This comparison between Robocop (1987) and Robocop (2014)comes
from a hardcore Robocop fan, who truly freaking loved the original. I mean,
when that first movie came out, it was the talk of the town, I remember. All my
buddies and I could talk about was Robocop and how cool it was. How awesome was
Robocop to me? Well, this is how cool: I made a mini comic that was a parody of
Robocop! I called it ‘Bobocop’, the series went on for five whole issues! My 12
year old self loved this ‘R’ rated film, I worshiped this freaking movie.
Thinking back, I was a pretty tough kid, I mean, I loved this hardcore ‘R’
movie that included scenes of drug abuse, nudity and hardcore gore! I mean,
here’s a movie where Alex Murphy, a Detroit City cop literally gets his brains
blown out by the bad guys! But then again, that’s what I liked about it; how
over the top it was. How hardcore was Robocop? Well, let me put it this way, in
the original film, when the Robocop project gets green lit, the guy who was
spearheading the project goes and gets a couple of hookers, sprays some cocaine
on their breasts and snorts away to celebrate his success! Want more? Well, in
that first film, a bad guy gets a vat of chemicals poured on him and we see his
flesh melt off his bones! Basically, this movies modus operandi was called
overkill. And you know what? That’s the way I liked it! That was director Paul
Verhoeven’s way, many of the movies he made during the 80's and 90's were always over the top with their violence. If
you don’t believe me, then check out Total Recall (1989), a film that was
criticized for its bucket loads of blood and disregard for human life.
Paul Verhoeven directs
But it’s like Verhoeven says, the violence in these movies is
an exaggeration of real life, cartoonish in some ways, in other words, it’s all
in good fun. Which is exactly what I loved about
Verhoeven’s Robocop, the shock value. And let’s talk a bit about that, I didn’t watch a film like Robocop for how deep it was or how it touched upon
what it means to be a human, as a kid I devoured Verhoeven’s film for the cheap
thrills, the shock value, that jolt of electricity that you get when Robocop
slashes Clearance Boddicker’s throat. It’s what made these movies
fun. Not that I’m some sort of blood thirsty violent person, I’m actually quite
the peace loving dude, but I love the shock in movies like Robocop, it was
never, not for one second boring! Of course, I also loved that science fiction
angle; I loved that Robocop was a cyborg and I loved ED-209. In the end, to my
twelve year old mind, Robocop was an irresistible mix of science fiction,
action and shock, what’s not to love? And I’m not just talking
through my nostalgia goggles here, I still think Verhoeven’s Robocop is a solid
film with an amazing cast in every single role. Heroes took chances and risks, I mean, Alex Murphy was a brave guy! So was Lewis.
The villains where scary dudes, Clearance Boddicker, that guy was really evil
in that movie, it took me a while to see that actor as anything but the villain
from Robocop. You felt a certain kind of energy through their performances,
which is something I didn’t get from the new one. Everyone is so one note on
this new film, it was nauseating! Where was the anger and fury on these people?
Doesn’t anybody feel? Point is the old Robocop was an intense, solid film all
around. The action was so intense and in
your face, it just felt real.
In contrast, this new Robo does not deliver the same levels
of intensity, which is sad. Now, when I first heard about the news of a
Robo-remake I was excited as hell because I’d been needing a new dose of Robo
action. I wanted more Robocop, even if it was through a remake. I was thrilled with the prospect of a new Robo film, and I have to admit that in certain moments of the new film I was genuinely excited to see Robocop again, unfortunately
the cons outweigh the pros on this one. Of
course, as it is always the case when the remake of a beloved franchise is
announced, film buffs and geeks all across the world shouted sacrilege. I’m
not the type to immediately hate a remake because as I’ve said a thousand times
before, there’s the off chance that it might be one of the good ones. I was seeing a lot of good things in the previews. In all fariness, the remake does not warrant the intense hatred it’s been getting. It actually
has some good ideas. For example, I liked that whole idea about the United
States using robots to invade (read: conquer) other countries, the military
applications for Robocop where not ignored, this is an element we never saw in previous Robocop films. They dwelled a whole lot more on
the technological advances that allow these
people to merge a man with a robot. They explored the ideas of what
makes a cyborg a cyborg a whole lot more than on Verhoeven’s film. But then
again, therein lies part of the problem; while the first film glazed over a lot
of the logic in order to make room for the fun stuff, this one wants to be a
bit more cerebral.
They spend too much screen time explaining everything; which
by the way is something that a lot of films are doing nowadays; they analyze
things to death. The original film didn’t explain everything about Robocop, we were
meant to take certain things for granted, we found our own explanations in our
minds. We as an audience connected the dots in our heads. Not so on this new
film where they explore ideas to death. The problem with that is that after seeing Verhoeven’s Robocop and
watching this new one, I swear I felt like a junkie with freaking withdrawal
symptoms, I needed my jolt of shock! I needed that fun factor turned up!
Sadly, this is a problem with films nowadays, they want to be so politically
correct that they are no longer fun. They don’t want Alex Murphy to say fuck,
they don’t want drugs, they don’t want blood, they don’t want gore…we my friends are living in an age where
action films are being sensored, the action film as we knew it no longer exists. We are living in an age where films
simply have no guts. I know that studios want to make more money, and that
making films PG-13 is a way to do that, but damn, seriously, is every single
thing that Hollywood makes going to be watered down? Is everything going to be
made for pre-teens?
And here’s part of the problem with the
Robocop franchise,
it started out as a hardcore action franchise for adults. The first two films
were ‘R’ rated sci-fi films for adults, but once they got to the third one,
well, the owners of the Robo franchise decided to turn it into a franchise for
kids. By then they had made Saturday morning cartoons of Robocop, a television
series, toys, video games and even comic books, all made for children, which
makes no sense whatsoever. I mean, why would you want to make a cartoon series
for children based on a movie where Robocop’s creator snorts cocaine from the breasts
of a prostitute? You know what I mean? From inception
Robocop was a very adult
series of films, but Hollywood thinks Robots, and they immediately think kids
and toys. Which is the reason why by the time the franchise arrived to its
third film, well, Robocop had a little kid sidekick. It was also by the third
film that the studio decided to make
Robocop a PG-13 franchise. And you know
how that story goes,
Robocop 3 (1993) turned out to be the worst film in the franchise
because it wasn’t the Robocop that we knew and loved, it was by then, a watered
down version of the first film.
More of this please!
Which, I’m sad to say is what we get with this new Robocop
film. This is not to say the film doesn’t have its moments. I mean, I love
Robocop itself, how he looks when he puts the visor on and aims his gun is
positively cool. I loved seeing Robocop in action, sadly there’s not enough
action to be had, and what action we do get, is computer generated. On the
first film when Robocop gets shot to death by all those cops, you can
practically taste the gun powder and the shards of glass, you felt an intensity
in Peter Weller’s performance, even through the helmet. Weller’s eyes and mouth
expressed the pain; I felt sympathy for Robocop in those scenes! On the new one I didn’t feel for the character.
Joel Kinnaman was a bad choice to play Robocop, it’s the biggest bit of
miscasting since John Cusack playing Nixon in The Butler (2013). I felt no
sympathy for this Robocop because I didn’t care for the guy, there were no moments
in the film where I connected with the character. In the first we felt we were Alex Murphy, a cop out on a new turf, Detroit. On this film the city is not a character and neither are the people who inhabit it, in the old one Detroit was a hell hole you did not want to live in. And then there's Kinnaman, why fill a movie with all these stars and then leave the most important
role in the film to a complete unknown? You know how much better Robocop is
because Peter Weller’s in it? A whole lot better! I’m sorry, but Kinnaman even
looks goofy in his robo gear. And speaking of Robo gear, I was willing to give
the film a chance in this department, but the black was a bad choice. Here’s
the thing, they should’ve left him looking all metallic, whenever Robocop looks
metallic in the new film, everything was so much better! If it aint broke don’t
fix it. Robocop is not black, he’s metallic!
One of the biggest problems with the film is that nothing
feels tangible or intense, the film felt as cold as the robots it portrays. My
advice to Hollywood is: stop doing entire films in CGI! However cool you guys
think everything looks, things just don’t feel real. Use freaking computer
animation sparingly dammit! The minute I saw a computer generated Robocop
jumping through the air in the previews, I knew something was rotten in
Denmark. So my final say on this is that the first film is still superior in
every single way possible. I gave this one a chance; I gave it the
benefit of the doubt and while it has some cool moments and shots, the film as
a whole felt like it was missing what made the old one so much fun to watch,
Hollywood is an old man afraid to have fun these days. When it started,
Robocop
was a concept made for adults, it had biting satyre! I mean, beneath all that
shock and action, the film made fun of society. Basically, what happened with
this new
Robocop remake is the same thing that happened with the
Total Recall (2012)
remake, while enjoyable to some extent, they took away the edgy, fun elements, it brings down the film if you ask me, it makes it less than what it was.
And you know what I say to that? Boo, is what I say. I want my fun movies back.
Bring back the freaking eighties because I don’t like what action films have
become. Simply put: they don’t feel like action films anymore. If you want to
see what all the hoopla is about go see this new
Robocop movie, I’m not calling
it a bad film, I’m calling it a watered down version of its former self. Shame
on you Hollywood, you know what we want, you’ve just decided not to give it to
us.
Robocop (1987): 5 out of 5
Robocop (2014): 2 out of 5
