Pathways

by Dotti

Our goal is to create a caring community for people who are passionate about photography and life. We hope this will be a place that will inspire, teach, nurture, support and accept one another; a place where we can grow in our craft and as individuals.  Welcome and thank you for visiting.

This is the Focusing on Life mission statement, the one we adapted when we started our blog more than five years ago. Five days a week, we strive to fulfill this pledge to you, our readers. But there is more to us than what you see on the pages of our blogs, more than our words, more than our photos.

Each of us, the collaborators and the readers, is on our own pathway through life. Sometimes that pathway is smooth, sometimes it veers in unexpected directions, and sometimes it seems to be all uphill.

Right now, several of us here at FOL are on our own uphill pathways: aging and ailing parents, parents passing away, dealing with our own health issues, the long term challenge of spouses or other close friends and family who have  chronic and debilitating illnesses. The list goes on. 

Yes. You see, behind the scenes, our lives mirror yours.

Most of the time, we can juggle these concerns and we find that in addition to our caring relationships, our creative spark and camera therapy can see us through many of life’s stressful times. We’ve often talked on our pages about how effective camera therapy is for us as photographers.

But what happens when that’s not enough? When life’s challenges are just so hard that these things don’t work? When you just can’t muster the energy to lift your camera to your eye?

Terri and I were chatting about this just a few days ago and she reminded me that sometimes we just need to stop, feather our nests, concentrate on self care and allow ourselves time to heal.

Oh, yes! That’s something else we talk about a lot in our pages, too, isn’t it? Self care. But somehow, we too often forget to practice it for ourselves. I’m grateful to Terri for reminding me that this is what I need in my life right now. So today I’m reminding myself and each one of you to remember to concentrate on self care, not just when the going gets tough but every day to build our emotional and spiritual strength for those uphill pathways that will come our way.

We also talk a lot about practicing gratitude as a way to heal. Today I would like to express my gratitude to each of the FOL sisters and to each FOL reader for the love and support you bring to our community. One of the things I value most about FOL is that we are a caring community; we reach out in love and concern when one of us is hurting. There are not enough words to tell you how much that means to each of us.

So I’ll just say, “thank you”.

Simply Breathe

by Judy

 I recently had the pleasure of spending a whole day at a wellness spa. Much of my day there was spent in a candle lit room with scents of warm vanilla and cinnamon in the air.  Soft music playing - barely audible. Thick, cozy robes and slippers warmed by a fire.  Vanilla jojoba oil massaged into my tense, tight neck and shoulders.  It was a special day, and a very relaxing day, but it is definitely a splurge treat for me and not something that I have either the time for or the money for on a regular basis.  

The good news is, since my spa day, I've learned a lot about aromatherapy and how our brains and bodies react to scents, and I want to share some of that knowledge with all of you today.  We can all have a day spa right in our own home, and don't you think that is exactly what the Doctor ordered for all of the stress and anxiety many of us are feeling? We can use the mindful breathing techniques that Dotti taught us on Monday while breathing in aromas that have positive effects on our bodies and emotions.  

Our olfactory receptors are directly connected to the limbic system, which is the most primitive part of our brain, and is sometimes called the "seat of emotion."  Aromas consist not only of the sensation of the odor, but of the experience and emotions associated with these sensations.  What comes to my mind when I read this is the scent of freshly baked bread.  It's not just the heavenly aroma of the bread that makes me feel good, it's the memories of home, of my childhood and my grandmother, of comfort and worry-free days.  

Enjoying the benefits of aromatherapy at home is quite easy.  We can use essential oils, burn scented candles, use scented body washes and lotions, and drink tea with herbs or citrus.  

Some of my favorite scents are:

1. Vanilla.  Vanilla stimulates the brain to release "happy hormones" and calms the mind. 

2.  Rosemary.  Rosemary is invigorating.  It improves memory retention, fights physical exhaustion and mental fatigue.  

3.  Chamomile.  Chamomile is said to help reverse irritability.  When it's used in a massage oil, it soothes muscular pain and improves inflamed joints.  

4.  Lavender.  The calming properties of lavender help relaxation and sleep and  it can relieve nervous tension.

5.  Lemon.  Lemon is crisp and uplifting.  The lemon scent promotes concentration and clarity.  

6.  Eucalyptus.  The earthy scent of eucalyptus helps give you energy when you're sick or feeling sluggish.  

7.  Peppermint.  Peppermint is an energy booster that invigorates the mind and promotes concentration.  

What are your favorite scents?  Is there one that brings you a feeling of peace and happiness?  Can you find a way to add that scent to your bath?  Or burn a scented candle as you read by the fire? Maybe sip a cup of warm tea with rosemary or chamomile?  Share with us how you use your favorite scent to improve body and mind. 

 Aromatherapy has made a world of difference for me in just a few short weeks.  I feel more relaxed and ready to take on the day.  I hope you can find a scent  that brings you relaxation and peace this month. 

Time Marches On

by Leigh

Before I begin….just a word of thanks for all the love on my last post.  It was much appreciated and much needed. Thank you.

Now onto the matter at hand.  Time.  What feelings come up when you hear the word time?  Not enough? Too little? My heart rate is increasing already! I feel like I'm always in a hurry or rushing around to get those little checks marked off on my to do list.  My days are being dictated by checking off boxes and to be honest…I'm getting a little tired of it.  We live in such a fast paced world and we are constantly fight the clock.  I don't know about you, but the more I fight the more I don't get things done.  I feel defeated and can't seem to find that extra time that I'm so desperately looking for.  And then an article arrived in my inbox the other day that helped to change my perspective on time. 

To paraphrase the article…..With most everything in life, we must remember to take a step back and reflect on our routine.  Find those reasons that we are always in a rush.  If you tell (or more importantly allow) yourself to have all the time in the world, you'll find that everything just falls into place.

It's all about allowing ourselves to have control over our lives and not letting time control us. I have a friend who has a good grasp on this concept.  She commits to scheduling in time for herself.  She has a color coded system in her planner (which is such a great idea) and one color is for "me time".  It was really eye opening to me to look at her week and see all the various colors and how often that "me time" color shows up daily.  That along with prioritizing our to do list and spreading things out over the course of a week instead of trying to jam pack everything into one day can be helpful.  When we put too many things on our daily to do list we are just setting ourselves up for failure. If we make time to rest our body and treat it right, we will perform better.  Try scheduling in things like meditation, exercise, coffee with a friend just like you would paying bills or a doctor appointment.  Louise Hay says, "once we do things that are right for our body and minds, we have all the time in the world. We exhaust ourselves on things that don't matter or aren't good for us, so we don't end up having time for things that are good for us.  Managing and gaining control of your time will allow you to do the stuff you love and feel accomplished at the same time.  You have as much time as you give yourself." (That right there is my A-HA MOMENT!)  

Louise suggests an affirmation: I create my own security by trusting the process of life.

It Only Takes Five Minutes (Or Less)

by Judy

To say that I've been swamped at work lately is a huge understatement.  I've been going in early, working through lunch, and leaving late - for weeks.  I am exhausted, and even though I was still working hard today, I had a rare opportunity to work from home.  

The entire time I was poring over paperwork, entering data on my computer, and making phone calls, I was acutely aware that on this November day in New York it was sunny and 75 degrees. (For those of you not familiar with fall in my area of New York - the average temperature at the beginning of November is usually 55 degrees.)  To say that it was difficult to concentrate on work knowing that it was such a gorgeous fall day is another huge understatement, but I kept thinking 'if I just keep plugging away at this I'll get it done.'  

After going back and forth many times with these thoughts I finally stepped away from my computer, grabbed my camera, and stepped into my back lawn.  During my five minute break I was able to capture the magic of the afternoon light...

And the beauty of summer fading....

The whimsical...

And my colorful surroundings.  

It was a five minute break, such a short amount of time, but I went back to my computer feeling refreshed and ready to work, and oh so grateful for the simple little things in life. I could see that 

a little distraction was good for my brain, and even that short break helped to improve my focus, and made me feel more alert. 

Being a Human Resource Manager, and interested in anything about the work day, employees, and productivity, I searched online to find out some interesting information about the importance of taking short breaks throughout the work day.

• Short breaks, such as the five minute break I took, are called 'micro-breaks.'
• Taking regular breaks of just 2 minutes increases productivity 11.15%.  
• Just one short break improves mental acuity by an average of 13%.
• A 15 second break taken every 10 minutes reduces fatigue by 50%.
• Taking a 5 minute break every hour eliminates hand and wrist pain. 
• A 6 minute break should be taken at least every 80 minutes.  **

We can see that refreshing and renewing ourselves throughout the day doesn't take a lot of time. We're all busy, but let us not forget that even a little self love goes a long, long way.  Take care of yourself today and see what a five minute break will do for you.

** Info from the HealthDecide.OrcaHealth.com website.

My Week

by Dotti

This week is Fall Break week around here and my daughter and granddaughter have been spending the week at Walt Disney World. That meant I HAVE A WHOLE WEEK TO MYSELF! Yes, you read that correctly. No pick up lines, no after school snacks, no homework, no piano practice, no chauffeur service.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love my granddaughter and having her in my home each afternoon after school is a delight. But ...

A WHOLE WEEK TO MYSELF!

So, what did I do? Whatever I darn well pleased.

For starters, I left the breakfast dishes on the counter ...

... grabbed my camera and headed outside into the intoxicating morning light.

There were flowers in my garden.

There were the remains of flowers from the summer past.

I had lunch on my back porch with my Kindle and, of course, a wee dessert afterwards while I read my book a while longer.

 A pause here to tell you about my book. I'm a huge fan of Louise Penny and if you like mysteries that are not your cozy British mysteries but something with very likable characters and plenty of suspense, you'll like her, too. Usually I'm right on top of a new book when it comes out but this time I set it aside saving it for a time when I knew I could savor it. This was the week. And I am so glad I did. It is her best book in the Inspector Gamache series. I'll finish it this evening and as I suspect we all do when we come to the end of a well-loved and much-enjoyed book, we're conflicted about finishing it and putting the characters back within the covers. And that's exactly how I feel right now.

Anyhow, moving right along, to tell you about my week.

I went shopping. No pictures.

I walked around the neighborhood and each time met up with friends and neighbors, taking time to visit. Too often it's just a nod of the head. This week I spent time. It was delightful. No pictures.

What I didn't do: cook and clean. Fortunately, my husband is not a person who demands dinner on the table at 6:30. In fact, as I write this, he's outside mowing the grass and will fix his own snack later. If we wanted a real supper, I told him he was taking me out. After all, this was my week.

I visited the garden in the evenings and found this as well as the photo uptop, which is SOOC.

Oh! I baked a cinnamon coffee cake. Just because.

And today, after having lunch with a friend, I bought myself some sunflowers.

So, is there a point to this post? Yes, there is. 

We've said it here before, we'll say it again: take time for yourself. Self-care is so important. There's no question that five days to do exactly as I pleased was a real luxury, not something that will happen often, maybe never again. But whether it's a day, a half day, an hour, or just lunch with a friend, take time for yourself.

It will recharge your batteries, lift your spirits, help you be more patient and loving, help you see the sunshine through the gloom. When we don't take care of ourselves, we're cheating ourselves and those we love. We are better care takers when we take care of ourselves first.

Promise me you'll do at least one thing for yourself this weekend. You'll be glad you did.

that still, small voice ...

by Dotti

Do you listen to that still, small voice when it whispers in your ear? You know the one I’m talking about. Well, recently, I chose to ignore it at my own peril.

Toward the end of July, my mother asked if I could come spend a week with her while my brother and his family went on a long-planned vacation. I said, ‘Sure, Mom. I’ll see what I can work out.’ Little did I know that my best laid plans were going to get a bit unraveled.

Four days before my planned departure, I was diagnosed with bronchitis. Well, having been through that before, I knew it was nothing to laugh about. I did ask my family to see if Plan B could be worked out because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep my promise.

Hmmm. There didn’t seem to be a Plan B. So ignoring that still, small voice whispering in my ear, I dutifully put myself on that plane, drove from Baltimore to Pennsylvania and settled in to care for my mother. I’d begun to feel better so I thought all would be well.

Not.so.fast.

When I returned home a week later, I quickly learned that my bronchitis had turned into pneumonia. I was so focused on caring for my mother, I neglected to care for myself. Sound familiar?

It turns out I’m great at giving advice to other women about self care … but not so great at practicing it. I’m always the first one to tell you that you can’t jeopardize your health. Uh. Yeah.

For women, I think it’s often magnified because we’re the ‘caretakers’. We always push aside our needs to minister to the needs of others.

Friends, we really do need to take self-care seriously. We need to actually do it, not just give it lip service, engaging the help of others if necessary. We really should not jeopardize our own health to care for others, even those who are so very dear to us. We’re expendable. If I hadn’t gone to my mother’s, she would have been disappointed but she would have found another solution to her problem.

Above all, listen to that still, small voice when we hear it. It is usually is smarter than we are.

I told my daughter that if I had known then what I know now, I would not have gone to care for my mother. My daughter is adamant I’d have gone anyhow. I’m just really not sure.

Thankfully, I’m well on the road back to health but I wonder: 

What would you have done?

Don't Forget to Add This to Your Holiday List

by Susan

They say a picture is worth a thousand words and oh... I'm really hoping so here.  You see, it's about 1:00am and after working 12 hour days, no weekends off... I'm scrambling here to put together a post.  Ugh! Let's face it, I'm beat.  When my family sees this post they will pretty much just laugh it off and be like...'YOU'RE (???) telling people how important it is to practice self-care?' ... and then the laughter would come.  BaaHAAhaabahaha....... humbug.  :(

So, with that little introduction said, I'm going to practice a little self-care and get some sweet sleep.

Here's wishing everyone a most beautiful, healthy and happy holiday! Cheers to all of you! 

Nighty night.

Happy Holidays! ~ xo's