några av Er ryggar redan tillbaka.
jag antar det för mängden brev & kommentarer,
både här och ansikte mot ansikte,
om hur obehagliga många av Er tycker att ormar är.
det märkliga är att det funnits en röd tråd i de flesta av Era tankar.
en fascination ändå, förbi rädslan ~ & kanske mest av allt;
en undran inför att, desto mer Ni vill undvika ormen
~ desto mer dyker den upp, är plötsligt precis överallt.
så varför envisas den med att dyka upp ?
vi har haft en del livliga diskussioner här runt middagsbordet,
om djuren som förföljer oss. det är mamma som börjar, som sin frågvishet trogen,
undrar vilka de är, vännernas, döttrarnas, djur ? säger att
det lär nog inte vara det där stolta lejonet.. eller den där magnifika örnen..
{varpå om någon skulle snegla mot min pappa, som jag;
ser åtminstone en som ser snopet & länge ner i sitt vinglas.}
och sedan dyker de plötsligt sakta upp.
mellan glas höjda i skålar & förvånade skratt, vecklas de ut;
små märkliga historier om djur som inte ger sig.
som liksom dyker upp precis överallt.
den första middagen allt det där dök upp på, var för drygt två år sedan.
min fantastiska vän sandra; den eviga, med det eldröda håret,
magiska rösten & världens största hjärta,
utbrister amen vad fasiken.. det är ju spindlar !
d e vill ju inte jag ha ! jag ville ha en vildhäst.. eller en enhörning.
fast det är klart.. d e springer man ju inte på så vidare ofta.
och fortsätter, vänd mot mamma
jaha ?!
vad tycker Du att jag ska göra med det här nu då ?
- Du ska börja mata dem istället, svarar mamma.
som att det är världens mest naturliga sak och
att det vet väl alla; hur man matar spindlar symboliskt.
det märkliga är att sandra, hon verkar faktiskt veta.
ler sitt alldeles speciella, lite beslöjade léende,
fullt av hemliga inre bilder & höjer sitt glas mot mamma.
ett tag efter den där middagen dimper det ner ett brev.
från den eviga, med det eldröda håret,
som fortfarande skickar riktiga brev och jämt & ständigt
tvättar mobiltelefoner i tvättmaskinen av rent ointresse.
det fungerar. står där i brevet. jag matar dem.
och det fungerar.
vi vet det kanske inte då. men när jag ser tillbaka nu,
två år senare, är det alldeles tydligt, spindlar matade symboliskt
eller ej, att min vän med den magiska rösten har förändrat
sitt liv, tagit steg av det slags mod som är något av det
absolut vackraste jag vet; det som förändrar mönster. i grunden.
mönster som förändrar ett sätt att leva, kanske för generationer framåt.
för att någon bestämmer sig för att
det där dåliga, det tar slut med mig.
jag läser om spindelns symbolik, snubblar över den
i jakt på annat, i arbetet, ~ & kan bara le framför
skärmen och skicka henne ett brev..
"Not only do spiders and their webs draw attention to our life choices,
they also give us an overview of how we can manipulate
our thinking in order to construct the life we wish to live.
When we see our decisions, choices and actions as
far-reaching, effective tools in life, ~ we can see how we
weave a web that can either serve us or enslave us.
The spider symbol meaning beckons us
to be mindful of our behaviors, ~be smart about the
life we weave for ourselves."
den senaste middagen de dyker upp på, är för bara några dagar sedan.
lillasyster pratar, något motvilligt, om att hennes är kaninen.
hon tycker inte om det alls, säger hon. de är rädda djur, kaninerna,
~ & så är de mest bara tänder och ett hjärta som slår oroligt fort.
hon berättar att när de plockar & väljer bland sina symbol-kort,
som bär en hel massa djur; alla ’native american’ symbol-värdena,
då lämnar kaninen henne aldrig i fred. den dyker upp varje gång,
vare sig hon tar ett kort, tre eller elva. häromdagen hade hon tröttnat,
stoppat ner kaninkortet djupt ner i en låda för sig, ~ & gått för att handla.
helt i sina egna tankar vaknar hon bryskt upp på trottoaren,
då hon går rakt in i någon. rakt in i en enorm kanin.
en stor man, med enorma öron och hela kostymen,
utklädd för ett jippo i mataffären.
jag hittar kaninen, intill spindeln.
och emma får också ett brev..
"Rabbits love to chew, and their teeth never stop growing.
Symbolically, chewing implies repetition, contemplation,
and breaking concepts down into component parts.
Their diet is light and green, which implies symbolism
of health and prosperity.
Rabbits are burrowers and their deep,
maze-like tunnels symbolize connections with primal energy
as well as mother earth energies.
The rabbit encourages us to retreat within, get warm,
and collect ourselves.
If you’ve held a rabbit, you know their hearts beat very fast
and hence they are often associated with people who have
highly sensitive, extremely alert, and very cautious personalities.
As children, we appreciate and embrace their playful movements.
As adults, we should herald the frivolity and enjoyment
of such a relaxed and uplifted spirit. Rabbits are magical and
mysterious and those relating with this animal totem
are full of life and possess a deep connection
with the sacred, eternal spirit of the earth."
i gränslandet mellan symboler & verklighet,
med en för mig allt suddigare gräns,
in emellan höjda vinglas, avgörande samtal,
~ & trivialiteter, rör vi oss.
hela livet vibrerar av mening & medvetenhet,
av pånyttfödelse, tålamod & förändring.
allt det ormen står för. men ormen är inte djuret
som inte ger sig, eller gett sig, i mitt liv.
är inte djuret som ständigt dyker upp överallt.
’mitt djur’ får finnas här en annan dag.
i dag, drygt 20 kilo pyton. för att utmana rädslor.
för att plötsligt står Du bara där, omslingrad
av något Du trodde att Du var rädd för,
eller något Du inte tagit reda på vad Du ens kände inför.
och Du kan göra inget annat än att njuta. av att Du förändrats.
av att Du släppt taget om en inrutad riktning,
glidit ur den bild som målats upp, - eller utanpå Dig själv
och därmed är fri att växa vidare. alldeles på nytt.
Ni är för jäkla fina Ni.
har jag sagt det på sistone ?
med kärlek,
h
images n°1, 2, 3 & 4 | i do the settings, sara shoots me & i edit
small divider | sara with the snake / music is the one and only nina simone
kimono is full moon lace maxi from upcoming LW indian summer’14
quoted text is lovely read about animal symbols by avia venefica
all imagery © hannah lemholt photography | love warriors
//
some of you will shudder away from this directly.
i’m thinking that because of the amount of letters & comments,
both here and face to face, about just how unpleasant
many of you think snakes, and these photos of one, are.
the thing is that there was a common thread in most of your thoughts.
a fascination still, past the fear, and perhaps most of all;
a wonder in face of the fact that, when you want to avoid the snake more than ever,
~ is suddenly when it seems to emerge anywhere & everywhere.
so why does it insist on showing up?
we’ve had some lively discussions here around dinner tables,
about the animals who keeps following us around.
it’s my mom, who starts it, faithful her inquisitiveness.
wonder which they are, the friends & her daughters, - animals ? says
it most likely won’t be that proud lion.. or that magnificent eagle..
{on which, if someone were to look over at my dad, like me;
sees at least one looking disappointed & deep down into his wine}.
and then suddenly, they start showing up, between glasses raised in toasts,
& astounded looks, surprised laughter, - are unfolded over the table;
strange little stories about animals who doesn’t give up.
who keeps kinda showing up all over the place.
the first dinner they were brought up, was two years ago.
my amazing friend sandra; the eternal one, with the fiery red hair,
the magical voice & the world's biggest heart, exclaims
what the hell.. mine are spiders!
t h o s e are not what i want! i wanted a wild horse .. or a unicorn.
although.. okey.. one doesn’t seem to run into those too often..
and continues, turning to mom
oh well!?
what should i do with all of this now?
- you should start feeding them instead, responds my mom.
as was it the most natural thing and known by all;
how to feed spiders, symbolically speaking.
the thing is that sandra, she actually seems to know.
smiles her very special, hinting at veiled smile,
full of secret inner images and raises her glass to my mom.
a while after that dinner a letter arrives.
from the eternal one, with the fiery red hair,
the one who still sends real letters and constantly & forever
washes mobile phones in the washing machine out of pure disinterest.
it’s working. the letters says. i’m feeding them.
and it’s working.
we might not know it then. but as i look back now,
two years later, it is quite clear, spiders fed symbolically or not,
that my friend with the magical voice has changed her life.
taking steps with the kind of courage that is one of the
absolutely most beautiful i know; that of altering patterns. in essence.
patterns that alter a way of life, perhaps for generations to come.
because someone decides that
the bad things, they end with me.
i read about the spider symbolism, stumble on it in search of other things,
at work, ~ & can only smile at the screen and send her a letter ..
"Not only do spiders and their webs draw attention to our life choices,
they also give us an overview of how we can manipulate
our thinking in order to construct the life we wish to live.
When we see our decisions, choices and actions as
far-reaching, effective tools in life, ~ we can see how we
weave a web that can either serve us or enslave us.
The spider symbol meaning beckons us
to be mindful of our behaviors, ~be smart about the
life we weave for ourselves."
the last dinner they are brought up, is from just a few days ago.
baby sister e talking, somewhat reluctantly, about how hers is the rabbit.
she doesn’t like it at all, she says. they are afraid,
~ & are mostly really just teeth and a heart that beats anxiously fast.
she says that, when they pick & choose among their symbol cards,
carrying a whole bunch of animals; all native american symbolic values,
the rabbit will never leave her alone. it pops up every time,
whether she takes one card, three or eleven.
the other day, she had grown tired of it and threw the rabbit card
deep into a box on its own, ~ & went out, heading for the grocery store.
entirely in her own thoughts, she wakes up abruptly on the pavement,
as she’s walking straight into someone. straight into a huge rabbit.
a big man, with huge ears and the whole rabbit costume,
dressed up for a gimmick in the store.
i find the rabbit, next to the spider.
and emma gets a letter too..
"Rabbits love to chew, and their teeth never stop growing.
Symbolically, chewing implies repetition, contemplation,
and breaking concepts down into component parts.
Their diet is light and green, which implies symbolism
of health and prosperity.
Rabbits are burrowers and their deep,
maze-like tunnels symbolize connections with primal energy
as well as mother earth energies.
The rabbit encourages us to retreat within, get warm,
and collect ourselves.
If you’ve held a rabbit, you know their hearts beat very fast
and hence they are often associated with people who
have highly sensitive, extremely alert, and very cautious personalities.
As children, we appreciate and embrace their playful movements.
As adults, we should herald the frivolity and enjoyment
of such a relaxed and uplifted spirit. Rabbits are magical and
mysterious and those relating with this animal totem
are full of life and possess a deep connection
with the sacred, eternal spirit of the earth."
in the boundary country between symbols and reality,
with, for me, an increasingly blurred divide;
in between raised wine glasses, crucial conversations,
~ & triviality, we move.
the whole life vibrates with meaning and awareness,
with rebirth, patience & change.
all that the snake stands for.
but the snake is not the animal that doesn’t give up in my life.
is not the animal that constantly keeps showing up all over the place.
'my animal' will be a story for another day.
today is 20+ kilo python. to challenge the fears.
to the fact that suddenly you’re just there, entwined
by something you thought you were afraid of,
or you realize you’ve just never found out if you even were.
and you can do nothing but enjoy it. enjoy that you’ve changed.
that you’ve let go of the given bearings,
slipped out of the picture, which was painted up,
- or painted on, outside of yourself
and are consequently free to grow further. all anew.
you’re just amazing people.
did i tell you that lately?
with love,
h