Mars Attacks! (1996)

Title: Mars Attacks! (1996)

Director: Tim Burton

Cast: Pam Grier, Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Tom Jones, Jim Brown, Lukas Haas, Natalie Portman, Lisa Marie

Review:

Back in 1994, Tim Burton directed Ed Wood, a film that pays loving homage to science fiction and horror film director Edward Wood Jr., a director better known as ‘the worst director who ever lived’. One look at his movies and you’ll agree, Ed Wood wasn’t the best filmmaker in the world. But any film buff will tell ya that all the things that make a film like Plan 9 From Outer Space (1957) a ‘bad movie’ are the very same elements that make it a completely watchable film. I like seeing those strings hanging from the toy flying saucers, I like seeing the set falling apart as the actors walk through it, I like those random scenes of Bela Lugosi doing things that had nothing to do with the story, I liked the unnecessary, yet wildly entertaining voice over. These are the elements that give Plan 9 From Outer Space its charm, because even through all that, at its core, there’s a message, it says something, it’s good intentions cannot be ignored. It’s in that spirit that Tim Burton made Mars Attacks!, a film that Ed Wood would have made himself if he was still alive and had 70 million dollars to spare.

Mars Attacks begins in the dark recesses of space, as we follow an armada of thousands of Martian spaceships headed directly towards earth. We are then presented with the many characters that we’ll follow throughout the movie, characters who will no doubt converge at some point in the story. So we get Louise Williams (Pamela Grier) a bus driver and stern mother of two. We get Byron Williams (Jim Brown) an ex-boxer who is trying to get back with his wife and kids before the Martians attack. We get Jack Nicholson playing two roles, one as the president of the United States, and another as a gambler/empresario whose looking to open up his new hotel and casino, which by the way looks like a giant flying saucer. Basically, we meet a bunch of characters all living different lifestyles, who have to deal with the fact that these Martians do not come in peace, they come to take over! They’ve come to attack! Is humanity doomed to destruction by little green men?

I watched Mars Attacks in theaters way back in ’96 when it was first released and I remember feeling really strange after seeing it. I’d seen it with my parents and I remember them saying something like “I don’t feel like I saw a movie”. My reaction was a bit different. I remember thinking it was undoubtedly a strange movie and I remember leaving the theater with this weird feeling of ‘what did I just watch?’ But I also couldn’t deny I had enjoyed it. I like Tim Burton when he does films like this one, films where he doesn’t give a crap what anybody is going to think, he just does what he finds entertaining, which is often times goofy and offbeat. I mean, can you deny that Beetlejuice (1986) is one of the weirdest movies you ever saw? No you can’t; but you can’t deny that it’s quite entertaining either. Sadly, Burton isn’t making films like these anymore, right now, his films play it safe. Though recently, Frankenweenie (2012) did manage to bring back some of that old Burton weirdness I love so much, I miss the old Tim Burton, the one who would wallow in his weirdness. I haven’t seen a truly risky Tim Burton film in a long while. I wish he’d do it more often; Burton works best when he does his own thing, left to his own devices. Mars Attack has that feeling going for it. It’s a film that isn’t afraid to go all the way bonkers. This is a big budget film that’s purposely showing its b-movie sensibilities, which of course spells awesome for me.

How bonkers is this movie? Well, for starters the movie is based on a series of Topps trading cards composed of 55 trading cards that came out circa 1962. These little cards would show gruesome depictions of Martians eradicating the human race. These might be little trading cards that fit into the palm of your hand, but they sure packed lots of gruesomeness! So much so that Topps had to cancel the trading cards out of public outcry! So these cards had an edge! I don’t think they were entirely aimed at kids, though I’m sure it was the kids that bought them. The film retains some of that gruesomeness without going into ‘R’ territory. This is why we get to see people smashing giant Martian brains, with green ooze slipping out and Martians doing all sorts of weird experiments on humans; like giving Sarah Jessica Parker the body of a Chihuahua, so these Martians have a meanness to them! The cards also had a bit of a sexual vibe going for them which on the film translated to Martians checking out playboy magazine. The film retains the spirit of the cards, sometimes while watching the movie you’ll feel like you’re watching a snapshot coming straight from the Topps card series. 

Another element that makes the movie interesting is that almost everyone is famous in one form of another! This is a star studded cast filled with cameos left and right. Thing is that most of these cameos are extended, they aren’t five minute cameos. Instead, you get to see quite a bit of each of the actors who appear on the film. I liked that about it, we go from Jack Blacks white thrash family, to Michael J. Fox’s stale marriage to Sarah Jessica Parker, to the President of the United States deciding if he should  nuke the Martians or not. It’s one of those movies with a lot of stories going on, but at some point they all come together. Jack Nicholson is absolutely amazing here as a businessman/gangster called Art Land, “I’m not a crook, I’m ambitious, there’s a difference!” He’s this sleazy drunkard who wants to open a new hotel; boy Nicholson really got into that character! He made me laugh on a regular basis, I was surprised to see him so game in a movie of this nature. Even Tom Jones shows up to kick some Martian ass! Natalie Portman plays the president’s daughter in one of her earliest roles, it's always fun to see artists who have become great (like Portman) doing their earliest stuff. Here we also get to see Jack Black taking his first baby steps as an actor. 

Tim Burton’s always displayed an admiration for stop motion animation, his first short ever was a stop motion animated feature called ‘Vincent’. Burton’s also produced and directed various stop animation films like Nightmare Before Christmas, The Corpse Bride and most recently Frankenweenie, so it didn’t surprise me when I found out that Burton originally wanted to bring the Martians to life through the use of stop motion animation Unfortunately, the studio wanted to cut down the budget of the film so stop motion animation was eliminated from the project, plus, the special effects crew convinced Burton they could pull the effects off with computers, so Burton went with the CGI. Gotta wonder what the film would have been like had Burton used stop motion animation. So anyways, overall, with this kind of film you either get it or you don’t, it’s a love it or hate it movie. If you love 50’s science fiction films, trading cards, comic books, and the plain bizarre side of life, chances are you’ll get this movie. The rest of the world just won’t get it, which is probably why this film underperformed at the box office.  It didn’t lose money, but it didn’t make a significant profit either. But who cares about all that noise, the movie is fun times. At its core is an anti-war message: while fear mongers want to nuke the hell out of the Martians, the humble people of the world want to save the earth by other peaceful means. I highly recommend Mars Attacks! to those who enjoy a good laugh.

Rating: 4 out 5

Solarbabies (1986)

Title: Solarbabies (1986)

Director: Alan Johnson

Cast: Richard Jordan, Jami Gertz, Jason Patric, Lukas Haas, James LeGros

Review:

Solarbabies is one of the few post apocalyptic movies made specifically for kids. The only other one that I can really think of is City of Ember (2008), but correct me If I’m wrong here. Because Solarbabies was aimed at kids, it's a bit sillier than your typical post apocalyptic film. This silliness can also be attributed to the fact that Solarbabies comes straight out of the eighties, where movies were sillier, and yeah, for lack of a better word 'cornier'. Some of these eighties films really make you wonder how they were ever greenlit, but that’s precisely why I love 80’s stuff; they had the guts to be really cuh-razy!  How nuts is this movie? Well, just the fact that it’s a sci-fi film produced by Mel Brooks makes it zany enough in my book; and it’s not even a comedy! Well, at least not intentionally so. This is a film I used to watch a lot back when I was a kid; but even with my nostalgia goggles on, I couldn’t get passed the fact that this wasn’t a very good movie.

Solarbabies tells the story of a group of kids who live in this Nazi-like orphanage in the middle of a post apocalyptic dessert wasteland. This orphanage exists solely for creating soldiers for ‘The Protectorate’. In this place, kids are indoctrinated in the ways of submission and violence. They are allowed to roller-skate in certain designated areas while huge television screens play government films that tell them what to think and how to behave. They tell them things like “Behavior determines existence. Stick with us, learn to serve The Order and you’ll achieve a decent life-grid” In other words, freedom for these kids is out of the question; but is there something else out there in the post apocalyptic wasteland for them? At the same time, the Nazi like government has control over every drop of water on the planet. When will water be free for everyone? One day, a magical glowing sphere called ‘Bohdi’ falls from the skies and befriends the kids. The magical sphere is alive! It performs miracles! And it likes to play Rollerball! Will ‘Bohdi’ help these kids escape the oppression?

Solarbabies is like a who’s who of 80’s teen idols. We get the always beautiful Jami Gertz who once again  works next Jason Patric’s who does his first performance in a film on this one. Jamie Gertz and Jason Patric apparently got along so well that they later collaborated again on The Lost Boys (1988), one o the most recognized vampire films of the 80’s. Their characters fall in love in both movies, which leads us to believe their might have been something else going on behind cameras? We also get James LeGros’s first performance ever, I remember him for his participation in films like Phantasm II (1988) and Near Dark (1987) and speaking of Near Dark, actor Adrian Pasdar who plays the character of ‘Darstar’ on Solarbabies also appeared in Near Dark, which by the way is another great vampire film from the 80’s. Lukas Haas was the child actor of the moment at the time, he had already worked with Harrison Ford on the critically acclaimed film Witness (1985). And interestingly enough, Solarbabies would mark Lukas Haas second foray into post apocalyptic films, his first one being the highly dramatic television film Testament (1983), where he acted along side Kevin Costner. So I think it’s safe to say that Solarbabies is filled with what were the ‘it’ kids in Hollywood at the time. Some of them would go on to have great careers and appear in great films, others would disappear into obscurity.

The film has many faults going against it, most of which have to do with logic. Here’s one for you, the kids live in a Nazi like concentration camp, which is protected by armed cops and cars and watchtowers and all that, but when the time comes to escape, the kids simply waltz right out of the place, no fuss, no problems. Nobody even tries to stop them; they simply roller-skate their way out of the place. They leave the place screaming “We’re free! We did it! Yay!” Hey kids, newsflash: all you had to do was roller-skate out of there, apparently you were never really prisoners to begin with. And that’s another thing, in this world, every single place has a flat surface for them to skate in, even the open dessert! First their mission is to escape The Protectorate, but then by the end of the film their mission becomes going right back to the place they first ran away from! And they waltz right back in again, without any weapons or anything! These kids skate into a Nazi like concentration camp with only hockey sticks in hands! Nothing more! What else is up with this movie?

The film borrows heavily from Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome (1986) and Dune (1984), but mostly from Dune. Let’s see, characters live in a dessert like planet, where water is a precious commodity. We have a group of people who live out in the open dessert called the Eco-Warriors, protectors of water and freedom…damn, this sounds a lot like the Fremen from Dune! Heck, there is this one scene that was ripped off directly from Dune in which a character puts his hand on a device that apparently burns the skin off of his hand, but then he realizes it never really happened, it was all in his mind. It was all his own fears playing with him; same as that test they perform on Paul Atreides on David Lynch’s Dune. There is a town on this film called ‘Tire Town’ which looks and feels a heck of a lot like ‘Barter Town’ from Beyond Thunderdome, plus there's the similarity of having kids survive alone in the wasteland, just like the crazy kids from Thunderdome. And then there’s the evil dictator controlling the land, which is kind of like a staple in most post apocalyptic films. Tank Girl (1995) for example has the same exact premise of an evil Nazi like government controlling all the left over water in a dessert like planet. 

  

But the thing I hated the most about this movie is that it functions in the same way as the Chronicles of Narnia films work: they are a metaphor for believing in Baby Jesus and Christianity in general. That’s right, this movie is all about Christianity, and any movie that propagates the idea of religion goes down a couple of notches in my book. Let’s see. The kids are oppressed, but a magical being comes down from the heavens to help them! It performs miracles, cures decease, makes it rain inside of a room, for all intents and purposes the magical sphere on this movie is Jesus. Sometimes the sphere is not with them, but “they can feel it”, the overall idea being that Bohdi (the magical alien sphere) is always with them and will always be with them. The magic of the ball unites them, they are always ultra happy whenever the ball is with them. One moment in the film has Jason Patric’s character (daftly enough also named Jason) talk to Bohdi telling it that he doesn’t know what it is, but he wants to believe. Characters have these questions about Bohdi, in the same way that people question the existence of God. In the end, to me both Bohdi and Jesus are the same thing: imaginary beings performing miracles that can only come to life through the magic of fiction. Be it a book, or a movie, these miracles never happen in real life.

The Power of Bohdi Unites Them!

In the end, Solarbabies in a mess of a movie with a bunch of disparate ideas that are never really followed through completely; for example, take those Eco-Warriors, why didn’t they go against the system instead of letting all these kids do it by themselves? Could it be that it would cost too much money to present the idea of an army? This group of Warriors we only meet briefly then they disappear from the film entirely. Same with another group of warriors that live out in the dessert. They are presented, and eliminated in the blink of an eye. So we have a movie that’s all over the place in terms of story and plot, it goes from one place to the next without any natural flow. We jump from one plot point to the next with childish enthusiasm “Let’s go! Let’s do it! Yay!” This film simply throws logic out the window. Ultimately, even though I enjoyed watching this one as a child, I ended up not enjoying it so much as an adult because it has so many faults going for it. But then again, this film was directed by a choreographer, a guy named Alan Johnson. Apparently Johnson convinced his pal Mel Brooks to fund the film; Johnson had directed Brook’s To Be Or Not To Be (1983), so they already had a professional relationship. By the way To Be Or Not To Be is the only other film in Johnsons repertoire. In my eyes Johnson is a great choreographer, but not a great director which is probably why he’s never directed again. Or maybe he’s never directed again because because Solarbabies was such a huge flop, take your pick. Solarbabies cost about 8 million to make, but only made 1.5 million back; sad indeed. Still, I think kids would enjoy this film, I know I did when I was about 10. I’d also recommend it to all those Christian parents out there who want to help their kids get used to the idea of a magical imaginary being that’s always looking out for you in life. My kids will be watching Mad Max Beyond Thundedome instead (1985).

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 

Lady In White (1988)

Title: Lady in White (1988)

Director: Frank LaLoggia

Cast: Lukas Haas, Katherine Helmond, Jason Presson, Joelle Jacobi, Len Cariou, Alex Rocco

Review:

Lady in White was one of my childhood favorites; I remember seeing this one when I was about 12 or 13 years old and being spooked by it a bit, but at the same time intrigued enough to see it all the way to the end. It’s the perfect introduction to the world of horror films because for a horror film, it’s not too scary, it unfolds like a fairy tale and it’s told from the point of view of a child. It’s one of those movies whose mystery captures you and you know you just have to see it through to the end. To me Lady in White had a Spielbergian flair to it. Why? Well, the film takes place in a suburban neighborhood in New York, the kids go riding their bikes through the back woods, and part of the film takes place during Halloween, all elements that we’d seen before in a couple of Spielberg’s films, most notably E.T. The Extraterrestrial (1982). Also, the film is told from the point of view of Frankie, a boy who ends up trying to solve a whopper of a mystery! Spielberg directed and produced many films aimed at the pre-teen age demographic. I’m talking about films like E.T., Richard Donner’s The Goonies (1985) and Joe Dante’s Explorers (1985). Actually, one of the young actors on Lady in White (the one who plays Frankie’s older brother) is Jason Presson, one of the three adventurous kids from Explorers. So this is a film aimed at kids, yet it's also a film that deals with some very adult issues.

 Lady in White tells the story of little Frankie Scarlatti, a kid who leads a pretty normal life. He lives with his family, his father, his grandparents, his older brother. It’s Halloween, and he’s got his Dracula costume ready to go, he’s carrying his hollowed pumpkin with him and his written a special Halloween story to read to all his friends on ‘Show and Tell’. But unfortunately, two of his friends decided to pull a prank on him and lock him up inside of the classroom closet. He spends the night there all alone and to his surprise, he witnesses the ghostly apparition of a little girl. The little girls’ ghost reenacts her murder and Frankie sees the whole thing! But who murdered her? At the request of the little girls’ ghost, Frankie decides to uncover who was responsible for her death all those years ago.

 What I like about nostalgic films is that with the right director, they can capture that magic, innocence and feeling of wonderment that one has at that age. Not only that, if you do this kind of film right, both kids and adults will be able to enjoy it. In my opinion, Lady in White did that to perfection. It is a very nostalgic film and obviously a very personal one as well. This is the kind of film where you feel that the writing was coming straight from memory, from little snippets and experiences that the writer had during his childhood. It has that nostalgic vibe that you find in films like Rob Reiner’s Stand By Me (1986), where the film is obviously siphoned through the memory of the writer. In Stand By Me, the memories came from Stephen King’s own life experiences. The film might have fantasy or horror elements in it, but the setting feels authentic because it comes from real life. Lots nostalgic feelings can be found in Lady in White; a film in which we hear the voice of an adult (a grown up Frankie Scarletti) talking in retrospect, remembering what it was like to be a kid growing up in an Italian American family, in New York during the early 60’s. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that the films main character is called ‘Frankie’, same name as the films writer/director Frank La Loggia.

La Loggia set out to make a film against the Hollywood system. The desire to make a film on his own, without any studio interference came from his experiences directing a supernatural horror film called Fear No Evil (1981), coincidently I saw Fear No Evil in theaters when I was about 6 years old and it scared the crap out of me back then. It was a film about a high school student who ends up being the anti-Christ; it was kind of like a low budget version of The Omen. La Loggia directed that film, but ultimately, the studio took it from him so it could be “reworked by others”. So when he set out to make Lady In White, he swore that he’d do it on his own terms without anyone telling him to do his picture this way or that way. And that he did. He got funding on his own (about 5 million dollars) and directed his film without any studio interference whatsoever. So what we get with Lady in White is a film that turned out  exactly how the director envisioned it from the very beginning. La Loggia says that he was trying to bring a truthful depiction of childhood to the film, I think he succeeded. Lukas Haas, the child actor seen in Peter Weir’s Witness (1985) gives a great performance as Frankie. He was probably chosen to play Frankie in Lady in White because in Witness, he also played a little boy who witnesses a murder. Haas lends an honest and charming performance in Lady in White; it has an air of vulnerability to it.   

   

 But aside from the nostalgia factor, this flick is a very spooky ghost story with some ultra creepy images. The effects might be a little dated, but honestly, the story was unraveling so well that it didn’t bother me at all. Lady in White also deals with some very adult issues like racism, familial bonds, child molestation and loss. If you look at this film, almost every character has suffered some sort of loss in one way or another. What I love about this movie is that it deals with all these themes and at the same time, it doesn’t forget to be a great ghost film. Spooky to the max! This is a perfect film to watch on   Halloween Night!

Rating: 5 out of 5