Alien: Covenant (2017)

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Director: Ridley Scott

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Danny McBride, Demian Bichir, Guy Pierce, James Franco, Noomi Rapace

Ridley Scott’s Alien (1979), is one of those seminal horror films that changes the face of a genre so much, that it marks the way the genre will be for years and years to come. How many movies have imitated the style, the look of Ridley Scott’s original monster movie? Many that’s how many.I could write a list of films that look and play out exactly like it: Alien Contamination (1980), Galaxy of Terror (1981), Outland (1981), Leviathan (1989), Event Horizon (1997)…and the list goes on and on. Ridley Scott left that Alien franchise after having directed that first film and the sequels that followed were directed by talented directors that took each film in totally different directions, which is why I love this franchise, each director has put his stamp on each film, so they are all extremely different. Now if we fast forward a few decades, things have come full circle. Now Ridley Scott has retaken the franchise as if saying “this is my baby and I’m going to make it my freaking legacy to the world!” Which is what Prometheus and Alien: Covenant are, these films represent Ridley Scott’s reclaiming the franchise he started. Does Ridley Scott still have it?

Alien: Covenant is a direct sequel to Prometheus (2012), just in case you had your doubts. This is the story of how the xenomorphs came to be, those nasty sharp teeth, perfect killing machines with acid for blood. Alien: Covenant is the second film in a planned trilogy of prequels, they tell us the story of how the infamous aliens came to be. When Prometheus came out, audiences complained about the lack of xenomorphs, audiences wanted more of the creature that frightened them so much in Alien (1979), they wanted the horror element amped up, the wanted that nail biting, heart pounding suspense they got that first time around. But I like Prometheus for what it is, part of a trilogy of how these creatures came to be, it’s the back story. With Alien: Covenant we can definitely see a story unfolding. There are some surprises in store for fans of the Alien franchise, my mind was blown. I mean, yeah, these prequels are deeper and more profound, but that has to do with the fact that Ridley Scott has grown as a filmmaker, he has a lot more to say about life, hence, the difference in tone between these new prequels and the classic Alien films.

And speaking of depth and themes, what I enjoy about these prequels is that they explore the origins of man. Who would’ve thought that the Alien movies would end up touching such heavy themes? But here we are considering themes about the origins of man, about death, about who made us. The exploration of these themes begins with the introduction to androids, synthetic beings who are capable of thinking and feeling like humans. Similar to us in every detail save for one: they can outlive us. Questioning death and begging the universe for more life is a theme that Scott has been exploring since Blade Runner (1984) a film in which we have renegade androids begging their creator, their “father”, for more life. So yeah, Ridley Scott’s exploration of heavy philosophical themes continues in Alien: Covenant. These are questions that need answers, and Scott knows they cannot be ignored. After all, these are "the big questions" in life. It doesn’t surprise me that these are themes Ridley Scott has chosen to explore now, at the end of his career and last half of his life. Scott is probably feeling extremely identified with the themes explored in these films, questioning life, questioning where we came from, who made us and ultimately: why must we die? As I write this, Sir Ridley Scott is 79 years old!

Ridley Scott does not forget that the franchise started with what is essentially a monster movie, a horror film, and a very good one at that. When we go into top horror movies ever made, there’s no doubt Alien (1979) will make the list. And Ridley Scott knows that. So with Alien: Covenant he seems to want to go back to that horror, the spine tingling, nail biting suspense. And I have to say that Scott nailed it. There are some genuine scary moments here, there’s gore, there’s blood. Yes my friends, this one amps up the terror. But the great thing about Alien: Covenant is that it doesn’t forget that it is a sequel to Prometheus. So it’s like we get half of the philosophy and deep themes of Prometheus (2012), and half of the horror and suspense from Alien (1979), so it should satisfy both camps.

The film works even better because it has an awesome cast, and a very eclectic one at that. Here’s Danny McBride doing a serious role, he doesn’t do bad at all I have to say. But if one performance stands out it has to be Michael Fassbender in the dual role of David and Walter, the androids of the film. I simply love Fassbender in anything he does, but here he clearly plays two different roles and it is magnificent. But then again, so many things are magnificent here. The screenplay is so poetic, so good, the dialog sounds beautiful with many references to classical music and poetry. By the way, you’d do good in reading Percy Shelley’s sonnet ‘Ozymandias’, it comes into play at one point in the film. Finally, the production itself is gorgeous looking, the sets, the ship designs, the alien designs I mean, this film is simply beautiful to look at, which comes as no surprise in a Ridley Scott film. So go see this completely satisfying sequel! Here’s hoping this one makes some cash at the box office so we can get to see the next and final film in this prequel trilogy!

Rating: 5 out of 5      

  

This Is The End (2013)

Title: This Is The End (2013)

Director: Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg

Cast: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride, Craig Robinson

Review:

You all know Seth Rogen as the actor behind such films as Knocked Up (2007) and Superbad (2007). He’s currently enjoying a high point in his career working alongside people like Joseph Gordon Levitt, Michelle Williams, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Cameron Diaz, Christoph Waltz and even Barbara Streisand. Rogen has also worked with many renowned filmmakers and directors; but one thing you may not know about Rogen is that he himself writes and produces films. He is as active behind the camera as he is in front of it. Often times, Rogen collaborates with his writing buddy Evan Goldberg, with whom he has collaborated in writing films like Superbad (2007). Each of them has branched into the entertainment business in their own way, Rogen in the writing acting department, while Goldberg more on the writing producing department, but they always end up working together again. When they wrote Superbad, a teenage comedy which went on to become a smash hit, they decided their next film was going to be called Jay and Seth vs. the Apocalypse. This film would be about two friends who end up locked up inside of an apartment as the apocalypse is occurring outside, the two guys end up hating each other. They wrote it, shot a little trailer for it and then put it on You Tube. As of today, it’s been viewed by more than 630,000 people! So anyhow, they shopped their project around, found someone to back it up and voila! We have This Is The End, a film both written and directed by Seth Rogen and his pal Evan Goldberg. It’s obvious this was a dream project of theirs, so, how was it?

The interesting part about This Is The End is that all the actors that appear in it are playing themselves. So Seth Rogen is Seth Rogen, James Franco is James Franco and so forth. This of course isn’t entirely true because these actors are playing exaggerated or even alternate versions of themselves. But still, I gotta say it’s a fun gimmick imagining that Danny McBride is that much of an asshole. So anyways, the idea is that James Franco is putting on this party of the century type of deal where all these famous actors and performers are attending. So you’ll see Michael Cera doing lines of coke and slapping Rihanna’s ass! There’s Christopher Mintz-Plasse! There’s Paul Rudd! There’s Aziz Ansari and so forth. This part of the film is jam packed with cameos, which is fun. Even Jason Segel shows up at one point. So there’s a moment in the night where Rogen and Baruchel decide to go out to buy a pack of cigarettes when suddenly, the end of the world begins. What is triggering the end of the world? Why is blue light sucking people up to the heavens? Why is the earth opening and swallowing people up? Could this be the ‘judgment day’ that the bible talks so much about?

So yeah, the concept is that God has finally brought the end of the world upon humanity, so it’s up to these guys to figure out how they can get into heaven because apparently god didn’t think they were worthy. This is an awesome concept because I’ve always wondered how the biblical end of the world would look like. In my mind it was way more epic then what we see in This Is The End, but that has to do with the fact that This Is The End takes place almost entirely inside of James Franco’s house! This to me is one of the elements that makes this film so much fun because you hear these guys saying things like “Let’s make a sequel to Pineapple Express” and then they go on about what they actually want to do with that sequel, while smoking a joint! “We should make sequels to all our movies!” Funny, funny stuff. I loved how each of the characters takes on a persona, McBride is the hateful asshole, James Franco hates McBride, but loves Rogen. Jay Baruchel is the anti-social dude, Michael Cera is the out of line coke head. So it’s fun having all these guys partying their brains out, and then having to deal with surviving the apocalypse. That’s a double dose of funny situations.

Many will find this film extremely offensive, and it’s mostly to do with the fact that the film makes fun of all sorts of Christian beliefs. It’s the kind of film that takes all that mythology from the bible and turns it into one big fat joke, kind of like Paul (2011) did. In my opinion, this serves as a way to show just how ridiculous some of these ideas presented in the bible can get. For example, the film plays with this whole notion of ‘the rapture’. This is the event in which supposedly god takes the good people of the earth up to heaven with him while leaving the sinners down here to rot in a hell on earth. In the film, a blue beam of light sort of beams you up to heaven, kind of the way they beam you up in a Star Trek movie. Watching all this I was thinking how silly and hilarious it all is! But then you realize this isn’t so far from what the bible actually teaches! I mean all of the animals in the world fit into one boat? So you go up to heaven and you get a halo on top of your head? Come on! Eve actually talks to a snake! What? And let’s not forget the dragons with seven heads! If all these ideas sound fantastic to you, then you should know they all come out of the bible! Rogen and Goldberg take these ideas and put them in their movie and make you realize damn, this stuff’s actually funny! When James Franco is being beamed up to heaven is one of the most hilarious things in the movie, you gotta see it, I dare you not to laugh. While watching This Is The End I got a Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey (1990) vibe from it because same as that movie, the main characters go both to heaven and hell and they both offer us hilarious versions of these mythical places. In This Is The End heaven is one big ass party, but I ain’t gonna spoil it for you.

Aside from having fun with Christian beliefs, the film is also extremely graphic in nature. Not just with its jokes, but with its depiction of gore. For example, there’s only one porno mag in the whole house, and these five dudes have to survive the apocalypse with it, so I guess they take turns using it? Point is at one point a fight breaks out between Franco and McBride because McBride jizzed all over the magazine! This is just an example of how crazy the jokes can get, if you like your comedy cute and cuddly don’t go see this movie. If on the other hand you like your comedy raunchy, then you’re in for a treat. I read that while making this film, almost every actor (except James Franco) at one point said they wouldn’t do something because it was too crazy. I mean, Emma Watson herself stepped out of the movie half way because she thought the ideas were too crazy. She was actually supposed to be in the movie a lot more, but bowed out because she couldn’t take it. Hey, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen! So that lets you know this one will test your limits of good taste. And then there’s the gore, which is plentiful and hilarious! Ever wanted to see someone play football with some dudes decapitated head? Then this is the movie for you!

How cool was it to have all these funny guys together on the same film? I mean, this is the kind of comedy I love, where they put a bunch of funny dudes together in one movie and see what happens. Obviously there was a lot of improvisation on this film, its part of what I love about movies like this one. I mean, you can tell these were really just a bunch of friends getting together having fun making a movie. I’m sure it must have been pretty difficult to keep a straight face while shooting some of these scenes. One idea did pop into my head; maybe it should be this team of comedians that takes a stab at a Ghostbusters reboot? It would be hilarious to seethese dudes playing Peter, Eagon, Ray and Winston, but alas, that’s just me pipe dreaming. But you gotta admit it would be cool wouldn’t it?

So yeah my friends, this movie is all over the place! It’s extreme, it’s funny, it’s gory, and these characters curse like sailors even when in heaven! “Welcome to heaven motherfuckers!” Yes, this film is rated ‘R’ and don’t you forget it! I was surprised there weren’t any topless girls in this movie; it was all that was missing really. When I went to see this one, half of the theater was laughing, the other half was sitting uncomfortable in their chairs, so it’s a divisive movie. My guess is that the conservative half, the half that goes to church every Sunday was about ready to leave the theater, while the other half were laughing their asses off, I was of course laughing my ass off. After all, if there is a God, he’s gotta have a sense of humor right? I mean, he created George W. Bush didn’t he? So my advice is just go see this one with an open mind, ready to be offended, you just might find yourself having a good time.

Rating: 4 out of 5 

Your Highness (2010)

Title: Your Highness (2010)

Director: David Gordon Green

Cast: Danny Mc Bride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Justin Theroux

Review:

I had high hopes for Your Highness for various reasons. One of them was that David Gordon Green was directing. Green is a director who’s mainly known for directing indie dramas like George Washington (2000) and Undertow (2004). But in 2008 David Gordon Green decided to break out of his indie drama mold and ventured into big budget commercial comedy territory, the result was Pineapple Express. A film that ended up being a good stoner comedy in my book. So I kept that in mind, also noting the fact that Your Highness was a Pineapple Express re-union of sorts. It had the same director (David Gordon Green) and it reunited James Franco and Danny McBride both of which had worked together on Pineapple Express. So I was feeling confident about this movie. Add to that the fact that it now had Oscar winner Natalie Portman along for the ride and I was sold! And it was a stoner comedy! And it had magic and monsters! And Justin Theroux was playing the bad guy! I mean, this movie had all the makings of an awesome movie! So why did this film end up being such an atrociously unfunny disaster?

The sad part is that Your Highness is Danny McBride’s first attempt at carrying a big budget theatrical release on his shoulders. He is the lead, it’s his movie. He wrote it. Should this film fly or get shot down, all fingers will point to him. That type of thing tends to be a decisive moment in an up and coming actors career. This type of thing can either make or break your future in Hollywood. It reminded me of the time I first saw Ace Ventura in theaters, way back in 1994. That moment was magical; I have never seen an audience laugh so hard in my whole life as a film enthusiast. From then on, I knew Jim Carrey was going to make it big. And he did, it was one of those things where the film was so funny, that you just knew he was going to make it. Sadly, Your Highness was to be Danny McBride’s Ace Ventura. This was to be the film where McBride was going to show the world that he is a funny guy, and that he can continue making us laugh for years to come. Sadly, if I was to judge Danny McBride’s future in films based on Your Highness alone, I would have to say that he is dead on arrival. It’s a sad thing too because Danny McBride is one of those actors that always got second billing in comedies where he was funny enough for people to say “this guy is funny, he should be making his own movies!” Well, he finally got his chance to prove himself to audiences in a film where he is the main star. He’s been given the keys to the kingdom; did he make the best of it? Hell no he didn’t!

The main problem with Your Highness is that it just isn’t funny. I watched it in a theater filled with people who like me, decided to give it a chance, probably expecting McBride to be as funny as he has been in other movies where he wasn’t the main star. At the very least, he should have been as funny as he is in his own show, Eastbound & Down. Unfortunately, this was not the case. I giggled once or twice, but most of the time I was cringing at what I was seeing on screen. I remember the words “this is not funny” popping up in my head on various occasions. McBride and crew seem to think that saying the word fuck every five seconds is a funny thing. It isn’t. Curse words are to be used sparingly, like a bit of salt on your favorite food. If you over do it, you mess things up. Then it just becomes irritating every time you hear it. Maybe on a Gangster movie it would have been okay, cause Im sure gangsters say “motherfucker” every five seconds; but not on a fantasy film. And trust me; you’ll hear the word fuck and all of its derivatives every five seconds in this movie. On top of that, they chose to include these really crude sexual jokes, like having to give a hand job to a wizard so he can help them on their quest, or showing a Minotaur’s erection, I mean, literally, you can see the Minotaur’s erect member. I just typed that. Great. Thank you very much Your Highness.

And here’s the other thing, I love fantasy movies! I love movies about magic, monsters, dragons, swords and all that jazz. I was actually looking forward to seeing warlocks and wizards using their magic powers. I was thinking this was a great opportunity to spoof films like the Lord of the Rings trilogy. And yes, I did enjoy those moments where we have warlocks and witches using all these fantastical magic powers, showcasing some nifty special effects. I enjoyed all the creatures we get to meet in the film, the Cyclops, the Minotaur, The Wizard. You kind of get the feeling that McBride watched Princess Bride (1987), Labyrinth (1986), Legend (1985), Robin Hood Men in Tights (1993), History of the World Part I (1981) and Monty Python’s Holy Grail (1975) and wanted elements from all those films on this one. I have to hand it to the guy, he had his influences in the right place. Unfortunately, he didn’t quite get there. I mean, this was a 60 million dollar big budget production. These guys had all the resources needed to make a decent fantasy film; unfortunately, the result wasn’t a very good one. That’s one thing I always enjoyed about Mel Brook’s films, they were raunchy, and had sexual jokes in them, but they were never super offensive, they knew just how far to take it. Your Highness doesn’t just want to make sex jokes, they want to offend you with them. Shock you with them. Hence the Minotaur’s schlong in the film.

Justin Theroux as the evil wizard Lazaar

And I speak of Mel Brook’s films because he was obviously a major influence on this film. Right down to having Natalie Portman wear a chastity belt. But I think that McBride and Green forgot one very important thing that Mel Brooks got right most of the time. You can spoof a film, but you also have to make a good film within the genre you are spoofing. This didn’t always work for Mel Brooks (just look at Dracula Dead and Loving It) but more often then not, it did work. Take for example Young Frankenstein (1974). It was not only a great (actually genius) spoof of all Frankenstein films; it was also an excellent Frankenstein film on its own right. Same goes for Spaceballs (1987). A great spoof, but also, a good sci-fi film. I guess the big difference between Your Highness and the films I’ve mentioned is that Mel Brook’s spoof’s had good scripts. Hell, Young Frankenstein was nominated for a freaking Oscar for its screenplay! Not the case with the script for Your Highness which was written by McBride himself, who really hasn’t proven himself as much of a writer save for having written the script for The Foot Fist Way (2006). According to David Gordon Green himself, most of the dialog was improvised during shooting; a trick that can work if you are working with a cast of comedic geniuses. I mean Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Will Ferrell, they’ll work wonders with improvisation. Doesn’t always work with everyone, apparently, it didn’t work with the cast on Your Highness.

Weird thing is, I have seen McBride being funny. He just wasn’t entirely ‘on’ for this film. Now, if Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that it does not forgive gargantuan multi million dollar failures. You make them loose some moolah instead of making it for them, and it’s adios to you amigo. I hope this won’t be the case with McBride. I think the guy has potential to be one of the greats; he just needs a project that will really go with his personality and style of comedy. Something tells me that a fantasy farce simply wasn’t the way to go with McBride, he seemed to think so. I mean he wrote the damned thing. Sadly, he didn’t even write a good role for himself. He is the lead in the film, yet he isn’t the hero, James Franco is. And speaking of that cast! What the hell. Okay, Franco was obviously there to re-live the good times he had while making Pineapple Express, but Natalie Portman sticks out like a sore thumb in this movie! I guess she was on this production to lighten things up after having made the dark and brooding Black Swan (2010). Plus, they convinced her to show us her ass to sell the movie, sadly, even that old trick failed. This movie cost 60 million dollars and barely made 20 million at the box office! That’s a 40 million dollar loss my friends! That is something that Hollywood won’t easily forgive, I just know it. I’ve seen it happen. But who knows, maybe McBride will do a better film next time, one that fits his style of humor better. Actually, his next film up is called 30 Minutes or Less (2011) and it looks like the kind of project that’s right up his alley. Let’s hope that it will actually be funny. And that it will actually make its money back, if not, I fear we won’t be seeing much of McBride in the near future. Here’s hoping we do!

Rating: 1 ½ out of 5