Old Friends

Last night my mum rang and I could tell from her voice that it was bad news. It was. My oldest friend – who has lived in Australia for the last 30 years – has just lost her mother. She went into hospital for a routine assessment and then Lin's Dad got a call to say she'd died.

This has upset me more than I could have believed. I hadn't seen Lin's Mum for about 15 years, and Lin and I don't keep in regular contact (her working hours preclude writing letters or emails) and the time difference – essentially when we're up they're in bed – make phone calls difficult. But her family and mine became intertwined from when we were both 4. As we're now both 51, that's quite a long time.

My mum and hers met at the school gates when Mum was shoving a weeping me into the playground, feeling like a monster. Lin's Mum came up to her and said, “This is my third child and I still feel terrible. Shall we go and have a cup of tea?” And from then on we were all good mates.

So I can only imagine how poor Lin is feeling right now. To lose your mum is bad enough. When you're the other side of the world it's so much worse. Trying to organise her several jobs, looking after all the animals while she's gone – whether to bring her son with her – all these things to take into account – as well as trying to get a flight. And the fact that here - “home” - isn't, of course, and hasn't been for so long.

From my point of view, this is also a sharp and painful nudge as to how I will feel when my own dear Mum goes, and none of us like to be reminded of that sort of thing.

I waited till I thought Lin would be back from work to ring her. For some reason I was extremely nervous – wanting to say the right thing. I dialled, fingers shaking, and listened while the phone rang and rang on the opposite side of the world. I could imagine her coming in, running to grab it – but the answerphone clicked in and that oh so familiar voice apologised for being out and told me to leave a message.

I got as far as, “I've just heard about your mum and I'm so so sorry,” and that was it. Tears welled up and clogged my throat so I could hardly speak. I left a strangled message, put down the phone and wept for her, for her poor dad, for the rest of the family – and for my inability to say the right thing.

But at least she knows that I'm here and that I'll be at the funeral – and that I really do care.

Post Christmas Blues

Here in Falmouth, on Christmas Day what used to be the Docks Choir assemble the far end of town at around 10.20, have a few pints and then set off through the town, stopping at various places to gather and sing. If you haven’t heard a Cornish male voice choir in action, they are incredible. No backing, just pure voices thoroughly enjoying themselves. It really brings tears to your eyes.

They continue through town, where over 1,000 people flocked to watch them, and end up on the Moor for a few pints and a pasty. The atmosphere is wonderful – the very best of Christmas with everyone watching out for old and new friends, all anticipating the holiday. And anticipation can be a wonderful thing.

Over the last few days we’ve seen friends, walked miles and watched some great stuff on TV – anyone else see Ballet Shoes? At Mum’s request, I taped it and we watched it twice…

She had a computer lesson with Himself before she left, and has promised to ring Chris to get her laptop up and running as soon as possible. Various friends of mine who know her are asking for her email address, so the pressure is on. (And contrary to what Himself thinks, she needs that.)

She was upset because she couldn’t find the copy of Ballet Shoes she had as a child, so as part of her lesson she’s just bought her first purchase on Amazon. Well, I bought it but she saw what to do. As a booklover, I can see her Amazon bill mounting up…..

She stayed five days – much longer than she usually is with us – but we’ve had a wonderful time. We don’t always get on so well, but this time just clicked. We had great weather, loads of walks and Himself cooked a lovely roast lamb dinner on Christmas Day in the evening.

After her lesson RT and ET came over to have a cup of tea. It’s RT’s birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY RT!

Mum left half an hour ago and while it will be good to have the place back to normal (she has to sleep on the sofa bed as this is a one bedroom flat), it will suddenly be too quiet and I shall feel bereft.

But the best thing was, we just had fun. And isn’t that what life should be about?