QUOTES (Woody Allen, 1989)

Allen: 'Intrinsic to my understanding of history is this: The Witch never said 'You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy Gale.'
Minnelli: 'But she did.'
Allen: 'Exactly.'
Minnelli: 'Contrarily, Dorothy did say 'There's no place like home,' several times, but she was lying.'
Allen: 'Of course. Will you marry me?'
Minnelli: 'No-one said anything to make you say that.'
Allen: 'Jimmy Stewart. Philadelphia Story.'
Minnelli: 'Hepburn said no to Jimmy Stewart. She remarried Cary Grant.'
Allen: 'Well we can't all be Cary Grant.'
Minnelli: 'No. Some of us even less so than others.'


Woody Allen and Liza Minnelli in a scene from Quotes.

'The truth is that as a filmmaker (if not as a performer), Woody Allen has almost no personality of his own. Respect him as we may for preferring pastiche (or imitation as the sincerest form of flattery) in a period when the American cinema has capitulated to the whorish charms of parody (or imitation as the sincerest form of derision) , we ought not to elevate a pasticheur's talent into the temperament of an authentic artist. Allen is Zelig, Zelig is Allen. Brought into contact with Bergman, he turns into Bergman (Interiors, Another Woman); with Fellini, he turns into Fellini (Stardust Memories, Radio Days); with Pabst, he turns into Pabst (Shadows and Fog)... and so it has always gone. Zelig however, is the exception that once truly does prove the rule, and so Quotes is a rare stride towards something else, as if there exists in Allen a true original he is straining to supress. Quotes is Allen's career writ large and exploded, a cavalcade of every filmmaker he loves at once, a collection of brilliant techniques that serves to provide a mixed salad, avec dressing, with a small man in glasses sitting in sorrow in the middle.' Gilbert Adair, Flickers

'QUOTES is a blast. Take an inspired idea- the referencing of everybody else, and I mean everybody else- pepper with a gag or two, then stew in wit for aeons, and voila! a Cannes hit that will make minor rewards in Western territories. But Allen, for once, goes further, and his intricate web of references and borrowed dialogue becomes something beyond postmodern or meta.' Geoffrey Standage, The Sunday Times

'Allen alienates adroitly and aims angry arcs at any anti-Allenists (and Allenist alike) attending, acutely aware at all affects an arrogant audience anticipates. A+' Arsula Andress, San Francisco Chronicle

'Allen of course, must know that his presence in his own movie can cheapen his directorial nous somewhat, in that his verbal prodding can sometimes replace what greater directors do from behind the camera. But he is also smart enough to know that this gives him something to, and Quotes allows him to provide a director's cut from within. His character can talk about film style as he himself gives us film that contradicts that style.' Peter Bradshaw, The Guardian

''If bad puns a comedian doth make, then Allen is very funny indeed.' Here's one for you: Waiting for Godard.' Blixten Tongstress, Twice Weekly

'Allen never gives us three chords and the truth; three chords and the Truffaut, maybe. Even his tenderest moments are not wrought with any feeling other than nervous self-examination, leaving his voice to be that of a whinnying karaoke singer. Which as we all know, can be perversely poignant.' Mark Kermode, Videodrome

'If we see Allen's work as a schizophrenic dance between Bergman and something sillier, then this boils it down to the barest credentials. Insipid and inspired. A petulant stamp from an undergrown intellectual. Four stars.' Tom Bonnet, Sight & Sound

'Only eternal love between Farrow and Allen would provide the trust necessary for her to don that particular outfit and say those particular lines.' Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun

'Allen used to have a stand-up line that he re-used over and over, he liked it so much: 'I'm not scared of death... I just don't want to be there when it happens'. Well, he has been there when it happened many times: Hollywood Ending, Match Point and Whatever Works, to name but three deaths. But every time I reach back for Annie Hall or Manhattan I only feel sad for an auteur now lost. Only Quotes keeps me excited. It is an enigma, a flashing message not quite understood.' Paul Auster, Notes on Film Signs

'You know, people ask me who I am, and I presume it is a trick question. So then they ask what kind of man I am, and I realize that if they think I'm a man then I've actually tricked them.' Woody Allen

Quotes Directed by Woody Allen Produced by Robert Grenhut Written by Woody Allen, Mia Farrow Starring Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Liza Minnelli Orion Pictures/Warner Brothers Release Date UK/US: Mar 1989 99 mins Tagline: 'Umm.. I Really Don't... I Gues Yuo Need Something For The Poster... Use Something From Ben Hur.'

Aa (Niko Hämäläinen, 1966)

Bb(Niko Hämäläinen, 1979),Cc(Niko Hämäläinen, 1992), Dd(Niko Hämäläinen, 1999)
Ee(Niko Hämäläinen, 2005), Ff(Niko Hämäläinen and Evan Hämäläinen, 2009)

The Finns, then, have a school of film-makers unadorned by the garland throwers of the world (impossible as that may be, given that in these times mankind increasingly appears to be an island of garland-tossers, with fewer and fewer worthy recipients of those celebrated woven flower decorations); a school that numbers just one, a furious pedant and painfully precise temperment, a man who refuses to die until he finishes his work, a work that is impossible to finish. A man who describes himself as 'Finnish at the beginning, and at the end...'
Hämäläinen's preoccupation, was, is, and will ever be words. The latest in his 'visualised dictionary' series,Ff, has just been completed and will be released in Autumn 2009, a mere four years after the release of Ee, which itself was only seven years after Dd. 'digital video technology is helping us speed up' he says, optimistically. 'Besides, Xx and Qq won't take me long, they are short letters,'1 The concept: Hämäläinen makes visuals of the the dictionary. Aa is a series of images representing each word in the Oxford English Dictionary beginning with A, in alphabetical order. The sequels follow suit. So Aa begins with an image of the letter a itself, before we see an aadvark, then a and so on. Some of his shots have to be created in interesting ways: 'to articulate both argue and then arguing, never mind argument, in interesting and unrepetitive ways is perhaps the difficulty in this. And of course, how to render abstracts such as abstract in second-long bursts of images is a constant problem.'2


The BBC's Arena strand made a documentary about Hämäläinen in 1975 entitled Dictionary Man, and they returned in 1999 to check on his progress, the result of which appeared that year as The Dictionary Man Forever. The question that the interviewer returns to time and again, is inevitable:

'Why, Niko?'

'Why what?'

'Why this?'

'I don't know what you mean.'

'Why film the dictionary? It is an impossible undertaking.'

(Pause. Niko thinks, as if for the first time, about this.)

'Well what else would you have me do?'

And so, we see in Niko Hämäläinen a romantic spirit specific not only to man, but to men; a foolhardy heroism in which no-one can win, for there can be no glory. And yet, we find it admirable, this bloody-minded devotion, and wonder, what would Hämäläinen's reaction be if he were to get close to completing his task? Would his knees buckle like a rookie serving for the championship at Wimbledon, a rookie who had been fearless until the point that possibility is fast becoming probability? We cannot know, for time will have its win over the project.

But is it a defeat for an artist to die before his work is done? Don't all artists die before their work is done? Some, perhaps, are done long before they die. The interest with Hämäläinen stems from the fact that we know exactly how much further he has to go. He is 70 now, and his latest, Ff is chapter six of twenty-six. And while this chapter has a polish that Aa lacks, and some of the transitions are more imaginative, the truth is that his style and technique are largley the same, over forty years on. Such consistency in art confuses us.

Gilbert Adair:
'Why are our letters in the order they are? What does it mean, besides putting the Alexes and Andrews on the sunny side of the classroom and the Zacharys and Zoes in the dark? What does it mean, beyond putting Springsteen, Bruce next to Springfield, Dusty (but far, far away from Springfield, Buffalo) in the record store? What chiming moments does such a pervasive ordering of the world throw up? Is our alphabet a key? Can it tell a story? What Hämäläinen does, in not so many words (or perhaps, in exactly so many words), is ask these questions, with a direct action so bold and hopeless that we question its sanity.'3

Evan Hämäläinen, Niko's son, who co-directed Ff:
'My father is a man haunted by dreams of an oversized alphabet forest, where rain falls and an l tips over, uprooted, or a k bends to offer a branch for a climber. Whether this is why he chose this project, or because of the project, well who can tell at this point?'

Adair agian:

'The truth is that of course he could have chosen to make films about his his family, or his home, something that was superficially more subjective. But the small decisions he makes in his films express his personality in ways other filmmakers fail to do over countless fictions: The skittering creature he chooses for the word bee, for example, or the grey, ashy block for the word brick; both articulate ceaselessly.'

Aa Directed by Niko Hämäläinen Produced by Niko Hämäläinen Venstock Films/Aqua Film Distribution. US/UK Release Date: N/A.

1. The Sunday Times Magazine, September 2009.

2. Dictionary Man, BBC films, 1976.

3. Flickers 2, Faber & Faber, 2008.

4. The Sunday Times Magazine, September 2009.

CARY GRANT GOES TO CAT HEAVEN (John Doanon,1990)

Cary Grant Goes To Cat Heaven holds a unique place in the faux-canon: It's legacy was a completely transformed industry, so much so that Gilbert Adair called it the 'Jean-Marc Bosman of film'.1

It was the movie that began the Great Footage Debate of the early nineties, which saw Humphrey Bogart posthumously advertising cleaning products('Here's Looking At You, Jif') and the work of Paul McCartney (who of course had died in a bicycle crash in 1967) being used without clearance to suggest that airlines were the safest way to travel (Wings' 'Jet' the so-literal-it-is-nonsensical choice). Paul's lover Linda, who survived Paul and spent years promoting vegetarianism and World Peace, sued Virgin Airlines (the offending company) saying that Paul 'would rather have died than have his music whored like this'. Virgin's lawyer, Rick McMinn, replied 'why not have both? Oh, and by the way, whores get paid.' Linda won the case, which caused devastation in the worlds of advertising and film (a period of disruption known to posterity as The Linda Effect or Linda-rance), as numerous productions were halted and companies sued. A series of sequels to Cary Grant Goes To Cat Heaven were canned (including Jimmy Cagney Contemplates the Elephant's Graveyard, Robert Ryan Witnesses The Neon Aviary Afterlife and Klaus Nomi on Pigeon Street), and the original was taken from the shelves of video stores for years.

The movie itself? Why, it is delightful. It is effectively a treatise on the virtues of wise sampling. Footage of Cary Grant from various Hollywood movies is cut together with footage of kittens and clouds to create a dreamy ambiance of loveliness. It is a miracle beyond the earlier Who Framed Roger Rabbit (, 1988), for no actors could be manouvred and no cartoons drawn; sure, the kitten stars are perfectly wonderful playing angels (in Cat Heaven all cats are kittens of course), and all deliver fine performances. But the real genius lies in the directorial discretion of which Grant clip to use at which point. This also results in a patchwork of famous and lesser Grant moments, and much fun is to be had from spotting the pilfered originals.

The delightful thing is that it is not just obvious candidate Bringing Up Baby that is pillaged:

Look! See the reaction shot of Grant as CK Dexter Haven in The Philadelphia Story looking at Hepburn, Katherine, contemplating a marriage proposal from Stewart, James. See it here used to suggest Grant's hopeful confusion as he enters the Gates of St Peter. We see, in effect, a Grant megamix, the mythical burden reconfigured in new contexts and found to be intact: Solid gold performance runs throughout, and the consistent selection means that say, a sentimental pairing of a beyond-cute kitten and maudlin strings is anchored by the tanned wonder himself goofing off delightfully.

Alex Cox called Cary Grant Goes To Cat Heaven it 'the hip-hop of film'2. 'Hollywood re-uses plots and cliches; why not footage? cried Salman Rushdie in a defence of 'sampling' in an essay entitled Everybody Calls Their Wife 'Baby', Why Can't I?3

Grant Goes To Cat Heaven Directed by John Doanon Prduced by Jeff Litbarsky Written by Doanon Starring Cary Grant Film Four Pictures Release Date UK: Jan 1990 US: N/A Running Time: 103 mins Tagline: 'In Our Dreams'

1. When The Downs Go Light Penguin Putnam, 1997

2. Sight and Sound interview, June 1991

3. Atlantic Monthly, August 1993