diverting but otherwise wholly unexceptional obscurity like ONE WAY WAHINE, and it's to her credit that the time, for me anyway, felt not so badly spent.

ONE WAY WAHINE (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

R.I.P. Joy Harmon (1940-2026)

 

 

We are very sad to announce the passing of the beloved actress Joy Harmon (born Patricia Joy Harmon in 1940). 

She was a longtime fan favorite thanks to her appearances in such films as VILLAGE OF THE GIANTS, COOL HAND LUKE (in which her car-washing scene is iconic), and ONE-WAY WAHINE, as well as guest roles on "The Monkees", "The Man From U.N.C.L.E.", "Batman", and Groucho Marx' "You Bet Your Life", where she first came to prominence.

After a busy acting career, she settled down to raise a family (including three children—Jason, Julie, and Jamie—and nine grandchildren) and began a bakery called Aunt Joy's cakes, which started in her own kitchen before becoming a runaway success. 

 

 

According to People.com, her family confirmed she died from complications related to pneumonia, which she had been battling for several weeks. After a hospitalization of about one to two weeks and a stay at a rehabilitation center, she spent her final days in hospice care surrounded by loved ones. Remarkably, she was reportedly working at her beloved bakery just the day before she was originally hospitalized. 

Joy will be long remembered by her many loving fans for her sweet, bubbly personality and the way she could light up the screen no matter what she was in. 

 

 

 

R.I.P. Joy Harmon (1940-2026)

Did Disney's "THAT DARN CAT!" Inspire Tarantino's "FROM DUSK TILL DAWN"? (video)

 

Quentin Tarantino's script for "From Dusk Till Dawn" (1996)...

...features two bank robbers and their frightened hostage, a female teller.

So does Walt Disney's 1965 comedy, "That Darn Cat!"

One particular scene from the Disney film clearly inspired Tarantino...

...and both are equally unsettling. 

 

(Originally posted on 1/14/21)

I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Did Disney's "THAT DARN CAT!" Inspire Tarantino's "FROM DUSK TILL DAWN"? (video)

STAN HELSING -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 10/26/09

 

 

I don't want to say that I had low expectations for this movie, because actually, it would be more accurate to say that I had no expectations. Therefore, the fact that STAN HELSING (2009) turned out to be such a breezy, inventive, and consistently funny romp through some of our favorite horror film cliches of recent years (mainly the 80s and 90s) came as a delightful surprise.

Stan Helsing (Steve Howey in a likable performance) is a slacker and a stoner, but he isn't terminally out to lunch like such characters usually are. Basically he's a horny, fun-loving clod who happens to be shallow, conceited, and totally self-absorbed, but in a likable way. As the story begins, Stan has just gotten off work at Schlockbuster and is headed for what promises to be a fun Halloween party. 

 

Traveling there with his ex-girlfriend Nadine, his best friend Teddy, and Teddy's new girlfriend Mia, Stan announces that he has to drop off some DVDs for his boss' mom on the way. This takes them deep into the scary part of town (with street names such as Elm Street and Mockingbird Lane) where they promptly get lost and end up in a horrific gated community called Stormy Night Estates.

Stopping into a redneck bar, they're told by an incredibly ugly waitress (Leslie Nielsen as "Kay") that the community is cursed by monsters and that their only hope is the return of legendary monster hunter Van Helsing. Well, our non-hero Stan Helsing, it turns out, is actually Stan VAN Helsing, a descendant of the original monster hunter, which makes him and his friends the target of every monster, supernatural creature, and homicidal maniac within killing distance.

The gags fly fast and furious from start to finish, and most of them stick (or splat, as the case may be). Stan is ordered by his dweeby boss at Schlockbuster to go kill a cockroach that's been reported in the ladies' restroom. It turns out to be six feet tall and spewing some kind of disgusting goop from its nether regions. Stan also barges in on a couple of gorgeous lesbians, dressed as a cop and a French maid, who are making out in one of the stalls. Watching them flounce away after he bungles his chance to join in, he laments, "I cockblocked myself!" And that's just the first few minutes.

The road trip in search of Stan's boss' mom's house to deliver the DVDs (which turn out to be gay porn such as GRAZING RYAN'S PRIVATES and SOREST RUMP) is a mini-movie in itself as the group encounter a Charles Manson-like hitchhiker with a swastika carved on the end of his nose and a rage-stoked redneck who vows to kill them all after they run over his dog a la I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER. An innocent stopover at a gas station brings them into conflict with a scary shotgun-wielding hippie chick and a Native American pervert who videotapes them in the bathroom so he can sell DVDs of it to his customers. And we haven't even gotten to the actual monsters yet.

As for the monsters, you get Fweddy (last name Kwueger, I assume), the nightmare guy with the Swiss army knife glove; Michael Criers (Get it? It rhymes with "Myers" *cough, cough*); Pleatherface, a leafblower-wielding maniac whose face looks like a purse Mia bought in Tijuana; Needlehead ('nuff said); Mason, who now wears the entire hockey uniform; and a "Chucky" clone.

During their terror-filled night in Stormy Night Estates, our heroes also encounter the Brides of Dracula. This part's fun, because the fanged femmes are gorgeous and because Stan and Teddy have a shared fantasy sequence with the BOD (Brides of Dracula) as topless dancers. Yeah, baby! Later, they duck into a church and meet a cross-dressing altar boy (a funny Jeremy Crittenden) who gives them a super soaker filled with holy water, which, of course, Teddy drinks. The climactic karaoke contest between the good guys and the monsters is fun, especially when the monsters hit the stage as the Village People. The rest of the film is loaded with references to other horror flicks and it's fun picking them out.

With his ad-libs, funny expressions, expert delivery, and dumb-looking Superman costume, Kenan Thompson is a lot of fun to watch. The same and more can be said for Desi Lydic as the deliriously dizzy Mia. Not only is she cute as a button, but Desi's comedy sense is sharp as a bloody talon. Her exquisitely-delivered deadpan stupid-isms are often hilarious---she's probably the funniest thing about the whole movie. As Nadine, Diora Baird is not only an appealing actress but she's also gorgeous and has a great rack, which is prominently featured in every single shot that she's in and which you can also Google. Woo-hoo!

SCARY MOVIE executive producer Bo Zenga does a nice job directing and the film has a great look. Zenga provides a commentary track for the Anchor Bay DVD along with Desi Lydic and Kenan Thompson. Bonuses also include the featurette "Killer Parody: The Making of Stan Helsing", extended, alternate, and deleted scenes, outtakes, still gallery, storyboard gallery (yawn), and theatrical trailer. The film is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 5.1 and English subtitles.

With its AIRPLANE!-type comedy style and kitchen-sink story, STAN HELSING is just as dumb as it sounds--but it's a good dumb. I don't know how it compares to the SCARY MOVIE series, since I stopped watching those after the first one. One thing's for sure...it beats the hell out of VAN HELSING.

STAN HELSING -- DVD Review by Porfle

THE MAD ADVENTURES OF "RABBI" JACOB -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/6/19

 

I was bored one night back in 1973, so I drove ten miles to see this obscure (to me, anyway) foreign comedy that had a funny trailer. Not expecting much, I ended up having the time of my life (well, one of them, anyway) because this kooky little French romp turned out to be one of the funniest, wildest and most delightful farce comedies I'd ever seen.

Now, forty some-odd years later, THE MAD ADVENTURES OF "RABBI" JACOB (Film Movement Classics) is just as funny, just as wild, and somehow even more delightful because it has aged like fine bubbly champagne that gets up your nose and makes you giggle.

Popular, rubber-faced French comic Louis de Funès plays Victor Pivert, a diminutive hothead speeding cross-country to his daughter's wedding while berating his chaffeur Solomon and yelling at other drivers, especially the foreign ones (he hates Belgians, Germans, Englishmen, anyone who isn't French).

Somehow--I'm not going to go into it here--Pivert gets mixed up in violent political intrigue between two Middle Eastern countries and is fleeing on a moped with a revolutionary named Slimane (Claude Giraud), a gang of ruthless killers hot on their heels.  And he can't depend on his chauffeur Solomon for help because he just fired him after finding out he was Jewish. (That wasn't the actual reason but it's an added factor.)

Then, somehow--I'm not going to go into it here--Pivert and Slimane assume the identities of a Hassidic rabbi named Jacob and his assistant. The real Rabbi Jacob is due to return to his French community after years in the U.S.A., and the imposters are welcomed by gleeful mobs of admirers as Pivert is expected to preside over the bar mitzvah of Jacob's nephew in addition to several other ceremonies and such of which he has absolutely no knowledge.

And as all this is going on, the little town is beseiged by Slimane's gun-blazing enemies, police detectives on the trail of Pivert because they think he's a killer, and Pivert's frantic wife who wants to throttle him for not showing up at their daughter's wedding.

Obviously I've tried to summarize the plot as well as possible, but it just can't come close to describing what a wonderfully wacky comic delight this movie is.  Pivert may be the most lovable bigot in any film comedy, especially since we know he's eventually going to learn his lesson before it's over.

He has a hilarious talent for deadpan mugging (I love the part where he tries to get the attention of two cops by making faces at them) and the frantic, cartoonish physicality of Leon Errol. Not only that, but when he's eluding his would-be killers in a chewing gum factory he and they all end up sliding into a vat of the stuff and emerging as gooey green blobs.

As Pivert contends with these murderous political zealots (the actors play their roles wonderfully straight) I was reminded of Woody Allen's perilous comedic entanglements with South American revolutionaries in BANANAS.

Indeed, much of the raucous slapstick comedy in this film is just as intensely off-the-wall and often startlingly bent as anything Woody came up with in his early, funnier films. 

The Tex Avery-level sight gags and outlandish situations come fast and furious. Pivert's nagging, spoiled wife berates him over the phone while working on a nervous patient (she's a dentist, of all things) and Pivert flees in a car with a boat on top that eventually goes into a lake and becomes a boat with a car on top. 

His experiences in the Jewish community filled with well-wishers who adore him (as Rabbi Jacob) are both achingly funny and heartwarming without ever getting sappy.  Needless to say, his daughter's belated wedding becomes the scene of a calamitous collision of all the different characters and plot elements that never lets up until the fadeout.

THE MAD ADVENTURES OF "RABBI" JACOB has a nice message of tolerance, but it shows it instead of preaching it to us and never lets it get in the way of the sparkling fun.  If you're looking for a truly feelgood comedy that will have you giddy with joyful laughter, this is it.



Buy it at Film Movement

Blu-ray Features
Interview with co-screenwriter Danièle Thompson
New essay by author Phoebe Maltz Bovy
Sound: Mono

DVD Features
Interview with co-screenwriter Danièle Thompson
New essay by author Phoebe Maltz Bovy
Sound: Mono

THE MAD ADVENTURES OF "RABBI" JACOB -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

The Three Stooges: Getting Hurt For Real (video)

Stooging could be a hazardous profession...

In "Gem of a Jam" (1943), the table Curly's on tilts too fast and his head hits the window sill.
The gash required nine stitches.  He immediately returned to work.

"Heavenly Daze" (1939) director Jules White assured Moe that a pen gag wouldn't hurt Larry. 
It did.  The pen deeply punctured Larry's forehead, and Moe took off after White.

Ironically, Moe sustained the most on-set injuries.

A blast of gunk to the face in "Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise" (1939) required medical attention to Moe's eyes.

In "Self-Made Maids" (1950), a twisted ankle has Moe diving out of camera range to save the shot.
He hits his head on a bed frame and is knocked cold.

In "Pardon My Scotch" (1935), Moe does a pratfall that results in several broken ribs.

He rises and finishes the shot before passing out.  The rest of the scene was filmed later.



I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

The Three Stooges: Getting Hurt For Real (video)

Dick Van Dyke's Mystifying Child-Clones ("Cold Turkey", 1971) (video)

 

Song: "Goodnight and I Wish" by Altered Images

Video by Porfle Popnecker.  I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Dick Van Dyke's Mystifying Child-Clones ("Cold Turkey", 1971) (video)

Did "Dr. Goldfoot" Beat "Bullitt" To The Car Chase? (video)

"Bullitt" (1968) is well known for its harrowing car chase through San Francisco...

...racing up and down those steep hills...

...and especially those dizzying point-of-view camera shots.

But another movie beat "Bullitt" to all of that by three years...

..."Dr. Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine" (1965)!


I neither own nor claim any rights to this material.  Just having some fun with it.  Thanks for watching!

Did "Dr. Goldfoot" Beat "Bullitt" To The Car Chase? (video)

Elizabeth Montgomery's Cameo In "How To Stuff A Wild Bikini" (1965) (video)

 

Elizabeth Montgomery is best known for her role as Samantha the suburban  witch in the long-running 60s-era television series "Bewitched."

Her then-husband William Asher, who produced and directed many of that show's episodes, also directed most of the original "beach party" movies...

...hence Elizabeth Montgomery's amusing cameo in "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini" (1965.)

Video by Porfle Popnecker. I neither own nor claim any rights to this material. Just having some fun with it. Thanks for watching!

Elizabeth Montgomery's Cameo In "How To Stuff A Wild Bikini" (1965) (video)

IT'S A BIKINI WORLD (1967) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/31/21

 

Currently rewatching: IT'S A BIKINI WORLD (1967), a late entry in the "beach party" genre and one of several imitations of the official American-International Pictures series with Frankie and Annette.

Already-established AIP beach movie stars Deborah Walley (BEACH BLANKET BINGO) and Tommy Kirk (PAJAMA PARTY) are the Frankie and Annette equivalents here, with Deborah playing independent girl Delilah hitting the beach for summer vacation, and Tommy as local lothario Mike, who takes one look and decides to add her to his stable of bikini babes.

Finding her less than receptive to his manly charms and overhearing her desire for a more intellectual type, Mike dons a pair of glasses and disguises himself as his imaginary nerdy twin brother Herbert. 

 

Delilah takes an instant liking to the mild-mannered bookworm and all is well...until, of course, Mike inevitably falls for Delilah and must figure out how to reveal his true identity to her.

The film begins with an awesome main titles sequence in which scenes of teens frolicking on the beach are freeze-framed and transformed into comic-book art. Production values are just a tad chintzier than the AIP's, but locations and photography are pretty much on par.

Energetic performances add to the film's breezy ambience, as does a sprightly Mike Curb score. (This, despite Walley and Kirk reportedly hating the film and considering it a low point in their careers.) The romantic complications are always played lightly and for laughs, and several colorful action scenes are brisk and fun.

 

 

These consist of a series of races held as publicity stunts by beatnik enterpreneur Daddy (the great Sid Haig channeling "Big Daddy" Roth) to promote his lines of brand-name surfboards, skateboards, and even race cars. Delilah, with training by Herbert, competes in each against the arrogant Mike, unaware that he and Herbert are one and the same.

This series of races keeps the film moving at a fast pace when not focusing on the odd love triangle between Delilah, Mike, and Herbert. There are also several scenes taking place in Daddy's monster-themed nightclub, complete with music by the likes of Eric Burdon and the Animals, The Toys, The Gentrys, and The Castaways.

Without an established cast of characters, we don't get the feeling of comradery that exists among the AIP beach party gang. In fact, the only other teen characters we meet are Mike's not-so-bright friend Woody (played amiably by "Monster Mash" legend Bobby "Boris" Pickett) and his girlfriend Pebbles (Suzie Kaye, WEST SIDE STORY, CLAMBAKE).

 

 

Popping up here and there in the cast are Jim Begg (THE GHOST AND MR. CHICKEN), Carolyn Brandt (RAT PFINK A BOO BOO), and Lori Williams of FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL! fame.

Scenes from Roger Corman's AIP horror flick ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS also pop up during a movie theater scene (with Woody acting as the clueless third wheel during Herbert and Delilah's movie date) due to the fact that AIP picked this movie up for distribution from the smaller company Trans American Films.

Of note is the fact that this film eschews the official series' tendency toward total cartoony farce and surrealism, as well as characters suddenly breaking out into song.

 

 

It presents instead a more traditional sitcom-style comedy which, despite its exaggerated characters and situations, might actually take place in the real world.

Direction is capably handled by co-writer Stephanie Rothman, who would go on to helm such exploitation staples as THE STUDENT NURSES, TERMINAL ISLAND, and THE WORKING GIRLS.

Surprisingly fun for such a lightweight "beach party" clone, IT'S A BIKINI WORLD should satisfy those with a soft spot for the Frankie and Annette beach pictures which had pretty much run their course. While certainly a lesser effort, it's a pleasantly amusing diversion nevertheless.

IT'S A BIKINI WORLD (1967) -- Movie Review by Porfle

SKI PARTY (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 5/22/21

 

Currently rewatching: SKI PARTY (1965). By this time, American-International were starting to see the writing in the sand, and, even though they still had a couple of "beach party" movies left in them, started trying to branch out into other areas of interest for ticket-buying teens.

Hence, this weird hybrid of beach-pic elements but with sand and surfing replaced by snow and skiing. This time we start off with our fun-loving teens still in college, on the verge of winter break and just roiling with hormones looking for somewhere to go and something to do.

Frankie Avalon is no longer make-out king "Frankie", but instead plays strike-out king "Todd", who, along with equally inept Craig ("Dobie Gillis" star Dwayne Hickman), spends every waking hour frantically trying to get to first base with the most romance-averse girls in the universe, Linda (Deborah Walley) and Barbara (a pre-Batgirl Yvonne Craig).

 

 
I mean, these girls are pathologically repelled by anything even slightly resembling hugging and kissing, to such a degree that they make Annette Funicello's "Dee-Dee" look like a raving nymphomaniac. (Which, in her brief cameo as a teacher, she sorta is, since we find her smooching away with a student at the drive-in.)

In one scene, the girls get together in their room for cocoa, pillow-fighting, and other girl-type stuff while enjoying a spirited discussion of all the things they've done to boys who tried to get next to them (one guy ended up with one arm, and another with a parole officer). And through it all, Linda and Barbara remain in a constant state of fuming indignance toward the guys for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Lucky for them, Todd and Craig are so irrationally devoted to winning these resolutely platonic party poopers as steady girlfriends that they follow them on a ski club field trip to the snowy slopes, despite not being able to ski.

This results in the usual sight gags about flying out-of-control down steep mountains on skis or sleds, screaming for their lives, as we cringe at the memory of various real-life celebrities who have done the same thing but with fatal results.

But that's nothing compared to some of the film's more cartoony gags, such as Todd attempting to win a ski jump contest by donning a scuba suit under his clothes and filling it with bottled helium until he's bloated like a weather balloon and drifting helplessly over the stunned crowd.  Helpful pal Craig shoots him down with a starter pistol and Todd goes spewing all over the place as the helium escapes.

I won't even try to explain why, but a major plotline involves the boys disguising themselves as girls, "Some Like It Hot" style, and pretending to be Jane and Nora from England while looking about as much like actual females as Aldo Ray in drag.

As anyone who's seen "Some Like It Hot" can guess, the school's #1 makeout king, blonde pretty-boy Freddie (Aron Kincaid, who could pass for Joy Harmon's twin brother) falls madly in love with Nora, with the usual comic complications. I almost expected a reprise of the old "Nobody's perfect" gag at the end.

Certain surefire elements from the beach movies are served up again to help things along, including bikinis (thanks to the ski lodge's big heated pool), a comical old fogie (Robert Q. Lewis as a psychologically maladjusted activity director slash chaperone), and the voluptuous Bobbi Shaw, this time given actual dialogue as a Swedish ski instructor who has Todd's heart (and other parts of his body) all a-flutter. 

 

 
Also served up are the usual bland songs, which Frankie and Deborah (and the ever-bland Hondells) try their best to croon some life into. Thankfully, however, we're treated to a couple of bonafide Top 40 legends, with Lesley Gore singing "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" on the bus to the lodge and James Brown (back in his pompadour days) and the Famous Flames performing the classic "I Feel Good" in front of the fireplace.

The film manages yet another cartoony chase sequence and ends up, strangely enough, right back on the beach for a happy fadeout. (Did you expect any other kind?) SKI PARTY is just as dumb as it sounds, but if you watch it in the right frame of mind, it's the kind of harmless fun that goes down easy.

(Note: At the end of the closing credits we're told to be on the lookout for a follow-up entitled "Cruise Party." Since I don't believe such a film exists, it seems American-International may have intended to continue their teen-movie series with variations on the "Party" theme, but the plan didn't work out.)

SKI PARTY (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle