Halloween 2013: Road Trip Horror ~ Joyride & Rest Stop

These next two weeks, Marie and I have decided to each take a whole week and highlight another specific theme. My week is first, and I give you: Road Trip Horror. 

Ahh, the road trip.  A peaceful getaway to the mountains. A jaunt from city to city on business. A drive cross country just for the fun of it.  An escape by two lovers for some quiet time. A vacation with family. A road trip with friends to celebrate the holidays....  It's always fun to get away. Right?

Maybe not.  Road trips can wreak havoc on every last nerve in your brain. Traveling with friends, family, and/or loved ones can put undue pressure on even the calmest of folks.  But throw in a maniacal killer or a begrudged motorist and you're pretty much doomed.

So.
Who hasn't pulled what they thought was an innocent prank and found out later that it meant more to your victim than meets the eye?  We've all done stupid things in our past.  Hell, some of us might be doing foolish things right now.  But when a prank has devastating consequences, it's more than we bargained for and we're ill prepared for the repercussions.

Just as Lewis (Paul Walker) is about to fly home from college for the summer, he chats with Venna (Leelee Sobieski), a crush of his that he is trying to strike up a relationship with.  She tells him about her recent break-up and lack of a ride home for summer break, which of course sparks an idea.  He sells his airline ticket and buys a piece of crap car, telling her he is driving cross country and will pick her up - no problem at all!

On his way to meet Venna, he gets a call from his mother telling him that his delinquent brother Fuller (Steve Zahn) has been released from prison. When he sidetracks to pick him up from jail, Fuller decides it would be a great idea to hitch that ride home with Lewis and take some more flak from the parents for all the shit he's gotten himself into.  Somewhat reluctantly, Lewis agrees.

At a gas station/truck stop, Fuller buys an old CB, much to the chagrin of Lewis.  Soon they begin engaging in some harmless banter with a mysterious truck driver known only by his handle: Rusty Nail.  Doing his best impression of a sexy female trucker, Lewis jump starts Rusty Nail's libido by hinting at a possible interlude at an upcoming motel stop. As "Candy Cane", Lewis lures the trucker to room 17, one room down from the room of the two brothers. Upon check in to room 18, Lewis and Fuller have a brief run-in with a ridiculously rude businessman, who secures the actual room 17.

The prank goes all wrong when they hear Rusty Nail wake the businessman by knocking on motel room number 17.  The brothers hear a nasty argument and attack next door and find out the following morning that the businessman is in the hospital on life support due to wounds from a violent beating.

And so continues the road trip from hell.  Once on the highway again, Fuller and Lewis hear Rusty Nail over the airwaves, asking for Candy Cane.  The boys fess up to the prank, but somebody isn't taking it so well.  When they pick up Venna, things only get worse, and what started out as a joke has them running for their lives from the deranged trucker.

Who hasn't played a stupid joke on someone, not really meaning anything by it?  We all have, right?  Well this film certainly shows you what can happen when the tables are turned. Lewis and Fuller become the hunted, forced to play along with Rusty Nail and his very warped sense of humor, which only gets worse as the days go on.  Even as they try to escape the crazed killer, he keeps ratcheting up the terror, always seeming to be one step ahead of the trio. The silliest of counterplay (having the brothers walk naked into a truck stop and order cheeseburgers) turns into the scariest of retributions when first Venna's friend is kidnapped, then Venna herself becomes victimized, all to get a rise out of the two brothers.

Equal parts The Hitcher and Duel, Joyride is a tense outing, with some humor sprinkled in here and there. The cast is very engaging, and the evil trucker becomes quite malevolent in the end. It's obvious he's come completely undone, set upon vengeance for the silly prank that made him look a little stupid.  Some folks just can't take a joke.

MORE ROAD TRIP HORROR:  The much maligned Rest Stop, which I have previously reviewed HERE, is another example of bad shit happening when you hit the road.  In this case Nicole is a young woman who is heading off to California with her boyfriend, Jess. They stop off for some quick nookie (witnessed by a creep in a yellow pick-up truck) and then head to the nearest roadside rest to take care of other business.

When Nicole returns to the car, she finds Jess gone.  After looking around thoroughly she starts to panic, which is pretty much the correct expression, as the deranged idiot in the yellow pick up truck drives by and throws Jess's cell phone at her and speeds off. 

And so begins Nicole's never-ending nightmare as the truck driver keeps coming back to the rest stop to attempt to kill her. The film is certainly no prize (probably why it is a "Mindless Movie Monday" addition), but it's worth mentioning because there is no doubt all of us have stopped off at a less than sanitary rest area at least once in our lives.  And we never think about anything bad happening there.... Maybe we should.

Halloween Festival Of Lists: October 9: NINE Guilty Pleasures

At some point I had to admit it, right?  Which movies that are, for the most point, fairly awful - and yet still have a way of making me tune in.  It's hard to imagine why some of these films are being watched by anyone, but it's rather humorous when horror fans discuss what movies they love and hate - and which ones are decidedly awful no matter who's watching them.  But the following films are the ones that I still pull out (because yes, I own all of them on DVD!) and throw in the DVD player when I'm feeling nostalgic.

 House of 1000 Corpses (2003)


A while back, when I was busy getting into Rob Zombie's music, I thought 'Hey! This guy's making movies, too.  Should so check that out!' 
And I did.  Bought it sight unseen.  Was under ten bucks I'm sure or I wouldn't have been that brave. 
Let's just say that while watching it, my eyes were wide open the entire time, my jaw dropped as well.  I can remember after finishing it thinking, 'what the hell was that I just watched?'....and you know what?  I still have no idea what I watched.  But I liked it.  In a perverse, sick kind of way.  It's like watching an overly long, extended Rob Zombie music video.  But I love Dr. Satan and Captain Spaulding.  And that Firefly family? They are cuckoo for CoCo Puffs. Wow.  But something in that hour and a half 'video' keeps me coming back.  And no, I still have no idea what.

  Queen of the Damned (2002)


I get a whole lot of grief for this one.  And I'm aware why.  It sucks.  Big time.  And I know this. 
I'm a big Anne Rice fan, and when they cast Interview with the Vampire and chose Tom Cruise (!!) for Lestat, well let's just say that was worse than yellow jackets at a picnic.  So when they chose Stuart Townsend for Lestat in this picture, I have to say I was a bit relieved.  Not that he's awe-inspiring in it, or even decent, to be honest.  I just hated Cruise in that role so bad. 
And though it's not really nice to speak ill of the dead, I disliked Aaliyah here as well.  The whole film is pretty ridiculous, really.  But Townsend is pleasant to look at and I love the scenes in the cheesy vampire club, as well as the music - the soundtrack (both score and songs) is one of my favorites.

 Dracula 2000

Speaking of vampires, here's one most people hate as well. 
With Gerard Butler playing the Count and the storyline merging the story of Judas Iscariot with the Dracula storyline,  it really is one of the most ridiculous vampire stories out there. 
But did I mention Gerard Butler is playing Dracula?  Um, I don't care if he can't act his way out of a paper bag, he's freaking sexy.  Exactly what one would want if indeed they were trying to score with the tall, dark, and undead.
I'm also a huge fan of Christopher Plummer (though I bet he could kick himself in the Canadian ass for this one), and having him play the descendant of the famous Dr. Van Helsing..well, the casting department got lucky there, eh?
Even more prone to self-ass kicking should be Wes Craven, who has his name above the title for producing this stinker.  But hey, he's done that before (Cursed, I'm talking to you!).
All in all probably one of the worst vamp films in the last couple decades, but hey - the music was decent, it was fairly stylish, and again I say: Gerard Butler. Damn.

The Return (2006)

Here's a movie nobody saw.  But I did, and for an unknown reason I liked it.  First things first, the music score is by one of my favorite composers, Oscar winner Dario Marianelli.  It is one of my favorite movie scores and is still in stock on Amazon and at iTunes.
The movie itself surrounds the story of a young woman (Sarah Michelle Gellar) who has avoided going home to her small Texas town because she is haunted by something in her past that she can't quite remember.  She's troubled by it, plagued with nightmares, and sees visions of people and places she can't explain.  Finally having to go home due to her work, she has to confront the past head-on, and is surprised by what she finds out.  It can be confusing and quite slow at times, but I'm still drawn to it.  Maybe it's just the music and Gellar's presence, I don't know.

House of Wax (2005)

The original 1953 House of Wax with Vincent Price can never, EVER be topped by this worthless sequel.  There, now that I have that out of the way, I have to explain the reason this film is on this list.
The cast, sans Paris Hilton of course, is actually pretty strong here. I'm a fan of Supernatural's Jared Padalecki, and also think Elisha Cuthbert and Chad Michael Murray pull off a reasonably good job here.
But the film itself isn't great.  It's known mostly for Paris Hilton's graphic death, of course. 
Besides watching Padalecki get his wax on, I loved the ending when the titular house of wax is burning down and all that goop is everywhere, melting gruesomely to the ground.  Pretty gross, and that is why I still consider it a guilty pleasure.

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)


Ha! It's true! I love this movie!  I shall not tell a lie. Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze are....well, shall we just say you can tell that Ryan Phillippe was going to be the actor of the bunch.  Gellar gets by okay but her character is so unlikeable that it doesn't count for much.  Anne Heche is in here too, in a bit part that screams 'yep, I'm totally as certifiable as you think I am!'
My favorite part of the film is the opening.  It's very stylish, with the cover of Summer Breeze (Type O Negative) playing as the camera sweeps over the dark ocean, then the winding seaside road, and on to the poor chap on the cliff....wait...what's that I hear??  Hey, that's pretty good stuff.
And yes, I know the movie morphs into a teen slasher flick with nothing but a reason to showcase Hewitt's ample bosom, but I have a soft place in my heart for the fisherman with the hook.  Perhaps the old urban legend about the guy with the hook for a hand weighs in here, marring my judgement, but either way, I'm in for the long haul.  And I freaking love this soundtrack, passionately, which in case you didn't notice, means a great deal to me when dissecting films.

Mary Reilly (1996)

This film is critically panned, and with very good reason.  It's pretty darn awful.  This bizarre take on the classic story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is nothing if not peculiar. 
Julia Roberts was totally miscast, can't get her accent right to save her life, and is truly at her most unattractive here.  John Malkovich, as the enigmatic Dr. Jekyll and his creepy counterpart, is actually rather painful to watch.  He emits such a kooky and somewhat repelling vibe that it's almost frightening in and of itself.  The guy is weird (Malkovich), I get that. 
But this film is just a hot mess.
So why on earth do I not only like it, but own it?  Because I love bleak period films.  I thrive on them.  They make me happy on a rainy afternoon.  And this crap-fest fits that bill. 
Here's a trivia tidbit.  Tim Burton was originally set to head up this film.  I can only guess how much better it would have been.
But then again, I think perhaps I could have made a better film.

 Rest Stop (2006)

I get a heaping load of grief for this one, too. And truth be told, it's also pretty bad.  But I've always loved road horror.  I realize movies like Joy Ride, The (original) Hitcher, and even Duel are far better examples of this sub-genre.  But sue me, I like this piece of dreck.
Plot:  Guy and girl stop at rest area.  Guy is kidnapped by crazed serial killer driving a yellow (yep, yellow) pick-up.  Girl can't find guy. Girl desperately tries to keep yellow truck killer from doing his worst.
Bleeecck!
The acting is substandard, to say the least.  The killer never really does anything except drive a yellow truck and show up every now and again to terrorize the girl in the rest area.  There's a wacky family in a camper that have no point whatsoever. The twist ending isn't twisty at all and falls really flat.  And shan't we forget...freakin' Joey Lawrence plays a cop!  Wow, there really isn't anything right with this picture. 
But still...I own it.
I think the only thing worse than the fact that I own it...and actually enjoy it....is that they made a sequel!  Ahhh!

Soul Survivors (2001)


Simply the worst.  Really, really bad. 
But hey!  Eliza Dushku is in it!  As is Wes Bentley and Casey Affleck, both known to be decent actors on occasion!  So what happened here? 
In the plot, a young college girl is responsible for the death of her boyfriend in a car accident after driving drunk.  Even though her friends try to help her through the depressive funk she is in, she starts having hallucinations and believes she is being stalked by masked killers. And oh yeah, Luke Wilson plays a priest.
Seriously.
There is very ominous and bleak imagery in this film, and I suppose that is what has always attracted me.  There is a gothic dance club that is in the ruins of a church and I have to say is darkly delightful.  I would have loved that kind of place as a teen.  So basically, the script is senseless but I can't stop staring at the sets. 
But I have to say I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone.  Sadly, it is utterly dreadful.

Mindless Movie Monday: Rest Stop (2006)

Rest Stop is usually bombarded with negativity in pretty much every review I have ever read. And while it may very well be a piece of rubbish, I'm here to admit it is somewhat a guilty pleasure of mine.

It has little to no real scares, ridiculous acting, and a seriously moronic and uninspired plot.
So why do I like it? Beats the hell out of me.

As the movie begins, Nicole and Jess are taking off to California to become movie stars or models or some other truly ludicrous ambition. As naive as they are, they are bound to find nothing but serious trouble. On the road, they stop over for a quickie along side the highway (because apparently they have never seen a horror movie in their lives and don't realize how incredibly stupid this decision is). While finishing up their copulating, a yellow truck is seen idling nearby - not one to miss a peep show I guess. They don't think much of it, and once on the road again they manage to have an argument about the fact that they won't be staying with Jess's cousin once they hit LA. Seems they won't have anywhere to live. Really well thought out plan, guys. Kudos.

When Nicole expresses the need to stop at an upcoming rest area, they pull off. By all indications, this is one of the creepiest rest stops I've seen. Deserted, with no other cars around - and this is broad daylight mind you - Nicole heads inside to take care of business.

Okay...here is where I have to just say why? If it were me, I'd have just peed alongside the car and forgone the whole bathroom thing. I mean, who cares if your boyfriend sees you? Didn't you just exchange body fluids anyway? And there is no one else around!

Anyway, after using the extremely deplorable rest room, Nicole heads back outside only to discover Jess is gone. That goes for the car as well. After a lot of yelling and swearing, she finally realizes he's not coming back, so she laments their fighting and resigns herself to sitting on a picnic table and pouting. It is then when the yellow truck reappears, and the driver throws Jess's cell phone out the window at her and speeds away.

Obviously frightened and worried, Nicole decides to go for help, and comes upon a run-down old camper. Naturally the family inside is something out of a Twilight Zone episode and it doesn't take Nicole long to realize this is not a good idea. Seeming like a bunch of religious zealots, they bring absolutely nothing to the film whatsoever, except to crank up the confusion. When Nicole is caught peeping at a disfigured person behind a curtain in the camper (and no, it's not the Wizard), the family freaks out and kicks her ass to the curb. She returns to the rest stop and when she goes back inside the bathroom, she now hears someone crying. Nicole finds a young woman curled up behind the door of the maintenance room, bleeding and yammering on about some deranged killer that tortured her. When Nicole goes to the sink to wet some paper towels, the girl mysteriously disappears, leaving no trace of herself or the profuse bleeding that had occurred.

The man in the yellow truck reappears and Nicole, assuming he is the menacing killer, blocks his entry into the rest room. He continues to prey upon her fears and circles the rest area over and over, revving his engine and pointing his glaring headlights into the windows of the rest area. Near a panicked state, she is temporarily relieved when a policeman on a motorcycle drives up.
Rushing out to greet him and explain the situation, the cop nearly ignores her warnings, thinking her to be in a fragile mental state. That is, until the truck appears and runs the cop down, crushing his legs to a pulp then driving off.

Nicole somehow manages to drag the cop inside the rest room. The truck driver locks them inside, and when Nicole sticks her finger through a hole in the door to try to unlock it, the man bites off her finger. Nice. The cop gives Nicole his gun and instructs her to shoot the truck driver. All she succeeds in doing is wasting bullets, for a few moments later the killer drops a camera through a skinny opening in a window, which of course shows Jess being tortured.

Soon after, the killer sticks a hose through said window and starts to pour gasoline through it, intending to burn them out. Nicole, savvy young thing that she is, finds an opening in a ceiling hatch and then realizes she has no way to help the cop out. The officer then begs her to use his remaining bullets to kill him, as he'd rather not burn to death. Nicole, despite reservations, shoots him once and actually misses the brain - and has to shoot him again. Oh my.
Hurriedly trying to escape, she takes one last look back at the cop, only to find he too, is gone - with no evidence remaining that he had ever even been there.

So the movie is a total mind-fuck of a film. While Nicole continues her plight, encountering a ranger station (that just happens to have some handy whiskey) and eventually finding Jess and the maniacal killer, the film struggles on every level to have any cohesiveness. Most plot elements are shaky at best, and Nicole is actually pretty unlikable, if I'm being truthful. I wished it would have been her that was kidnapped by the crazed nutcase and not her dumb-ass boyfriend.

I think the film was trying to be some kind of ghost story in which the rest area is a catalyst to the killer's compulsions. In one scene, we come to realize the guy's been killing hapless rest area patrons for more years than feasible for his speculated age. So is the truck driver a ghost? An evil spirit that just can't stop his nasty habit? And who the hell were the folks in the camper who seemed like they'd been parked there since 1956? And why did the ranger station seem utterly useless, with no phone to speak of?

All these questions and more are never really answered, and I think this has to be the main gripe of anyone who has sat through it. There is absolutely no closure to this movie at all. There is a decent amount of gore - some brain matter showering and some torture scenes, but not enough to save it.

Unsurprisingly, a sequel was made a few years later which has the brother of Jess out looking to find out what happened to his runaway bro. The fact that he was even able to trace him down to that exact rest area just shows you how implausible and illogical the second film is as well.

Now that I've written this review, I have to wonder: why the hell do I like it? The notion that I would is as inexplicable as the film itself. Matter of fact, maybe I really don't like it.