HK and Cult Film News's Fan Box

Thursday, December 29, 2022

I AM DIVINE -- DVD review by porfle



 Originally posted on 4/2/14

 

I can't remember where I first heard about "Pink Flamingos" and its outrageous drag-queen star Divine--probably Danny Peary's book "Cult Movies"--but back in 1981 when I got my first VCR and started ordering movies on tape (owning a movie on VHS in those days was both exciting and expensive) that infamous John Waters film was one of them. 

And it didn't disappoint.  Outrageous?  The crudely-filmed paean to filth oozed with one outrage after another, culminating in Divine's most unforgettable act ever--eating dog poop, for real, right there in the final closeup. How, I wondered, does a person get  to that point as an actor, as a personality, and as a human being?  I knew quite a bit about the movie, but who was Divine?

I AM DIVINE (2013), a documentary by filmmaker Jeffrey Schwarz ("Spine Tingler! The William Castle Story"), sets out to answer this question in entertaining and fairly informative fashion.  With friends and acquaintances supplying the voiceover along with archival comments from Divine, we get the straight story (so to speak) along with tons of film and video footage presented in a pleasing animation-enhanced visual style. 


Being familiar as most of us are with Divine the flamboyant star (to put it mildly), my main interest was finding out about the person behind the character.  I AM DIVINE satisfies this curiosity by telling us the story of a lonely, introverted boy named Harris Glenn Milstead, whose childhood in Baltimore was a daily ordeal of getting mocked and beaten up for being different. 

Not openly gay--that would come later--Glenn was, as his family doctor warned his mother Frances,  a very effeminate boy.  Besides attending Sunday School, his interests lie in hairstyling, clothes, and, as he discovered while preparing to attend a costume party with his then-girlfriend Diane Evans, dressing up like a girl. 

This would later lead to his entry in various drag contests,  but while the competition busied themselves trying to emulate female appearance and behavior, Glenn's goal was to exaggerate it to the extreme. He didn't want to be a woman, but a bizarre caricature of one which would allow him to flaunt his own suppressed personality traits in public with no inhibitions. 


In a low-key,  matter-of-fact style, this film guides us through the various milestones of Glenn's life including his fateful meeting with aspiring underground filmmaker John Waters when both were teenagers.  Rare photographs and film footage recount the evolution of the Divine character, a collaboration between Glenn, John Waters, and makeup man Van Smith, and his appearance in early Waters films such as "The Diane Linkletter Story", "Mondo Trasho", and "Multiple Maniacs."  It was Smith who gave Divine his most distinctive feature--the partially-shaved hairline with grotesquely exaggerated eyebrows and eye makeup. 

Clips from Waters' early magnum opus "Pink Flamingos" include a behind-the-scenes view of the celebrated dog-poop finale in which they were forced to follow the dog around for hours waiting for it to perform as planned.  The documentary cuts away at precisely the fateful moment, presumably in order to avoid an X-rating, but it's still interesting hearing Divine and others talk about what it was like doing it and the effect it had on audiences at the time.  (As for me,  I can no longer watch the actual scene without gagging.)

Later, as one might guess, Divine would come to view such infamy as both a blessing and a curse which hindered his aspirations as an actor.  Meanwhile, however, we see his meteoric rise to underground super-stardom and cult worship with smash international appearances as a disco singer and stage actor. 

He also enjoyed subsequent successes in Waters' "Female Trouble" (described as the filmmaker's "Gone With the Wind") and later entries into the mainstream such as "Polyester" with Tab Hunter, the wildly popular "Hairspray" with Ricki Lake, and a non-Waters cult comedy-western "Lust in the  Dust" with Hunter and Lainie Kazan.


Inevitably, the documentary begins to reveal how overindulgence in drugs (he was a self-described "pot head") and food, along with a generally unhealthy lifestyle, would put Divine on the road to an early demise.  The tragic irony is that this occurs just as his career is hitting its peak and he has made a happy reconciliation with his parents.  Frances Milstead's own wistful recollections of her son Glenn give I AM DIVINE much of its heart and allow us to see the human being behind Divine's garish fascade.

John Waters fills in a lot of the blanks with his own personal stories, as do Divine friends and co-stars Mink Stole, Susan Lowe, Diane Evans, Ricki Lake, Tab Hunter, Lisa Jane Persky, and several others.  Among those appearing in archival footage are David Lochary, Van Smith, and Edith Massey. Several interview clips of Glenn Milstead himself reveal him to be a thoughtful, soft-spoken man who wanted to be accepted on his own rather than being forever identified with his fictional counterpart. 

The DVD from Wolfe Video is widescreen with 5.1 and 2.0 sound.  Subtitles are in English.  Extras include a commentary track featuring director Schwarz, producer Lotti Pharriss Knowles, and actress Mink Stole, along with trailers for this and other gay and lesbian-related films from Wolfe Video.

With copious amounts of footage showcasing Divine's wilder side, including shaking his massive flab onstage in halter tops and G-strings, famously getting raped by a giant lobster in "Multiple Maniacs", and (my favorite) strutting his stuff down the main drag of Baltimore in "Pink Flamingos" while actual bystanders gape in open-mouthed astonishment, I AM DIVINE should satisfy viewers who are interested only in the more freakish aspects of the immortal underground star's persona.  But its main accomplishment for me is the non-sensationalistic way in which it presents Harris Glenn Milstead as a basically decent person who was loved by many and fondly remembered by many more.



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Sunday, December 25, 2022

ATHENA: GODDESS OF WAR -- Blu-Ray/DVD review by porfle



 

Originally posted on 10/25/12

 

Like most feature-length condensations of a TV series or serial, Funimation's ATHENA: GODDESS OF WAR hits the high points of this action-packed Korean television series (which ran for one season in 2010) while skipping lightly over characterization. 

The film opens with a bang as agents of a Korean anti-terror task force called NTS (National Anti-Terrorist Service) infiltrate a high society party in full formal attire and end up pretty much blowing it all to hell.  Here we meet agents Lee Jung-Woo (Woo-sung Jung) and the beautiful but deadly Yoon Hye-In (Soo Ae, THE SWORD WITH NO NAME), who, in due course, will complicate their working relationship by falling in love.

But that's not the half of it, because Hye-In is a double agent also working for the bad guys--a terrorist group called Athena--and is also in love with their ruthless leader, Son Hyuk (Seung-won Cha).  To make matters worse, Hyuk has managed to become the head of an American intelligence group ostensibly working with NTS to prevent the kidnapping of nuclear scientist Dr. Kim, currently on the verge of completing work on a vital nuclear reactor.

With just shy of two hours' running time, ATHENA: GODDESS OF WAR dispenses with the finer points of all this drama and concentrates on two things--the doomed romantic triangle between Jung-Woo, Son Hyuk, and the lovely Hye-In, and lots and lots of action.  The former tends to get a bit sappy at times, especially with Jung-Woo and Hye-In basking in the romance of Italy between assignments and a drawn-out ending which stops just short of being maudlin.  Soo Ae does play her tortured indecision between the two men quite well--even while she's kicking bad-guy ass, we sense her emotional anguish.  (All of the lead performances, in fact, are fine.)

And kick ass she does, with the able help of the film's three directors and its nimble editors piecing together rapid-fire camera shots into coherent fight scenes.  Direction is sleek and brisk, giving these made-for-TV action sequences a pleasing feature-film veneer that is enhanced by some exhilarating location photography.

Various suspenseful situations such as the kidnapping of the Korean president's daughter or Dr. Kim himself lead to extended battle sequences filled with bullets, explosions, and gritty hand-to-hand combat.  The film occasionally drags as we keep ending up back at NTS headquarters for numerous briefings and other exposition, but the next stimulating shoot 'em up, car stunt, or chase scene is never far away.  Needless to say, all of this leads up to Athena's final and most devastating terrorist attempt yet, with our heroes risking life and limb to stop it.

The Blu-Ray/DVD combo from Funimation is in 16x9 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 Korean and English soundtracks (subtitles in English).  Extras consist of a trailer and previews of other Funimation titles.

There's nothing chintzy about this TV-derived feature, although the necessity of hitting the high points of an entire season's story arc (while understandably concentrating on the more action-oriented stuff) tends to render things a bit superficial.  Still, while not entirely memorable, ATHENA: GODDESS OF WAR is quite an enjoyable way for fans of Bond-style espionage exploits to be entertained for a couple of hours.





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Saturday, December 24, 2022

HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD -- DVD review by porfle

 Originally posted on 3/2/10
 
 
Fred Olen Ray's Retromedia does it again with HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD, another lighthearted soft-porn romp in the vein of BIKINI FRANKENSTEIN and TWILIGHT VAMPS. This time, the story which serves as a connective tissue for the numerous sex scenes is flimsier than ever, but ultimately that doesn't really matter all that much, does it? 
 
The movie opens, unsurprisingly enough, in the bedroom of Max (Frankie Cullen) and Karen (Heather Vandeven), but that's not Karen whom Max is having furious simulated sex with--it's their ditzy neighbor, Rita (Rebecca Love). 
 
Nicely intercut with this are shots of a meteor headed for a fiery rendezvous with Earth--the simple CGI looks pretty good--which might serve as a metaphor for the fact that Karen is coming home early from a business trip. When she discovers Max and Rita in bed together, she's furious. Rita, we find, was told that Karen had been killed in a freak skateboard accident and that Max needed to be held. 
 
Karen grabs a bottle of Jack and angrily stomps out into the desert behind their house, where she finds the pieces of the fallen meteor. One of the shards shoots a jolt of energy into her head, transferring an alien entity into her body. 
 
Seemingly morphed into a Stepford wife, Karen cheerfully forgives Max and Rita. But she secretly has a new mission--find the plans for a top-secret galaxy-probing satellite that Max is working on for the government and destroy them before Earth discovers her home planet, which will lead to an intergalactic war. (How? It doesn't matter.) 
 
Meanwhile, Max's competitors at work, Tom (Tony Marino) and Carla (Christine Nguyen), are busy trying to steal the plans themselves so they can take credit for them. Using meteor shards in the form of necklaces, Karen zaps Carla and Rita with more alien entities. Their mission, however, is put on hold when the intoxicating carnal sensations of their new human bodies drive them to engage in lots and lots of sex. Betcha didn't see that coming. 
 
 
As in the rest of these Retromedia sex farces, HOUSEWIVES is capably directed and looks really good for its low budget, with a pleasant musical score. Best of all, however, is the fact that the lead castmembers not only look terrific but aren't bad actors, either. Frankie Cullen and Tony Marino continue to display a deft comic sense that sets them apart from the average leering stud muffin, while Christine Nguyen's sex appeal is matched by her own skills in this area. Too bad this particular script doesn't give them much of a chance to be funny. 
 
Heather Vandeven looks about as good as you'd expect a Penthouse Pet of the Year to look and is quite enthusiastic in her sex scenes. (It appears as though she's using the famous Stanislavski method in her shower scene.) My favorite, though, is the adorable and delightfully buxom Rebecca Love, who has now joined my list of future wives which will go into effect just as soon as I become a billionaire playboy and bigamy is decriminalized. 
 
Rounding out the supporting cast are Ted Newsom as Max's boss Mr. Roberts--Ted plays a normal person for a change, and is surprisingly adept at it--and Ron Ford as the shady foreign-type (he wears a fez) who schemes to purchase the satellite blueprints from a debt-plagued Tom. Both actors bring a certain substance to their roles which adds a little weight to this otherwise paper-thin story.
The DVD from Retromedia and Infinity is widescreen with Dolby Digital sound. Extras consist of trailers for this and several other Retromedia releases. 
 
As an entry in Retromedia's growing list of sci-fi and horror-tinged softcore sex comedies, HOUSEWIVES FROM ANOTHER WORLD is extremely light on the comedy and story elements (though it does have a slight ZONTAR vibe at times). But with acres of bare skin on display and a cast that performs like Energizer bunnies at the drop of a hat, it's definitely fun to look at.

 

 


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Thursday, December 22, 2022

HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (1965) -- Movie Review by Porfle

 


Originally posted on 5/21/21

 

I've always loved the American-International "Beach Party" series, and I always will. This gives you a good idea of the overall tenor of my assessment of HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI (Olive Films, 1965). As for WHY I love these movies so much, well...err...uhh...

To be honest, a lot of people will hate this movie and others like it, and, as far as they're concerned, rightfully so. It's a supremely silly slapstick sex farce with the lowest teen denominator in mind, and it was made to shower undiscerning audiences with brightly-colored pop culture confetti made up of whatever seemed like it might appeal to them, including girls in bikinis, bikes, surfing, jangly rock 'n' roll, cartoonish action, really corny jokes, and cameo appearances by faces familiar to both the younger and older generations.

All of which is why I find these movies to be such irresistible fun--because that's all they try to be, and in their own stupefying way, they succeed.  It helps if you're a fan of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello (I am), two of the most appealing young stars of the 60s, and enjoy occasionally turning off your mind, relaxing, and floating downstream. It is not dying, even though some might feel that way about it.

 


This time, Frankie's serving six weeks of naval reserve duty in Tahiti, separating him from Annette and tempting him to indulge in the local "social scene." Even so, he expects Annette (as "Dee Dee") to be faithful to him back there in Malibu, so he enlists the help of witch doctor Bwana Chicky Baby (none other than the venerable Buster Keaton, whose assistants include the beautiful Irene Tsu and Bobbi Shaw) to help him keep an eye on her with the help of a magical pelican.

Bwana Chicky Baby also plans to divert the beach boys' attention away from Annette by creating the perfect woman, who appears to everyone first as an empty leopard skin bikini. The great John Ashley (HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER, FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER), an American-International mainstay doing beach duty for the studio, then gets to croon the title song before the bikini is suddenly filled by the gorgeous Cassandra (Beverly Adams).

In short order, a nattily-dressed Mickey Rooney and Dwayne Hickman show up as big business types looking for the "girl next door" to accompany Dwayne in a motorcycle race which Mickey hopes will improve the image of cyclists (an image that Eric Von Zipper and his bumbling biker gang do their best to sully when they show up and Eric falls in love with Cassandra).

 


 

 
Dwayne, against Mickey's wishes, falls for Annette, who plays hard to get as usual while the magic pelican keeps watch over their activities for the absent Frankie.  And thus the film's main action is established with lots of romantic complications and slapstick nonsense until the big bike race, which turns the final quarter of the film into a live-action cartoon that's like a cross between "Wacky Races" and "Road Runner."

This is the seventh film in A-I's "Beach Party" series (if you count "Pajama Party" and "Ski Party") and by this time the concept was starting to wind down. The next related films would be SERGEANT DEADHEAD and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, then one more "bikini" movie, the financial flop THE GHOST IN THE INVISIBLE BIKINI. After that, the emphasis would be on stock car racing with FIREBALL 500 and THUNDER ALLEY.

But there's still fun to be had with this formula if it strikes your fancy as it does mine. Annette is just as appealing a fantasy girlfriend as ever, and gets to sing a couple of songs (one with The Kingsmen as her backup band) while fending off Dwayne Hickman's romantic overtures.


 

Rooney seems to be having a good time spoofing HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING (his character's name, J. Peachmont Keane, is a variation of that play's J. Pierpont Finch). He even participates in some of the many musical numbers that keep cropping up at the darndest times.

Most of the silliness comes from Harvey Lembeck's familiar Eric Von Zipper and his gang of "stupids", with "Seinfeld" regular Len "Uncle Leo" Lesser turning up as their cohort in crime, the evil North Dakota Pete.  The bike race finale throws any semblance of coherence or sanity to the winds, making the old Looney Tunes cartoons look like models of adult sophistication in comparison.

In addition to the great Keaton and Rooney, the film offers supporting roles and cameos from the likes of Brian Donlevy as Rooney's boss B.D. "Big Deal" McPherson and director William Asher's wife at the time, "Bewitched" star Elizabeth Montgomery, as (what else?) a witch. Frankie, by this time, was demanding more money and is relegated to just a few "Tahiti" scenes.  Annette, bless her heart, is just as wonderful as ever.

 

 


Will Dwayne and Annette win the big race instead of the devious Von Zipper and Cassandra?  Will Annette finally forget her vow to stay faithful to the unfaithful Frankie and give in to Dwayne's advances? Will the rest of the boys (including Jody McCrea's "Bonehead") forget hypnotic Cassandra and return their attention to the rest of the jealousy-inflamed girls? Will John Ashley sing another awful song? Will Mickey Rooney finish doing whatever it is that he's doing?

If you couldn't care less, there are probably a lot of other people who feel exactly the same way you do. I don't care that much myself, but as a lifelong beach movie lover, I sure do have a great time watching movies like HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI anyway. It's the ultimate in light entertainment, and if you take it lightly enough, the rational part of your brain will enjoy the vacation.  



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Tuesday, December 20, 2022

THE JAIL: THE WOMEN'S HELL -- DVD Review by Porfle



Originally posted on 9/27/15

 

No padding, no filler--just a solid wall-to-wall slab of pure, undiluted exploitation, dripping with sex, violence, and horror from start to finish.  That's THE JAIL: THE WOMEN'S HELL (2006), one of schlock superstar Bruno Mattei's final films and, from what I've seen, one of his most gleefully sadistic and extreme. 

This steamy mish-mash of elements from women-in-prison flicks mixed with a little poor man's PAPILLON by way of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME begins with three hapless female prisoners being transferred by boat to a remote jungle prison in the Philippines. 

Carol (Amelie Pontailler) killed her pimp, Lisa (Love Gutierrez) trafficked in "dirty things with dirty people", and Jennifer (Mattei veteran Yvette Yzon of ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD and ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING in her first starring role), brags of having done a little of everything.


When they get to the prison camp they find a hellhole of sadism and brutality in which the trollish warden (Odette Khan), who looks like a female cross between Paul Giamatti and the guy from TIMECRIMES, is either torturing the inmates or renting them out to the Governor of the island (Jim Gaines, also of ISLAND OF THE LIVING DEAD and ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING) as sex slaves in his nightclub-slash-brothel. 

The prison scenes yield the expected sensationalism including copious amounts of nudity--with a shower scene or two that would launch the slobbering pervs from PORKY'S into orbit--and the inevitable lesbianism, along with constant physical and mental abuse from the warden and her sadistic guards.  Chief among the latter is the constantly screaming Juana, played with singleminded intensity by Vanessa Bolabas in a gloriously one-note performance. 

The Governor's palace of carnal sin offers even more perversion with his customers, as vile a bunch of freaks as ever portrayed on film, using and abusing the more attractive prisoners such as Jennifer during all sorts of rapey activities, one of which involves a full-grown python. 


It's during the biggest and most elaborate of these sex parties that Jennifer and the others, including her new friend Monica (Dyane Craystan, ZOMBIES: THE BEGINNING) plan their big escape.  (This, by the way, comes after Jennifer has bargained to have Monica removed from a partially-submerged bamboo cage full of rats a la THE DEER HUNTER which she shared with several half-eaten corpses.) 

Unfortunately, the girls leap right from the frying pan into the fire when their escape attempt becomes a human hunting party, with the Governor's friends tracking them down like animals and disposing of them in horrific ways.  This is where Bruno Mattei goes all out to shock, horrify, and generally test our tolerance for graphic screen violence against a bunch of hapless damsels in distress. 

Gorehounds who live for this kind of stuff should be in hog heaven at this point, while the more easily offended--well, let's face it, I really doubt if the more easily offended are going to still be watching after the first five minutes.  Some viewers will find this sequence easier to endure by looking forward to the girls finally turning the tables on their tormentors, including that bitch-troll of a warden and her goons back at the prison. 


Bruno Mattei (under his "Vincent Dawn" pseudonym) puts the whole thing across in relatively capable fashion, displaying some of his best directorial skills and camerawork that I've seen so far.  Production values are fairly good thanks in part to some well-chosen locations, with a musical score that sounds as though it could've been written by Brian May.

As for the cast, Yzon and Craystan are the standouts, while the actresses playing the warden and head guard Juana are a hoot.  Anyone else playing a bad guy in this movie does so in such cartoonish, googly-eyed terms that even D.W. Griffith would tell them to tone it down.

The DVD from Intervision is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of an interview with Yvette Yzon and Alvin Anson on "Acting With Bruno", a talk with THE JAIL's producer Giovanni Paolucci and co-writer Antonio Tentori ("Prison Inferno"), and the film's trailer. 


Mattei died in 2007, a year after this film was made, but he left behind a filmography packed with some of the most outlandish, mindboggling, and just plain nasty exploitation thrillers ever made.  And if that sounds good to you, then THE JAIL: THE WOMEN'S HELL serves up a heapin' helping of it with all the trimmings. 

Buy it at Amazon.com
Street date: October 13, 2015


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Monday, December 19, 2022

CRIES OF PLEASURE -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle




 Originally posted on 2/19/20

 

I guess I've seen about a dozen or so of the many films directed by Jesus "Jess" Franco (VAMPYROS LESBOS, SHE KILLED IN ECSTASY, COUNT DRACULA)  during his prolific career. And while nowhere near the expert many of his fans are, I can say that one never knows quite what to expect from him.

It all depends on Franco's budget, collaborators, various other factors, and, most of all, whatever mood he happened to be in when undertaking a particular project.

With CRIES OF PLEASURE (1983), Franco must have felt like skirting the boundary between two familiar themes: the twisty intrigue tale with elements of murder and betrayal, and the softcore sex romp in which he could indulge his penchant for long, meandering passages with naked people exploring each other's...well, long meandering passages.


It begins a bit like SUNSET BOULEVARD, with one of the main characters already floating dead in a swimming pool. The narrator, ironically, is a simple-minded mute named Fenul (Juan Cózar) whose only job is to wander around the mountaintop Spanish villa strumming on the guitar to provide background music for his master, Antonio (Robert Foster).

Antonio, a wealthy, arrogant young playboy, has a live-in lover and maid named Marta (Jasmina Bell) who later claims to have been raped by him at age 12 but remains desperately in love with him and serves as a sex slave.

Meanwhile, his beautiful houseguest Julia (Franco's longtime muse Lina Romay, THE HOT NIGHTS OF LINDA, SINFONIA EROTICA, TWO FEMALE SPIES WITH FLOWERED PANTIES) is about to meet his equally lovely wife Martina (Rocío Freixas, THE SINISTER EYES OF DR. ORLOFF), who that very day is being released from an insane asylum.


That's just about all the set-up the director needs to get cracking on yet another torrid tale of lurid lust and maniacal madness, all of which will commence right after the characters are all properly introduced and thrown into a succession of those long, meandering passages.

These are all shot in very extended takes as the camera lingers artlessly but intently over various combinations of nude, writhing bodies while occasionally wandering out the window to take in some of the Spanish oceanfront scenery.

The sex itself is technically softcore but sometimes threatens to cross the boundary into hardcore. As with many sequences of this kind, things tend to get monotonous (I've personally gotten to the point where I find just about all sex scenes boring), although Lina Romay's many fans will certainly have a visual field day here.


What makes CRIES OF PLEASURE more than just another sexploitation flick, however, is the queasy undercurrent of sadism, perversion, and ultimately murder that pervades it all. 

At least one participant in all this carnal decadence will be tortured to death, and somebody plans to murder someone else before it's all over.

While the extended sex scenes are furiously performed and at least marginally erotic, the most worthwhile thing about it all (for me, anyway) is how Franco's barebones plot, based on the writings of the Marquis de Sade, is revealed to us in broad, deliberate strokes that keep us attentively waiting for its resolution.

When CRIES OF PLEASURE does hit that final chord, it's just kinky and off-kilter enough to elicit a sigh of satisfaction that we've made it through yet another unpredictable Jess Franco fever dream with the feeling that, somehow, it has been time rather well spent.


Special Features:

    In The Land Of Franco Part 1: Stephen Thrower Tours Multiple Franco Locations in Portugal
    When Donald Met Jess and Lina Part 1: Filmmaker Donald Farmer Interviews the Power Couple in 1993
    Jess Franco’s Golden Years: Interview with Stephen Thrower, Author of ‘Murderous Passions & Flowers of Perversion – The Delirious Cinema of Jesús Franco’




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Thursday, November 10, 2022

THE BEAST IN HEAT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle




Originally posted on 6/23/19

 

I guess somebody had to try and outdo ILSA, SHE-WOLF OF THE SS, and director Luigi Batzella does his darndest with the horrendous Nazisploitation shocker THE BEAST IN HEAT (Severin Films, 1977), a film so irredeemably vile at times that some scenes might even make Dyanne Thorne's legendary blonde torture tart drop her jaw on the floor with a hollow thud.

Macha Magall (THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRUSOE, CASA PRIVITA PER LA SS) plays Dr. Ellen Kratsch, a Nazi scientist whose inhuman gene experiments have turned a once-human test subject into a big, hairy, slobbering troll monster (Sal Boris) who loves it when a beautiful naked woman is tossed into his cage so that he can rape her to death in the most horrific and savagely animalistic manner imaginable (and yes, that includes cannibalism).


I forgot exactly what scientific purpose this serves, but we're talking about the Nazis here so anything goes. Which it does, with all manner of other atrocities going on in Dr. Ellen's laboratory involving captured members of the Italian anti-Nazi underground and their hapless loved ones in an effort to dissuade the group from its disruptive activities. 

If you've seen ILSA, just imagine it as a warm-up for what happens in this super-sordid nightmare of depravity which, if you're like me, will have you on edge waiting for the director to cut away to something else, which he doesn't do.

Meanwhile, the deceptively sweet-looking SS sadist (the delicately-featured Macha Magall as the inhuman torturess is a striking study in contrast) presides gleefully over it all and even takes an active part in the sexual torment of various male prisoners.  Giving what is probably the best performance in the movie, Magall's supremely evil villainess is a real piece of work.


While all this goes on, there's actually an attempt to put on a somewhat normal war movie elsewhere in a nearby Italian village where the underground rebels are trying to rescue their innocent women and children from the clutches of the Nazis. 

It's a rather pedestrian narrative that's directed, as is most of the movie, in an entirely no-frills fashion (but with lovely rustic Italian settings) and, despite overripe acting and some comically bad dubbing, features some fairly exciting and well-staged battle sequences that I found pretty entertaining.

Even here, however, there's the occasional overlap with the other half of the movie, meaning that when the Nazis move into town to round up the women and children, we're treated to more horrors (babies used as target practice, young girls molested and executed) while our main good-guy underground hero is hauled into Dr. Ellen's lab to be subjected to her most perversely sadistic seduction. 


And thus we see the schizophrenic nature of the film, with Nazisploitation at its most extreme (it truly wallows in the deep end of depravity) rubbing shoulders with a rather earnest little war movie that even has its cloyingly sentimental moments. 

But it's that incredible, gibbering human warthog of a rape monster that will really separate those who run screaming from THE BEAST IN HEAT and those who settle in to see if they can endure it.




Buy it from Severin Films

Release date: June 25, 2019
Scanned from 35mm negative elements

Special Features:

    Fascism On A Thread – The Strange Story of Nazisploitation Cinema: A new feature length documentary featuring interviews with Dyanne ‘Ilsa’ Thorne, Malissa ‘Elsa’ Longo, Filmmakers Sergio Garrone, Mariano Caiano, Rino Di Silvestro, Liliana Cavani, Bruno Mattei and many more.
    Nazi Nasty: Interview with Stephen Thrower, Author of MURDEROUS PASSIONS
    Trailer








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Wednesday, November 9, 2022

THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO -- DVD Review by Porfle



Originally posted on 5/29/32

 

Recently I've begun to develop a perverse enjoyment of extremely cheesy 70s and 80s television shows that I wouldn't have been caught dead watching during their first run. Curious to test my newfound ability to withstand anything the likes of Aaron Spelling could launch at me, I was eager to take on one of the all-time undisputed champeens of cheese, "The Love Boat." So as soon as I got my mitts on the new four-disc, 12-episode DVD collection THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, it was on, baby! DING!

Actually, once you resign yourself to how silly and totally corny it all is, the show isn't that hard to like at all. If you're looking for "Playhouse 90", you're on the wrong boat. And who doesn't want to spend a little time on a cruise ship with a fun-loving crew and dozens of pop culture icons gettin' it on with each other? As one of the first and best of these "Grand Hotel"-style multi-plot, multi-guest star shows, "The Love Boat" is simply a boatload of dumb fun.

The first episode alone features none other than Abe Vigoda and Nancy Walker sharing romantic dialogue on deck with a scenic sunset in the background. Also representing the older set in later episodes are: Ray "Scarecrow" Bolger and Martha "Poli-Grip" Raye as high-school sweethearts who haven't seen each other in forty years; Arthur Godfrey and Minnie Pearl as eloping lovebirds on the run from their overprotective offspring (Elinor Donahue and Warren Berlinger); and Barry Nelson and Nanette Fabray as an empty-nest couple whose plans for a round-the-world vacation are deep-sixed by news of a surprise package.

 



One of the best of the show's December-December flings takes place when rich widow Celeste Holm winds up on the same cruise with her vacationing chauffeur, John Mills, and they discover that they're in love with each other. The awkward situation builds to a romantic crescendo (with that same sunset in the background) which actually has some pretty decent writing for a change, and a couple of seasoned actors with the talent to turn it into something substantial. The director goes in for some tight closeups in this scene because he knows that old pros Holm and Mills are working this material for all it's worth.

On the flip-side, where things are just plain goofy, we get Ron "Horshack" Palillo as a magician filling in for his brother in the ship's lounge and falling for his pretty assistant (Melinda Naud), who, incredibly, returns his affections. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara play harried parents who can't get any private time away from their gaggle of brats, including a fledgling Corey Feldman. Roddy McDowell, surely one of the most ubiquitous actors of all time, plays a constantly sneezing dweeb who discovers he's allergic to his demanding bride-to-be Tammy Grimes. We also get to witness the startling sight of "Match Game" stars Gene Rayburn and Fannie Flagg sucking face like there's no tomorrow while her yappy little dog (the specially-billed "Cricket") tries to come between them. And...omigod...Charo. 'Nuff said.

The biggest surprise is that I didn't remember how serious some of these stories could get. We're talking actual soap-opera-level melodrama here. A man (Randy Mantooth) introduces his girlfriend (Cathy Lee Crosby) to his dad (Robert Mandan)...the girlfriend and the dad fall in love...the son blows his top and dad slaps him! Elsewhere, Craig Stevens is a WWII vet wounded on Omaha Beach, suddenly reunited after all these years with the only woman he ever loved (Cyd Charisse), only to find her attached to some young French stud named Francoise. This is classic "women's picture" stuff just like all the studios were churning out back in the 40s and 50s.

 



Even when Sonny Bono guests as Deacon Dark, a ludicrous cross between Alice Cooper and Gene Simmons, it's played mainly for bathos because Sonny really wants to be a lounge singer (despite resistance from his materialistic manager, Arte Johnson). This is compounded when he meets a cute deaf girl who falls for the real Sonny and "listens" to his sensitive ivory-tinking by feeling the vibrations in his piano. Talk about laying it on with a trowel--you gotta love it!

Gavin McLeod plays Captain Stubing, the distinguished and very proper main man of the Love Boat, and it's nice to see McLeod in a successful starring role after all those years as a second banana on shows like "McHale's Navy" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Too bad he's usually the straight man for his wacky underlings here, since he was always pretty adept at comedy himself. He does get his share of dramatic subplots and sappy love affairs, as evidenced by this hair-curling exchange:

"Hey, hey...eyes as lovely as yours shouldn't be clouded with tears."
"You say the nicest things."
"Only to the nicest people."

Future four-term Iowa congressman Fred Grandy is Yeoman-Purser "Gopher" Smith, easily the biggest idiot on the ship. Gopher takes center stage in some of the silliest stories, as when his supermodel dreamgirl (the always delightful Hayley Mills) comes aboard and he retreats into a Walter Mitty-style fantasy world, or the one in which he overhears a couple of murder-mystery writers (Peter Lawford, Dana Wynter) discussing their next book and thinks they're planning to kill the Captain. Surprisingly, the season finale features Gopher in one of the most dramatic scenes of the whole set when he has an extremely emotional reconciliation with his estranged father (Bob Cummings).

The concept of Bob Cummings and a Godzilla-like Ethel Merman playing Gopher's parents is almost too much to bear, as is the big finale with father and son crooning a comedy version of "Sonny Boy" to each other during the crew's "Talent Night" show. And yet, like everything else that happens on this series, I feel compelled to watch. I guess it's just one of the mysteries of life.

 



As Isaac, the ship's bartender with the chipper attitude and big kid smile, Ted Lange is one of the brightest performers on the show. Isaac is always there to help the passengers get sloppy drunk and to dole out helpful advice when they unload their sob stories on him. I like the episode where Isaac's old friend Reggie Jackson books passage to get away from all the constant fan adoration, only to have his ego crushed when nobody on board recognizes him. But even Isaac has his serious side, which we see when he tries to help a troubled young girl who's a convicted shoplifter by getting her a job in the gift shop. Sure enough, a pair of expensive pearl earrings turn up missing.

Bernie Kopell as ship's medic "Doc" Bricker is another TV veteran who excels at light comedy while also handling some pretty bleak material, such as the episode in which his old surgeon friend (Richard Anderson) is dealing with the loss of an arm in a car crash while his wife (Diana Muldaur), stricken with guilt for having caused the accident, suffers an addiction to prescription drugs. Less turgid and a lot more fun is the time one of Doc's several ex-wives (Tina Louise) hires narcissistic pretty-boy Lyle Waggoner to pose as her new fiance to make Doc jealous.

Lauren Tewes, who, sadly, would later have to leave the show due to her own real-life drug problems, is all winsome and chipper as cruise director Julie McCoy. Her character comes to the fore in one of the set's two feature-length episodes, in which Julie's high-school graduating class has its ten-year reunion on board the ship. This episode is loaded with guest stars and subplots, including a self-destructing alcoholic teacher (Raymond Burr), a wheelchair-bound Viet Nam vet (Michael Cole), his best friend who is wracked with guilt for evading the draft (John Rubinstein), and a heavy-set gal (Conchata Ferrell) who has a fling with Doc until she suspects him of ridiculing her behind her back. Also appearing in this one are Christopher George as a famous TV star and Bob "Gilligan" Denver as the class dork.

Looking cuter than I've ever seen her in anything else, Kim Darby (TRUE GRIT) plays a classmate trying to uncover the identity of a secret admirer within the group's ranks, which gives her an excuse to get romantic with just about all the male guest stars. Julie, meanwhile, shows her ruthless side as she tries to steal handsome disco instructor Michael Lembeck away from a pre-nosejob Lisa Hartman. Much of the episode's later scenes take place during a big disco party, which is typical of the show's obsession with this much-reviled dance craze. There's nothing like seeing a ballroom full of people with absolutely no sense of rhythm boogeying down like a bunch of brain-damaged storks.

In addition to those already mentioned, this collection's incredible roster of guest stars includes Phyllis Davis, "Hollywood Squares" host Peter Marshall, Barbara Rush, Elaine Joyce, Bobby Van, Carol Lynley, Hans Conried, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Ben Murphy, Donna Pescow, David Hedison, Juliet Mills, Telma Hopkins, Debbie Allen, Maren Jensen, Dennis Cole, Samantha Eggar, Paul Burke, Arlene Dahl, James Dobson, Leslie Nielsen, Jill St. John, and Charlie Callas. Ken Berry and Beth Howland star in one of the show's most moving segments about a woman who is trying in vain to be accepted by the daughters of the widower she's just married. Howland, of TV's "Alice", is particularly good here.

Aside from the opening titles and some of the stock footage used on the show, the picture quality here is pretty good. The DVD image is 4.3 full-screen with Dolby Digital sound. English and Spanish subtitles and closed-captioning are available. Each episode comes with its original promo, which is the set's sole bonus feature.

By the time I got to the final episodes of THE LOVE BOAT: SEASON TWO, VOLUME TWO, I was actually looking forward to the next sappy romantic adventures aboard the Pacific Princess. Not only that, but I caught myself singing along with the theme song! Aaron Spelling strikes again, and another hapless TV junkie winds up with a Gopher on his back.



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Sunday, November 6, 2022

ALL THE SINS OF SODOM/ VIBRATIONS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle



 

Originally posted on 9/25/17

 

Hardly as lurid as the title suggests, ALL THE SINS OF SODOM (Film Movement Classics) is pioneering sexploitation filmmaker Joe Sarno's visually seductive offering of forbidden sex-infused drama to inquisitive film audiences in the still-restrictive world of 1968 adult cinema. 

It's the work of a filmmaker who's already a master of exceeding the limitations of his budget and resources by sheer talent and imagination alone, crafting a quietly gripping story that takes place almost entirely within the confines of a New York photographic studio with a cast you can count on your fingers and backdrops often consisting only of artfully-lit walls ("limbo sets" as he called them).

Sarno's story is simple, giving him plenty of room to flex his creative skills.  A photographer named Henning (Dan Machuen) seeks a female model who can convey a kind of primal seduction, both evil and hypnotically compelling.  He thinks he's found such a girl in Leslie (Maria Lease), but although her sweet, bubbly personality causes him to fall for her, she ultimately lacks the qualities as a model that he's so desperately seeking.


Enter dark, mysterious Joyce (Sue Akers)--sort of a cross between Raquel Welch and Gina Gershon--referred to Henning by his sisterly agent (Sarno's real-life wife Peggy Steffans) due to what she recognizes in Joyce as an inner core of wanton, narcissistic sexuality and irresistible animal magnetism. 

Henning will be ecstatic over what he comes to regard as the perfect model for his project, teaming her in steamy photo shoots with Leslie, but won't see it coming when Joyce eventually reveals herself to be a negative force in the lives of both him and everyone else she comes into sexual contact with--including the hapless Leslie and another female model, both helpless to resist Joyce's eerily seductive influence.

Much of this takes place in a shadowy world in which the simple studio often looks like something out of a David Lynch fantasy.  Sarno, who disliked hardcore porn, pushes the limits of what would be known as "softcore" or "hard R" while still making each erotic sequence a valid part of the narrative rather than a story-halting intrusion. 

Sex between Henning and Leslie early in the film is in his brightly-lit bedroom and is stark and functional.  Later, under Joyce's wild, earthy, and perhaps even evil influence, the action is strewn with inky shadows and emanates a sort of fever dream quality as various combinations of participants seem helplessly trapped within Joyce's web of desire.


Sarno displays an instinctive eye for shooting the most exquisite arthouse stuff, seemingly without even trying. His cameraman Steve Silverman's razor-sharp, low-budget black-and-white photography here is gorgeous--moody, evocative, dreamlike (the print is beautifully restored from an unearthed original negative)--and Sarno directs with both a confident expertise and a sublime simplicity.  Even when his scenes only involve two or three actors in a stark set, they're a visual indulgence.

He fully exploits the abilities of his actors, who perform their roles here with surprising subtlety, sensitivity, and depth.  This is especially true for likable Maria Lease ("Leslie"), who would go on to have quite a career in movies (DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN, HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS) and TV on both sides of the camera.

Sarno's dialogue is terse, realistic, rarely overplayed.  He could definitely go big and loud (VAMPIRE ECSTASY, SIN YOU SINNERS) or comically colorful (CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE) when he wanted to, but this time it's all about taking in faces and moments and losing yourself in them. 

You'll see the ending of ALL THE SINS OF SODOM coming, but it's no less effective for its inevitability, nor is the journey there ever less than a rich cinematic treat for the adventuresome viewer.


Sarno's VIBRATIONS, made earlier the same year as ALL THE SINS IN SODOM (1968) and using the same interiors, isn't quite as dark and serious, but it's a delightfully engaging watch with plenty of sexual angst nonetheless.

Somewhat lighter and brighter (except for some lush bedroom scenes which give us that shadowy look with its stark contrasts and artful compositions), Steve Silverman's black-and-white photography is crisp and beautiful and positively gleaming with a nostalgic late-60s glow.  

Simplicity in set design and story is again the order of the day as Barbara (winsome Maria Lease again) moves into a small New York apartment to pursue her fading ambitions as a poet while earning money typing up manuscripts for other frustrated writers. 


Complications ensue when her irresponsible, oversexed sister Julie (Marianne Prevost) shows up looking for a place to stay as well as some action--including rekindling a long-ago incestuous relationship (a subject Sarno would revisit years later in CONFESSIONS OF A YOUNG AMERICAN HOUSEWIFE) that the reserved Barbara now wants no part of.

Meanwhile, buzzing noises and moans of sexual pleasure emanate from the apartment next door, which, according to mousey landlady Edna (Sarno's wife Peggy Steffans again), an enigmatic young woman named Georgia (Rita Bennett) is renting to use as a storage room. 

But it turns out she's using it for intense sexual escapades (with the help of some fast friends including a big, noisy vibrator) which will just naturally come to include hot-to-trot Julie and then, after much agonizing and soul-searching, the timid but love-starved Barbara herself.


Acting honors once again go to Maria Lease as her sadly neurotic Barbara character is put through the emotional mill, no thanks to her perverted fun-girl sister.  She yearns for a normal love life, perhaps with her nice neighbor who's paying her to type up some of his literary tripe and has expressed romantic interest (which slutty sis promptly derails). 

She's pretty much matched by Marianne Prevost as reprehensible but perversely amusing sister Julie.  ALL THE SINS OF SODOM alumni Dan Machuen and Sue Akers return as two of the girl next door's adventurous sex partners, who end up treating the ever-willing Julie like a brand new ride at Disneyland. 

VIBRATIONS has more sex scenes than ALL THE SINS IN SODOM--a lot more--and they're way steamier.  Eventually, the bits of story between them become shorter and shorter until finally the sex scenes themselves become the story.  I'm not sure if the way things turn out constitutes a "happy ending" per se, but it's poetic justice for the sisters.  Especially Julie, who definitely gets quite a buzz out of it all.

Bonus features:
"All the Sins of Sodom" commentary by Peggy Steffans-Sarno
Interview with Director, Joseph W. Sarno
"Vibrations" commentary by film historian Tim Lucas
"Vibrations" mini-commentary by Peggy Steffans-Sarno
Collector's booklet featuring liner notes by Tim Lucas
Trailers from these and other Sarno films

www.filmmovement.com

All The Sins of Sodom Trailer

Vibrations Trailer




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Wednesday, November 2, 2022

MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID -- DVD review by porfle



Originally posted on 6/17/11

 

Usually, a combination of the phrases "SyFy Original Movie" and "giant bad-CGI monsters" is enough to give me a severe case of the heebie-jeebies.  Especially if the movie they're referring to has a really dumb title.  Well, unbelievably enough, MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID (2011) is the rollicking, rip-roaring, and divinely ridiculous exception to that rule.   

The highlight is a blood-curdling death duel between two of the most horrifying monsters to ever walk the face of the earth.  I'm referring, of course, to 80s teen queens Tiffany and Debbie Gibson.  Debbie, who's gotten a bit wiry in her middle years but is still cute, plays eco-terrorist Nikki with loads of energy.  Tiffany, on the other hand, has filled out considerably since her younger days and, as Seminole State Park Chief Ranger Terry, marks off a few boxes on my fetish checklist with her generous figure, skimpy uniform, and sidearm.  (Sorry if that's too much information.)

When Nikki and her cohorts break into a lab and let loose a bunch of mutant pythons, they grow to gigantic proportions and start eating all the alligators, throwing the local gator hunters out of work.  This is fine with Nikki because she believes pythons belong at the top of the food chain, even if some of the lower links consist of bumbling park rangers, ill-fated fiancés, and comical rednecks.
 


Terry, meanwhile, has the bright idea of loading up a bunch of dead chickens with super-steroids and feeding them to the gators, thus bringing nature into balance again.  ("What's crazy about this--feeding steroids to gators?" she asks her partner, Angie.  "I mean, what could go wrong?")  The result is a horde of colossal alligator-monsters that feast on anything that moves.  Naturally, the pythons start eating their steroid-enhanced eggs and get even bigger, leading to mega-python vs. gatoroid pandemonium throughout the Everglades and eventually in the very streets of downtown Miami. 

Surprisingly, Roger Corman's name doesn't show up anywhere in the credits for this freaky flick.  Horror veteran Mary Lambert (PET SEMETARY, THE ATTIC) directs with a sure hand and keeps things moving at such a rapid clip that the story never has a chance to get boring.  The creature attacks are exciting, suspenseful, over the top, and even a bit nerve-wracking at times, despite the lighthearted tone and resolutely fake-looking CGI.




Willfully cheesy, this movie is positively frothy with deadpan comedy and campy dialogue.  Tiffany and Debbie get off to a good hostile start, nearly sideswiping each other on the road and growling "Bitch!" in unison.  Their environmentalist wacko vs. park ranger animosity is stoked throughout the film ("Looks like somebody had 'bitch' for breakfast!" Debbie taunts during their initial clash), building to the eventual catfight that pays off like a slot machine of fun.  When these legendary rivals go flying over a table during the fancy outdoor ball that Tiffany's throwing to raise money for the park, you can bet all those whipped cream-laden pies aren't just sitting there by accident. 

Another old fave, A Martinez (THE COWBOYS), plays Diego, a scientist who tries to convince the oblivious Terry that her park is becoming a human buffet for ravenous reptiles.  His skills as a pilot and demolitions expert will come in handy during the story's frantic climax, as Terry and Nikki join him in trying to lure the rampaging beasts out of the city and into a dynamite-laden deathtrap.  As Terry's elderly partner Angie, Kathryn Joosten has some of the best lines and delivers them with an exquisitely dry wit.  Ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz shows up at the fund-raising ball, upping the film's nostalgia value even more.



The DVD from Image Entertainment is in 1.78:1 widescreen with Dolby 5.1 surround sound.  No subtitles.  Extras consist of the film's trailer and a making-of featurette. 

Now, please don't take all of my giddy ravings as an indication that MEGA PYTHON VS. GATOROID is some kind of a great movie, because it isn't, of course.  But compared to all the other goofy "hybrid-creature" SyFy Channel flicks of its ilk that I've sat through recently, it's freaking CITIZEN KANE. 


Buy it at Amazon.com:
DVD
Blu-Ray


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