Trifecta Of Terror! The Arctic Blues Derby

It's been a while since I've brought you a TRIFECTA OF TERROR!, and I figured it's high time to do so!  With The Preakness Stakes tomorrow, we're smack dab in the middle of the Triple Crown series in horse racing, so no time like the present to wager on which of the following flicks would be a winner.

How does this work?  Well, I choose three films with a similar topic or like-minded theme that would compliment each other and put them in the order that represents a winner (the best film of the three), a place (second place finisher) and a show (the third place finisher).  Meaning,  if you are so inclined, you could have an afternoon or evening of like-minded films and work your way from the mediocre to the stellar of the bunch (or vice-versa if you're likely to fall asleep and don't want to save the best for last).

In previous editions I listed them as win-place-show.  But I think I'm changing that up and listing them from "worst" to "best".  In this virtual race, we spotlight three films that have you shivering and

Your "show" film:  THE THAW (2009) - When a film stars Val Kilmer you have to wonder if you're going to get decent-quality Val (as in Tombstone or Heat) or low-quality Val (practically everything else).  I honestly don't think he does a bad job in this eco-thriller that takes place in the Canadian Arctic (though truth be told he's not in the film the entire running time).  Kilmer plays a research scientist who, after discovering the remains of a wooly mammoth, finds out it has carried a parasitic worm all the way from the days of the dinosaurs.  He tries to quarantine the group of ecologists he has with him, and to prevent another group (including his estranged daughter) from joining them.  Of course he does not stop them from arriving and chaos ensues.  I actually found this a pretty good film, with a good supporting cast (Martha MacIsaac being the stand-out), a fairly original script, and a fun gore and gross out factor.  If you don't like swarming bugs, beware this film.  As per usual, there are some dumb-ass moves (as in most horror) that lend no help to the scientific validity of the content.  And though it's supposed to be environmentally pro-active or at least sending a message about global warming, there's not much hope for mankind if the people solving the problems are anything like the scientists (and the graduate students at the heart of the film) are here. But for a fun flick likely to make you squirm and perhaps even induce a few buggy nightmares, you could do a lot worse.

Coming in second, we have our "place" film, which is actually a television episode of one of my favorite shows of all time, THE X-FILES.   I bring you:  ICE (1993).

Ice is one of those stand-alone episodes from the beginning of the series that laid the groundwork for the show's success.  Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) are on assignment in Alaska to determine why a group of scientists have turned up dead. The sense of dread that envelopes this tense hour of television is one of the main reasons I (and millions of others) developed such an affinity for the landmark series.  After a look at the bodies of the dead scientists, they find a dog - alive - that has black nodules on his skin and deduce it must be bubonic plague.  But things get even more perplexing (and unsettling) when they see something move under the dog's skin.  When the helicopter pilot subsequently becomes ill and dies, they discover a parasitic worm moving under his skin and remove it, believing it to be the contagion.   Naturally, Mulder believes the worm to be extraterrestrial, an idea Scully is not quite ready to entertain.  In any event, the duo is determined to prevent the contagion from spreading to the rest of the world.  Such a great episode, very reminiscent of John Carpenter's THE THING - and with good reason, as the concept for both came from John W. Campbell's  Who Goes There?, a novel that also inspired 1951's THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD.

Although there are dozens of similar-type films about trouble in the Arctic, I had to choose one of my favorite films - and one of the best remakes in cinematic history.  You all know what I'm talking about - our "win" film:  THE THING (1982).

A group of researchers in the Antarctic head to a nearby Norwegian station to find out why their dog was fired upon by one of their helicopters (which in turn, crashed).  They find a burnt-out station and a bizarre corpse that looks more inhuman than human and end up bringing it back to their station to do an autopsy on it. Without warning,  the pursued canine horrifically mutates into an unrecognizable creature and tries to attack the men.  One flamethrower later and the men are dissecting the monstrosity, only to discover it was in the process of imitating the men - or whatever else it is able to ingest. The men learn the Norwegians had found what appeared to be a spaceship in a block of ice estimated to be thousands of years old, and begin to wonder what may have escaped from it.  One by one the men seem to turn on each other, unwilling to believe that they themselves have been "infected". 
THE THING is a study in patience, dread, and true horror.  A stellar cast led by Kurt Russell, combined with superb practical special effects and an impending sense of doom makes THE THING a winner in any category of film. You just can't go wrong.  If this was an actual horse race, the odds would be even and the horse's name would be Secretariat.

Snowbound: Winter Horror Films To Keep You Warm ~Part 1

The idea for a two-week span of winter-focused horror isn't hard to imagine with the winter we've been having.

Here in western PA, it's been downright nasty, with heaps of snow, ice, freezing rain, and plenty of frigid temps - the kind of cold air that freezes your nostrils when you step outside.

 Not sure it's been as bad in St. Louis where Marie is, but winter is winter - and we thought it'd be fun to set aside some time this year to highlight the frosty season. 

There are just SO many films to talk about that it's a sure thing that all of them will not be mentioned, but we wanted to spotlight as many as we can in these two weeks, so we're splitting them into parts. 

Best of all, we've got some help from across the pond for our fortnight of fun.  Belfast-based writer James Gracey of the fantastic blog Behind the Couch has agreed to help us out by writing about some of our chosen films. If you've never visited Behind the Couch, you simply must.  James writes some of the most insightful, astute, and absorbing reviews on the interwebz. Plus he's a really good friend, so I'd like to personally thank him for his most gracious gift of time.  I know that besides his terrific blog (and in addition to his actual day job), he's busy writing for such quality publications as Paracinema , Diabolique, and Exquisite Terror, among others.  Savor his words, folks.  He knows what he's talking about here.

So onward with the first installment of frosty flicks that you can turn to on a cold winter's night - or spend an entire shivery weekend with when you're snowbound and trying to fend off the cabin fever.....


THE SHINING(1980)

No list of winter horrors would be complete without the first film many think of when categorizing snowbound frights.  A former school teacher takes his wife and young son to the Overlook Hotel, a resort high in the Rockies that is regrettably located on an Indian burial ground.  Jack Torrance has been hired as the winter caretaker because the hotel becomes completely snowed in during the winter and getting up the Sidewinder Mt is a sheer impossibility.   As the temperature drops and the snow begins to pile up, Jack also has his own worries that don’t include whether the boiler is functioning alright.  Meanwhile, their strangely psychic son begins to sense something is very, VERY wrong at the Overlook.  While the film has subtle hints of terror throughout, it also gives us violent bursts of horror near the end with Jack beginning to lose his sense of reality as the frigid wind and endless snowfall make it impossible to leave the hotel.  The final act of the film - the chase through the snow-covered hedge maze - are terrifying and show just how well Kubrick has planned out the frosty ending. /CH

COLD PREY (2006)

A group of friends on a snowboarding excursion in deepest, whitest Norway seek refuge in a seemingly abandoned hotel after an accident. As a snowstorm howls outside, it soon becomes apparent to the group that they are not alone in the hotel… Deft execution, detailed characterisation, a deeply eerie atmosphere and brutally cold location sets this apart from the plethora of post-Scream slashers. A slow-building sense of dread and isolation is evident from the get-go and Cold Prey benefits from a script that consistently subverts expectations. When the group discover they are not alone at the draughty hotel, they do everything they’re supposed to: stick together, try to formulate a reasonable plan, arm themselves and support each other. Of course, they’re still doomed, but at least it’s refreshing to see characters in a slasher film use their heads. Consistently cranking up the tension and icy atmospherics, offering us an imposing killer and featuring a damn good final girl in Jannicke (Ingrid Bolsø Berdal) – Cold Prey is one of the most compelling, suspenseful and freezing slashers in recent memory./JG

THE LAST WINTER (2006)

Nothing says snowbound like being in the remote Arctic, even if it‘s your job. The fight to drill in the Alaskan wilderness heats up as a group of oil company employees start to experience strange occurrences at their site. The frozen tundra is the perfect place to have the eyes play tricks on you. Various members of the team start to hallucinate, even going as far as to wander outside in the Arctic temperatures - naked. What is out there in the snow?  The spirit of the Wendigo seems to make an appearance here as a catalyst between man and nature - and how the Earth might possibly be letting us know she’s had enough of our relentless ignoring of the environment. A slow burn, for sure - but if you can stick with it, everything but the very end is relatively unsettling, and the claustrophobia of being stuck together for a long period of time takes its toll./CH

GINGER SNAPS BACK: THE BEGINNING (2004)

A horror sequel that not only matches its predecessor in terms of quality and originality, but one that also expands and further explores the original story, is a rare thing. Ginger Snaps Back is one such sequel. While the first film tells of a young woman who is attacked by a werewolf on the night she begins to menstruate, and its sequel follows the plight of her similarly afflicted sister, this unexpected third instalment transports the story back to 19th Century Canada. Two sisters, Brigette and Ginger, seek refuge from the grip of winter in a traders' fort which comes under siege by a group of savage werewolves. Like its forbearers, this film locks together menstrual cycles and lycanthropy to reflect on monstrous pubescence and darkly humorous body-horror. Not just a rehash of the first film, Ginger Snaps Back has more than a few surprises up its fine-furred sleeve. By confining the story to a single location, the events boast a tremendous sense of desperation and claustrophobia, as cabin fever and snowstorms reach fever pitch, and all is enrobed in a wintry, desolate and utterly chilling atmosphere. /JG


 THE THAW (2009)

More environmental distress. Research scientists in the Arctic discover a wooly mammoth frozen in the ice and snow. Intrigued but cautious, the team tranquilizes a polar bear nearby which promptly dies when they get it back to their research station.  Soon after, members of the team fall ill with a mysterious malady just about the time lead scientist David (Val Kilmer)'s daughter (Martha MacIssac) arrives as an intern.  Deducing that the polar bear had apparently been feeding off the thawing mammoth, they also discover a bizarre bug was thawed along with it and apparently infected the polar bear. Hence, several members of the team have now been contaminated.  Attempting to be a cautionary tale about global warming and sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, The Thaw is a surprisingly effective creep-fest that will have you thinking. /CH

MY LITTLE EYE (2002)

Whether viewed as a dark and despairing critique of contemporary society’s obsession with voyeurism and ‘reality TV’, or a tightly wound, slow-burning slasher, My Little Eye is an effective shocker that succeeds admirably on all levels. A group of strangers audition for a Big Brother style web-series in which they are required to stay at a remote house in the middle of snowbound nowhere, while their every move is recorded by myriad CCTV cameras throughout the house and broadcast to viewers of a private website. Events take a turn for the sinister when the group realise the site they’re being broadcast on is a snuff site… It’s bad enough that the group take their time to realise something suspicious and deeply sinister is afoot, and that they are so isolated, but to top it all off, they’re entrenched in boundless snow and freezing temperatures, making their odds of hiking out of the house pretty much impossible. Bloody murders, paranoia, creepy night-vision camera work and the notion that someone or something is ‘out there’ in the dark snowy night wrap My Little Eye in an icy, claustrophobic grip that refuses to relent./JG

The Thaw: So that's what happened to the dinosaurs!

How to describe 'The Thaw' without sounding like a total idiot? Here goes.


"You're a daisy if you do...."

Val Kilmer is Dr. David Kruipen, a scientist who leads a research team to the Arctic where they discover the thawing remains of a Woolly Mammoth (albeit the smallest one I've ever seen on tv or film). Unfortunately, the Mammoth isn't the only thing defrosting. A prehistoric parasite finds its way out of said creature as well.

The team is isolated from civilization when they discover the creepy bug is spreading throughout the station like a wildfire, with the potential to be a global disaster of epic proportions. They allude to the fact that it is possibly what happened all those thousands of years ago during the last ice age to end life as the dinosaurs knew it.
They go as far as to bring a contaminated polar bear back to the lab to study, which is stupid move number one.


"We're gonna need a Yankee candle or something in here..."

The next thing you know, people are getting infected, and being a horror film, it's fairly offensive.
You see, the bugs bite you and then lay eggs under your skin, which turn into larvae and then the finished product, which is like a cross between a roach, centipede, and earwig. In other words, gross.
And there's not just one of them. There are millions.


Apparently a reject from a J-Horror film.

When a group of students join the team, including Evelyn Kruipen - David's daughter - to observe and help with the research, things escalate when they can't find most of the team, including her father.


"Did Kanye just steal her award?"

Naturally, they start putting the pieces together fairly quickly - hard not to when your friends are either peeing blood or spewing up bile. There's a pretty nasty scene involving an arm and a meat cleaver, for all you gore-hounds.


Token black man not so 'handy'...

The only actor besides Val Kilmer (whom I have really only enjoyed in one film, Tombstone) that I knew was Kyle Schmid, who was in the vampire series, Blood Ties.
IMDB says the lead chick, Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac) was in The Last House on the Left remake - she must have played the friend - ?


"If only I had my fangs back I could take care of this shit."

There is an extremely pertinent message trying to be displayed here, and I agree with a review I read that stated 'if Al Gore made a horror movie this would be it." Global warming is the main aggressor here, and it pretty much spells that out for you within the first ten minutes.

I have to assume anyone with a scientific background will laugh this film off heartily, but I disagree with those who say it's bad. As far as bug-of-the-month movies go, I actually thought it was pretty good. Sometimes you just need to forget reality and use your damn imagination, okay?

Some people say it's been done already, with 'The Thing'... well, while 'The Thing' is a vastly superior movie, it was made in 1982. I think there is room for another -we're stuck in the isolated Arctic Circle with something we don't understand that could kill off the world - kind of movie. It is one part The Thing, one part Splinter, one part Slither and one part The Last Winter. There's your comparison, if I must.


"RAAAAAAIIIIDDDD!"

The DVD extra about the making of the film enlightens us to the fact that the working title for this film was "Bed Bugs." Thought up after one of the writers and his girlfriend had stayed in a hostel in Prague that had beg bugs under the sheets. I found it hard to wrap my head around the fact that anyone had actually stayed in a hostel in Prague after Eli Roth's movie of the same name, but anyway...

While I won't say it was the best film I've seen in awhile, I will say I enjoyed it and didn't feel I wasted any time at all. May even pick it up at Wal Mart once it hits the bargain bin.
And I really don't like Val Kilmer.