The Expendables 2 (2012)

Title: The Expendables 2 (2012)

Director: Simon West  

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Chuck Norris, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Charisma Carpenter, Nan Yu

Review:

Are you ready for a shot of testosterone? Actually, an overdose of testosterone? Because that’s exactly what your going to get with The Expendables 2, a film with big muscle tanks, shooting and blowing up everything that comes in their paths. After all the death and destruction, they all go for a little bit of male bonding and hang out at their favorite biker bar to smoke a couple of stogies and chug down a couple of beers. This is the kind of films where if you ask a question, they’ll answer it with bullets.

This time around, there isn’t much of a story, but the basic premise goes something like this: the villainous villain named ‘Vilain’ (yup!) has found a hidden cache of plutonium worth about four million dollars. He is using the people of a small town as slaves in order to dig and recover the hidden plutonium. The Expendables are then contacted by a government official named ‘Church’ to try and stop him. This mission should be a walk in the park for them, but could Vilain end up being more of a villain than they bargained for?

So yeah, this movie put a big smile on my face for the whole damn ride. I went to see these aging action stars from the eighties blow stuff up; and they did it very well, in this aspect, the film didn’t disappoint one bit. There’s whole chunks of this film simply dedicated to machine guns being fired none stop for minutes on end. I mean, this movie gets loud! How loud? Well, in the first ten minutes of the film they blow up a helicopter, a tank, a couple of buildings and massacre god knows how many henchmen. They shoot guns, bazookas, machine guns, shot guns, you name it and it gets fired, and that’s just in the opening of the film which by the way is pretty bombastic. They really wanted to open up the film with a bang! It’s a great opening scene because all these aging action stars seem to be having the time of their lives; these characters don’t have a care in their minds, it feels as if these guys shoot their guns knowing that they are invincible.

Which is really part of the films charm, we know they aren’t going to die, we know they are going to blow everything up, beat up the bad guy, save the day and get the girl! It’s how they go about it that counts; it’s the attitude they carry while they do it that matters. In the opening sequence, The Expendables drive around this truck that has a sign that reads ‘Bad Attitude’ and that says it all right there. The fun of watching this movie is really watching these old dudes we grew up with kicking some ass and cracking jokes while doing it. Half of the fun is listening to the banter as they make fun of each other and their action star careers. One of the funniest moments has Arnold and Willis stealing each others catch phrases! Hilarious in deed. Chuck Norris got a big audience reaction when he appeared on screen, but the same happened with all of them. The first time we see Arnold, a smile creeped up on my face when he says "this is embarassing", his appearance in the film is like an unvailing, the first of many surprises to come for 80's action fans. The film grabs you from the very beginning, once you see these guys having so much fun tearing up the place, you just know this is going to be a fun ride. The 'One That Hasn't Aged So Well Award' goes to Jean-Claude Van Damme, who looks like crap when he takes off his glasses, which is probably why he wears them for a huge part of the film and in contrast,  the 'Aging Gracefully Award' goes to Dolph Lundgren, who looks pretty much the same he's always looked, but with a really funny attitude, sam as in the first film, he's character is one of the best things about this sequel. Lundgren should be making more theatrical action films in my opinion. 

He's back! Just like he always said he would! 

Story wise the film is fluffy, and when I say fluffy I mean it really doesn’t even matter. The whole business with the plutonium is just an excuse for blowing shit up; which is fine I guess. I started to wonder what a film like this one would be like if it had a more serious tone to it, but I guess it wouldn’t be what it is if it was more serious in tone. What we like about these films is the goofiness; it reminds us how silly action movies from the 80’s where and how much fun they were to watch. Ever sat down to watch Cobra (1986) or Invasion U.S.A.(1985)? These films are unintentionally hilarious; which means they weren’t made to be funny, back in the day that’s just the way action films were. These films where filled with nonsensical plot lines, indestructible heroes and huge amounts of violence. That’s what the eighties action films where all about, and that’s exactly what you get with The Expendables 2.

On the downside, Chuck Norris walks in and out of the movie in five minutes. It’s great to see him appear and make a few jokes about him being ‘The Lonewolf’ but I wish he’d been a more integral part of the film, same goes for Jet Li who is in the film only for the opening sequence, though he does have his moment to shine. I guess theres so many characters that some of them have to be sacrificed in the altar of screen time. Still, this film is bigger, louder and more explosive then the first Expendables film. I’m looking forward to the inevitable sequel, which considering how much money this ones making at the box office is a sure thing. I hear they are going to try and get Clint Eastwood and Nicholas Cage to appear in the film which would be awesome, let’s hope it happens. Steven Segal’s also been M.I.A. in this series. Also, I hope Wesley Snipes gets out of jail in time to make it for the next sequel as well, I have to say he’s been sorely missed in this series. All in all, Expendables 2 is a solid slice of 80’s style action, recommend it for a night of mindless, nostalgic fun.  

Rating: 4 out of 5

The Mechanic (2011)

Title: The Mechanic (2011)

Director: Simon West

Cast: Jason Statham, Ben Foster, Donald Sutherland

Review:

So Jason Statham is trying his best to establish himself as THE action star of his generation, cause let’s face it, there aren’t many of those hovering around Hollywood, I mean not to the level of past action stars like Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Bronson and Norris. What actor’s are currently trying to establish themselves as the new generation of action stars? Well, let’s see, there’s The Rock (a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson) who has decided to work for Disney now making films like Race to Witch Mountain (2009). I get it though. He’s trying to do what Schwarznegger did when he started to make comedies like Twins (1988) and Kindergarten Cop (1990). But come on, Tooth Fairy (2010)? That’s pushing things a little too far; almost too far. He is attempting to make a comeback to action with films like Faster (2010) and Fast Five (2011), but is it too late? The Rock still has to prove himself in my book; he still has to make that ‘great action film’ that will place him on the legendary action star status. Same goes for Vin Diesel, but again, with the possible exception of the Riddick films (which I love) none of his films are half as good as the ones made by the good old guys. And there in lies the problem with all these new action stars. They are just not making good films. Or even memorable ones. Statham I can respect a bit more because, right from the very beginning, he hasn’t stopped making action films. Statham’s got the persona, the looks, the attitude, the cool of an action star. Because an action star’s got to have the cool, there’s no denying that. Yet, I don’t feel Statham has made that great action film either. So here comes The Mechanic, a remake of Michael Winner’s The Mechanic (1972), yet another attempt of Statham’s to solidify himself as this generations action star. How was it?

Story is all about a hired killer called Arthur Bishop. Arthur is methodical in his killings; he makes them look like accidents, and he is in and out like the wind. No one knows he was even there. In Arthur’s own words: “What I do requires a certain mindset. I do assignments; designated targets. Some jobs need to look like accidents. Others must cast suspicion on someone else. A select few need to send a clear message. Pulling a trigger is easy. The best jobs are the ones nobody even knows you were there.” But one day he is asked to kill his mentor, the man who taught him everything about being an assassin. Unfortunately, one of his own rules is to follow the orders of his superiors no matter what, so he does it. And here comes the complication, Steve his ex-mentors son (not knowing that Bishop killed his father) befriends Bishop and wants to learn all about being an assassin. So Bishop, out of guilt decides to take the young dude and teach him everything he knows. Will Steve ever know that it was Bishop who killed his father? It's this question that drives the film, and makes the Bishop/Steve team an uneasy alliance. One thing I will say about this film, I enjoyed the chemistry between Statham and Foster's characters. Many go as far as to say that Foster steals the film from Statham in some ways, and as far as the acting goes, I have to say I agree. 

I see what Statham’s trying to do by remaking a Charles Bronson film, and I get it. Just by doing a remake of a Bronson film he is trying to associate himself with Bronson’s now legendary legacy. I mean for those not in the know, Bronson was the ass kicker of his day, the silent type you didn’t want to mess with or you were going to pay, especially if you were a criminal. I mean, Bronson’s the guy behind Death Wish (1974)! Statham’s just trying to get some of that Bronson attitude rub off on him. Or maybe he just wants his name mentioned along side Bronson’s in every single review for this film in this way saying ‘I’m this generations Charles Bronson, how do you like them apples?’ Which is all fine and dandy, I mean trying to be the next Bronson isn’t a bad thing, but if you want to be Bronson, then goddamn it don’t water down the remake. Though to be honest, in these politically correct times we live in, the watering down of action/horror films shouldn’t surprise anyone. It’s a common thing these days. Face it my friends, action/horror films just aren’t the same these days. One look at action films of the 70’s and 80’s and you’ll see what I mean. Take one night and watch Death Wish (1974), Robocop (1987), Total Recall (1990) and Lethal Weapon (1987) and tell me you don’t see the marked difference. To use a tired phrase, they just don’t make them like that anymore. Was The Mechanic a victim of the watered down American action film?

 Well, in some ways yes and in some ways no. Statham’s character is still a killer, but he only kills ‘bad guys’. He kills drug dealers and evil religious leaders who take advantage of their flock. He kills gangsters and hitmen, and you know how it goes with killing hitmen, “no matter what you do to them, you don’t feel bad”. So Statham plays it safe like that. Another marked difference between this film and the original is that Bronson played his mechanic as a guy feeling the ravages of age, he knows he is getting old, he knows that his days are numbered so he is looking for someone to accompany him on his missions and ease his workload. On the remake Statham is practically The Terminator. He is untouchable, nothing is going to happen to him because he is Jason Statham and nothing touches him on his films. He reminded me of Chuck Norris in Invasion U.S.A. (1985), you know, totally indestructible. There is no vulnerability to Statham’s Bishop. Contrary to the original, this film plays by Hollywood’s rules: Nothing happens to the good guy, and above all things, the good guy cannot die. But here’s something that Bronson knew while making his film: he knew he wasn’t playing the proverbial good guy, he was a bad guy, playing by his own rules. You play a game of death, you expose yourself to death itself, you are always living under the assumption that you might bite the bullet at any moment. Statham mechanic doesn’t have that vulnerability. He is a killer, yet he lives in a mansion, he lives without a conscience apparently because he looks so calm and happy whenever he isn’t out there killing. Come on dude, you’re a killer. And your training a young lad in the ways of assassination, grow some fucking attitude, take some risks with your character. Surprise the audience. As it is, the film holds no surprises. Statham is indestructible, a killer with no conscience for his actions. For all intents and purposes, he is a robot. Indestructible action heroes can be fun to watch in cheesy action flicks, but this film plays it dead serious, there’s no fun to be had here. This wasnt supposed to be the kind of film that had the indestructible action star, this was to be the one about the troubled, angst ridden protagonist, trying to face issues of his own mortality.   

The most cliche scene you could put in your action film: The protagonist walking away from an explosion

But don’t get me wrong; in spite of this remake being a bit different then the original, it’s still a decent action flick with some cool action sequences. The fist fights are pretty intense, one takes place inside of a bus, I liked the closed quarters fighting in those scenes, there’s also a cool fight on top of a building which will give some watchers vertigo. It didn’t seem like they were using a lot of CGI in those sequences, kudos to them for that. Simon West the director behind Con Air (1997) and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) delivers a slick looking action flick that is technically superior to the original, but lacks any of the balls that Bronson’s film had. The original mechanic was a more cerebral film, it even dealt with existentialist issues. Can we live in society under our own rules? Can we live in our own mind and ignore the world we live in? And what are the consequences of living by our own rules in this world? These were the questions pondered in the original yet completely ignored by the remake. The remake is just another action film. The original was bleak, dark and void of a happy ending. Sadly, this new Mechanic is playing by Hollywood’s rules rather than its own, but still, you know, watchable.

Rating: 3 out of 5 

Ben Foster says: "I can walk away from explosions too!"