Phantom Of The Opera (1943)

SEPTEMBER 8, 2020

GENRE: MUSICAL, REVENGE
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

When I got the Universal Monsters Blu-ray collection a couple years ago during an Amazon sale, it was mostly out of a space-saving desire: my DVD versions (those green "book" types released in 2004) took up almost twice as much space as the boxed version, so I could get some shelf space back and improved transfers to boot. But when I took a look at its contents, I realized it also had a sort of bonus disc in the form of Phantom of the Opera, the 1943 version starring Claude "Invisible Man" Rains (or Claude "Wolf Man's Dad" Rains, if you wish). I don't think of him as one of the traditional Monsters, and I'm not a big fan of the Phantom story anyway, so I had never got around to seeing it before. But hey, it's in my collection permanently, might as well give it a look, right?

Instantly after hitting play I again bemoaned the film's inclusion in the set: it was in color! The only movie here that is, I think, making it stick out even more. I assume the fact that Rains was in two of their other films (the best two, IMO) gave it some connective tissue, but apart from the Robert Englund one none of these movies are full blown horror, and I kind of wish they used up that other disc (if one had to exist at all) to offer something like James Whale's Old Dark House or the 1932 Murders in the Rue Morgue. But oh well. The disc had a lovely bonus feature about the Universal Lot, which is the most fitting to put on a Phantom disc since the stage they used for the opera house was still there as of the supplement's production (ironically, after standing for almost 90 years, it ended up being demolished a year later).

As for the movie itself: eh. Again, not a big Phantom guy, though I must say that this one started off more intriguing than the others, as we meet the villain before he's the Phantom, which is unusual - the concept of his presence in the opera house is usually established at the beginning, filling in his history as we go. No, here we meet Erique Claudin (Rains), a violinist in the orchestra who is extremely gifted, but "not a good fit" or whatever. He is fired after working there for twenty years (part of his severance is a season pass, hahaha) and begins looking for new work, including trying to get his own composition published. And he comes close to realizing that dream, but a misunderstanding sends him into a fit of rage and he starts choking a guy who he thinks was trying to steal it. The man's wife picks up a handy tray of acid and throws it in his face, the choked guy dies, Claudin takes off into the sewers, and thirty minutes in, we have our Phantom!

From then on it's the usual stuff: Christine is too good to be in the chorus, gets a promotion when the headliner star falls ill, and becomes a sensation while the Phantom continues pulling the strings (some literal!) to keep her successful because of his obsession with her. A chandelier falls, a sewer rescue is mounted, a mask is torn away to reveal a hideous face... it's all the same, never that interesting to me story. And it's not even the lack of horror elements, because I've known about those for as long as I've been attempting to enjoy this particular story (my mom, when renting the Englund one when I was 10, told me they "turned it into a horror"); it's just a kind of thin story with a heroine that rarely does much, so there's no "in" really. And here, it weirdly gives us a reason to sympathize with him right off the bat and then doesn't use it to their advantage - he's just a murder-y jerk for the rest, and doesn't even go after the people he believes stole his music.

Rains is pretty engaging when he's on screen though; after he turns into the Phantom he's mostly seen in shadows (via cutaways that are never clearly defined with regards to their location in relation to the other people in the scene) for a while, and we only see the burn makeup for about nine seconds before (spoiler for 77 year old movie ahead) he is killed by dueling heroes Raoul and Anatole. Speaking of them, that's probably my favorite part of the movie besides Rains' performance - they're both smitten with Christine, for a usual love triangle kind of thing (the Phantom is not in love with her in this version - he was actually supposed to be her father but they dropped it), but the actors look alike as well, and as the movie goes on they play up the fact that they seem to be interchangeable. They both bring her the same flowers, they say the same responses to her simultaneously, etc. The final scene is downright wonderful as she turns them both down for a date, choosing option C (meeting up with adoring fans in the opera house), prompting the two men - bickering the entire movie - to become friends and enjoy the dinner together without her. Bros!

Back to the "Darth Phantom" thing though - even though they excised the reveal that Claudin was Christine's father who she never knew, there's a remnant left about how they both knew the same melody that was specific to their obscure small town, so it's a sort of sloppy removal and also makes the movie even less compelling than usual, since there's no reason for Phantom to be obsessed with her. And it's not the only "we changed something but not entirely" bit of confusion, as the opera staff begin talking about the Phantom as if he's already this urban legend in the place, in the VERY NEXT SCENE after Rains takes the acid bath! Someone even says something like "Oh, not those ghost stories again!", even though it's not only the first we've heard of it, but going by this adaptation's version of the story, the thing they're talking about (a missing mask) would clearly be the first thing he ever did there. My man wasn't going to start selecting his seat or prepping the chandelier to drop before getting the damn mask to hide his two-face.

Long story short, I appreciate the wrinkles they added to the basic narrative - honestly, this might be my favorite straight adaptation, for what it's worth - but this tale is just not for me, and I think at this point that will never change. I can maybe see myself giving the Schumacher one another look someday, if only for the now strange sight of seeing Gerard Butler in a "Handsome leading romantic role" to contrast with the glorified (and oft-AWESOME!) action junk he makes today, where he probably was second in line for Unhinged if Russell Crowe was unavailable. But otherwise, I think from now on I will insist on sticking to the ones that take the basic concept and move it into a mall or a rock venue (p.s. the Phantom's mask here was clearly an influence on De Palma's take) or something. The more they get away from Gaston Leroux's story, the more I seem to enjoy it. No offense, Gaston.

What say you?

Tweet

PLEASE, GO ON...

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

SEPTEMBER 28, 2018

GENRE: MUSICAL, ZOMBIE
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (FESTIVAL SCREENING)

The first job I had out of college was working QA for a software company, and it was infinitely more boring than it already sounds. To keep myself awake (which didn't always work, of course) I used the software to design a very primitive 3D animation (I called it 2.5D animation because it was so boxy - it wasn't far removed from the Dire Straits video) that I planned to use for an animated zombie musical that I wrote. I took it very seriously; storyboarding the entire script, designing some of the sets and characters, etc... but like with all my ambitious ideas life got in the way and I never finished working on it (to be fair, even if I kept it up I'd probably STILL be working on it, as animated films tend to be the work of thousands, not one asshole who didn't even really know what he was doing). Still, I held out hope I could do it someday, and thanks to Anna and the Apocalypse I know that it might actually be good, too! As nutty as "zombie musical" sounds on paper, it works!

Of course, these people know how to write songs, and were smart/talented enough to attract actual actors, so they got one up on me. Our cast is a group of high school seniors, all of whom find themselves at a crossroads - lead Anna wants to travel a bit before going to college, her best friend John is in love with her, another pal feels her relationship with her girlfriend AND her parents slipping away, etc. Basically, their days would suck even if not for the zombie outbreak that decimates most of the town overnight, giving us a group that you not only want to root to survive, but also some character driven stakes that keep us engaged even when the undead aren't on-screen. Some of the character dynamics are a bit muddled (it was a good twenty minutes before I realized Anna and John *weren't* a couple, for example) which occasionally hampers the more personal storylines, but for the most part it's a movie that might work just as well even if the zombies never showed up.

But they do, and more importantly - they don't particularly care about who you'd assume will live or die. It's not a particularly grim movie, but I was surprised more than once to see certain people get bitten, with the film ultimately giving you enough survivors to find the climax somewhat hopeful while also never once feeling particularly "safe", either. I'm sure some will write it off as too "cutesy" or whatever, but if you strip away the songs and some occasional high school drama that adults may roll their eyes at, you're left with a solid zombie story that largely refrains from embracing the cliches (there's only one "evil human", an asshole professor from their school who we know is a prick even before the zombies appear) and thankfully doesn't waste time with people trying to figure out what they are and how they can be stopped.

Which, I guess, is a good a place as any to admit that yes, the writers have clearly seen Shaun of the Dead. There's a scene where Anna sings an upbeat "It's gonna be a great day!" kind of song while remaining oblivious to the zombie carnage around her, and even if you haven't seen that film since 2004 you might be reminded of the bit where Shaun walks to the store, so caught up in his own business he doesn't notice anything amiss. The zombie discussion is also quite similar to Shaun's; these people have seen zombies in popular culture and more or less instantly accept that that is what they are dealing with, no further debate necessary. To be fair, it carves enough of its own identity that it never feels like a "rip-off" of Edgar Wright's film, but don't be surprised if you think of it more than anything from Romero or Kirkman.

But none of those dudes ever thought to have people sing about the zombies! The songs don't sound like traditional showtunes; modern pop musicals like High School Musical are more of an influence than Little Shop or Rocky Horror, and most of the songs are ensembles as opposed to solos or even duets - there might be two of those out of ten or so songs? I didn't keep track, but it's definitely lopsided in favor of letting a good chunk of the cast sing on the song of the moment. The songs themselves are bubblegum pop (unlike the more dance-inspired ones in the HSM films), and the message of most is basically "life can be a drag but you gotta keep fighting on", so it can feel a touch repetitive as it goes - and it doesn't help that the best two songs are also the first two songs, IMO - but there's so much charm it's easy to forgive. Still, if the average Kelly Clarkson hit has you wanting to plug your ears, I would probably skip this one.

Or just skip the songs, as it's not like they drench the film, with as much as ten minutes going by between them. Again I didn't keep count, but it seemed to me there were fewer songs than any other movie musical I can recall, allowing you to "get into" the film in ways most musicals don't allow. The first one doesn't even kick in until a few scenes have passed, so you might already be a bit invested before anyone even opens their mouth to sing (and, as I said, those first songs are the best ones, buying the movie more goodwill than it ultimately needed), which is a smart move for something so offbeat and also without the benefit of an existing stage show or whatever to familiarize yourself with the songs. Unlike La La Land or Greatest Showman, this doesn't have big stars to lure you in, making it all the more impressive that they even got it made, let alone with what seems like a decent-sized budget. The school gets used a lot, but there are big sequences in a variety of other locales (a bowling alley, a Christmas tree lot, Anna's neighborhood, etc.) and plenty of carnage as well, including far more bloodspray (often practical!) than I would have guessed beforehand. The filmmakers clearly aimed to please horror/zombie fans *and* musical fans in equal measures, and I think they largely succeeded.

Given the film's UK roots, largely unknown cast, and polarizing sub-genre, I'm surprised that Orion is opting to open the film wide, but it's a gamble I certainly endorse. It's a crowd-pleaser for sure, and given the film's Christmas setting it will be not just be fine counter-programming for all of the Oscar bait that will start choking our theaters come November, but also the sort of film you'll hopefully be in the mood for anyway, as it's not as mean-spirited as most Christmas horror movies are. Despite the R rating (for language and violence, though the latter is never remotely as graphic as that of Walking Dead), it's borderline family friendly, so it'll be a fine addition to your collection of seasonal Blu-rays. I know I can't wait to throw it on during one of my annual Christmas Eve Watch And Build-A-Thons (where I assemble a large Lego set while watching Christmas specials and movies), and might even make it one of Will's first zombie movies once he's ready for such fare (Shaun will probably come first, natch). Until then, I'm just happy that it exists: a zombie film with charm, satisfying me as a horror fan AND a guy who knows more Taylor Swift songs than you might expect.

What say you?

Tweet

PLEASE, GO ON...

Stage Fright (2014)

APRIL 6, 2014

GENRE: MUSICAL, SLASHER
SOURCE: ONLINE (SCREENER)

If they had thrown in a Community reference, there would be no doubt in my mind that Stage Fright was made for a very specific audience of one: Brian Collins. I mean, putting Meat Loaf into a movie is already a guaranteed butt in the seat, but Loaf SINGING, which is incredibly rare (out of 60+ films, he's only sung in about 5 of them)? And in a SLASHER movie? One with a custom mask instead of a giant coat like half of the modern slashers are given? And with a song during the end credits ABOUT THE END CREDITS??? Which are done with the "Carpenter" font that accompanied most of his films? These are all niche-y things that I've confessed my love for time and time again, so to have them all in one movie is pretty damn rare, and thus I didn't pay too much attention to pans OR raves from pals who saw it at SXSW last month - this movie was too in sync with my personal tastes for anyone else's opinion to matter much.

The funny thing is, even without the Loaf and the other things, I'd be excited to see the movie since it was the feature debut of Jerome Sable, who was the genius behind The Legend of Beaver Dam - hands down my favorite short of the past 5 years or so. It could have been a straight up drama and I'd be curious to see how he fared with a feature length narrative, but since it didn't stray too far from Beaver Dam's inspired "slasher meets musical" approach, I had high hopes. Were they met? Well, sort of - it's not exactly a home run, and there were times where I was flat out disappointed, but overall I was entertained and had a dumb smile on my face for many sequences. It may not be perfect, but for a feature debut, it's a damn good start.

It definitely feels like a film from someone used to shorter pieces, however. The first 5-10 minutes are damn near perfect, offering a gory murder and a full musical number from the majority of the cast - perfectly setting up the concept and showing their hand to potential lameos in the audience who thought they were there for one thing or the other. And then Loaf comes in and starts singing the 2nd number, and while it's not very good (it's probably the weakest in the film, admittedly), it calmed my fears that he'd be a minor character who exited the movie early (I was also relieved that he sang - he's been in a few other music-heavy movies without actually singing himself). Indeed, this is actually one of his bigger acting roles in quite a while (of the ones I've seen; he does a lot of indies that sound unbearable and thus I avoid them), showing up quite often and lasting all the way to the final reel. His mustache is ridiculous, but you get to hear him yell "FUCK!" over and over at one point, so it's a good treat for his fans, especially if they are like me and thus disappointed his roles in Tenacious D and Burning Bright (two of his more promising sounding gigs) were relegated to a single scene each.

But he is not the main character. That would be the very lovely Allie MacDonald as Camilla, whose mother (Minnie Driver in a cameo) was murdered after a performance of "The Haunting of the Opera", a "Phantom"-esque musical that she was starring in at the time of her demise. It's now 10 years later, and Camilla works as the cook at a musical theater camp, which has just opened for the season and will be putting on a production of... you guessed it, "The Haunting of the Opera". Camilla wants to work out some of her demons by auditioning for the role her mother inhabited, something the director doesn't think much of but the producer (Loaf), who has also been sort of her father figure, allows. As you might expect, people start dying at the hands of a killer who looks like the one in the play, which has been retrofitted to take place in feudal Japan (hence the Kabuki mask).

However, not ENOUGH people die at his hands. Because there are a bunch of kids around, logically there can't be much of a body count until the night the show premieres, as they would obviously be freaked and demand to leave the camp. But since the plot involves auditioning, rehearsal, etc - there's a lot of down time in between the opening kill and the next, to the point where you might forget you're watching a slasher movie. The killer makes a few appearances in between, snarling at photos of all the would-be victims and singing quick rhymes about how much he hates their music or whatever, but that doesn't count - they really should have opted to have a kill scene somewhere in between; a telephone repairman or something would suffice - anyone they could kill off without anyone noticing/caring that he was missing. Curiously, there aren't a lot of songs in here either; we hear snippets of the ones from the play, but otherwise there isn't another full blown musical number for a while - the movie just kind of drags until opening night.

Luckily, once we get there the movie really comes (back) to life. Just as a good short will have a knockout closing moment, the movie quickly makes you forgive its earlier lapses; the Kabuki Killer gets really active, there are more songs (including a hilarious metal one from the killer that I was humming later), and Sable finally finds the best balance between the needs of his story AND both of his genres - it all works almost perfectly (though I was bummed to discover an off-screen kill - in a movie that needed more as is, you shouldn't be robbing us of one!). The killer reveal isn't too shocking, but there's an extra twist to it that worked well, and a character gets a shockingly gory demise that I was legitimately surprised by - it's like some Grand Guignol shit all of a sudden. Plus, again, the end credits have a song about the movie, something I always love anyway (and he even thanks people for reading the credits! God, if they had just hired me to do their titles I'd have a permanent nerd boner at that bit).

I do wish that the younger cast members were given more to do, however. I get why they wouldn't be part of the slasher stuff, but after their glorious opening number where they sing about how happy they are to be at camp where no one will make fun of them or beat them up for liking musicals, they're basically just background players. Most of the focus is on the older people: Loaf, MacDonald, the director, the creepy janitor, a big NY theater guy who is coming to see the play... some of the kids could have easily have been the star of their own movie (particularly the one with glasses who was there to avoid his dad, and the one with the lisp), but after the play has been announced they're just sort of THERE. Friday the 13th Part VI had the same sort of scenario; little kids couldn't be Jason fodder like the adults, but they found enough for them to do (the kid reading Sartre still kills me) to give them a real reason to be there - here it was basically just cancelling out a ton of suspects/victims without any real payoff.

But like I said, it's a good start for a filmmaker who clearly isn't interested in doing generic fright fare, and seems to embrace the challenge of doing a horror comedy. With James Gunn and now Drew Goddard off making superhero stuff, we could definitely use a talented filmmaker to fill the void in this particular sub-genre. Stage Fright is by no means perfect, but how many of our great horror filmmakers really hit it out of the park their first time? If this is Sable's Dark Star or Hollywood Boulevard, then I am perfectly fine with that, and eagerly await his Halloween/Gremlins.

What say you?

Tweet

PLEASE, GO ON...

I Kissed A Vampire (2010)

JULY 17, 2012

GENRE: MUSICAL, VAMPIRE
SOURCE: DVD (STORE RENTAL)

You know, I can deal with I Kissed A Vampire’s PG rated plot, incoherent opening scenes, and largely terrible acting - I’m used to that sort of crap. But when you tell me that it’s a rock musical and every song is actually teeny bopper pop nonsense that makes Justin Bieber’s work sound like hardcore punk, I take offense. Even if the movie was lousy (and it is), I figured there might be a few decent rock tunes to enjoy. I mean, put a guitar in a song aimed at the masses and there’s a good chance I’ll like it (I own every Daughtry album, after all).

But sadly, I didn’t enjoy a single tune (of the 15), which made this a very grueling experience since even the film’s creators would probably tell you that the songs are the draw and the stuff in between was just there to link the musical numbers together and nothing else (for proof – the villain’s name is Trey Sylvania. That’s how much effort they were putting into the story/characters). Some were a bit catchy at times, but I’d never want to go out of my way to put one on or download the soundtrack on iTunes.

Worse, they’re all pretty much the same damn song; indistinguishable beats and structure with lyrics that all boil down to either “it sucks being a vampire” (when the heroes are singing) or “it’s great being a vampire” (for the villains). There are some love ones too, but even those revolve around the restrictions or benefits of that love that come with being a vampire. Even when there's a scene about the "goth punk scene of 1981" the song they play sounds exactly like the others. And they’re all performed in whole or in (major) part by one of the three leads, so it’s a failure there too. Take Rocky Horror – you get Frank, Magenta, Riff-Raff, Columbia, Brad, Janet, Rocky, Eddie, even the damn Narrator singing tunes in different pairings or solo, plus the group numbers like “Rose Tint My World”. There's variety, there's a chance for supporting characters to shine, there's EFFORT. Here it’s just Trey, Dylan, Sara, Trey and Sara, Trey and Dylan, Sara and Dylan, or Trey, Dylan and Sara.

There is one exception: Chris Coppola, the obnoxious guy you might recognize from several mid to late 00s Uwe Boll movies. He’s just as grating here as he was there, playing a mad inventor (named Dan Helsing – yep) who tries to help the kids from their vampirism. He joins in on one or two songs, but since they’re led by the others, it doesn’t really make much of a difference. However, his sequences are the only time in the movie where it felt like they were actually trying to give it some sort of a plot (and he actually scores the film’s only laugh by complaining about having to stop what he’s doing to sing – there are a few jokes along those lines in the movie, actually), so I am forced to say he’s the best thing about it.

Once I realized that the songwriters and I have very different ideas of what a rock song is, I began actively trying to keep my brain from exploding thanks to the knowledge that this thing actually got a minor theatrical release a few months back. Not sure if it was all in one state or what, but per Box Office Mojo it was released on 11 screens and made 125 dollars per theater on opening weekend, which translates to about 16 tickets sold per theater at most. Little bit of trivia, it is the 2nd lowest grossing film in the distributor’s history; the only one lower is How To Be A Serial Killer, which I almost contributed to as its one theater/weekend happened to be in San Diego during Comic Con back in 2009, and I was kind of curious when I walked by the theater on my way to some panel.

Now, it’s not that the movie is bad that made me wonder how anyone thought it deserved an 11 screen release – I’ve seen worse movies play on thousands of screens. No, what confuses me is the fact that this is easily one of the cheapest LOOKING movies ever made, with every musical number looking like a cross between Rebecca Black’s “Friday” video and those cheesy commercials you see for the traveling circus on Saturday morning TV. The director (named Chris Nolan, which tickled me to no end) is also fond of randomly zooming in during songs and dialogue scenes alike, a motif I couldn’t begin to explain. If anything the movie feels way too small and cramped as is, why make it worse? Zoom OUT and let us at least see how big your tacky set is!

I say all this knowing perfectly well that the target audience is (I hope) 12 year old girls, who probably don’t care about such things. But, you know, that was the audience for the Babysitter’s Club movie too, and that still resembled a real movie. Also, among the DVD’s bonus features is the original web series that this was based on, and even THOSE look like they have better production value than the feature (or maybe I just enjoyed getting through the exact same plot – sans Coppola’s character – in a third of the time), so it’s reasonable to think that anyone who enjoyed the web show (must have SOME audience in order to justify the cost of redoing it as a feature, right?) would be disappointed that the film was just a stretched out, cheaper version of what they already saw for free (or maybe it was a couple bucks, I couldn’t actually find it online anywhere).

The other bonus features include a pair of deleted scenes, one that seemingly goes on longer than the film itself, the other a minor musical number. Since I couldn’t tell the songs, certain characters, or sets apart, I feel I am under-qualified to comment on whether or not they were right to cut the scenes. The blooper reel is a curiosity, however – apart from the first gaffe where the set seemingly catches on fire and everyone is asked to exit ASAP, the whole thing is just a bunch of alternate lines for things that I guess were supposed to be jokes, like the main kid’s response to the lipstick on his neck (Take 1: “It’s chocolate!” Take 2: “We were painting!”). The trailer is also there, but there’s no need to access it since it actually plays before the disc’s menu comes up – so they’re just as incompetent at DVD mastering as they are at making films. Oh, they can’t figure out Twitter, either – according to the menu, their handle is “IKissedAVampire.com/vampirettes.php”. Who needs QA, anyway?

If you’re a parent – yes, this movie is totally fine for your Glee loving child who might have some interest in Twilight but you think she’s not ready yet. I wouldn’t argue that. But there are hundreds of better options that you might actually enjoy as well. Try Coraline or something.

What say you?

Tweet

PLEASE, GO ON...

Don't Go In The Woods (2010)

FEBRUARY 10, 2012

GENRE: MUSICAL, SLASHER
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REGULAR SCREENING)

Many of my favorite movies blend genres. Armageddon is an action/comedy/romance/sci-fi thing, Pulp Fiction is pretty much every genre (even horror! Gimp is scary!), Fletch is a comedy and a mystery, etc. Thus, the idea of crossing a slasher movie with a musical, while rather silly, should be right up my alley, and if nothing else should score points for ambition. Sadly, Don't Go In The Woods fails to engage as either a slasher OR a musical, which is exponentially worse than just failing at one. Bad slashers are a dime a dozen; the world's only slasher MUSICAL (that I know of) should at least be entertaining.

This is a horror site so let's just get the musical stuff out of the way quickly. The main problem is that most of the songs are just standard emo numbers that wouldn't be out of place on a Bright Eyes or Dashboard Confessional album. Hell, most of them are actually quite good if you like that style of music ("Shadows" and the final number in particular are worth owning an MP3 of), but they lack that "musical" feel. Much like the Spider-Man musical, the songs just lack that "showtune" quality, so it just comes off as a bunch of hipsters messing around on their guitars. And not all of them are good, either: the one between the girl and the foreign exchange student is one of the most grating songs I've ever heard (sadly it's also one of the few that seems written specifically for the movie).

Plus, they don't really add to the story the way the songs in say, Little Shop Of Horrors do, and only in two or three instances do a few lyrics (never a whole song) relate to the "slasher" plot in any way, making them even less significant. Not that this sort of approach can't work - the songs in Once also don't sound like typical musical numbers, but they totally fit the vibe of the movie. You hear "Falling Slowly" and think about the two characters going on their little dates; if you hear any of these songs you'd never think about the slasher scenes.

Of course, you'd probably never think about the slasher scenes period, because they are shockingly lackluster and poorly executed; taking this as a straight slasher would rank it among the lamest ever, in fact. Vincent D'Onofrio is a terrific actor, and can be a pretty scary guy on screen, but he doesn't exactly make a good impression as a director of scary movies. For example, the killer may be goofy looking but at least somewhat inspired - he sort of looks like a giant Odd-Job with a screen over his face - but you barely ever see him! Most of the kills are more or less off-screen (someone will get dragged out of frame or you'll just see the weapon swinging), and our good looks at him are incredibly rare. He's not the shark in Jaws, Mr. D'Onofrio - there's no reason to hide him this much. The ending sort of offers a reason for his limited appearance, but since it still counts as a bit of a cheat, there's no reason to keep him so vague. Might as well go all out if that's the path you're going to take.

The only minor surprise about the kill scenes is that they are surprisingly gory. The Hatchet/Laid To Rest franchises don't need to worry about it stealing their thunder - it's all aftermath, with minimal on-screen contact, but seeing a dude with a keyboard sticking out of his neck or the killer ripping chunks of muscle/flesh from a girl's back were some of the few times I got the impression that anyone on the crew had ever seen a slasher movie before. On the other hand, they should know that 11-12 characters is too many for this kind of slasher; even ignoring the fact that none of them have much characterization behind them (which I can ignore - it's practically a given even in underpopulated slasher films), but the hook of the movie is that these guys are out in the woods sans distractions in order to write their album. Thus, just one or two girls (instead of 6 or 7) could have made the same point, and then there would be more time for crazy things like "stalking scenes", or maybe even money for "actual kill scenes". Something to think about for the sequel.

And you'd think with that many victims that it wouldn't ever take too long to kill someone; 10-11 victims in an 80 minute movie should mean you're never more than 10 minutes away from one, right? Nope. The girls show up after like 25-30 minutes, and it's another 15 before the first one dies. The movie uses the time-honored tradition of showing part of the ending at the top of the film, seemingly for no other reason than to ensure the audience that they are indeed seeing a horror movie, because otherwise they might forget by the time anything happens in the timeline. There's also a bizarre jump cut at the top of the final reel, where the closest thing we have to a "Final Girl" is watching one of her friends die and then is suddenly at the campsite with the band's lead singer. So even when the movie finally gets going, it's still denying us the sort of things we want to see.

Ultimately, the movie barely even makes an attempt at showing why the two genres should be combined in the first place. There are a couple of very brief instances where girls who are going off to die begin singing the previous (unrelated) song with new lyrics that seem to be foreshadowing their demise - THIS is the sort of thing the movie should have been built around! All they needed was one or two unrelated emo songs just to sell the idea that they were in a band, and from then on the songs should have been actual numbers that tied into the killer's actions. Hell, give the killer himself a song! It's almost as if D'Onofrio and his screenwriters (Joe Vinciguerra and Sam Bisbee, the latter of which also wrote the songs) came up with the idea: "A slasher musical!" and then figured that they could just phone everything else in, figuring the concept alone was enough to make audiences happy.

I can forgive some of the movie's problems due to the way it was produced - apparently it was made as a time-killer while waiting for another project to come together, with actors hired out of coffeehouses and such. However, I can't accept that their efforts aren't even enough to qualify this as a potential cult classic, or that most of the movie's problems are directly script related. As I've mentioned before, I'll accept any idea for a movie no matter how ridiculous as long as the filmmakers back it up. There are moments in the third act where you see the potential in the concept (particularly when the lead singer suddenly stops running from the killer in order to sing a new song), so I am confident that this COULD work; hell, the short Legend of Beaver Dam sort of counts as a slasher musical, and that's one of the best things I've ever seen. But scattered moments are not enough to save the flick from being anything more than a curiosity; something you watch only to ensure that it exists. Indeed, there IS a full length slasher musical in the world - it's just a shame that it's this shockingly dull.

What say you?

P.S. The one LA theater showing this (the Laemmle Music Hall 3) only has it on one showing per day. At first I thought this was a bit silly; granted it's not going to be a "line around the block" movie, but with only one screen they could surely justify a few showings per day, right? Nope - I was the only one there. The box office for Don't Go In The Woods on its opening day in the biggest movie city in the world was 11 dollars. Of all the crap I've seen, this was the first time I've had a theater to myself since I moved here (something my good friend Phil Blankenship manages to do fairly often). It's kind of nice, I didn't have to stifle my burps! Also, it was showing on a Blu-ray; always nice to be reminded of how far the paid theatrical experience has fallen with the damn player menu projected on a screen:

PLEASE, GO ON...

Mad Monster Party (1967)

APRIL 23, 2011

GENRE: ANIMATED, MONSTER
SOURCE: STREAMING (NETFLIX INSTANT)

It's hard to dislike a movie that has pretty much every classic monster under one roof, and brought to life with awesome stop-motion to boot, but Mad Monster Party (which has a ? at the end of the title for some reason, I refuse to add it until someone can explain it!) is sadly pretty dull for most of its running time. Plus, it's filled with humor aimed at kids, but (spoiler) ends with everyone dying or turning out to be a soulless robot. Not too kid-friendly.

Despite coming from the Rankin/Bass factory, it makes more sense to compare to Nightmare Before Christmas, another monster-filled stop-motion feature length film. Nightmare is 20 minutes shorter and even that feels padded at times (I never quite shined to the Oogie Boogie subplot; it never seemed to gel with the vastly more interesting story of a guy trying to take over another holiday). Here, it's like the entire movie is comprised of padding; we spend a lot of time being introduced to our "hero" at his job at a pharmacy, and then he pretty much disappears for the entire second act of the movie. Each monster is given an introduction and a quick gag, usually with one of the others (I particularly liked the sleeping Mummy using Hunchback's hump as a pillow), but most of them have no real place in the narrative; only Dracula really seems to have a real plot, with Wolfman and Frankenstein's Monster popping up with some frequency compared to the others but still sort of useless. It's like they had a cute idea for a 30 minute special and decided to expand it to feature length (indeed, I had heard of it a few times but always assumed it WAS a TV special like Rudolph and Year Without A Santa Claus).

And again, the hero disappears for so long, I had nearly forgotten about him by the time he showed back up again. He also barely interacts with most of the monsters, which makes it feel like you're watching two entirely different movies grafted together. Even once he finally arrives on the island, he spends most of the time dicking around in the jungle with the villainess/eventual love interest, while most of the monsters are inside the castle. His voice also doesn't seem to match the character; he looks like a younger fella but he sounds like Don Knotts. In short, he's the shittiest hero ever (he also slaps around the love interest, who suddenly finds him attractive almost immediately after - uh...).

After a while I began mainly just amusing myself by checking which monsters they got the design for and which they had to modify. Invisible Man's robe and glasses are spot on, but Creature From The Black Lagoon looks more like the female Gremlin from The New Batch. Wolfman also just looks like a giant dog, which is odd because Frankenstein and Dracula are pretty close to the Universal designs. And the design of King Kong is pretty accurate, but they didn't have the right to his name I guess, because he's called "It". It's funny, I was talking to someone the other day that it's a shame that Universal, New Line, and Dimension/Weinstein couldn't all agree to license their characters for a sort of Mortal Kombat type game with all the classic/modern monsters* (as those three studios pretty much own all of them); rights and clearance stuff has been spoiling our fun forever I guess.

Once Felix finally arrives on the island it picks up a bit, as the monsters (well, Dracula) actually start DOING something instead of just sort of hanging out in the castle, engaged in an endless series of mostly lame gags (the brief food fight seems like a big missed opportunity, as well). It's also at this point where they stop breaking into song out of nowhere; there are only 5-6 songs in the movie, not enough to qualify as a musical, but just more time-killing nonsense (they're also not particularly memorable songs - no "Heat Miser" or "Silver and Gold" here). There's a man eating plant, and King Kong lumbering around... it's not exactly Team America in terms of action, but at least the characters are motivated by something for once.

After a while I just gave up hope in enjoying the movie as an actual narrative and just started focusing on the animation. I'm a huge stop-motion fan (I even did some myself in high school/college), and the work here is terrific. The Invisible Man effects are particularly impressive (probably why he barely, er, appeared), and the sets and backdrops were seemingly huge and well detailed, giving the characters a nice, colorful playground. You can see strings every now and then, but not nearly as often as you might expect given the complexity of some of the "stunts" and the fact that they didn't have computers to remove them back in the 60s. And regardless of their design compared to their live-action counterpart, each monster was wonderfully detailed and very different looking from the others; apart from Frankenstein and his Monster's head (where the similarity sort of makes sense - p.s. Frankenstein is clearly modeled after Boris Karloff, who provides the voice), there doesn't seem to be any examples of making one mold and using that for all of the characters, like in some other stop motion movies; every monster seems designed from scratch.

And, you know, it's harmless. A little long, and with questionable judgment in terms of what its intended audience should be exposed to, but if I had a four or five year old who wanted to watch some of daddy's horror movies, I'd be worried about showing him even Nightmare Before Christmas, which is legitimately scary at times, but I'd feel fine putting this on and letting him enjoy the colorful, non-threatening monsters. I just wish it was something that offered a little more than a series of gags. I'm not exactly one of those nuts who come to the theater dressed up as Jack Skellington, but once the novelty of the animation wears off in that film, I still enjoy the story and songs; here, the appeal of the animation was the only thing keeping me interested at all.

What say you?

*This guy tried to do just that, but as you can see, the studios threw a hissy fit and threatened to sue instead of realizing the potential and bringing this guy in to develop the game for real.

PLEASE, GO ON...

Blu-Ray Review: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

OCTOBER 26, 2010

GENRE: MUSICAL, WEIRD
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

I have a confession to make. I’ve seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show at least a dozen times, listened to the soundtrack album for both the film and the original Roxy performance over and over, bought the PC game, and even owned the series of Bobbleheads. But I’ve never once seen the film in a theater, with participation or not. Christ, I’ve seen Shock Treatment in theaters, but not the original classic (I have to be one of a very very low number of people who can make that claim). So it’s sort of fitting that this new 35th Anniversary Blu-ray of the film is largely geared toward recreating the experience in the comfort of your home, since I’ve apparently mentally decided never go to the real thing.

Obviously, though, I enjoy the movie. It’s fast-paced, goofy fun and the songs are catchy as hell. I first got interested due to the presence of Meat Loaf (being a huge fan of his albums), but oddly "Hot Patootie" wouldn’t even place in my top 5 songs of the film. I’m a sucker for “Over At The Frankenstein Place”, “Eddie”, and “Rose Tint My World” (including the awesome “epilogue” by Riff-Raff – “Frank N Furter/It’s all over...”), but really I love all the songs in the movie (I wouldn’t miss “Sword of Damocles”, though that’s mostly due to the terrible dub making it stick out like a sore thumb). Most musicals have a few duds, but as far as I’m concerned, every number here is worthy of singing along.

And the movie itself is enjoyable too. It’s a loving mish-mash of 50s Sci-Fi, Frankenstein movies, and (technically) breakdown horror, with a game cast bringing these generic elements to surprising life. Many of the cast (Tim Curry and Richard O’Brien particularly) have that “offbeat” quality that keeps them from playing more traditional heroes (or even villains), but they are perfectly at home here as Transylvanians. Susan Sarandon is wonderful as the shy prude who goes from being a virgin to a total slut (she nails at least two of the characters, not to mention all the pool shenanigans, all in one night), and Barry Bostwick is a droll delight – I wish he had taken on more genre roles (he DID take Chevy’s place in a short-lived Foul Play TV series however – I have to see this!). And my boy Meat Loaf (billed as Meatloaf here) is only in it long enough to sing one song and get killed, but it’s certainly a memorable sequence.

However, in the past 35 years, the movie itself has sort of taken a back-seat to the general EXPERIENCE of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Folks dress up as the characters, even the minor ones who only appear in a single shot or two. Props are thrown at the screen during appropriate times (i.e. rice during the wedding), and in addition to the songs, talking back to the screen is encouraged – when the narrator (Charles Gray) pauses after “To take you...”, the crowd shouts “WHERE?!” before he finishes his thought (“on a strange journey”), for example. Plus, the most die-hard fans form groups and “shadowcast” the film, which is basically acting out the entire thing in front of the screen, complete with props and lights and everything. In short, if you actually just like the movie and want to watch it in peace, you probably wouldn’t want to hit up a screening at your local indie house (part of the reason why I haven’t bothered – these folks annoyed me enough during Repo and Shock Treatment; I’m sure they’re even more intrusive during RHPS).

But FOX has people like me covered, allowing home viewers to get as close as they can to the theatrical experience but without the mess and expenses (I can’t imagine going out to buy bread and rice just to literally throw it away). Using the Blu-ray exclusive “Midnight Experience” feature, one can add a call-back track (things to shout at the screen), a prop box (little animated things that you can throw whenever you like, however the appropriate prop will blink when you’re supposed to throw it), and even a PIP-enabled full length professionally filmed shadowcast that will play with the film’s audio (if there’s a way to turn on an “audience” audio track, I didn’t find it). It’s a well designed feature that adds enjoyment to the viewing of the film, and you can blow the shadowcast up to full-screen if you want a better look at how much effort these folks put into their costumes and performances.

The biggest new extra feature is actually an American Idol-esque hour long piece about the search to find the cast for this special shadowcast. Tryouts are held in NY and LA, with shadowcast troupes from across the globe facing off against other fans dressed the same. It’s kind of funny to see like 19 different Riff-Raffs in one room, and interesting when you notice that no two are exactly alike. But unlike most competitions, they all seem to get along with their “rivals”, helping each other fix costumes and such. The guy who tried out for the role of Brad and ended up getting the consolation prize (Ralph) seems a bit bitter, but otherwise everyone is thrilled, especially when Barry Bostwick himself offers them personal congratulations (he had come in to help judge the finalists).

The packaging lists “Rocky-oke” as a new feature, but it seems one of the previous releases had to have had this option for the songs, no? Well either way it’s here, with or without the vocals (they seem to strip some of the instruments away with the vocals, however – it sounds terrible). There’s also a trivia track that plays in the top left of the screen (it’s actually part of the “Midnight Experience”, though the trivia is largely about the careers of the cast/crew and other assorted nuggets of info), and a look at Mick Rock’s much heralded set photos (a brief interview with Rock is also included).

The rest of the extras are held over from previous releases, though a few have been dropped as well, so don’t toss your old release at the screen just yet. Of most use to fans is the commentary with O’Brien and Patricia Quinn (Magenta), who don’t even bother to introduce themselves and simply have a nice conversation over the movie. Not that it’s not screen-specific, but what will often happen is, one of them will comment about something on screen and then they’ll go off on tangents from that. They rarely fall silent and bring a lot of trademark British dryness, so it’s definitely worth a listen (and it’s worth noting that the trivia track does not repeat commentary information, as many of them often do). Then the deleted musical numbers “Once In A While” and “Superheroes” are also included (the latter should have been included, though the former is quite bad – however I do enjoy the Roxy version), as well as some alternate takes of the credits. You can also have the option of watching the film with its intended Black & White opening, though the switch to color occurs at a different spot than where O’Brien claims it should occur on the commentary (he says it should happen during "Sweet Transvestite", when Frank takes off his robe, but on the DVD it occurs when Brad and Janet first enter the main “convention” hall during "Time Warp"). Plus some outtakes, the “Time Warp” video and other assorted promotional material. I should note that this “From the vault” portion of the extras are all presented in standard definition (and, at least on my player/TV setup, triggered an incorrect aspect ratio). It’s pretty much the best of the stuff from previous editions, the only thing of note I noticed missing are the VH-1 “Behind the Music” and Pop-up Video selections from the 25th anniversary release (I never got the 30th so I’m not sure what’s on there that’s missing from here).

Unsurprisingly, it’s also the best the film has ever looked or sounded (those film prints must be getting beat up by now, no?). The image was taken from a 4k master of the original negative, and it looks amazing. FOX has even gone a bit easier on their DNR for once – it’s still lacking grain, but not to the extent that everyone looks like a Barbie doll (see: Predator). But since this is a musical, I’m guessing the sound is more important – I’m happy to report it sounds terrific. It’s given a new 7.1 mix that actually works quite well (it was a mono film originally), with the songs sounding perfectly crisp and the dialogue as clear as you’d expect. The surrounds don’t get much action beyond a few effects and songs, but again – it was a mono film to start with. It’s not an aggressive mix, but it’s one of the more natural sounding mix upgrades I’ve heard. The packaging is also nice, with the disc nested in the back of a book of photos (though the flap with all of the bonus feature information is awkwardly designed - it's glued on firmly as if it wasn’t meant to be removed).

The lack of a few bonus features (and that they are presented in standard def) keeps this from being the be all and end all Rocky Horror Picture Show release, but it’s still the best one yet. The new bonus features are enjoyable, the transfer is nearly perfect, and even if a few supplements are missing, it will take you hours to go through the whole thing. And that it’s all on one disc just makes the power of Blu-ray all the more impressive. A must have set for fans new and old.

Movie: 8/10
A/V: 9/10
Bonus: 9/10
Overall: 9/10

PLEASE, GO ON...

Rockula (1990)

MARCH 28, 2010

GENRE: COMEDIC, MUSICAL, VAMPIRE
SOURCE: THEATRICAL (REVIVAL SCREENING)

Despite meeting a few of my horror “requirements”, I was prepared to just watch something else for the day and forget about Rockula review, but under severe pressure from some friends who were also at the screening to count it, here we are! Why wouldn’t I count it, you might ask? Well, Rockula’s vampirism doesn’t really have anything to do with the movie, he doesn’t follow any traditional vampire rules (goes out in the sun, doesn’t mind garlic, etc), and no one even seems to notice he’s a vampire. So it's really about a guy with weird teeth.

But it IS a wonderfully batshit movie, the type I would probably like more with each viewing, and ultimately love it after I watched it 10-15 times if such a thing was possible (it’s not on DVD, and it’s not physically possible to watch a VHS tape too many times, even I found one). There aren’t a lot of actual jokes in the movie, but it’s just so damn goofy and weird, with “huh?” worthy sight gags passing by in the background more often than not. Some of it is ZAZ-worthy, like a bloodmobile delivering blood in bottles like a milkman, but more of them are a bit less obvious and random, like the idea that his love is always going to be killed via hambone by a guy with a peg-leg.

There is one but-gusting amazing moment around the half-way mark though. As our hero and his eternal love are about to “go upstairs”, they begin to sing a fairly catchy (in a cheesy 80s ballad kind of way) duet called “By My Side”, and just as he is about to start the chorus, a car comes out of nowhere and slams right into him. But it doesn’t stop him from singing, he just carries on as the car keeps driving with him spread out on the windshield. He finally gets off in a homeless area, and the two continue singing as they look for each other amongst all the homeless people, some of whom rough him up. It’s a glorious moment - I love when movie musicals play with the conventions of the genre (i.e. that people are suddenly breaking out into song in the middle of a street or whatever). I wish more of the songs had this sort of parody quality, but sadly the bulk of the songs are performed on stage.

See, Rockula is the name of the band that our hero starts in order to win over the girl, but the band keeps changing genres. First he’s a Devo-esque rock band, then they perform a rap song that sounds like a Tone Loc leftover, and near the end he’s doing an Elvis number. He’s the David Bowie of vampire band leaders. But these scenes more or less stop the movie cold for the song to play out, unlike the “By Your Side” one which doubles as the film’s only real action scene until the end.

Rockula (actually Ralph) is played by Dean Cameron, who you all know as Chainsaw from Summer School. I think he was better suited to comic relief supporting character than a romantic lead, but he’s fun to watch all the same, and actually plays two roles (his “reflection”, which is sort of a Jekyll and Hyde type relationship), and some of the movie’s best scenes involve him basically talking to himself, going in and out of “mirror acting”. He’s definitely a very skilled comic performer, and it’s a shame that this film got buried (due to Cannon going bankrupt - this was one of their last films). I doubt it would have been a very big hit, but it probably would have gotten him enough recognition to get better leading comic role scripts than Ski School in the following years.

I definitely wish we had seen more of Tawny Fere. I don’t know if she did her own singing, but she’s a knockout AND a pretty decent actress with good comic timing. And she looks like Rachel McAdams, which I would have liked to have before the real one came along a decade or so later. But this was pretty much her last big role, she followed it up with a stint on General Hospital, and then appeared in a pair of DTV movies (one as just “neighbor”) at the end of the 90s. Her only credit of the 2000s is a short film. Lame.

The rest of the cast is primarily musicians. Ralph’s mom is played by Toni “You’re going to put Mickey in quotes in between my first and last name, aren’t you?” Basil, who comes off like Fran Drescher more often than not and stops the movie cold for a song AND dance around the hour mark. Ralph’s main band mate is played by Bo Diddley, who is game enough to join in for several silly montage scenes such as when Ralph is trying to think of a look for the band. And his nemesis? Thomas Dolby, obviously (if they remade the movie his role would probably be played by Will Ferrell). As a villain he’s pretty ineffective, but he’s an important part of this movie’s random charm - I particularly like his commercial for his graveyard, featuring horrible ideas like windows on the caskets.

Had I seen the movie during its (apparently excessive) cable run, I probably would have been singing along and cheering at certain lines. I’m not sure if seeing it at midnight (actually 1 am by the time the Q&A with Cameron ended - not a complaint though, he was a great guest AND forever earned a place in my cool book when he inexplicably made an obscure reference to the HMAD screening of Dr. Giggles*) was the best way to see the film for the first time - I was a bit sleepy (duh) and had no idea what to make of it. And it’s a very low-key movie with many subtle, almost subliminal gags (what the hell is up with SQUID being written on the wall during the “By My Side” scene?), which makes it a better fit for home viewing to boot. I just hope a DVD gets released so I’m not stuck with Youtube clips forever.

What say you?

*Someone in the crowd asked if Cameron would do the “Tension breaker” bit from Summer School, and he quipped “No, but I will do the Dr. Giggles laugh.” At the Dr. Giggles screening, Larry Drake, an otherwise wonderful guest, bummed everyone out by not doing the laugh for the crowd (as he rightfully pointed out, we were about to hear it 1000 times in the movie). I don’t think Cameron was at the Giggles screening (and for the record, he did indeed do the Summer School bit for everyone), so I assume Phil told him the story, but it was a funny joke all the same. New Bev inside jokes!

PLEASE, GO ON...

The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto (2009)

OCTOBER 12, 2009

GENRE: ANIMATED, COMEDIC, MONSTER, MUSICAL
SOURCE: BLU-RAY (OWN COLLECTION)

It’s been four years since I’ve been able to say “Hey, Rob Zombie made a good movie!”, but that is precisely my (surprised) reaction to The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto, which is sort of like the animated version of one of those Hong Kong movies they show at the Bev every now and then, jamming multiple genres and tones together into one sort of cohesive narrative. And adding songs.

However, how much of the film’s success should be credited to Zombie remains a mystery. He is credited as the director at the top of the film, but the end credits list several “sequence directors” and “animation directors” and such. His script is co-credited with Tom Papa (who plays the title character), and several other writers are also listed (again, during the end credits). And the best thing about the movie are the songs, and those were all written by Chris Hardwick and Mike Phirman.

I can’t believe Hardwick isn’t a bigger star. Not only did he steal H2 away from everyone else, but his work here is nothing short of brilliant. Each song has a different genre - we get surf rock, country, mariachi, scat, Beatles-esque pop, jazzy lounge stuff... you name it, it’s here. And they are goddamn HILARIOUS. My favorite is the track that plays over a car chase between Suzi X (Sheri Moon Zombie, of course) and a bunch of Nazi zombies. Like those “literal video” versions of songs you see on Youtube, the song’s lyrics merely describe what’s on screen. “She throws a thing it blows up but a bunch get through why does a zombie need a scarf” Hardwick sings, over a sequence where Suzi throws a thing that explodes, taking out some but not all of the zombies, one of whom is wearing a scarf. And a later song, over a nude catfight between Suzi and Velvet Von Black (Rosario Dawson) tells you that it’s OK to jerk off to animation, since that’s what Japanese people do all the time.

As for the non-song parts of the movie, it’s OK. It moves along so swiftly and so irreverently that it’s hard to get bored or anything, but by the same token, it’s so damn scattershot that I often felt like I was watching something based on a script that was made up by a drunken improv group at a Fangoria convention. It’s also strangely non-violent; most confrontations end in a single smack to the head or whatever. Zombie and his crew went all out with the nudity and language, why not the violence?

Horror fans should definitely appreciate all of the homages and references that occur during the film’s 73 minutes. Some are pretty obvious (Michael Myers tries to walk across the street, and gets run over), others a bit more subtle; I wonder how many will miss the Dr. Phibes gag entirely. The best is a Carrie “ripoff” that comes near the end. Not only does it have one of the better songs (another “sing along to what’s happening on-screen” song, complaining that they didn’t ask King or DePalma if this was OK with them), but it’s also one of the few full blown horror scenes in the entire movie. For a movie with “haunted world” in the title, it’s surprisingly horror-lite.

Not sure about the standard def, but the Blu-ray has a nice collection of deleted/alternate material. There are 5 minutes’ worth of deleted scenes (mostly shots) that are usually placed without any context, but it’s nice to see completed animation in the bonus section; usually all we get is animatics and storyboards. In fact, the collection of “alternate scenes” are largely unfinished, and as the title suggests, are usually just a different version of an existing scene (not a surprise that one whole scene’s context can be changed without really altering anything else in the narrative, considering how slap-dash it is). The biggest and most interesting supplement is the entire movie presented in various stages of completion. Pencil outlines, wireframes, animatics, storyboards, near-completed animation... it’s all here. You probably won’t get through the entire thing, but it’s interesting to see how many stages there are from initial design to final animation. And it’s the closest you’ll get to information on the film’s production, since there are no making of features whatsoever, nor are there interviews or commentary with any of the cast or crew. I would have liked to have seen at least SOMETHING about the film’s production (or its long post-production process - Rob began work on this before his first Halloween), but the deleted material almost makes up for it. I also wish they had provided a “jump to a song” type feature that most musical DVDs do (or better, simply released a soundtrack album). On the plus side, they HAVE provided uncompressed PCM audio, which I am noticing is becoming rare as Blu-ray becomes more popular.

So it’s hardly the best movie in the world, but it’s got a kooky charm that kept me entertained, and I laughed out loud several times. But given the amount of co-creators, it just sort of proves that Zombie can produce better material when he allows others to contribute instead of doing everything himself.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...

DVD Review: Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008)

JANUARY 28, 2009

GENRE: MUSICAL, WEIRD
SOURCE: DVD (OWN COLLECTION)

Now that Repo: The Genetic Opera is on DVD, I figured I’d review the film’s extras in case you had some hesitation about buying the DVD. Or, more specifically, the Blu-Ray. While the DVD has a pair of commentaries and two featurettes, the Blu-Ray has a lot more content (since the film is only 97 minutes long, I am puzzled why so many of these features were left off of the standard disc), including additional songs. But even on standard def it should still take you about four hours to go through all of the supplemental material.

The bulk of that time will be spent on the two commentaries; one is with Darren Bousman along with Terrance Zdunich and Darren Smith (who wrote the songs/script) and music producer Joe Bishara. As Bousman points out himself, this isn’t a commentary where everyone talks about how much fun they had; the participants spend a great deal of time discussing the various struggles in getting the film made, from songs that producers wanted cut from the film to having a union member turn on an electronic prop. The other track, with Ogre, Bill Moseley, and Alexa Vega (and Bousman again) is more fun – Moseley likes to make wisecracks and Alexa has a penchant to sing lyrics along with the movie (not just hers). It’s more anecdotal than informational, and thankfully Bousman does not repeat himself (unlike Eli Roth, who tells the EXACT SAME STORIES on all three of his Cabin Fever tracks).

Then we get the trailer and a pair of featurettes, one about the transition from stage to screen that is pretty jam-packed with info considering how short it is (10 minutes), and the other about the song “Legal Assassin”. It’s a good piece but it’s taken directly from the website (it’s even presented in a little animated window), and thus the quality (particularly on the audio) is hardly demo quality. I wish LG had taken the time to remaster this properly for a DVD presentation, but considering their dismissal of the film as a whole, I guess we should be lucky the film is on DVD at all.

The Blu-Ray has all the same features, and more. Two additional featurettes (one on Amber, the other on Blind Mag) in the same vein as the Legal Assassin are again, presented in lousy standard def, though unlike on the standard DVD, they are full screen. Then we get “select scene commentary” with Bousman and Paris Hilton. Bousman admirably tries to keep Paris talking, but her comments are pretty short and to the point (“this was fun”, “I like this scene”, etc). Then there are four “sing along” tracks for the more popular songs, which is a nice offering for those who don’t already sing along anyway.

Of most interest to fans will be a collection of deleted scenes, which also have optional commentary by Bousman and Hilton. The first two are full blown songs, the other two are just brief interludes; all of them were cut for pacing reasons. My only gripe is that they are presented without context; “Needle Through A Bug” in particular makes absolutely no sense unless you listen to Bousman’s commentary, which explains at least some of what is going on (why Graverobber is hanging upside down throughout the scene remains a mystery).

The audio/picture is, of course, much better on the Blu-Ray, though tech nerds should remember that the film is intentionally soft focus and thus the image isn’t as “sharp” as they are used to. Still, detail and colors are much better (check out all the detail in Graverobber’s hair during “Zydrate Anatomy”), and the HD master audio track is superb. Since Repo’s theatrical appearances (at least in my experience) were in sub-par screening rooms and/or filled with people singing along, it’s actually the best I’ve heard it yet – a few lyrics I never quite deciphered are now as clear as day.

Repo was unfortunately not a big success in financial terms, and thus the DVD sales will determine any and all future the film has (sequels, director’s cuts, etc). So those of you who might be inclined to wait for the “ultimate DVD” or whatever (especially considering Bousman’s presence, since the Saw films ALWAYS have two editions) – there won’t BE one if folks don’t support the original release. Given the deep love and respect that the filmmakers have for the film and its fans, I am sure that any future release of Repo would be akin to the LOTR releases, with nothing recycled in terms of extras, making it a more enticing doubledip. Plus, the Blu-Ray can be found at a lower than average price, so I urge both fans and newbies alike to pick this one up. And if you are still on the fence regarding whether to upgrade to Blu-Ray: this release, with so much BR exclusive content, is a fine example of the studios’ efforts to steer you in that direction.

Testify!

PLEASE, GO ON...

Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead (2006)

JANUARY 4, 2009

GENRE: COMEDIC, MUSICAL, SPLATTER
SOURCE: DVD (ONLINE RENTAL)

It’s a shame that Troma has to make its living distributing garbage like Slaughter Party, because when they make a film on their own, such as Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead, it’s a blast almost from start to finish. But all that other crap brings their reputation down, which bums me out. Best way to go about it – if Lloyd Kaufman actually directed it, chances are it’s gonna be pretty awesome, in that special Troma way. If Lloyd simply does an introduction... you probably want to steer clear.

Things get off to a great start: homoerotic dialogue, songs about lesbian sex, a broken finger being used as a butt plug, a reference to a pro vs anti bestiality debate in high school... everything one would want from a Troma film. And surprisingly, it more or less holds up over the course of its rather unnecessary 102 minute run time (90 should really be the max for any movie in which a guy literally shits himself out). It drags a bit in spots, and I really thought that I would get rather sick of it after 40 minutes, but I was still laughing and giggling by the time the credits rolled. Of course, the finale features a little girl running around with her mother’s decapitated head and then guzzling a beer, so even if the previous 90 minutes had been terrible, it would have gone out on a high note either way.

I was genuinely surprised at how legitimately funny the movie was too. The gross out gags and such are one thing, but what got me really rolling were the more random moments, like when a guy suddenly launches into a parody of Quint’s Indianapolis speech from Jaws, albeit about chickens in the city of Indianapolis (best line: “We didn’t have cell phones back then... and I couldn’t afford a pager.”). Also, the main character is prone to clueless meta dialogue, thanking his future self for inexplicably knowing so much about him and things of that nature. One line that didn’t really work though was when he says “this ends now!” and then turns to the camera and says “or in 15 minutes”. It wasn’t funny anyway, but it’s not even accurate, there’s another 25 to go at that point (again – the movie could be shorter).

Another bummer is that it stops being a musical after a half hour or so. The songs are cheesy fun, and a welcome change of pace from what could have been a Terror Firmer rehash. But they are dropped out rather unceremoniously, and replaced with rock songs on the soundtrack (the “Dream Police”esque theme song is a winner though). Also, the audio quality on the whole is rather poor – whenever things get loud, the sound drops down as if to adjust itself. Very annoying.

If you notice, I don’t list zombie as one of the genres. That’s because the zombies are only in it briefly, and don’t really do anything. Most of the carnage is caused by chicken-men and bodily fluids. You might be disappointed in the lack of traditional zombie action, but honestly, I never even really noticed until a brief moment near the end when they are tricked into walking away from the restaurant that the entire movie takes place at.

Final nice surprise – Caleb Emerson, of Die You Zombie Bastards fame (DYZB even gets referenced!), plays one of the characters and also worked as an AD. When I reviewed his film, I noted that he had sadly gone onto Splatter Disco, so I am happy to see him rebound with his work here. Let’s hope Uncle Lloyd keeps him around and gives him his own film. Both this and Zombie Bastards represent the type of no-budget indie films I wish I could see more often, instead of bullshit Saw/Hostel clones.

I didn’t get the 2nd disc with all the extras yet, but disc 1 has a great commentary by Lloyd and Nathan Fillion sound-alike Gabriel Friedman, the film’s writer and editor. It’s a great track, as they talk mainly about all the problems and things they needed to overcome when making the film. It was apparently a very tense shoot, with lots of fighting being discusses (or, more accurately, discussed around). And it’s just as funny as the movie: at one point Lloyd alludes to a crewmember demanding more money and “playing a certain card”, to which Friedman replies “A tarot card?”. Disc one also has a bunch of trailers and a music video for the theme song (which I have placed below in lieu of the trailer). When I get disc 2 I will update with whatever I watched. It’s kind of hard because, being a Troma film, it’s not something I can watch openly at work (I listened to the commentary with the movie minimized to the taskbar – luckily it’s not particularly scene-specific).

Obviously the movie’s not for everyone, but if you’re a fan of Toxie or Terror Firmer, it should be right up your alley. And as Lloyd points out, it’s the only 35mm movie made between 2005-2007 that doesn’t have any CGI, so there’s something.

What say you?

PLEASE, GO ON...