Call me a geek, call me silly, whatever. When I was a kid I played the board game any chance I got (yes, I'm from the era when we didn't have X-boxes and Play Stations, ok?) and was really good at it. And I thank my mother for all those hours she sat and entertained me.
When they made the movie back in 1985 I was all about that.
It is hilarious, I don't care who you are.
So....I've always wondered what it would be like to re-make it (not that it could ever reach the same ridiculous comedic tone the first one had) and so today I give you my re-casting choices.
A dream cast from the get-go, can't you just imagine the movie with these actors in the roles?
The original cast:
...and my choices, starting with Wadsworth the butler.
Tim Curry was fab. No doubt made the entire film. So I was thinking who else could lend that much humor to the role - and naturally Simon Pegg came to mind.
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Casting the house help wasn't too hard.
First, Jenny McCarthy in the role of Yvette (played by Colleen Camp in the original)...
Jenny has the comedic chops and the (a-hem) body to get this one right.
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The cook, Ms. Ho (Kellye Nakahara of M*A*S*H fame) will be replaced with Kathy Bates.
I believe she has some previous experience with kitchen utensils at some point in her career.
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And now for the main players:
Christopher Lloyd as Professor Plum...
Philip Seymour Hoffman as the perverted Professor.
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The wonderful Madeline Kahn brought life to Mrs. White...
I see Anna Paquin as a somewhat younger version of the "grieving" widow.
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Michael McKean as the closeted Mr. Green would be replaced by:
Steve Carell. Because the man is funny, okay?
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Eileen Brennan played Mrs. Peacock the bribe-accepting politician's wife.
Like I said, dream casting. Meryl Streep could be kooky enough if she wanted to.
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Martin Mull, to me, would be hard to top. His performance in the movie as the always curious, nervous-Nellie war profiteer, Colonel Mustard was my favorite.
Could Gary Oldman break a smile long enough to portray the part?
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I really wanted to go different for Miss Scarlet, for as much as I liked Leslie Ann Warren, I never thought she matched the playing card enough, you know? She, to me, didn't exude the sexual chemistry that I thought the role deserved.
I thought long and hard and in the end, after I'd had several possibilities (Eliza Dushku, Kate Beckinsale) I settled on an actress not as well known for movies as for television.
Lindsay Price would have been a perfect choice for Scarlet. I can absolutely see her with the cigarette holder that was so popularized over the years and all the different versions of the game. I think she's quite sexy, and I like the idea of having someone with not as much star power in the role.
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I also picked out a Mr. Boddy, the blackmailer who is killed off in the beginning and is the entire reason everyone is playing detective in the first place.
Lee Ving (actually a punk rocker from the band, Fear) portrayed Mr. Boddy in the movie.
I've cast Alec Baldwin. Well, because he looks the part.
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Let's not forget the three unfortunates who came to the door of the mansion that evening during the nefarious events.
A stranded motorist:
Jeffrey Kramer/Josh Hartnett
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A singing telegram girl:
Jane Wiedlin/Katy Perry
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And a policeman:
Bill Henderson/Tony Todd (because I had to give the genre great some love...)
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And who could be better to replace Howard Hesseman (in a cameo seen only in the rare fourth ending version) as the police chief?
Why, Tommy Lee Jones, of course!
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There you go. Bad choices or inspired casting?
Comments? Opinions?