THE THREE WORST EPISODES OF "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" -- by Porfle

Here's a rundown of the three WORST episodes of "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" (as chosen by me) with commentary by a roundtable consisting of some of my distinguished Facebook friends.  (We talked about the three BEST episodes HERE.)

(Originally posted on 10/25/13) 

 

3rd worst "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode of all time--"The Way to Eden", aka "Space Hippies."

Charles Napier and Skip Homeier help make this one a real treat.  Skip plays a charismatic guru conning a bunch of futuristic flower children into thinking there's an Eden planet out there somewhere and they can reach it by hijacking the Enterprise. 

Before  that happens,  however, Spock tunes up the old Vulcan harp and jams with them in an impromptu musical concert that sounds like cats running around on a set of rusty box springs.  The "hippies" in this case are straight out of the DC Comics "Totally-Out-Of-It" notion of how hippies should look, act,  and, God help us,  speak.

    William J Ellingsworth: I want that guitar!
 
    Ruby Wolf: I always wondered where they got their hair bleach, Nair and make-up in space.
  
    Porfle Popnecker: Lucille Ball's "Desilu" studios had one of the worst makeup departments imaginable.

    Ruby Wolf: I know, right. Lucy came in as a redhead but by the time they finished with her, everyone was black, white and grey.
 
    Porfle Popnecker:  Florence Henderson tells of having to get made up for an audition at Desilu and ending up looking like one of "Mudd's Women."
  
    Richard Von Busack: Oh, my god! I can't wait to see this, knowing Napier is in it!  That's the smile of success!
 
    Porfle Popnecker: It does help make it one of the cooler "bad" episodes of a TV show.
 
    Ruby Wolf:  Looks like it was cold in there, too.

    Porfle Popnecker:  He was used to tweaking them for Russ Meyer before every scene.

    Paul Sanchez: I had Napier's same outfit back in my Vegas Disco days.

    Porfle Popnecker: I think he may be wearing it backwards.

    Paul Sanchez: I think SHE is wearing HERS backwards.

    Porfle Popnecker: Not according to NBC Standards and Practices she ain't!





2nd worst "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode of all time--3rd season opener "Spock's Brain."

(Pictured: Marj Dusay of the CBS soap opera "Capitol" feeds Kirk's femdom fantasies while a brain-free Spock waits for someone to jiggle his joystick.)

 The male and female members of this particular race live separately,  with the savage males (the Morg) roughing it topside and the childlike females (the Ey-Morg cared for in a comfortable underground complex by a brain-powered computer. 

Whenever this computer needs a new brain, the head female, Kara (Dusay), has a session with a helmet device called "The Teacher" (shades of FORBIDDEN PLANET), gains temporary intelligence, and goes off looking for a brain to steal.  Which, in this case, just happens to belong to our favorite pointy-eared Vulcan.
 

While not under the influence of "The Teacher",  these babes are pretty dense--"Brain and brain!  What is brain!"  Kara exclaims at one point as Kirk presses her for information.  He's barking up the wrong tree here.  Spock, meanwhile, is operated by remote control  like a toy robot until he can get his brain back.  Leonard Nimoy, not surprisingly, found the episode "embarrassing."

James Cole: But it's fun! Unintentional side-splitting humor!  "You are not Morg. You are not Ey-Morg! What are you?"

Porfle Popnecker: I love the way Shatner hogs the camera during their "pain" sequences.

Paul Sanchez: Not as much as he does in "Gamesters of Triskelion." [posts picture]
 


Porfle Popnecker: That's a great pic but I'd have to do a comparison.

James Cole: I actually used a cropped photo of the above for my profile pic!

Porfle Popnecker: It's classic Shatner.

Worst "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode of all time--"The Alternative Factor." 

With guest star Robert Brown ("Here Come the Brides") as "Lazarus."

Blah. Just...blah.

    Harcourt Mudd: Sitting around the break room, playing with the food replicator, and being disappointed there is no live gagh available. And you thought you could have it yourrrrrr way.

    Porfle Popnecker: Lazarus looks like he just smoked a space doobie in this pic.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: He's a late 60s mess.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: I am always struck by how blandly sterile the ship's interior sets were. Do people really live here?

    Porfle Popnecker: Well, it is sort of a science-military work environment. I always thought it was rather pleasant looking.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: It really grates on me. But, then, that's just me.

    Porfle Popnecker: I dig it. Now the first movie, THAT'S blandly sterile looking.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: Yeah, true. And too too disco-y.

    Porfle Popnecker: It looks like they're wearing pajamas inside a fish tank.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: I'd never thought of it that way, but that's a good way of describing it...

    Porfle Popnecker: Surprisingly, I like the J.J. Abrams Enterprise interiors except for Engineering, which is actually the interior of a Budweiser brewery.

    Nathan Baxter Simar: I have gotten to the point where I don't really see sci-fi ship interiors any more that grab me, like they used to when I was a kid and later as a young man.

    Porfle Popnecker:  I like most of them. ALIEN is a fave. And STARSHIP TROOPERS.
 
    James Cole: Absolutely agree. Worst. Episode. Ever. (Of TOS.) It's in part because a major subplot had to be cut and made the script too short - so they filled it with endless repeating shots of Lazarus running and falling and running and falling...

    Porfle Popnecker: Ugh, I'm starting to relive it now!

    James Cole: The episode always confused and bored me as a kid. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. Among its many faults: WHY DOES KIRK LET THIS RAVING MANIAC JUST WANDER THE SHIP BY HIMSELF?

    Porfle Popnecker: And you had to figure out which Lazarus you were looking at by keeping up with his Band-aid or whatever.
 
    James Cole: The editing was incomprehensible - and if you look closely, Lazarus's beard on the planet doesn't match how it looks on the ship. It's like twice as thick.

    Porfle Popnecker: The whole episode is twice as thick!
   
    Paul Sanchez: I kinda liked the basic concept, but yeah. the production of it was a mess.

    Paul Sanchez: And don't diss on ST:The Motion Picture. I love it. Those uniforms were the logical update from the TV show-- practical, yet comfy-- so sure, you could sleep in them too.

   Porfle Popnecker:  All that was missing was the footies!

   Porfle Popnecker: I actually have a much higher opinion of the first movie since the release of the Director's Cut on DVD.

   Paul Sanchez: Oh that cut is great. It all gels. Robert Wise had never made a BAD movie-- when allowed.

   James Cole: Friends of mine worked on the Director's Edition DVD. It's a far superior cut of the movie - it works great.

   Porfle Popnecker: And the addition of a countdown to self-destruct at the end adds some actual old-fashioned suspense like the original series had.

   Paul Sanchez: Porf's fave part is when Chekov gets an owwie and screams like a little girl.

   Porfle Popnecker: Yeah, that's the most thrill-packed moment in the whole movie.


Thanks to everyone who participated in this discussion!  You can check out the follow-up, "The Three Best-Ever Episodes of 'Star Trek: The Original Series'" right HERE!

 

THE THREE WORST EPISODES OF "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" -- by Porfle

THE THREE BEST EPISODES OF "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" -- by Porfle

 

Here's a rundown of the three BEST episodes of "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" (as chosen by me) with commentary by a roundtable consisting of some of my distinguished Facebook friends.  (We discussed the three worst episodes HERE.)

 (Originally posted on 10/26/13)

 

3rd best "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode--"Journey to Babel."

Spock's parents (Mark Lenard, Jane Wyatt), lots of aliens, lots of intrigue, and a nail-biting ending. 

Guest stars Reggie Nalder and William O'Connell  play Andorians (white-haired, blue-skinned aliens with antennae), who may be responsible for sending a "kamikaze"-style attack ship after the Enterprise as it transports ambassadors (including Spock's father, Sarek) to a peace conference.
 
During an ambush in a corridor, Kirk (William Shatner) gets to do his stupid drop-kick move where he ends up on the floor with his back  to his opponent (and, sure enough,  gets stabbed in the back). 

Sarek, meanwhile, needs an operation and estranged-son Spock (Leonard Nimoy) is the only available blood donor--but he refuses to relieve himself  of duty while Kirk is incapacitated, leading to a dramatic scene between him and his human mother, Amanda (Wyatt).  A real "event" episode.

   
Todd Frye: God, it looks so good with the film restored.

James Cole: "Tellarites do not argue for any reason. They simply argue."

Porfle Popnecker: "SAH-rek of VOOL-can!"

James Cole: "Threats are illogical...and payments usually expensive."

James Cole: I actually have BOTH the original TREATMENT and Final Draft Shooting Script by D.C. Fontana - it's "fascinating". In the treatment, Spock's father was named "Ambassador Karek".

Porfle Popnecker:  I like details like that.

2nd best "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode--"City On the Edge of Forever."

Harlan Ellison's original script was unfilmable, at least for series TV in the 60s, but what was left after Gene Roddenberry's revisions was enough to make for a bonafide Star Trek masterpiece.

 Joan Collins guests as Kirk's Depression-era heartthrob Edith Keeler, a good samaritan who runs a mission for the homeless but,  as it turns out, must die in a traffic accident in order to prevent the timeline from being drastically altered.  

Kirk, naturally, must ensure that this happens--and, needless to say, he's torn between personal feelings and duty to humanity.  Dr. McCoy (DeForest Kelley), meanwhile,  gets to go nuts after an accidental overdose and end up causing the whole mess.



In addition to intense drama,  there are some memorable comedy bits including Kirk and Spock's run-in with a beat cop and Spock's attempts to blend in on early 20th-century Earth.

Probably the most tragic, downbeat, and powerful ending in the entire series.


Carrie Anne Betts: Absolutely!

Porfle Popnecker: A lot of Trekkers would probably choose this as THE best episode.

Carrie Anne Betts: I have a hard time rating things. This is at least in my top 2-3.

Nathan Baxter Simar: Boring ep.

Porfle Popnecker: I think you'd be in the minority on that!

Nathan Baxter Simar: I am amazed, but I can accept that. I never liked the eps where they time traveled.

Porfle Popnecker: You've never heard of what a highly revered episode this is among Trek fans? Especially followers of Ellison?

Nathan Baxter Simar: I don't care. I am honestly underwhelmed about it, and it wouldn't matter to me if the whole population of France had the other opinion.

Porfle Popnecker: There's a whole book about the evolution and history of the episode if you ever suddenly develop an interest in it.

Nathan Baxter Simar: Don't hold your breath.

Porfle Popnecker: I won't. Well, no more than usual.

Carrie Anne Betts: Ellison's a crotchety old man. I love him.

Porfle Popnecker: Me too, but I don't take his opinions seriously anymore.

John Comito: I'll have to catch this, not sure if I have but if I did it was too long ago.

Porfle Popnecker: I've probably seen it at least fifty times!

James Cole: Ellison's script was rewritten by Steven Carabastos (story editor), Gene Coon, D.C. Fontana, and Gene Roddenberry.

Porfle Popnecker: I knew Gene R. had a toe in there somewhere. Enough to share Harlan's wrath, anyway.

James Cole: This is why [you should read] THESE ARE THE VOYAGES. The chapter on "City" is one of the longest - the details and memos back and forth between Bob Justman and Roddenberry and others - amazing.

Porfle Popnecker: I'll ask Santy Claus for it!




Best "Star Trek: The Original Series" episode--"The Doomsday Machine"

My favorite episode of "Star Trek." Before we got to see starships getting smashed and crashed and exploded all the time, the wreckage of the U.S.S. Constellation was a shocking sight. (Also, having Norman Spinrad as the author wasn't too shabby.)

William Windom guests as Commodore Matt Decker, whose crew is wiped out by a planet-killing war machine left over from some ancient alien battle. He takes over the Enterprise and launches a reckless suicide attack while Kirk looks on helplessly from Decker's crippled ship, with Scotty working to get the engines running so they can intervene.

Windom gives a stellar performance with shades of both Ahab and Queeg, leading to powerful confrontations between his character and both Spock and Kirk. Some "iffy" SPFX, including shots using the actual plastic model kit of the Enterprise, now only add to the episode's retro charm.

The final countdown sequence, fueled by a magnificent Wagnerian musical score by Sol Kaplan, is the most exciting cliffhanger ending of any "Star Trek" episode.


Todd Frye: One of the best episodes. Dang it, you're making me want to go back and watch the whole series. There are a lot of episodes I haven't seen since I was a kid.

Nathan Baxter Simar: I like this one a lot, too.

James Cole: The producers originally wanted Robert Ryan but he wasn't available - lucky us. Windom was astonishing. In my top 5!

James Cole: "VEER OFF!"

Porfle Popnecker: Todd Frye -- no kidding, the only episode I have on DVD right now is the dour "Man Trap." James Cole -- that was a hard-earned veer-off, too! Robert Ryan would've been fascinating in the role, but I love William Windom.

James Cole: "If you do not veer off, I shall....blow my brains out." - Spock, from the Blooper Reel.

Porfle Popnecker: I remember how exciting it was getting to see the blooper reel!

James Cole: Me too. The blooper reels were a huge thrill back in the day.

Porfle Popnecker: I sent in for a blooper record album as well, but it was mostly just unfunny blown takes.

Harcourt Mudd: Commodore Decker is my style consultant, on my better groomed days.

Porfle Popnecker: He does seem to have "the look" down to a precise but still somehow casual science.

Fitz Fitzstephens: 

Porfle Popnecker: I loved that show! It's what turned me into a James Thurber fan!
   

Fitz Fitzstephens: We have much in common.

Paul Sanchez: Like several TREK episodes, the music WAS the scene burned to memory. Yes, that countdown march used in "Doomsday" (and a few others) was a fave.  Original Trek had so many well done music cues.

Porfle Popnecker: I have the musical score on cassette.

James Cole: Sol Kaplan's score is incredible - and like all the best scores for the show - themes were re-used and cues were "tracked" in later episodes.

Porfle Popnecker: Especially that distinctive "DUH-DUM, DUH-DUM, DUH-DUM"!



Porfle Popnecker: Even the transporter is given its own little theme (also reused later as in "Obsession"). And early on when Scotty's fooling around with some electronics that flare up, that gets its own musical flourish as well.

Bob Shell: I hated this episode.

Porfle Popnecker: No, you said you loved this one, remember?
    
Bob Shell: Oh, I thought this one was "The Dumbsday Machine." I liked this one, it was great.

Porfle Popnecker: No, that's what they would've called a "Simpsons" parody of it if they ever did one.


Thanks to everyone who participated in this discussion!

 

THE THREE BEST EPISODES OF "STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES" -- by Porfle

STAR TREK -- Movie Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 5/19/09

 

As a self-described "Trekker" since "Star Trek: The Original Series" first warped into syndication, the prospect of this movie inspired in me feelings of both keen anticipation and dread. For years, many of us Trek fans have wanted a movie about the Starfleet Academy days of the original crew, but we wanted it to be true to the spirit of "Star Trek" while adhering to established canon.

Nowadays, however, such sentiments are likely to cause you to be labeled a "diehard Trek supergeek" and berated for being such a dour spoilsport nitpicking over details instead of sitting back and letting this flashy new thing carry you off on a wave of giddy delirium. Well, I don't mind being called a geek, but when other geeks call me a geek, then they need to shut up. In other words, you really can't point out the mote of dust in someone else's eye if you have an action figure stuck in yours.

Anyway, I went to see director J.J. Abrams' big, new, glittering, pulsating, eye-popping STAR TREK (2009) movie today, and I must say first of all that it is a grandly entertaining cherry-red fire engine of a space flick. Watching it is like getting up on Christmas morning and finding out that Santa Claus really went all out on your house because you were extra good that year. There's an endless parade of stunningly imaginative set design, amazing special effects, and some action setpieces that made me glad sci-fi movies were invented. The new USS Enterprise looks great on the outside, and the bright, snazzy interiors felt like home after I had some time to settle into them.

Best of all, there was actually a story buzzing around amidst all these cool state-of-the-art visuals. It involves an enormous Romulan warship that has elements of both (a scaled down) V'ger from STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE and the Romulan warship "The Scimitar" from STAR TREK: NEMESIS, and a vengeful Romulan commander named Nero (Eric Bana) who is reminiscent of the vengeful Khan from STAR TREK: THE WRATH OF KHAN and the vengeful Romulan commander Shinzon from STAR TREK: NEMESIS. (An aside: the widely-reviled NEMESIS is one of my favorite Trek movies. Shows you what I know.) So basically, Nero is really pissed-off, he hates Earth, he hates Vulcan, he has a practically invincible starship that can travel through time and destroy worlds, and he's coming to get us. Check.

Meanwhile, we get to see young Kirk and Spock in their formative years, with Kirk a rebellious orphan born in battle and raised in Iowa, and Spock the half-Vulcan, half-human misfit who's unsure which path to take in life and must suffer discriminatory taunts from his full-Vulcan peers. Spock chooses to enter Starfleet (partly to spite the smug Vulcan tight-asses who patronizingly deem him fit to attend the Vulcan Science Academy despite his "inadequacies") while Kirk stumbles into it like a bull in a china closet.

We see Kirk cheating his way through that fabled Kobiyashi Maru test, meeting Spock under less-than-friendly circumstances, hitting on Uhura, and being whisked into a frantic mission to rescue the planet Vulcan from oblivion even though he's been suspended from duty, thanks to an obliging Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy. Once aboard the Enterprise, of course, it isn't long before the young hot-shot proves himself Alpha Male #1 and is sitting in the captain's chair. But first, he must get forcibly ejected from the Enterprise in an escape pod, meet both Scotty and the original Leonard Nimoy version of Spock on an ice planet, get beamed back aboard the Enterprise during warp, and fight to the near-death against Spock to prove the emotion-prone Vulcan unfit for command.

Just how much of this sticks to that pesky "Star Trek" canon that us diehard supergeeks are so nitpicky about becomes irrelevent as soon as the time travel factor enters the equation. Nimoy's "Spock Prime" is there to remind us that whatever happened between the moment the TV series first became a gleam in Gene Roddenberry's eye to the last time Patrick Stewart said "Make it so" is now part of a different timeline that has gone on its merry way into history. Thanks to the Romulan villain Nero and his temporal meddling, we now have a Star Trek universe in which most of the old characters are still there but in which anything can happen.

This rules out what many of us have wished for over the years--a retro-Trek origin story that accurately sets up the later adventures with a steadfast adherence to continuity--but maybe by this point it's not such a bad approach to take. I certainly don't like the idea of ignoring the old fans who have been loyal to Star Trek for all these decades and courting new ones who don't care about its history. Indeed, if it weren't for us the show would've died back in the late 60s and we wouldn't even be discussing it as a big-budget summer blockbuster here in the 21st century.

But after seeing this modern reboot, and being, frankly, dazzled by it, I must say that J.J. Abrams and company seem to have had the old fans well in mind every step of the way. There's an awful lot about this movie that can only be appreciated by viewers who are already familiar with the characters and their history. And seeing all the little details fall into place, even if the fit is a good deal different this time around, is a satisfying experience.

As a film, STAR TREK is killer entertainment that starts out with a bang and doesn't let up. The pre-titles sequence is awesome, with the USS Kelvin under the command of Captain George Kirk going up against Nero's ship in a hopelessly one-sided battle while his wife is in sickbay giving birth to their son James. Later, there's a thrilling parachute freefall involving Kirk and Sulu over the planet Vulcan which leads to aerial hand-to-hand combat atop a drilling platform suspended miles in the air. (In one of several nods to the original series, Sulu even gets to display his fencing prowess here.) The space battles which occur throughout the film are intense, action-packed, and beautifully rendered. And as in Spock's demise in WRATH OF KHAN and the destruction of the Enterprise in THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK, there are a couple of major death scenes here that are stunning and totally unexpected.

Perhaps the most important element in this film's success or failure is in the casting. Chris Pine captures the brash arrogance and boyish likability of James T. Kirk without doing a full-on Shatner impression, while Zachary Quinto seems to have been born to play the young Spock. Other actors--Zoe Saldana as Uhura, John Cho as Sulu, and Simon Pegg as Scotty--convey the essence of their characters while bearing little resemblance to their predecessors. As Pavel Chekov, Anton Yelchin manages to actually make me like the character for the first time ever, giving the proceedings a hefty dose of highly-effective comedy relief. Ben Cross and Winona Ryder aren't great as Spock's parents, but they're pretty good, and Bruce Greenwood makes a fine Captain Christopher Pike. Best of all, however, is Karl Urban as Leonard McCoy. He inhabits the role as though somehow possessed by the late DeForest Kelley, and it's a real pleasure to watch him forming an instant kinship with Kirk, developing his adversarial relationship with Spock, and saying things like "Dammit, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!" for the first time.

Somehow, though, I didn't find the film all that cathartic at the end. Maybe repeated viewings will change this, I don't know. It just didn't seem to do that "climax" and "denouement" thing as successfully as an adventure of this magnitude should, leaving me somewhat less than ecstatic after the fadeout. It could be that this hyperkinetic, visually intoxicating thrill ride lacked the kind of deep, emotional resonance that previous "Star Trek" movies have always had to one degree or another. Maybe these revamped characters and this rebooted universe are so new and unfamiliar that they aren't yet capable of making us feel the old magic. Maybe the emphasis on flash and sensation gives the whole enterprise a slightly superficial quality. Or, most likely, maybe we'll just have to wear this new pair of shoes for awhile before they start to feel as comfortable as the old ones.

STAR TREK -- Movie Review by Porfle

INALIENABLE -- DVD review by porfle

Originally posted on 12/23/09

 

 

"From the mind of Walter Koenig", erstwhile Ensign Chekov of the Starship Enterprise, comes INALIENABLE (2009), which starts out as a horror tale of a man who isn't quite sure whether he's carrying a deadly parasite or an alien offspring, and ends up itself resembling the unearthly lovechild of SyFy and Lifetime.

Research scientist Eric Norris (Richard Hatch, a veteran of both versions of "Battlestar Galactica") is trying to discover a cure for AIDS while dealing with the endless guilt caused by the death of his wife and son in a car crash in which he was driving. One day his friend brings him a piece of rock that broke off of an alien wessel--sorry, a meteor--that crashed on his property. Eric wakes up the next day to find that the rock has transformed into a jellyfish-like creature and invaded his body, nestling in a pouch-like protrusion over his left hip and sending tendrils throughout his body which intertwine with his vital organs.

It soon becomes apparent that Eric is "pregnant" with something, and when the FBI finds out about this potential alien threat, he must flee along with a sympathetic coworker, Amanda Mayfield (Courtney Peldon), who has fallen in love with him. After giving birth to the grotesque, tentacled baby (which he christens "Benjamin") in a barn, Eric and his new son are captured and placed under strict observation. Meanwhile, Amanda hooks up with a space-case civil rights lawyer named Ellis (Erick Avari) to help free Eric and allow him to have custody of Benjamin without government interference. This results in a courtroom drama in which Benjamin's humanity, or lack thereof, is in bitter dispute.

INALIENABLE begins with all the elements of early David Cronenberg body horror, but that all changes as soon as the proud dad gets a gander at his new butt-ugly baby with the octopus tentacles and goes all sappy. After that it's all tears and hugs and courtroom intrigue designed to tug at our heartstrings. When Eric and Benjamin are reunited in a holding cell under the watchful eyes of coldhearted government types, their impromptu Charlie Chaplin dance will either make you smile or retch. Most interesting is the battle of wits between the two lawyers over Benjamin's basic "human" rights, bringing to mind similar questions about robot sentience as seen on some of the best episodes of shows like "Star Trek" and "The Outer Limits."


Richard Hatch sells his character convincingly and makes his scenes with Courtney Peldon seem a little lopsided by consistently out-acting her. Koenig, as Eric's boss and eventual enemy (for reasons we discover later on), proves that he's a pretty solid screen presence himself when he isn't having to portray the biggest weenie in Starfleet. Special credit goes to Marina Sirtis for her impressive turn as the queen-bitch prosecutor, a far cry from ST:TNG's compassionate Deanna Troi. Other familiar sci-fi faces pop up here and there throughout the story, including Alan Ruck and Tim Russ (both alumni of different Trek incarnations), Richard Herd, Gary Graham, Jay Acovone, Erick Avari, and longtime sci-fi/horror stalwart and stuntwoman Patricia Tallman ("Babylon 5", "Star Trek", the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD remake).

Production values are adequate but rather spartan, and Robert Dyke directs without a whole lot of energy. The film is low-key to the point of timidity, as though it were aware that someone was taking a nap in the next room and didn't want to wake them up. Some of the courtroom scenes are undercut by the constant drone of strangely soothing music which seems intent on lulling us to sleep ourselves. Worse, Amanda's first meeting with lawyer Ellis is accompanied by an intrusively whimsical tune that lets us know Ellis is supposed to be a funny character, even though he isn't funny.

The alien SPFX aren't very convincing, although it's nice to see something like this done with animatronics and puppetry rather than cheap CGI for a change. The newborn infant is a nicely-rendered creation that's somewhat reminiscent of the baby in ERASERHEAD. Later, the older Benjamin's makeup makes him look more like an aged midget than a cute little alien child, and the less said about his bobbling tentacles the better. Again, however, Richard Hatch does such a good job of interacting with this weird little gremlin that he manages to give their scenes together a surprising amount of pathos.

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen with Dolby Surround 2.0 and English subtitles. The sole extra is a trailer, but if you zip to the end of the closing credits you get to see Walter Koenig cutting up on the set for about half a minute.

INALIENABLE's heart is in the right place and for the most part it's a fairly absorbing though slow-moving little sci-fi tale. The first half, with its potentially horrific imagery of an unknown alien lifeform incubating inside a human host, would be good fodder for a Cronenberg film or episode of "The X-Files." The second half, though, is a rather listless stroll through KRAMER VS. KRAMER territory with an ending that fails to generate much tension or suspense. All in all, an amiable little flick that I can neither condemn nor recommend with much enthusiasm.

INALIENABLE -- DVD review by porfle