Naked Woman Tied To Tree In Tacoma Park Not A Problem

But that guy nearby wearing the Armani and taking a business call on his BlackBerry, now he looked suspicious so police hauled him in for questioning.

The line above is a figment of my imagination; the headline is not. In fact, I think the guy or gal who wrote that headline should retire; they'll never write a better one. Ever.

Here's the story:

TACOMA, Wash. -- Several police officers responded to a 911 report of a naked woman tied to a tree in Point Defiance Park in Tacoma.

Spokesman Mark Fulghum told The News Tribune officers talked with the woman and a man Tuesday in the Owen Beach area and determined it was a "consensual rendezvous."

No one was arrested.

The couple wasn't nearly as lucky as the pasties girl from Tacoma:

Pierce County prosecutors on Tuesday filed a misdemeanor charge of unlawful public exposure against a bikini barista spotted last year serving coffee while wearing only pasties on her breasts.

It’s the first time Pierce County prosecutors have leveled such a charge since some area espresso stand owners began requiring their baristas to show skin in addition to making drinks

But of all the naked stories floating around the innerwebz, this one probably has the most potential to have ramifications: "No 10 denies naked Brown called aide the C-word," although lately Goordoom seems to be making a comeback in the polls.

Says Mark Steyn:

The second round of the hot new reality show? No, the prime ministerial nude had been trying to fix up some one-on-one face time with Barack Obama only to be rebuffed and having to settle for a hurried few minutes with the President in the aisle of the UN kitchen as they exited the big world leaders’ banquet in New York. Hence, his naked fury. You don’t have to be a G7 head of government to appreciate that that’s not the most helpful headline at this stage in the electoral cycle.

Maybe Gordoom was just gearing up for Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transexual History Month.

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Naked Woman Tied To Tree In Tacoma Park Not A Problem

Project Valour IT -- Give to Those Who Gave For Us

Today's warfare leaves thousands of men and women who serve America seriously wounded for life.

Project Valour IT can provide these troops with voice-activated laptops and other high-tech gear. Please take some time to learn about this project, then make a donation via the widget at the very bottom of the post.

From Villainous Company:

Project Valour-IT began when Captain Charles "Chuck" Ziegenfuss was wounded by an IED while serving as commander of a tank company in Iraq in June 2005.

During his deployment he kept a blog. Captivating writing, insightful stories of his experiences, and his self-deprecating humor won him many loyal readers. After he was wounded, his wife continued his blog, keeping his readers informed of his condition.

As he began to recover, CPT Ziegenfuss wanted to return to writing his blog, but serious hand injuries hampered his typing. When a loyal and generous reader gave him a copy of the Dragon Naturally Speaking Preferred software, other readers began to realize how important such software could be to CPT Ziegenfuss' fellow wounded soldiers and started casting about for a way to get it to them.

A fellow blogger who writes under the pseudonym FbL contacted Captain Ziegenfuss and the two realized they shared a vision of creating libraries of laptops with voice-controlled software that could be brought to the bedsides of wounded soldiers whose injuries prevented them from operating a standard computer. FbL contacted Soldiers' Angels, who offered to help develop the project, and Project Valour-IT was born.

In sharing their thoughts, CPT Ziegenfuss and FbL found that memories of their respective fathers were a motivating factor in their work with the project. Both continue their association with this project in memory of the great men in their lives whose fine examples taught them lasting lessons of courage and generosity.

Here's more of CPT Ziegenfuss' story, reposted from Cao's Blog:



Cao also notes:

Chuck blogs at From My Position on the Way, here.

Read about Chuck and his steadfast and courageous Carren, here and their amazing attitudes while he was recovering from his injuries.

The fundraiser ends Wednesday, November 11th, Veteran's Day. Please donate here:

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Project Valour IT -- Give to Those Who Gave For Us

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

Kanye and Beyonce agree: THIS must be one of the greatest blogs eva.

Hint ... one of the old lesbians looks like this ...

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Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians

The Sad New Criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize

Sit for 20 years in the pew of a church with a pastor that says "God Damn America" and deny you ever knew about his dangerous and subversive hate speech.

Ignore the man you picked to lead a "war of necessity" and endlessly debate whether to unleash a surge of troops or pull out, while the troops who volunteered to defend your way of life die.

Release 78 terrorists from Gitmo, where they couldn't hurt anyone, into the wild so they can turn around and plot evil schemes to kill you and the people you purport to lead.

Give millions to known terrorist organizations, like Hamas.

Go to the U.N. and call for a new world order that ignores nation sovereignty.

Refuse to salute the flag, on stage, in public.

Stop wearing an American flag lapel pin because it has become a "substitute for true" patriotism.

Bow to a muzzie king whose country has secretly funded global jihadist anti-American terrorism for decades.

Sit silent while a murdering Marxist dictator lambastes the United States for nearly an hour.

Stick your head so far up the rear-ends of two other murdering Marxist dictators, Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, you taste their food before they do.

Start disarming your country's nuclear stockpile and stop missile defense plans while turning your back against a rogue nation that murders its own protesting citizens and denies the Holocaust and threatens to wipe your ally off the face of the map and tells lies that their uranium enrichment program is only for purposes of nuclear power.

Say your country has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive toward its allies, then turn around and show arrogance and be dismissive, even derisive toward its allies.

Fill in the blanks with more in the comments section.

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The Sad New Criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize

One Gay Man, Two Lesbians, a Three-legged Cat and a Poisoned Curry Plot

Who needs satire when you have news stories like this?

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One Gay Man, Two Lesbians, a Three-legged Cat and a Poisoned Curry Plot

Politicians Share Personality Traits With Serial Killers

Name 6 things your favorite (or least favorite) politician has in common with serial killers:

• Superficial charm
• Grandiose sense of self-worth
• Glibness
• Pathological lying
• Lack of remorse
• Manipulation of others

And the work of Jim Kouri, veep of the National Association of Chiefs of Police, gets even better. Politicians are also guilty of this:

The affective traits include a lack of remorse and/or guilt, shallow affect, a lack of empathy, and failure to accept responsibility. The lifestyle behaviors include stimulation-seeking behavior, impassivity, irresponsibility, parasitic orientation, and a lock of realistic life goals.

I think this calls for giving my least favorite politicians some choice nicknames:

• Nancy "Mary Ann Cotton" Pelosi
• Ted "Wayne Gacy Jr." Kennedy
• Harry "Ted Bundy" Reid
• Joe "The Ripper" Biden
• Barack "Zodiac" Obama

Feel free to add your own least favorites below!

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Politicians Share Personality Traits With Serial Killers

Bye, George...Hello...WTF????

The New Republic

So long, George...

Hello....

WTF???

That's a real confidence builder.

Yes, Mr. President...it would appear it truly is time for us all to pitch in, since every time you mention it's "a new era of responsibility" you really mean it's "a time for you citizen-comrades to give just a little more, and then a little bit extra," and the Dow drops accordingly.

My non-retirement and kids' non-college funds thank you.

Well done, Mr. President. Congratulations for the worst opening in history. I hope your balls danced well tonight...you'll need them for the coming 1,461 days.

Very friggin' inspiring...indeed.

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Bye, George...Hello...WTF????

Slick Willie: "I Love This Rug"

Did you catch Slick's comment at the end of today's meeting of "ex-presidents"?

"I love this rug," X-42 says. Hmm...does he have something in mind for it?

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Slick Willie: "I Love This Rug"

Did I Say "Change" Was Coming?

Former Clinton assistant Betty Currie and Socks, former first-cat.

Change just keeps getting older. John Podesta, Hillary Clinton and…Betty friggin’ Currie?

Yep, the old gang is back together again, with Betty Currie, former personal assistant for Slick Willy, now answering calls for Podesta and President-elect Barack Obama’s transition team. You remember Currie, she's the one special prosecutor Ken Starr grilled so much over Slick's extra-curricular escapades.

But she’s a volunteer now. Really. Just answering phones here and there. Nothing to see here. Just helping out. Move along. No Blagojevich entanglements coming. No Monica Lewinsky surprise around the corner.

Just good old fashioned change. And hope. You know. For the sake of change.

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Did I Say "Change" Was Coming?

Sad to See You Go, W...Presidents Just Don't Bring Laughter Like You

Well...I supported him...then damned near gave myself a lobotomy because of it.... W was good for my own introspection into what I really believed: That government is crap by any party.

BUT...damn...am I gonna miss his delivery...

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Sad to See You Go, W...Presidents Just Don't Bring Laughter Like You

Saxby Chambliss’ Booby-booboo

Elections are a fascinating thing in America. Sometimes they get to run nearly until Christmas.

They can get even more fascinating, depending on your perspective, when yesterday's winning candidate, Republican Saxby Chambliss, grabs his granddaughter’s boob during a campaign commercial that ran last week to wish all Georgia voters Happy Thanksgiving. Don’t believe me? See the first 60 seconds of a segment from last night's broadcast by Commedy Central's Jon Stewart, below.

The incident reminds me of Bernard trying to grab some "itty bitty titty" in Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.

Coincidentally, if you search Google for the words “vote for my big daddy,” a demand in the ad from Chambliss' grandchildren, you will find that links to the ad, posted previously on several news sites, have been removed.

Why?

Well, why don’t I let Google tell you: “In response to a legal request submitted to Google, we have removed 1 result(s) from this page. If you wish, you may read more about the request at ChillingEffects.org.”

Clicking on Google’s read more link gives you this interesting information.

That's our elections process in this country, or life in our times. I'm not yet sure which one.

(And, yeah, this one is true, too.)

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Indecision 2008 - Chambliss vs. Martin

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

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Saxby Chambliss’ Booby-booboo

What's Wrong With Shoppers?

If you opened this and expected to find satire, I apologize. I don’t have the heart for it today.

I remember as a kid hearing about a Who concert in Cincinnati, in which 11 people were trampled to death as the doors to the hall were opened. I was appalled: What would compel people to run over top of other people? It was just a concert! Not a fire. Not a shooting in a crowded place. No one was trying to get away. They wanted to get IN!

I’m a little more cynical today but no less appalled to hear that 2,000 people bum rushed a worker at a Long Island, NY, Wal-mart on Black Friday, so they could be the first to get a good deal…on a new TV or an X-box they probably didn’t need anyway…and no doubt add to revolving debt they’ll never pay back.

If you haven’t heard (and who the hell hasn’t by now?), Jdimytai Damour, a 34-year-old part-time holiday temp, was crushed in the onslaught and pronounced dead an hour later. Police are looking for those responsible.

Accounts of the incident were incredible.

Witness Kimberly Cribbs said all those people who got in went right on shopping after the worker was run over.

"Oh yes, they're savages," Cribbs said.

Then there was this madness outside a Toys "R" Us.

I don’t know what this all says about people in this country. I don’t know if it’s an indictment of who we are, of our priorities, of how far we’ve fallen into narcism and contempt for human life, of how much our moral fabric is in need of bailing out.

Whatever it says, it isn't good.

I wish I was just making this one up.

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What's Wrong With Shoppers?