Thoughts on Motherhood

by Dotti

Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.

                                                             ~ Robert Browning

With Mother’s Day approaching and a recent visit to my mother, some 700 miles distant, thoughts of motherhood fill my heart and mind. That being the case, I thought I’d write a nice, sweet yet profound post about motherhood and grandmotherhood and gratitude. But something happened between the idea stage and research stage. 

I was sure I would find some very meaningful quotes by some very eminent philosophers and writers. I found a few, the above being one of them. Really, that quote says it all but I can’t end this post here, so I’ll babble a while longer.

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

                                                                                                    ~ Abraham Lincoln

This is true of my own life. In our family, daily family devotions after supper were the norm. When she sent me off to college, my mother made sure she knew I was praying for her. Likewise when I married and even today, she never closes an email without assuring me of her prayers. And I know it to be true, because when we visit her, we have family devotions after supper and she prays for every family member.  By name.  That’s a lot of names.

At this point, the philosophers and writers grew a bit overbearing and pretty soon, I was into a batch of quotes about “mom” by celebrities, past and present. Sad to say, many of these hit closer to home, so I’m going to share just a few. After all, who says we have to be totally somber and reverent as we think about motherhood and Mother’s Day?

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

                                                                                                 ~ Ambrose Bierce

Yes, I hear you all chuckling out there in FOL Land. It’s true. We get chilly and we put a sweater on our child, or in my case, my grandchild. Within minutes, it’s off her body and on the floor or ground. I should have learned by now that this child is so warm natured, she is almost impervious to cold. You’d think by the time we become grandmothers, we’d understand this fact of life. But, no. We keep right on plugging those sweaters.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? The mother.

                                                                                                    ~ Claudette Colbert

Somehow, one doesn’t think of Claudette Colbert as a grandmother but she must have been because she speaks wisely about being a grandparent. I loved being a parent, I loved watching my daughter grow up. But, oh, friends! I have to tell you. Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest joys! I am so much more attuned to each stage of my granddaughter’s life. Now, I’m fortunate that I see her almost every day. But each step of the way, I observe and feel things I missed when my own daughter was growing up. I was so wrapped up in being a mom, I sometimes forgot to savor. With my granddaughter, I can not only savor but inhale deeply and etch the moments into my memory. The only problem? I can’t slow down the clock, it’s all happening too quickly.

Once you’re a mom, always a mom. It’s like riding a bike, you never forget.

                                                                                                   ~ Taraji P. Henson

Isn’t this the truth? Once we become a mom, we’re always a mom. I can remember thinking, when my daughter is {in the next stage of childhood}, it will be easier. The biggest falsehood about motherhood? When my child is an adult, I can relax. Ha! Really? The problems just got bigger and your mom-worry just grew in proportion to those bigger problems. So, yes, it’s true. Once a mom, always a mom.

Isn’t it grand?

Happy Mother’s Day!

May Focus:

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Thoughts on Motherhood {or Flowers for Mom}

by Dotti

There are many watershed moments for those who are mothers. First, of course, is the moment of bringing a new life into this world. Even though we're proud and happy, we cry when we send our children to preschool, then kindergarten, then high school … and so on.

This time of year, there are mothers everywhere getting ready to see their children graduate from high school or college, ready to leave the nest. It’s truly a watershed moment for any mother. I well remember the heartache I felt all summer long in between my only daughter’s high school graduation and her departure for a college that was six hours away. Yikes! And the four hours it took me to stop crying as we returned home after depositing her at her dorm.

So when I read about or hear friends talking about being at this crossroad in their lives, my heart goes out to them all. We spend their whole lives from birth until high school graduation preparing our children to be independent but when that time comes, we want to hang on, we don’t want to let them go. We wonder where, wherever did those years go?

My mother is a strong, determined woman, one who has relied on her strong faith through all of life’s challenges including motherhood. I can remember two watershed experiences in my own lifetime that I often recall at this time of year.

My father was very old-fashioned, a second-generation Italian and he had much of the Old World in him. He didn’t see any point in sending me to college since he declared I was just going to get married and have children. No, my mother said. Our daughter is going to college. And so it was, my parents drove me from northeastern Pennsylvania to central Kentucky where they deposited me at my dorm. My mother told me years later, when I took my own daughter to college, that after they left me, they said hardly a word to one another for the whole 700-mile trip home. And by the way, there wasn’t a prouder father than mine at my college commencement!

Fast forward five years later. After college, I moved home for a year to work and save some money before moving back to Kentucky to join my then-fiance. But you know what they say about the best laid plans ... After quitting my job, as I was preparing to move, we broke off the engagement. My father, ever true to his Old World protective instincts declared that I would not go to Kentucky. My mother said, no. She must go. It’s time for her to make her own way in the world.

When the day came for me to get on the plane to fly to Lexington, my father couldn’t {wouldn’t?} take me to the airport, so my mother drove me alone. Those were the days when you walked across the tarmac and mounted the outside steps to the plane. {I think only the President does that now.} When I reached the top of the steps, I turned to wave at my mother and I could tell she was crying buckets, as was I. Yes, she was strong. But she also struggled to let me fly from the nest, just as I struggled to let my daughter fly from the nest.

Just as mothers everywhere are struggling to let their sons and daughters fly from the nest.

This is what it means to be a mother. But isn’t it grand?